Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > "Yeah It's Cool, I'll Be Okay ..."
Driving along the streets of Tyler’s town, Josh asked multiple questions, all of which were trying to pry information on the whereabouts of Tyler’s mystery adventure he had planned for today. Tyler didn’t give anything. Josh sulked, and then went to turn on the radio, only to find there to be a gaping hole in the car where the radio should have been.
“Uh … Hey TyJo, um … Where’s your radio??”
“Oh … It got stolen a little while back …”
“So what do you do if you’re not listening to music in the car, play I-Spy?”
“No … I kinda just sit in silence … I haven’t really bothered to replace it yet … But I will eventually. Anyway we’re here so get out and get your stuff.”
“Huh? Tyler, this is the edge of the forest?”
“I know.” With that Tyler turned off the car and got out, grabbing is pack and blankets in the process. He then started walking toward the edge of the tree line before he finally turned around to face Josh. “You coming or what?”
“Okay … Whatever you say Ty!” Josh said, laughing and then following the skinny male into the trees. Josh knew that Tyler liked to climb around and play amongst the trees, but this time something was different. Instead of jumping around and starting to try climb trees, Tyler was carefully walking around the trees. His eyes were scanning the tree trunks, as if he was looking for a specific tree or something on a tree. “What you looking for Ty?”
“A tree …” The younger man trailed off, not really focusing on Josh’s question and more focusing on the trees.
“Well … I can see about 394 out here …” Josh stated, trying to break Tyler’s concentration to get more of a clear and straightforward answer from him. It worked.
“That’s a bit of a specific number there Jishy … Where’d you pull that one from?” Tyler deadpanned at Josh, turning to face the brightly coloured hair that was popping out from behind a tree. Then Tyler stopped and thought … “Did you seriously pull a Snape on me?”
Josh laughed at him, “Yes that’s where I got the number … I’ve been wanting to use that line for ages and I’ve never had the chance to!” Both men laughed at Josh’s four year old nature. “But seriously Ty, what you looking for?”
“Something …”
“Can I help you?”
“Do you know what you would be looking for?”
“No.”
“Well there you go.”
“Could you tell me?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s part of the surprise that I planned for today silly! If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore would it?”
“I guess not …” At that Tyler went back to searching the tree trunks for something he just didn’t seem to be able to reach … And Josh went back to observing the surroundings that Tyler had brought him to. Sometime later Josh had lost sight of Tyler and had started to climb the trees before he heard Tyler yell out his name. In no time Josh had located the source of the yell and found Tyler standing in front of a tree, hiding the base of it from Josh.
“Jeez Ty, I thought you were in trouble or something …”
“Oh … I’m sorry Jish … I didn’t mean to scare you like that …” Tyler began, his eyes going from happy and bright to sad and sorry.
“Aw don’t be so hard on yourself it’s fine I know you’re okay and that’s all that matters.” Josh smiled at Tyler, trying to bring back the happiness he saw. “Anyway what did you want?”
“Oh … Well I found what I was looking for!” Tyler exclaimed, becoming happy and bubbly again.
“Well, aren’t you gonna show me?”
“Yeah …” Tyler moved out of the way and sat next to the base of the tree, revealing what he was hiding. Josh sat down in front of the base and tried to comprehend what Tyler was showing him.
It was a carving that had looked like it was done years ago. The carving read:
TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH’S FRIEND LIST:
BLURRYFACE
And that was it … No other name was there … Not even a scratched out name … Just … Blurryface.
“Who’s Blurryface Ty?”
"Oh ... He's someone bad that I used to ... Know ... But he's gone now ... He has been for a while ... He's not my friend anymore ..." Tyler started, trying to explain in the best way possible to not let Josh know about who Blurryface really was ... He didn't want to scare off Josh, his only friend that hasn't run away or thought he was weird ... The only person that truly accepted him for the little human he was. The other band members that left him were okay, but they still didn't try and include Tyler in everything or anything outside the band for that matter ... But Josh did, and Josh for some reason has this massive effect on Tyler. Ty still didn't know what it was yet, he thought it might be that Josh was very fond of Tyler ... And visa versa ... But now Tyler was beginning to think it might be something stronger ... Something bigger than just being fond of Josh, more that affection ... Something bigger that Tyler hadn't experienced before.
"Hey ... Are you okay? With me knowing about this guy and all ... I mean you don't have to tell me anything at all ... And you kinda look as if even the thought or mention of this name hurts you ..." Josh said, observing the sudden change in Tyler's behaviour and getting very worried about him. Josh will admit it ... He liked Tyler, he knew it. Tyler had this effect on him and it held him like gravity hold us all to the Earth ... And he didn't want to do anything to make Tyler uncomfortable or hurt ... He would never want that.
"Yeah ... He's ... It's ... K-kinda a long long story ... And ... I dunno Josh ... Nobody ever understood it ... Ever ..." Tyler responded, getting upset, "Not even my parents ..." he added quietly.
"Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to okay? I'm not making you, and if you don't wanna talk about it then say so and I'll come up with something else to take your mind off this ... Hey?" Josh said soothingly to the upset boy. Josh crawled over to where Tyler was on the ground and wrapped his arms around him, wanting to protect him from whatever it was that was clearly upsetting him.
"What are you doing Josh?" Tyler said, slightly muffled in Josh's arms.
"I'm hugging you Ty ..."
"Why?"
"Because hugs are great, and they make people feel better. It's also scientifically proven to help release the happy hormone inside your brain, making you feel calm and safe and happy ... Also because I give the best hugs in the world!" Josh said, smiling at the last joke he made, trying to get Tyler to smile and laugh.
"Hehe ... I didn't know you liked Science and all that stuff Jishy?" Tyler said, looking up at Josh.
"Yeah nah I'm not actually ... I just remember getting told that from somewhere ... I dunno it could be made up but it sounds pretty sciency to me so I believe it ... Besides it gives me an educational excuse to hug you!" Josh stated defiantly, sticking his tongue out at Tyler.
"You actually do give good hugs." Tyler said, smiling into Josh and allowing the older boy to tighten his hold and bring them closer together. After another 20 minutes hugging at the base of the tree Josh spoke.
"You feel any better yet TyJo?"
"Yeah ... I do ... But I still wanna tell you about the tree and why I brought you here to see it ..."
"Alright ... But do it in your own time okay? We've got all the time in the world to spare and I got no plans for the rest of the week so take as long as you need 'kay?"
"Really Josh, the rest of the week? You trying to imply something buddy?" Tyler jokingly argued, pretending to be offended.
"No ... I'm just saying I've got nothing to do except sit here and listen to you speak."
"Alright then ... Well, I don't really know where to start ..."
"How about the beginning?"
"Ha ha. Very funny ..."
"Sorry, I'll let you continue."
"Thanks ... Well, I guess ... Can you just promise me one thing please Josh?" Tyler pleaded, looking up into Josh's eyes.
"Anything Ty."
"Promise not to leave me ... Or get scared or something like that or think-"
"I will never think anything less of you than what I do now ... And I think you are one of the most awesome people I've ever met and I would trade everything just to continue being your friend forever."
"Aw ... Okay then ... Thanks, it means a lot to me ... Well then ... I never had any friends, I was home-schooled so I didn't have to go and play with kids or anything ... But eventually I grew up and wanted a friend, and so somehow I got a friend and his name is Blurryface. I thought he was great but I didn't really realise at that time that he was in my head and that he was my imaginary friend ... And he was okay, but as I got older he told me and convinced me to do things that were wrong and that I shouldn't do. And I trusted him, so I did as he told me to all the time. Eventually I got my Basketball scholarship and I went to collage for it ... And then I got bullied and stuff because I was weird and I talked to myself and stuff ... And they bullied me every day and every chance that they got ... But afterwards Blurryface was there and he helped make me feel better and helped fix me up again.” Tyler explained, slightly pained.
“Eventually I began to believe every single thing he told me ... And I would do anything and I believed everything ... And it was all okay, except I was being naughty and doing the wrong things ... But then Blurryface decided he, instead of being nice to me, was going to torment me ... He started going from being a nice person to being my biggest nightmare ... Except I couldn't wake up from it ... I was trapped with him and I couldn't stop listening to everything he said ... And eventually that lead down to me becoming depressed and suicidal and I tried so many times like Blurryface told me to ... My parents were so confused and upset and didn't know what was going on ... And then I tried hanging myself like Blurry told me to but I couldn't tie the knots properly, so I fell and broke my arm ... I was taken to hospital and my parents requested that I had psychologists and psychiatrists assess me and they gave me this medication that I still have to take every day ...” Tyler continued, starting to cry.
“Hey shhh, It’s okay, I’m here and I’m not letting you go I promise.” Josh whispered to the sad and lonely male, holding him closer and putting his head on Tyler’s. “Just take your time I’ll wait.”
“Okay … Um … Well … The medicine didn’t work properly … I was on a weak one at the start but then after a week Blurryface came back and he looked different … At first he was kinda dull and bland but after the medication he came back a little more deranged … He wasn’t entirely the same as he was before, he was more violent and crazed … His eyes were glowing amber red and he was moving kinda funny … He came back and he was really really mad at me for taking the meds … He hurt me again … Really badly … So I got taken to hospital again and they gave me really strong meds … And I didn’t want to take them because I was scared of Blurryface coming back even worse … Or having him mad at me again … So I refused to take them but the doctors were sneaky and forced me to take them through my food and my water … And then I woke up and he wasn’t there … Blurryface was gone again …” Tyler explained, still shaking and noticeable upset by the whole ordeal and remembering it all again in vivid detail. Josh continued to hug the poor male and cooed at him every now and then to try and help sooth him and calm him down where the story got really bad.
“I was really scared that the medicine wasn’t going to work again … But I was still in hospital so they kept giving the medicine to me in my food and stuff … And then eventually after a while they said I was fine to be released … So they released me but told me that I needed to continue taking the meds otherwise it would get worse again … So I did and I haven’t seen Blurryface or heard his faint cackle or anything … I eventually got a little better aside from the Blurryface thing, being a little more social and that kinda stuff, and then I found the others and made the band and you know the rest form there … But they didn’t really include me in anything outside of the band you know? They were there to make music and perform and stuff but other parties or social events that they got invites to or were hosting, they never mention it to me or ask if I want to come or anything …” Tyler pressed on, starting to get more nervous as he was coming up to the part that today was all about. Josh sat patiently like a puppy.
“A-a-and you don’t do that to me … Y-you include me in o-other stuff … You don’t just l-leave m-me … You ask me if I want to come to parties or things that you get invited to even though the people who invited you have probably no real idea who I am … You always ask me if I’m okay … You always ask if I want to come and hang out with you and some friends … You even ask if we can just hang out, just us … A-a-and nobody’s really done that for me before you … A-a-and I … I think th-that … You’re … Um …” Tyler started to trail off, not knowing whether or not he wanted to continue with this. What if Josh didn’t feel the same way? What if I was just being stupid? Tyler’s mind wasn’t helping him at all. Josh then spoke up.
"Yeah, it's cool, I'll be okay"
I felt your pain wash over me
I dry your eyes and hide my shakes
I hate that look that’s on your face
“Look, Ty. You don’t have to tell me everything okay? I’m cool with not knowing everything that’s going on for you in your personal life. I didn’t realise you were having such a hard time and if I had have known … I probably wouldn’t have tried to push you into doing things so often … And I would’ve been a better friend to you … I’m so sorry that I didn’t realise I wasn’t helping you I really am-“ Josh began, getting upset because he thought that he had made things worse for Tyler … But Tyler cut him off.
“No no no no Jish that’s not what I’m saying … I’m trying to say something that I’ve never felt before or said to anyone else every … I just don’t know how to say it or if I should because I don’t want to lose you … You’ve made everything better for me … You’re my air catcher and I need you … You’ve made me genuinely smile so many times a day I never thought it was possible, you’ve made me feel happy and wanted and loved and needed and accepted. Truly accepted, not just as part of the band but as a part of your personal life too. I feel complete … I feel safe and warm and above all I feel okay with you … I feel like I’ve found something that I’ve been needing more than ever and I didn’t realise it much before last night … But now that I’ve realised what you mean to me … I … I really don’t want to lose you … A-a-and I-I don’t think I’d do so well in life or anything without you anymore …” Tyler began to cry again, sobbing into Josh’s shoulder as his heart and brain threw everything up.
“Tyler, I … Was that what you were mumbling about last night? Because I woke up and went to the bathroom and on my way back I heard you mumbling stuff …” Josh said sheepishly, not wanting to be intrusive of an already turned to jelly Tyler.
“Yeah it was … Blurryface … He … He came back Josh … He came back and he was even worse than the last time … He was all hazy and fizzing in and out … Like the snow on a badly tuned TV … His eyes were burning even brighter red, like they were gateways to the most painful depths of hell … And his hands weren’t human … They were sharp jagged claws with talons for fingernails … And he was completely covered head to toe in dried, crystallised blood … But it didn’t look like human blood … It was sick, like it was diseased … It was crimson and black … And his feet and toes had the same jagged caw talon things breaking out from the tops of his shoes … And he said horrible things Josh, he said that I would be in a lot of trouble later on for taking the meds and being happy again because he was gone … It was like he was always there in the back of my mind, reading everything that happened to me … And he was talking to me … You were there too … And he was saying that because hurting me wasn’t causing enough pain anymore, he was going to take away something that meant everything to me … And he explained it so perfectly … It was horrible … He …” At this point Tyler couldn’t take it anymore and he completely broke down and cried, and Josh let him. Tyler cried harder than he had ever cried before and Josh was there. Josh held on to Tyler tighter and let the scared male shower him in salty waves of pain and fear. All the while Josh was rubbing small circles on Tyler’s small skeleton and it was soothing to Tyler. Tyler felt safe and secure, warm and protected. But most importantly he felt like he was loved and cared for, not that his parents never did that, they loved and cared for him too … But this was a different kind of feeling that Tyler had never experienced before and he liked it and he didn’t want it to go away … More importantly, Tyler needed this feeling to keep him alive … Tyler needed this … Josh gave this … Tyler needed Josh … When Tyler had calmed down enough to speak again he continued his story …
“Okay … Blurryface described the one thing that I needed to be happy and the one thing that I loved … And I didn’t even know what it was yet but I knew I couldn’t lose it … And it’s you Josh …” Tyler ended, looking up into Josh’s eyes with his own, pleading silently that he understood and that he wouldn’t leave … Josh was shocked that Tyler felt this way … Josh knew he liked Tyler and he knew that Tyler had demons … But he never knew that he helped make Tyler feel better on this level …
“Ty … I didn’t know … I didn’t know that I made you feel like this …” Josh didn’t know how to word what his mind was screaming for him to say … And Tyler cut him off.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way because I get that and all and I don’t even know why I told you I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything …” Tyler began rambling, feeling like he had destroyed the friendship between them but he was stopped short of his rambling when he felt soft lips upon his own. He was shocked and opened his eyes to see Josh’s own looking at him as the kiss ended.
“I’m sorry but I needed to make you stop … Because none of that is true … And I also didn’t know how to put my mind into words for you so yeah … That kinda was how my brain said to do it … I’m sorry hehe …” Josh trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck and staring down towards the tree roots because he was nervous and awkward.
“I didn’t think you-“
“Liked you in that way? Well … Yeah I do … I can see that you’ve never really been social and I wanted to make you feel included and well … You never really smile so I try to make you smile as much as I can … And I try to make you as happy and everything else … And I really like you … A lot …” Josh trailed off again, blushing.
“Y-you like me Jishy? In that way?” Tyler questioned, needing to know the truth.
“Yes Tyler, I like you and I don’t want you to be alone anymore … I wanna be with you and be the person you can fall back on when things don’t work … I wanna be with you.”
“Really?” Tyler asked in a small voice.
“Really really.”
“Aw come on! Shrek, really? At a time like this???” Tyler laughed with Josh.
“Eh, why not? It made you smile and laugh!” The boys, still cuddling in the cold, laughed for ages until Josh spoke up again. “But I have a serious question for you now Ty …”
“Yeah Jish?” Tyler pressed, feeling a little anxious again at what the question could be.
“Do you really want me to be with you? Properly I mean … Like … Y-your … Um … Your boyfriend?” Josh asked, slightly worried because he really didn’t want to freak Ty out and he really didn’t want the answer to be no.
“If you want to stay and you’re not afraid of the stuff I just told you …” Tyler said unsure.
“What is there to be afraid of? Besides it doesn’t matter to me as long as I know you’re happy then I’m happy.” Josh replied sincerely. “Of course if that means I can kiss you and cuddle you more then that’s fine by me hahaha!” Josh added to the end, knowing that it was an acceptable joke to make because Tyler seemed comfortable with the idea. Tyler laughed with him.
“Well if you’re going to cuddle me like this then I guess you’ll have to stay hahaha!” Tyler replied, still laughing at Josh.
“So … Does this mean I’m your boyfriend?” Josh said, trying to clarify because he needed it.
“Only if I can be yours Jishwa.” Tyler answered honestly before nervously pressing his cold lips to Josh’s warm ones. Josh happily replied by kissing Tyler back, his lips sharing and spreading their warmth with Tyler’s. After a little bit they broke apart. Josh was first to speak.
“I think we should do something about this tree eh Tyler?” He said, pulling out his pocket knife and flicking open the blade. He looked from the tree to Tyler, looking for approval to continue. Tyler nodded in consent. After a good hour of carving Josh was done his masterpiece … And he was all sweaty too. Tyler’s friend list now read:
TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH’S FRIEND LIST:
--B-L-U-R-R-Y-F-A-C-E--
JOSHUA WILLIAM DUN
Tyler inspected it. Then spoke to Josh.
“It’s perfect Jishy, thank you so much. You’ve made everything better the day I saw you and now everything is perfect.”
“Well it’s not perfect just yet …”
“What do you mean Jishwa?” Tyler pressed, not wanting anything to ruin this moment of pure bliss.
“Well, for one I’m hungry and I want Tacos … And two I’m all stinky and sweaty from the carving … And three I’m not all warm and snuggled in a pile of pillows and blankets with my favourite human in the world watching his favourite movie.” Josh replied cheekily, jesting.
“Well that can be arranged.” Tyler said happily, relieved that it wasn’t anything really serious.
After packing up their gear and getting back into the car Tyler drove back to his house and told Josh to go have a shower and he’ll order the Taco Bell. By the time Josh got out of the shower and had properly dried off (Tyler had made him redo it twice because he was dripping wet after he came out both times) the Taco Bell order was here and prepared for devouring.
“Mmm smells amazing TyJo! Oh I didn’t tell you what I wanted oh sorry …”
“Nah it’s okay I just ordered what you had last time … Seems lie you’re a regular there so they knew what you wanted anyway which made it easier …”
“Ah well yeah I kinda do eat there a fair bit … Hehehe … Thank you Tyler.”
“No worries Josh, now eat it or I will!”
Both males ate their food calmly, talking idly about whatever popped up on their minds. For the first time in forever Tyler was actually comfortable with idle chat. He had never been good with small talk or just talking about whatever came up on his mind. But now things had changed for the good for once, and he was finding it a million times easier to just discuss whatever popped up in his mind. And Josh noticed it, and was happy that Tyler finally found someone he could be relaxed and easy going around. After they finished their food, Josh offered to clear away the plates and cutlery that they had used for the meal, whilst Tyler prepared the living room.
“Hey Ty where’d you go?”
“In here Jishwa!” Tyler called in response from the living room, TV remote in hand and already snuggled and comfy in the mountain of pillows and blankets he had arranged on his couch. “Come snuggle me Jishy!!”
Josh came out into the living room and found the scene Tyler had made and smiled, then snuggled in the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ as they now call it and cuddled Tyler. Ty flicked on the TV and pushed play on his VCR of choice. It was ‘The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring’ and Josh smiled because he also enjoyed the works of J.R.R.Tolkien.
“Do you like it Jishwa?” Tyler asked in a small voice, muffled by the covers and the beautiful soundtrack arrangement by the master of music scores Howard Shore.
Josh was confused, then it came to him. Tyler actually went out of his way to make this happen for me … All because I said that this would make the moment absolutely perfect to me … He responded: “It’s perfect Ty, thank you … … … I love you.” He added to the end, nuzzling into the crook of Tyler’s neck and planted soft small kissed every now and then as the movie continued. When Gandalf died Tyler had someone to cry with, because both full grown males died a little inside when Gandalf said: “Fly you fools!” and fell into the abys with the Balrog. By the end though Josh noticed that Tyler was struggling to stay awake so he suggested that they call it a night and go to bed.
“I’m not sleepy Jish I yawn I swear!”
“Tyler, you can barely keep your eyes open and you’re yawning every three seconds! What’s wrong?” Josh said, noticing that his little joke had come and gone without so much as a smirk from his boyfriend.
“I’m scared to go back to sleep …” Tyler sheepishly admitted, not wanting to shift his gaze to meet Josh’s eyes at this point because he felt embarrassed to be afraid to sleep.
“Is it because you think Blurryface will come back TyJo?” Josh asked gently, not wanting to cause a frenzy of panic and fear.
“Y-yeah …” Tyler whispered in response.
“How ‘bout I sleep with you then, so that you know I’m right beside you and I’ve got you no matter what. Do you think that might work Ty?” Josh tried softly, wrapping his big strong arms around the smaller human.
“Would you Jish?” Tyler asked, finally making eye contact.
“Of course I will Ty, anything for you remember? And besides, how could I say no to those cute puppy eyes haha!” Josh played, getting up from his spot on the couch and picking up his share of the blankets and heading upstairs towards the bedrooms. Tyler closely followed suit like a puppy. Once Josh had rearranged the spare bedroom to accommodate the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ he got in and invited Tyler to come snuggle in the warmth. Tyler obliged willingly and soon he was falling into sleep, Josh’s soothing humming and rubbing of his back lulling him into a safe and warm environment of peace.
But it didn’t remain at peace for long, because all around Tyler a cackling of a homicidal maniac rang out and deafened Tyler. It sharply changed from cackling to the sounds of nails scratching against a blackboard that began echoing throughout the disrupted peaceful world Tyler created and Tyler covered his ears in fruitless attempts to block out the horrid sounds. Then as if by magic of a dark and twisted kind, the ‘walls’ of his created peaceful world were ripped to shreds as Blurryface tried to break through. First it was his blood dried talons that could be seen, shredding the fabrics of the peaceful world. Then as the tears got bigger, Tyler could see into the cavity that was behind his peaceful world. He could see glimmers of light shining from somewhere above. But this wasn’t light so to speak, it didn’t look like a normal light … It was sick, like someone had poisoned the source of light and now all that was coming down from above was the result of the poison … A pale and cold light, harbouring no warmth, only cold …
“Welcome Tyler Robert Joseph, to my world …” Blurryface cooed at Tyler, his voice seeming to echo and chant back, constantly repeating the words: “… my world …” in a taunting and jeering manner.
Blurryface’s arms came out of nowhere and completely tore through into the peaceful world and grabbed Tyler by the throat, and pulled him (more like dragged him) into the darkness that Blurryface had inhabited. Tyler struggled but there was nothing he could do.
“Such petty attempts at freedom do not go unpunished my child … Remember?”
Tyler was suddenly dropped and Blurryface’s arms vanished again into the darkness. Blurryface then stitched the wall fabrics back together … Sealing Tyler in this new dimension he no longer wished to stay in. The darkness was penetrating Tyler … Piercing him in the worst kind of way all over … He could control it … He felt like someone was stabbing him with multiple different blades of pure cold …
“Hmm … Looks like I’d better tidy up the place eh Tyler? I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon … Especially in my own home now hahaha!”
The surroundings immediately shifted and retracted into a room and standing in the centre was Blurryface, holding a big duffle bag. Tyler’s panicked eyes went first from Blurryface to the duffle bag he was holding over his shoulders … It looked big … Too big …
“Oh I guess you’re wondering what I got ‘ere in this big old duffle baggy eh? Well I’ll show you then shall I my child?”
Upon saying the taunting words Blurryface tossed the duffle bag with ease towards Tyler, who immediately flinched and retreated away. The bag was slightly unzipped and upon rolling to a halt the gap from the unzipped bag allowed a hand to come out, but it didn’t move. Tyler didn’t want to know what Blurryface had in that bag, but Blurryface wouldn’t have anything of it.
“Oh don’t be afraid child … It’s just your most prized possession that’s all …”
Upon hearing Blurryface say those chilling words Tyler gasped and ran to the bag, ripping it open to reveal his bloodied and beaten boyfriend. Josh’s face was cut and bleeding everywhere, his hair a tangled mess of dried blood. There was a rope tied around his throat and it was secured by a metal clasp to ensure it wouldn’t be removed. His shirt had been taken off and his chest had words carved into it in intricate patterns, something only Blurryface would be able to do. The words were hard to make out but Blurryface read them out to him to make sure he understood what he had done to Tyler’s precious Joshua William Dun.
“The words are pathetic, useless, stupid, waste, unneeded, unloved, and dead … I’m sorry my handwriting is not up to par of late my child …”
Tyler knew that Blurryface was referring to him ... And he carved those words into his boyfriend to taunt him even more ... He looked at the rest of his boyfriend’s mangled body, his arms had been slashed and cut, same with his legs. His hands and feet were bound, or they were but the ropes on the hands had come undone due to the throwing of the duffle towards Tyler. Tyler had seen enough and he didn’t want to see anything more.
“It’s not real, that’s not Josh …” Tyler began, trying to force himself to believe that it wasn’t real.
“Oh but it is my dear child …”
Blurryface appeared beside the duffle bag and went to grab Josh’s body, but Tyler wouldn’t let him. Tyler lunged at Blurryface and screamed.
“NO! NO! NO! STAY AWAY! GET AWAY FROM HIM! DON’T TOUCH HIM! NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! NOOO! JOSH HELP!!”
“Tyler! Wake up!” Josh yelled, shaking Tyler to try and snap him awake. Josh had been woken up slightly by Tyler stirring in his sleep, shifting and moving around in his arms. Josh had watched for a little while, wondering what was happening in Tyler’s dream before the male started to scream and fight. He was panicked and frightened and Josh needed to get Tyler out of there. Eventually Tyler woke up with a start and screamed again for Josh, who was right beside him.
“Hey shh it’s okay Ty I’m right here beside you … Nothing’s gonna hurt you I’m here, there’s nothing here it’s just us in our ‘Fortress of Comfy’ sweetheart I promise.” Josh whispered to the shivering male who, upon realising that it was all in fact a horrible nightmare, had curled himself tightly into Josh’s warm embrace and cried. After half an hour Tyler had calmed down again and was able to stop clutching on to Josh’s frame for life.
“I’m sorry Jish, I didn’t mean to wake you up …”
“No it’s fine, besides you needed me to wake you up otherwise you would have been stuck there … And by what was happening out here I didn’t think that was a good place to be …”
“Yeah … Not really …”
“Was it Blurryface Ty?” Josh asked quietly, knowing the answer.
“Yeah …” Tyler whispered in a shaky voice.
“You want some chocolate?” Josh offered.
“Why would I want chocolate Jishy?”
“Because chocolate is a comfort food, it’s sweet and nice and tastes amazing, and it makes people feel better.”
“Oh … I dunno if I have any Josh …”
“Then you can have some of mine.”
“You have chocolate??”
“Well yeah! I carry it in my bag.”
“That’s gross Jishwa!”
“No it’s not I bought it two days ago it hasn’t gone off or anything!!”
“It’s fine Jish I’m not hungry anyway …”
“Well how about a shower then?”
“Why would I want a shower Josh I’m not dirty I’ve been sleeping in a bed!!”
“Yeah but warm showers are nice and warm …”
“Well I’d kinda hope they’d be warm if they’re called warm showers Josh!”
“Yeah well they’re also good for refreshing yourself and relaxing Tyler.”
“Since when did you become so smart Joshua William Dun?”
“Oh I dunno maybe it’s just a gift Tyler Robert Joseph.”
The boys laughed at their own silliness and Josh was glad that Tyler was feeling well enough to crack a couple of jokes and laugh at them. After a little more cuddling Josh got up from the bed and started to walk out the bedroom door.
“Hey where you going?”
“I’m going to get some chocolate for you.”
“But Josh I’m not hungry.”
“Well then I’ll eat it! Or we could have a shower first?”
“Wait huh? You were being serious?”
“Yeah, besides I’m not tired or sleepy anymore so I won’t be able to go back to sleep so I may as well.”
“Oh … Sorry Jish … I really didn’t mean to wake you up and stop you sleeping …”
“Hey,” Josh began, coming back over to where Tyler was snuggled up in the covers, “It’s not your fault okay? Don’t beat yourself up over it. Besides, I don’t usually sleep very well either … This is normal for me.”
“Oh okay … Well I guess I don’t really wanna go to sleep either so maybe having a shower would be a good idea …”
“And then I can make you breakfast.”
“Aw Josh you don’t have to besides I’m not-”
“I know you’re not hungry but still you should eat something … Even if it’s just one tiny bite of my food it’s good for you … It’ll make you feel better too.”
“Well fine then … I’ll try eat something for you.”
“You wanna have a shower first?”
“Um … Okay sure …”
Tyler crawled out of the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ and went to his bedroom to find some more clothes to wear. After finding some comfy ‘home’ clothes he made to the bathroom to find that Josh had already beat him there, half dressed.
“Oh sorry Jish, I’ll go find you some more clothes and use the other bathroom.”
“Aww … You don’t want to share with your boyfriend?” Josh pouted at Tyler, making his eyes as big as possible.
“Ah Jish stop that! No you shower and I’ll go find you some clothes.” Tyler replied, his face flushed.
“Hey I was kidding right?” Josh said, just to make sure he didn’t cross any lines with Tyler.
“Yeah I know.” Tyler smiled, before making off to the spare bedroom. Once he had secured some decent comfy clothes for his boyfriend he made his way back to the bathroom and walked in.
“Oh thanks for the clothes Ty, I’ll wash them when I go home again so they’re nice and clean for you.”
“No problem … Imma go shower now.”
Whilst showering Tyler though about what Josh had said, “… when I go home again …” and got upset. Tyler forgot that they both had their own houses that they inhabited. And then he remembered that they had their parents to tell … What’s mom gonna think about me dating Josh? What will dad think? Will Zac hate me for being homosexual? Tyler’s head was a mess. He didn’t want to live alone anymore. He wanted to tell his family, because that’s what you do, but he didn’t want them to disapprove of his choice of partner. He didn’t want to cause any problems with Josh and his family either. And he didn’t want to get on the bad side of Zac because he was family.
“Tyler? You done yet?” Josh called from the other side of the door, snapping Tyler out of his train of thought.
“Uh … N-not really Josh sorry.” Tyler didn’t realise that he had been sobbing out loud … Or that he was taking forever in the bathroom.
“You okay Ty?” Josh asked, pushing the door open a little more.
“N-not really Josh …”
“Do you want me to come in Ty?”
“Yes please, hang on a sec.” Tyler shut the water off, got out, and wrapped himself in a towel. “Okay I’m decent enough.”
“Hey, what’s wrong Ty?” Josh said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.
“It’s just that I was thinking about what you said, about you going home and stuff, and I don’t really want to live alone anymore … Which is stupid because I’ve done it for so long … And I don’t really know what to say to our families, because we should tell them … And I don’t know what mom or dad will think, and I know that I’ll make Zac mad when I tell him because he doesn’t like homosexuals … And I don’t want to cause any trouble with you and your family …”
“Hey, I don’t care what my family think about my choices, even if they weren’t already supporting it.”
“Wait … You already told your parents?”
“Not really, I told them that I really liked you and they’re fine with it … But I haven’t actually told them you and I are dating yet … I kinda wanted them to meet you and then tell them … But I don’t think your parents will have a big problem with it considering I asked them if I could date you a couple weeks back …”
“Wait you asked my parents for permission if you could date me?”
“Well yeah! I mean I thought it would be a good idea, just in case and stuff … One of your brothers doesn’t like me though. He overheard the conversation I was having and on my way out from talking with your parents he took me aside and scolded me for liking you when I was a male and all that shit … I forget his name though …”
“That would be Zac, he doesn’t like homosexuals or anything of that sort unless it’s straight male to female relationships … He doesn’t like people changing genders either …”
“Well that’s too bad for him because you’re my boyfriend and I love you and he’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Haha … Oh Jish, you’re funny.”
“I know I am, now hurry up and get dry I wanna take you to meet my parents.”
“Wait TODAY JOSH??”
“Well yeah, they won’t mind …”
“Uh … Hey TyJo, um … Where’s your radio??”
“Oh … It got stolen a little while back …”
“So what do you do if you’re not listening to music in the car, play I-Spy?”
“No … I kinda just sit in silence … I haven’t really bothered to replace it yet … But I will eventually. Anyway we’re here so get out and get your stuff.”
“Huh? Tyler, this is the edge of the forest?”
“I know.” With that Tyler turned off the car and got out, grabbing is pack and blankets in the process. He then started walking toward the edge of the tree line before he finally turned around to face Josh. “You coming or what?”
“Okay … Whatever you say Ty!” Josh said, laughing and then following the skinny male into the trees. Josh knew that Tyler liked to climb around and play amongst the trees, but this time something was different. Instead of jumping around and starting to try climb trees, Tyler was carefully walking around the trees. His eyes were scanning the tree trunks, as if he was looking for a specific tree or something on a tree. “What you looking for Ty?”
“A tree …” The younger man trailed off, not really focusing on Josh’s question and more focusing on the trees.
“Well … I can see about 394 out here …” Josh stated, trying to break Tyler’s concentration to get more of a clear and straightforward answer from him. It worked.
“That’s a bit of a specific number there Jishy … Where’d you pull that one from?” Tyler deadpanned at Josh, turning to face the brightly coloured hair that was popping out from behind a tree. Then Tyler stopped and thought … “Did you seriously pull a Snape on me?”
Josh laughed at him, “Yes that’s where I got the number … I’ve been wanting to use that line for ages and I’ve never had the chance to!” Both men laughed at Josh’s four year old nature. “But seriously Ty, what you looking for?”
“Something …”
“Can I help you?”
“Do you know what you would be looking for?”
“No.”
“Well there you go.”
“Could you tell me?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s part of the surprise that I planned for today silly! If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore would it?”
“I guess not …” At that Tyler went back to searching the tree trunks for something he just didn’t seem to be able to reach … And Josh went back to observing the surroundings that Tyler had brought him to. Sometime later Josh had lost sight of Tyler and had started to climb the trees before he heard Tyler yell out his name. In no time Josh had located the source of the yell and found Tyler standing in front of a tree, hiding the base of it from Josh.
“Jeez Ty, I thought you were in trouble or something …”
“Oh … I’m sorry Jish … I didn’t mean to scare you like that …” Tyler began, his eyes going from happy and bright to sad and sorry.
“Aw don’t be so hard on yourself it’s fine I know you’re okay and that’s all that matters.” Josh smiled at Tyler, trying to bring back the happiness he saw. “Anyway what did you want?”
“Oh … Well I found what I was looking for!” Tyler exclaimed, becoming happy and bubbly again.
“Well, aren’t you gonna show me?”
“Yeah …” Tyler moved out of the way and sat next to the base of the tree, revealing what he was hiding. Josh sat down in front of the base and tried to comprehend what Tyler was showing him.
It was a carving that had looked like it was done years ago. The carving read:
TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH’S FRIEND LIST:
BLURRYFACE
And that was it … No other name was there … Not even a scratched out name … Just … Blurryface.
“Who’s Blurryface Ty?”
"Oh ... He's someone bad that I used to ... Know ... But he's gone now ... He has been for a while ... He's not my friend anymore ..." Tyler started, trying to explain in the best way possible to not let Josh know about who Blurryface really was ... He didn't want to scare off Josh, his only friend that hasn't run away or thought he was weird ... The only person that truly accepted him for the little human he was. The other band members that left him were okay, but they still didn't try and include Tyler in everything or anything outside the band for that matter ... But Josh did, and Josh for some reason has this massive effect on Tyler. Ty still didn't know what it was yet, he thought it might be that Josh was very fond of Tyler ... And visa versa ... But now Tyler was beginning to think it might be something stronger ... Something bigger than just being fond of Josh, more that affection ... Something bigger that Tyler hadn't experienced before.
"Hey ... Are you okay? With me knowing about this guy and all ... I mean you don't have to tell me anything at all ... And you kinda look as if even the thought or mention of this name hurts you ..." Josh said, observing the sudden change in Tyler's behaviour and getting very worried about him. Josh will admit it ... He liked Tyler, he knew it. Tyler had this effect on him and it held him like gravity hold us all to the Earth ... And he didn't want to do anything to make Tyler uncomfortable or hurt ... He would never want that.
"Yeah ... He's ... It's ... K-kinda a long long story ... And ... I dunno Josh ... Nobody ever understood it ... Ever ..." Tyler responded, getting upset, "Not even my parents ..." he added quietly.
"Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to okay? I'm not making you, and if you don't wanna talk about it then say so and I'll come up with something else to take your mind off this ... Hey?" Josh said soothingly to the upset boy. Josh crawled over to where Tyler was on the ground and wrapped his arms around him, wanting to protect him from whatever it was that was clearly upsetting him.
"What are you doing Josh?" Tyler said, slightly muffled in Josh's arms.
"I'm hugging you Ty ..."
"Why?"
"Because hugs are great, and they make people feel better. It's also scientifically proven to help release the happy hormone inside your brain, making you feel calm and safe and happy ... Also because I give the best hugs in the world!" Josh said, smiling at the last joke he made, trying to get Tyler to smile and laugh.
"Hehe ... I didn't know you liked Science and all that stuff Jishy?" Tyler said, looking up at Josh.
"Yeah nah I'm not actually ... I just remember getting told that from somewhere ... I dunno it could be made up but it sounds pretty sciency to me so I believe it ... Besides it gives me an educational excuse to hug you!" Josh stated defiantly, sticking his tongue out at Tyler.
"You actually do give good hugs." Tyler said, smiling into Josh and allowing the older boy to tighten his hold and bring them closer together. After another 20 minutes hugging at the base of the tree Josh spoke.
"You feel any better yet TyJo?"
"Yeah ... I do ... But I still wanna tell you about the tree and why I brought you here to see it ..."
"Alright ... But do it in your own time okay? We've got all the time in the world to spare and I got no plans for the rest of the week so take as long as you need 'kay?"
"Really Josh, the rest of the week? You trying to imply something buddy?" Tyler jokingly argued, pretending to be offended.
"No ... I'm just saying I've got nothing to do except sit here and listen to you speak."
"Alright then ... Well, I don't really know where to start ..."
"How about the beginning?"
"Ha ha. Very funny ..."
"Sorry, I'll let you continue."
"Thanks ... Well, I guess ... Can you just promise me one thing please Josh?" Tyler pleaded, looking up into Josh's eyes.
"Anything Ty."
"Promise not to leave me ... Or get scared or something like that or think-"
"I will never think anything less of you than what I do now ... And I think you are one of the most awesome people I've ever met and I would trade everything just to continue being your friend forever."
"Aw ... Okay then ... Thanks, it means a lot to me ... Well then ... I never had any friends, I was home-schooled so I didn't have to go and play with kids or anything ... But eventually I grew up and wanted a friend, and so somehow I got a friend and his name is Blurryface. I thought he was great but I didn't really realise at that time that he was in my head and that he was my imaginary friend ... And he was okay, but as I got older he told me and convinced me to do things that were wrong and that I shouldn't do. And I trusted him, so I did as he told me to all the time. Eventually I got my Basketball scholarship and I went to collage for it ... And then I got bullied and stuff because I was weird and I talked to myself and stuff ... And they bullied me every day and every chance that they got ... But afterwards Blurryface was there and he helped make me feel better and helped fix me up again.” Tyler explained, slightly pained.
“Eventually I began to believe every single thing he told me ... And I would do anything and I believed everything ... And it was all okay, except I was being naughty and doing the wrong things ... But then Blurryface decided he, instead of being nice to me, was going to torment me ... He started going from being a nice person to being my biggest nightmare ... Except I couldn't wake up from it ... I was trapped with him and I couldn't stop listening to everything he said ... And eventually that lead down to me becoming depressed and suicidal and I tried so many times like Blurryface told me to ... My parents were so confused and upset and didn't know what was going on ... And then I tried hanging myself like Blurry told me to but I couldn't tie the knots properly, so I fell and broke my arm ... I was taken to hospital and my parents requested that I had psychologists and psychiatrists assess me and they gave me this medication that I still have to take every day ...” Tyler continued, starting to cry.
“Hey shhh, It’s okay, I’m here and I’m not letting you go I promise.” Josh whispered to the sad and lonely male, holding him closer and putting his head on Tyler’s. “Just take your time I’ll wait.”
“Okay … Um … Well … The medicine didn’t work properly … I was on a weak one at the start but then after a week Blurryface came back and he looked different … At first he was kinda dull and bland but after the medication he came back a little more deranged … He wasn’t entirely the same as he was before, he was more violent and crazed … His eyes were glowing amber red and he was moving kinda funny … He came back and he was really really mad at me for taking the meds … He hurt me again … Really badly … So I got taken to hospital again and they gave me really strong meds … And I didn’t want to take them because I was scared of Blurryface coming back even worse … Or having him mad at me again … So I refused to take them but the doctors were sneaky and forced me to take them through my food and my water … And then I woke up and he wasn’t there … Blurryface was gone again …” Tyler explained, still shaking and noticeable upset by the whole ordeal and remembering it all again in vivid detail. Josh continued to hug the poor male and cooed at him every now and then to try and help sooth him and calm him down where the story got really bad.
“I was really scared that the medicine wasn’t going to work again … But I was still in hospital so they kept giving the medicine to me in my food and stuff … And then eventually after a while they said I was fine to be released … So they released me but told me that I needed to continue taking the meds otherwise it would get worse again … So I did and I haven’t seen Blurryface or heard his faint cackle or anything … I eventually got a little better aside from the Blurryface thing, being a little more social and that kinda stuff, and then I found the others and made the band and you know the rest form there … But they didn’t really include me in anything outside of the band you know? They were there to make music and perform and stuff but other parties or social events that they got invites to or were hosting, they never mention it to me or ask if I want to come or anything …” Tyler pressed on, starting to get more nervous as he was coming up to the part that today was all about. Josh sat patiently like a puppy.
“A-a-and you don’t do that to me … Y-you include me in o-other stuff … You don’t just l-leave m-me … You ask me if I want to come to parties or things that you get invited to even though the people who invited you have probably no real idea who I am … You always ask me if I’m okay … You always ask if I want to come and hang out with you and some friends … You even ask if we can just hang out, just us … A-a-and nobody’s really done that for me before you … A-a-and I … I think th-that … You’re … Um …” Tyler started to trail off, not knowing whether or not he wanted to continue with this. What if Josh didn’t feel the same way? What if I was just being stupid? Tyler’s mind wasn’t helping him at all. Josh then spoke up.
"Yeah, it's cool, I'll be okay"
I felt your pain wash over me
I dry your eyes and hide my shakes
I hate that look that’s on your face
“Look, Ty. You don’t have to tell me everything okay? I’m cool with not knowing everything that’s going on for you in your personal life. I didn’t realise you were having such a hard time and if I had have known … I probably wouldn’t have tried to push you into doing things so often … And I would’ve been a better friend to you … I’m so sorry that I didn’t realise I wasn’t helping you I really am-“ Josh began, getting upset because he thought that he had made things worse for Tyler … But Tyler cut him off.
“No no no no Jish that’s not what I’m saying … I’m trying to say something that I’ve never felt before or said to anyone else every … I just don’t know how to say it or if I should because I don’t want to lose you … You’ve made everything better for me … You’re my air catcher and I need you … You’ve made me genuinely smile so many times a day I never thought it was possible, you’ve made me feel happy and wanted and loved and needed and accepted. Truly accepted, not just as part of the band but as a part of your personal life too. I feel complete … I feel safe and warm and above all I feel okay with you … I feel like I’ve found something that I’ve been needing more than ever and I didn’t realise it much before last night … But now that I’ve realised what you mean to me … I … I really don’t want to lose you … A-a-and I-I don’t think I’d do so well in life or anything without you anymore …” Tyler began to cry again, sobbing into Josh’s shoulder as his heart and brain threw everything up.
“Tyler, I … Was that what you were mumbling about last night? Because I woke up and went to the bathroom and on my way back I heard you mumbling stuff …” Josh said sheepishly, not wanting to be intrusive of an already turned to jelly Tyler.
“Yeah it was … Blurryface … He … He came back Josh … He came back and he was even worse than the last time … He was all hazy and fizzing in and out … Like the snow on a badly tuned TV … His eyes were burning even brighter red, like they were gateways to the most painful depths of hell … And his hands weren’t human … They were sharp jagged claws with talons for fingernails … And he was completely covered head to toe in dried, crystallised blood … But it didn’t look like human blood … It was sick, like it was diseased … It was crimson and black … And his feet and toes had the same jagged caw talon things breaking out from the tops of his shoes … And he said horrible things Josh, he said that I would be in a lot of trouble later on for taking the meds and being happy again because he was gone … It was like he was always there in the back of my mind, reading everything that happened to me … And he was talking to me … You were there too … And he was saying that because hurting me wasn’t causing enough pain anymore, he was going to take away something that meant everything to me … And he explained it so perfectly … It was horrible … He …” At this point Tyler couldn’t take it anymore and he completely broke down and cried, and Josh let him. Tyler cried harder than he had ever cried before and Josh was there. Josh held on to Tyler tighter and let the scared male shower him in salty waves of pain and fear. All the while Josh was rubbing small circles on Tyler’s small skeleton and it was soothing to Tyler. Tyler felt safe and secure, warm and protected. But most importantly he felt like he was loved and cared for, not that his parents never did that, they loved and cared for him too … But this was a different kind of feeling that Tyler had never experienced before and he liked it and he didn’t want it to go away … More importantly, Tyler needed this feeling to keep him alive … Tyler needed this … Josh gave this … Tyler needed Josh … When Tyler had calmed down enough to speak again he continued his story …
“Okay … Blurryface described the one thing that I needed to be happy and the one thing that I loved … And I didn’t even know what it was yet but I knew I couldn’t lose it … And it’s you Josh …” Tyler ended, looking up into Josh’s eyes with his own, pleading silently that he understood and that he wouldn’t leave … Josh was shocked that Tyler felt this way … Josh knew he liked Tyler and he knew that Tyler had demons … But he never knew that he helped make Tyler feel better on this level …
“Ty … I didn’t know … I didn’t know that I made you feel like this …” Josh didn’t know how to word what his mind was screaming for him to say … And Tyler cut him off.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way because I get that and all and I don’t even know why I told you I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything …” Tyler began rambling, feeling like he had destroyed the friendship between them but he was stopped short of his rambling when he felt soft lips upon his own. He was shocked and opened his eyes to see Josh’s own looking at him as the kiss ended.
“I’m sorry but I needed to make you stop … Because none of that is true … And I also didn’t know how to put my mind into words for you so yeah … That kinda was how my brain said to do it … I’m sorry hehe …” Josh trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck and staring down towards the tree roots because he was nervous and awkward.
“I didn’t think you-“
“Liked you in that way? Well … Yeah I do … I can see that you’ve never really been social and I wanted to make you feel included and well … You never really smile so I try to make you smile as much as I can … And I try to make you as happy and everything else … And I really like you … A lot …” Josh trailed off again, blushing.
“Y-you like me Jishy? In that way?” Tyler questioned, needing to know the truth.
“Yes Tyler, I like you and I don’t want you to be alone anymore … I wanna be with you and be the person you can fall back on when things don’t work … I wanna be with you.”
“Really?” Tyler asked in a small voice.
“Really really.”
“Aw come on! Shrek, really? At a time like this???” Tyler laughed with Josh.
“Eh, why not? It made you smile and laugh!” The boys, still cuddling in the cold, laughed for ages until Josh spoke up again. “But I have a serious question for you now Ty …”
“Yeah Jish?” Tyler pressed, feeling a little anxious again at what the question could be.
“Do you really want me to be with you? Properly I mean … Like … Y-your … Um … Your boyfriend?” Josh asked, slightly worried because he really didn’t want to freak Ty out and he really didn’t want the answer to be no.
“If you want to stay and you’re not afraid of the stuff I just told you …” Tyler said unsure.
“What is there to be afraid of? Besides it doesn’t matter to me as long as I know you’re happy then I’m happy.” Josh replied sincerely. “Of course if that means I can kiss you and cuddle you more then that’s fine by me hahaha!” Josh added to the end, knowing that it was an acceptable joke to make because Tyler seemed comfortable with the idea. Tyler laughed with him.
“Well if you’re going to cuddle me like this then I guess you’ll have to stay hahaha!” Tyler replied, still laughing at Josh.
“So … Does this mean I’m your boyfriend?” Josh said, trying to clarify because he needed it.
“Only if I can be yours Jishwa.” Tyler answered honestly before nervously pressing his cold lips to Josh’s warm ones. Josh happily replied by kissing Tyler back, his lips sharing and spreading their warmth with Tyler’s. After a little bit they broke apart. Josh was first to speak.
“I think we should do something about this tree eh Tyler?” He said, pulling out his pocket knife and flicking open the blade. He looked from the tree to Tyler, looking for approval to continue. Tyler nodded in consent. After a good hour of carving Josh was done his masterpiece … And he was all sweaty too. Tyler’s friend list now read:
TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH’S FRIEND LIST:
--B-L-U-R-R-Y-F-A-C-E--
JOSHUA WILLIAM DUN
Tyler inspected it. Then spoke to Josh.
“It’s perfect Jishy, thank you so much. You’ve made everything better the day I saw you and now everything is perfect.”
“Well it’s not perfect just yet …”
“What do you mean Jishwa?” Tyler pressed, not wanting anything to ruin this moment of pure bliss.
“Well, for one I’m hungry and I want Tacos … And two I’m all stinky and sweaty from the carving … And three I’m not all warm and snuggled in a pile of pillows and blankets with my favourite human in the world watching his favourite movie.” Josh replied cheekily, jesting.
“Well that can be arranged.” Tyler said happily, relieved that it wasn’t anything really serious.
After packing up their gear and getting back into the car Tyler drove back to his house and told Josh to go have a shower and he’ll order the Taco Bell. By the time Josh got out of the shower and had properly dried off (Tyler had made him redo it twice because he was dripping wet after he came out both times) the Taco Bell order was here and prepared for devouring.
“Mmm smells amazing TyJo! Oh I didn’t tell you what I wanted oh sorry …”
“Nah it’s okay I just ordered what you had last time … Seems lie you’re a regular there so they knew what you wanted anyway which made it easier …”
“Ah well yeah I kinda do eat there a fair bit … Hehehe … Thank you Tyler.”
“No worries Josh, now eat it or I will!”
Both males ate their food calmly, talking idly about whatever popped up on their minds. For the first time in forever Tyler was actually comfortable with idle chat. He had never been good with small talk or just talking about whatever came up on his mind. But now things had changed for the good for once, and he was finding it a million times easier to just discuss whatever popped up in his mind. And Josh noticed it, and was happy that Tyler finally found someone he could be relaxed and easy going around. After they finished their food, Josh offered to clear away the plates and cutlery that they had used for the meal, whilst Tyler prepared the living room.
“Hey Ty where’d you go?”
“In here Jishwa!” Tyler called in response from the living room, TV remote in hand and already snuggled and comfy in the mountain of pillows and blankets he had arranged on his couch. “Come snuggle me Jishy!!”
Josh came out into the living room and found the scene Tyler had made and smiled, then snuggled in the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ as they now call it and cuddled Tyler. Ty flicked on the TV and pushed play on his VCR of choice. It was ‘The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring’ and Josh smiled because he also enjoyed the works of J.R.R.Tolkien.
“Do you like it Jishwa?” Tyler asked in a small voice, muffled by the covers and the beautiful soundtrack arrangement by the master of music scores Howard Shore.
Josh was confused, then it came to him. Tyler actually went out of his way to make this happen for me … All because I said that this would make the moment absolutely perfect to me … He responded: “It’s perfect Ty, thank you … … … I love you.” He added to the end, nuzzling into the crook of Tyler’s neck and planted soft small kissed every now and then as the movie continued. When Gandalf died Tyler had someone to cry with, because both full grown males died a little inside when Gandalf said: “Fly you fools!” and fell into the abys with the Balrog. By the end though Josh noticed that Tyler was struggling to stay awake so he suggested that they call it a night and go to bed.
“I’m not sleepy Jish I yawn I swear!”
“Tyler, you can barely keep your eyes open and you’re yawning every three seconds! What’s wrong?” Josh said, noticing that his little joke had come and gone without so much as a smirk from his boyfriend.
“I’m scared to go back to sleep …” Tyler sheepishly admitted, not wanting to shift his gaze to meet Josh’s eyes at this point because he felt embarrassed to be afraid to sleep.
“Is it because you think Blurryface will come back TyJo?” Josh asked gently, not wanting to cause a frenzy of panic and fear.
“Y-yeah …” Tyler whispered in response.
“How ‘bout I sleep with you then, so that you know I’m right beside you and I’ve got you no matter what. Do you think that might work Ty?” Josh tried softly, wrapping his big strong arms around the smaller human.
“Would you Jish?” Tyler asked, finally making eye contact.
“Of course I will Ty, anything for you remember? And besides, how could I say no to those cute puppy eyes haha!” Josh played, getting up from his spot on the couch and picking up his share of the blankets and heading upstairs towards the bedrooms. Tyler closely followed suit like a puppy. Once Josh had rearranged the spare bedroom to accommodate the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ he got in and invited Tyler to come snuggle in the warmth. Tyler obliged willingly and soon he was falling into sleep, Josh’s soothing humming and rubbing of his back lulling him into a safe and warm environment of peace.
But it didn’t remain at peace for long, because all around Tyler a cackling of a homicidal maniac rang out and deafened Tyler. It sharply changed from cackling to the sounds of nails scratching against a blackboard that began echoing throughout the disrupted peaceful world Tyler created and Tyler covered his ears in fruitless attempts to block out the horrid sounds. Then as if by magic of a dark and twisted kind, the ‘walls’ of his created peaceful world were ripped to shreds as Blurryface tried to break through. First it was his blood dried talons that could be seen, shredding the fabrics of the peaceful world. Then as the tears got bigger, Tyler could see into the cavity that was behind his peaceful world. He could see glimmers of light shining from somewhere above. But this wasn’t light so to speak, it didn’t look like a normal light … It was sick, like someone had poisoned the source of light and now all that was coming down from above was the result of the poison … A pale and cold light, harbouring no warmth, only cold …
“Welcome Tyler Robert Joseph, to my world …” Blurryface cooed at Tyler, his voice seeming to echo and chant back, constantly repeating the words: “… my world …” in a taunting and jeering manner.
Blurryface’s arms came out of nowhere and completely tore through into the peaceful world and grabbed Tyler by the throat, and pulled him (more like dragged him) into the darkness that Blurryface had inhabited. Tyler struggled but there was nothing he could do.
“Such petty attempts at freedom do not go unpunished my child … Remember?”
Tyler was suddenly dropped and Blurryface’s arms vanished again into the darkness. Blurryface then stitched the wall fabrics back together … Sealing Tyler in this new dimension he no longer wished to stay in. The darkness was penetrating Tyler … Piercing him in the worst kind of way all over … He could control it … He felt like someone was stabbing him with multiple different blades of pure cold …
“Hmm … Looks like I’d better tidy up the place eh Tyler? I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon … Especially in my own home now hahaha!”
The surroundings immediately shifted and retracted into a room and standing in the centre was Blurryface, holding a big duffle bag. Tyler’s panicked eyes went first from Blurryface to the duffle bag he was holding over his shoulders … It looked big … Too big …
“Oh I guess you’re wondering what I got ‘ere in this big old duffle baggy eh? Well I’ll show you then shall I my child?”
Upon saying the taunting words Blurryface tossed the duffle bag with ease towards Tyler, who immediately flinched and retreated away. The bag was slightly unzipped and upon rolling to a halt the gap from the unzipped bag allowed a hand to come out, but it didn’t move. Tyler didn’t want to know what Blurryface had in that bag, but Blurryface wouldn’t have anything of it.
“Oh don’t be afraid child … It’s just your most prized possession that’s all …”
Upon hearing Blurryface say those chilling words Tyler gasped and ran to the bag, ripping it open to reveal his bloodied and beaten boyfriend. Josh’s face was cut and bleeding everywhere, his hair a tangled mess of dried blood. There was a rope tied around his throat and it was secured by a metal clasp to ensure it wouldn’t be removed. His shirt had been taken off and his chest had words carved into it in intricate patterns, something only Blurryface would be able to do. The words were hard to make out but Blurryface read them out to him to make sure he understood what he had done to Tyler’s precious Joshua William Dun.
“The words are pathetic, useless, stupid, waste, unneeded, unloved, and dead … I’m sorry my handwriting is not up to par of late my child …”
Tyler knew that Blurryface was referring to him ... And he carved those words into his boyfriend to taunt him even more ... He looked at the rest of his boyfriend’s mangled body, his arms had been slashed and cut, same with his legs. His hands and feet were bound, or they were but the ropes on the hands had come undone due to the throwing of the duffle towards Tyler. Tyler had seen enough and he didn’t want to see anything more.
“It’s not real, that’s not Josh …” Tyler began, trying to force himself to believe that it wasn’t real.
“Oh but it is my dear child …”
Blurryface appeared beside the duffle bag and went to grab Josh’s body, but Tyler wouldn’t let him. Tyler lunged at Blurryface and screamed.
“NO! NO! NO! STAY AWAY! GET AWAY FROM HIM! DON’T TOUCH HIM! NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! NOOO! JOSH HELP!!”
“Tyler! Wake up!” Josh yelled, shaking Tyler to try and snap him awake. Josh had been woken up slightly by Tyler stirring in his sleep, shifting and moving around in his arms. Josh had watched for a little while, wondering what was happening in Tyler’s dream before the male started to scream and fight. He was panicked and frightened and Josh needed to get Tyler out of there. Eventually Tyler woke up with a start and screamed again for Josh, who was right beside him.
“Hey shh it’s okay Ty I’m right here beside you … Nothing’s gonna hurt you I’m here, there’s nothing here it’s just us in our ‘Fortress of Comfy’ sweetheart I promise.” Josh whispered to the shivering male who, upon realising that it was all in fact a horrible nightmare, had curled himself tightly into Josh’s warm embrace and cried. After half an hour Tyler had calmed down again and was able to stop clutching on to Josh’s frame for life.
“I’m sorry Jish, I didn’t mean to wake you up …”
“No it’s fine, besides you needed me to wake you up otherwise you would have been stuck there … And by what was happening out here I didn’t think that was a good place to be …”
“Yeah … Not really …”
“Was it Blurryface Ty?” Josh asked quietly, knowing the answer.
“Yeah …” Tyler whispered in a shaky voice.
“You want some chocolate?” Josh offered.
“Why would I want chocolate Jishy?”
“Because chocolate is a comfort food, it’s sweet and nice and tastes amazing, and it makes people feel better.”
“Oh … I dunno if I have any Josh …”
“Then you can have some of mine.”
“You have chocolate??”
“Well yeah! I carry it in my bag.”
“That’s gross Jishwa!”
“No it’s not I bought it two days ago it hasn’t gone off or anything!!”
“It’s fine Jish I’m not hungry anyway …”
“Well how about a shower then?”
“Why would I want a shower Josh I’m not dirty I’ve been sleeping in a bed!!”
“Yeah but warm showers are nice and warm …”
“Well I’d kinda hope they’d be warm if they’re called warm showers Josh!”
“Yeah well they’re also good for refreshing yourself and relaxing Tyler.”
“Since when did you become so smart Joshua William Dun?”
“Oh I dunno maybe it’s just a gift Tyler Robert Joseph.”
The boys laughed at their own silliness and Josh was glad that Tyler was feeling well enough to crack a couple of jokes and laugh at them. After a little more cuddling Josh got up from the bed and started to walk out the bedroom door.
“Hey where you going?”
“I’m going to get some chocolate for you.”
“But Josh I’m not hungry.”
“Well then I’ll eat it! Or we could have a shower first?”
“Wait huh? You were being serious?”
“Yeah, besides I’m not tired or sleepy anymore so I won’t be able to go back to sleep so I may as well.”
“Oh … Sorry Jish … I really didn’t mean to wake you up and stop you sleeping …”
“Hey,” Josh began, coming back over to where Tyler was snuggled up in the covers, “It’s not your fault okay? Don’t beat yourself up over it. Besides, I don’t usually sleep very well either … This is normal for me.”
“Oh okay … Well I guess I don’t really wanna go to sleep either so maybe having a shower would be a good idea …”
“And then I can make you breakfast.”
“Aw Josh you don’t have to besides I’m not-”
“I know you’re not hungry but still you should eat something … Even if it’s just one tiny bite of my food it’s good for you … It’ll make you feel better too.”
“Well fine then … I’ll try eat something for you.”
“You wanna have a shower first?”
“Um … Okay sure …”
Tyler crawled out of the ‘Fortress of Comfy’ and went to his bedroom to find some more clothes to wear. After finding some comfy ‘home’ clothes he made to the bathroom to find that Josh had already beat him there, half dressed.
“Oh sorry Jish, I’ll go find you some more clothes and use the other bathroom.”
“Aww … You don’t want to share with your boyfriend?” Josh pouted at Tyler, making his eyes as big as possible.
“Ah Jish stop that! No you shower and I’ll go find you some clothes.” Tyler replied, his face flushed.
“Hey I was kidding right?” Josh said, just to make sure he didn’t cross any lines with Tyler.
“Yeah I know.” Tyler smiled, before making off to the spare bedroom. Once he had secured some decent comfy clothes for his boyfriend he made his way back to the bathroom and walked in.
“Oh thanks for the clothes Ty, I’ll wash them when I go home again so they’re nice and clean for you.”
“No problem … Imma go shower now.”
Whilst showering Tyler though about what Josh had said, “… when I go home again …” and got upset. Tyler forgot that they both had their own houses that they inhabited. And then he remembered that they had their parents to tell … What’s mom gonna think about me dating Josh? What will dad think? Will Zac hate me for being homosexual? Tyler’s head was a mess. He didn’t want to live alone anymore. He wanted to tell his family, because that’s what you do, but he didn’t want them to disapprove of his choice of partner. He didn’t want to cause any problems with Josh and his family either. And he didn’t want to get on the bad side of Zac because he was family.
“Tyler? You done yet?” Josh called from the other side of the door, snapping Tyler out of his train of thought.
“Uh … N-not really Josh sorry.” Tyler didn’t realise that he had been sobbing out loud … Or that he was taking forever in the bathroom.
“You okay Ty?” Josh asked, pushing the door open a little more.
“N-not really Josh …”
“Do you want me to come in Ty?”
“Yes please, hang on a sec.” Tyler shut the water off, got out, and wrapped himself in a towel. “Okay I’m decent enough.”
“Hey, what’s wrong Ty?” Josh said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.
“It’s just that I was thinking about what you said, about you going home and stuff, and I don’t really want to live alone anymore … Which is stupid because I’ve done it for so long … And I don’t really know what to say to our families, because we should tell them … And I don’t know what mom or dad will think, and I know that I’ll make Zac mad when I tell him because he doesn’t like homosexuals … And I don’t want to cause any trouble with you and your family …”
“Hey, I don’t care what my family think about my choices, even if they weren’t already supporting it.”
“Wait … You already told your parents?”
“Not really, I told them that I really liked you and they’re fine with it … But I haven’t actually told them you and I are dating yet … I kinda wanted them to meet you and then tell them … But I don’t think your parents will have a big problem with it considering I asked them if I could date you a couple weeks back …”
“Wait you asked my parents for permission if you could date me?”
“Well yeah! I mean I thought it would be a good idea, just in case and stuff … One of your brothers doesn’t like me though. He overheard the conversation I was having and on my way out from talking with your parents he took me aside and scolded me for liking you when I was a male and all that shit … I forget his name though …”
“That would be Zac, he doesn’t like homosexuals or anything of that sort unless it’s straight male to female relationships … He doesn’t like people changing genders either …”
“Well that’s too bad for him because you’re my boyfriend and I love you and he’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Haha … Oh Jish, you’re funny.”
“I know I am, now hurry up and get dry I wanna take you to meet my parents.”
“Wait TODAY JOSH??”
“Well yeah, they won’t mind …”
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