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I wonder what would be the most effective way of killing Dorobou. By poison? Knife? Pistol? Fire? There are so many tempting methods; it's difficult to choose just one. But then again, I'm not sure that he is even capable of being killed, so that may well be a moot point altogether.

On top of insisting that Mariku stay with us, Dorobou also took it upon himself to kick us out of the apartment until evening. His reasoning behind this was a claim that I "need to get out more," and he charged Mariku with the task of keeping an eye on me for the duration of the time in which he refused to allow us back into the apartment. The three of us know that I am not so irresponsible that I require someone to keep me out of trouble at all times, yet neither Mariku nor I had protested much at the time-whether this was because there was not time enough to do so before Dorobou kicked us out or because there was not much point in arguing with him, I am not sure.

I don't know why Dorobou must stick his nose in my business in such a blatantly obtrusive manner. Perhaps he takes this as a sort of vengeance for having been dragged across the country and back, but that seems very unlikely. What seems more likely is that he believes that I will never do anything about Mariku on my own accord, and is therefore taking it upon himself to force me to do something.

I really do wish he would mind his own business. After all, it is complicated enough to deal with this without the interference of an irritatingly nosy former tomb robber who just happens to know my thought patterns rather well due to having lived in my head for a few too many years.

The time currently is almost two o'clock... meaning that it will be nearly three hours before Dorobou will consider letting us back into the apartment. Three hours of general awkwardness. Wonderful.

It is difficult to believe that only a few hours ago I was wondering if Mariku were still in the country at all-and here I am now, sitting next to him on the front steps of my apartment building. After Dorobou kicked us out, I didn't have much of an idea of what to do other than have a mental breakdown, and Mariku hadn't said anything, so without much of a plan we just parked ourselves here and have yet to move.

I suppose he can't be too thrilled with the situation either, but... God, he has no idea how much his presence affects me. I can't even think clearly-all I can do is freak out about what Dorobou did and sit here in silence like an idiot. He probably thinks I'm angry at him, given the way he is very clearly avoiding making eye-contact with me. I'm not angry at him, though: I'm angry at Dorobou. I am really, really angry at Dorobou, and I rarely get angry at anyone.

This is probably not helping the situation.

As hard as it is to do so, I plaster a smile (albeit a very fake one) on my face and rise to my feet. "Well, Mariku-kun, we might as well go and do /something/-no use in sitting here for hours, right?"

He eventually lifts his eyes to meet mine, and after giving me a questioning look, he too has a smile on his face-though his seems more genuine than my own. "I suppose you're right. What do you want to do, Bakura-kun?"

What do I want to do? I want to get this weight off of my chest and tell him why I ran away those years ago... but that's not really an option right now. Before I can say anything, my stomach decides to speak up for me and informs Mariku in a rather embarrassing way that I haven't exactly eaten in a while.

"Ah... maybe we could get some lunch? I'm kind of hungry, too." Whether he says this to spare me from further embarrassment or because he really is hungry, I am unsure, but nonetheless I am grateful as we walk down the street in search of a place to get food.

It figures that after all the time I have had these past five years to consider what I might have said to Mariku after seeing him again, I cannot manage to say a single intelligent thing to him now. It is times like these that I believe I loathe cosmic irony. It is also times like these when I tend to completely ignore the world around me and pretend that nothing exists outside of my little bubble in which I can berate myself for all eternity.

However, doing this can sometimes prove to be a bad idea, especially upon realizing that someone is trying to hold a conversation with me. "Huh?" I ask weakly, aware that Mariku has just said something but having no idea what that something was.

"I asked, is there anywhere in particular that you'd like to go for lunch?" Although he's had to reiterate his question, he doesn't seem irritated, fortunately. "I was just wondering, since you haven't exactly been in Domino recently, if there was any place that you remembered and might like to go to."

"Um... well, not really..." It's not so much that I don't remember any of the food places, but rather than I don't have any real preference as to where to eat.

It is because of this complete lack of preference that Mariku and I settle on stopping at the first restaurant that we come across. I don't even know what the place is called. I think this may be a side-effect of hunger and a general lack of paying attention to the world around me. It's not until after we are settled at a table with our meals that either of us even tries to strike up conversation again-on my part, this is because I am worried about sounding like an idiot. On his part? I don't know, but it's probably because I'm not much to talk to, as I think I've already proved.

"What are you thinking about?"

I can't say I'm entirely surprised by the question-after all, I've kept mostly silent ever since having left the apartment-but it does throw me off somewhat. "Er, not much..." Not much, indeed. "I guess I'm just wondering how I ended up here." Oh, that's an excellent response. Now I must refrain from hitting myself for such a stupid statement.

"If you mean 'here' as in Domino, you took the train; if you mean 'here' as in this place, we walked." I think he's actually amused, considering that he looks like he's trying not to laugh as he picks at his salad. Well, at least I succeeded in doing something positive, even if the end result was entirely unintentional.

"I'm not really sure which I meant." I can't help but return his smile. "I think maybe I meant 'here' as in where I am-where we are-since those years ago."

His face falls slightly. "Oh..."

Panicking slightly, I feel a small lump build at the back of my throat. "I really am sorry, Mariku-kun... I didn't mean to-"

He shakes his head, effectively cutting me off. "No, Bakura-kun, I'm the one who should be sorry." I only manage to blink dumbly at him. He has no reason to be sorry... "I must have done something that caused you to leave. I don't know what it was that I did, but apparently it warranted your leaving without a word. So... whatever it was, I'm sorry." He laughs, but it's a small, hollow laugh. "It doesn't sound like much of an apology, does it?"

"Mariku-kun..."

God, what have I done? Somehow, I've made Mariku think this is all his fault-but in reality, it's entirely my fault for everything that has happened. It was my fault I ran away from him and my emotions, my fault that I hurt him, my fault that he's feeling guilty right now...

I didn't know that it was even possible to feel this rotten.

"...It isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who did something wrong." I can't even look at him...

"Is that something the thing that you're hiding?"

How can he get to the core of the matter so easily? Yet, isn't that why I'm here-doesn't it make sense that he, more so than anyone else, ought to be able to see my faults with such striking clarity, even if he does not know exactly what those faults are?

"I don't know why you would be afraid to tell me something, or why you would run away like you did, but I trust you, despite that. Whenever you're ready to tell me whatever it is that you are hiding from me... you know I'll listen, Bakura-kun."

I know he'll listen. And I know he wants to hear what it is I ought to say to him...

But I'm scared.

"Yes... It's the thing that I'm hiding."

I finally look up at him, and there is something of a sadness in his eyes. "But why do you continue to hide it, Bakura-kun? Why can't you trust me?"

"You don't know, you don't understand..." The words are tumbling out of my mouth, and I can barely control them. "I do trust you, Mariku-kun. That's not why it's so difficult to tell you. The reason I can't tell you, if you knew what it was that I can't say, then you would know why I can't tell you." Am I even making sense? I doubt it. "It's just... hard. It's unbelievably hard. It's been five years, Mariku, five years! And that thing that I'm hiding, it obviously hasn't given my mind a moment's peace, because it finally drove me to come back here."

...I think I just might have said a bit too much.

"So the reason you came back... was because of something that concerns me, the same thing that caused you to leave in the first place. But you won't tell me what it is." His expression is unreadable as he makes this statement, as if it's the simplest thing ever to comprehend. "Bakura-kun, you are the single most confusing individual I have ever met, and that is quite a feat in and of itself."

Would it be appropriate for me to start smacking my head against the table right now? No, it wouldn't be appropriate? Damn.

As I don't really have a response for his comment, we simply eat in silence until we are finished our meals. I'm about to rise to leave, but I freeze as he reaches out and puts a hand on mine. It's all I can do to try and keep my face from turning ten shades of red.

"Bakura-kun... can you promise me something?"

Before I can think, the word is out of my mouth. "Anything."

"Before the end of the day, I want you to tell me what it is you've been hiding from me. I know it's hard for you, but with the knowledge of what you just told me, I think you really do want to tell me, otherwise you wouldn't be here. And if you won't do it for your own sanity, do it for mine, because I really do think that this will drive me crazy."

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

"... Alright, Mariku-kun."

What have I gotten myself into?