Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Cruise Life Away
Chapter 11
Stacey's POV
"Sure, go for it," I yelled back. She grinned from ear to ear.
"What is the difference between a man and E.T.?" I looked to Pete as he looked over at her waiting for her answer.
"What?"
"E.T. phoned home." She laughed, Pete just looked at her, "Wanna hear another??" she asked.
"Yeah!" I smiled.
"How do you save a man from drowning?" she asked, Joe now turned his attention to her, along with Lizy and Ana.
"How??" I asked.
"Take your foot off his head." she yelled, cracking up, causing me to bust out laughing.
"How is that funny?" Pete shook his head.
"You just dont get it, Laura tell another!" I yelled to her. She nodded, thinking.
"How can you tell if a man is aroused?"
"Uhh how?" I asked, seeing some of the fans look now.
"He's breathing,"
"Im breathing and im not aroused," Joe rolled his eyes. She just laughed harder.
"Thanks for the memo Joe!" Lizy laughed. He just shook his head, "Tell another!"
"Okay.. um. What is a man's idea of foreplay?"
"This should be good," Andy looked listening now.
"What?" I asked.
"Its probably gonna be something like unzipping his pants," Patrick turned getting into the conversation now.
"Nope...A half hour of begging,"
"Funny, I dont beg," Joe raised an eye brow at her.
"Save that for private talk!" Pete yelled at him.
"Why do so many women fake orgasm?" she went on.
"Why?" Ana asked.
"Because so many men fake foreplay," she smiled.
"What is it pick on guys day?" Andy asked.
"No but it's fun!" Laura yelled back at him, "What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?"
"What?" I asked, as Joe shot a glare at her.
"The Man," she laughed.
"Now we're insensitive?" He asked.
"haha joke," She smiled, shrugging and going on to tell another, "Why do men have a hole in their penis?"
"Why?" Ana, Lizy and I asked.
"So oxygen can get to their brains," we all cracked up.
"Haha so funny," Pete rolled his eyes.
"Why are women so bad at mathematics?" she ignored Pete going on.
"Why?"
"Because men keep telling them that this," she put her fingers up making a gap between her thumb and forefinger, "is 9 inches,"
"You're so bad," I shook my head at her.
"Wanna hear another?" she laughed, us girls nodded, "What do men and pantyhose have in common?"
"Oh lord, what?" I asked.
"They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch," she laughed.
"I hate to hear the next one, she's got to tell," Patrick shook his head.
"What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?"
"Tell what it means dont make them wait," Joe rolled his eyes.
"You didn't hold the pillow down long enough,"
"Where the hell does she get these from?" Ana asked.
"Probably when she was in lock up," Pete answered.
"I was never in lock up," Laura shook her head.
"The crazy peoples place, remember the padded room?"
"Nope, doesnt ring a bell," she thought about it for a minute then answered, "Wanna hear another joke??" she asked. We nodded, "How can you tell when a man is well hung?"
"How?" Patrick asked.
"When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose," she laughed.
"Are you trying to tell me something?" Joe looked at her.
"No. well maybe, but mostly no," she laughed, "What should you do if your boyfriend starts smoking?"
"What?"
"Slow.. down," she laughed, "Why were men created?"
"To listen to your stupid ass jokes,"
"Uh no, Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn," I covered my mouth stopping the laughter as Joe gave her the evilest look ever.
"Then you can go on and use your vibrator," he rolled his eyes.
"hahaha, joke,"
Laura's POV
I laughed, rolling my eyes turning back to Stacey, as she told me to tell another. "Okay i gots a couple more, Why is a woman different from a PC?"
"Why?" Lizy asked.
"A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy,"
"Where the hell are you getting these??" Pete asked, I shrugged.
"Okay next one.." I thought, "Why do men name their penises?"
"Must you tell jokes like that?" a fan asked.
"Uhh yes, must you be a who..." I pulled Joe's hand from over my mouth, smiling.
"Why Laura?" Stacey asked.
"Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions," I laughed harder as Stacey, Lizy and Ana cracked up, All four of us recieving glares.
"For your information, how could my penis come up with the gift for our anniversary, if im so insensitive," he rolled his eyes. I turned back to Stacey.
"Ohh I got a good one, Stace, it goes with what we were talking about a little while ago, wanna hear it??" I smiled, looking at Pete.. this might cause a little more drama.
"Yeah tell away," she smiled.
"What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?" Her mouth dropped open hearing the word anniversary.
"What?" she closed her eyes waiting for my answer.
"Men always miss them,"
"Really?" Joe shook his head, "What's with all the dissing of men? Did i do something wrong?" he asked.
"I dont know, mostly im bored," I shrugged.
"You dont know? so I did something wrong?"
"Maybe," I mumbled.
"Laura what did I do?" he asked. I shrugged, "Fine.. dont tell me, but im not gonna sit here and listen to these dumbass jokes," he got up.
"What about the dolphins?" Andy yelled.
"Fuck the dolphins,"
"You arent gonna go after him?" A fan asked.
"Why is that any of your business?" I looked at her.
"Because he's like upset, and I like care when he's upset,"
"You dont know him so how can you care when hes upset? Or half the time know when hes upset?" I asked.
"Are you going to go after him or not?" Another girl asked.
"Dont worry about it," I watched the girl swim to the edge of the pool, and climb out.
"What a nice girlfriend you are, Joe's soo lucky to have you," she turned before running off the direction Joe went.
"Okay im done being nice," I mumbled getting up.
"Laura," Charlie yelled following me.
Pete's POV
"We better go after them," I mumbled getting up. Stacey nodded after a minute, "Why did she say that last joke goes along with what ya'll were talking about?" I asked as we walked the direction, Joe, the fan, Laura and Charlie went.
Stacey's POV
"Sure, go for it," I yelled back. She grinned from ear to ear.
"What is the difference between a man and E.T.?" I looked to Pete as he looked over at her waiting for her answer.
"What?"
"E.T. phoned home." She laughed, Pete just looked at her, "Wanna hear another??" she asked.
"Yeah!" I smiled.
"How do you save a man from drowning?" she asked, Joe now turned his attention to her, along with Lizy and Ana.
"How??" I asked.
"Take your foot off his head." she yelled, cracking up, causing me to bust out laughing.
"How is that funny?" Pete shook his head.
"You just dont get it, Laura tell another!" I yelled to her. She nodded, thinking.
"How can you tell if a man is aroused?"
"Uhh how?" I asked, seeing some of the fans look now.
"He's breathing,"
"Im breathing and im not aroused," Joe rolled his eyes. She just laughed harder.
"Thanks for the memo Joe!" Lizy laughed. He just shook his head, "Tell another!"
"Okay.. um. What is a man's idea of foreplay?"
"This should be good," Andy looked listening now.
"What?" I asked.
"Its probably gonna be something like unzipping his pants," Patrick turned getting into the conversation now.
"Nope...A half hour of begging,"
"Funny, I dont beg," Joe raised an eye brow at her.
"Save that for private talk!" Pete yelled at him.
"Why do so many women fake orgasm?" she went on.
"Why?" Ana asked.
"Because so many men fake foreplay," she smiled.
"What is it pick on guys day?" Andy asked.
"No but it's fun!" Laura yelled back at him, "What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?"
"What?" I asked, as Joe shot a glare at her.
"The Man," she laughed.
"Now we're insensitive?" He asked.
"haha joke," She smiled, shrugging and going on to tell another, "Why do men have a hole in their penis?"
"Why?" Ana, Lizy and I asked.
"So oxygen can get to their brains," we all cracked up.
"Haha so funny," Pete rolled his eyes.
"Why are women so bad at mathematics?" she ignored Pete going on.
"Why?"
"Because men keep telling them that this," she put her fingers up making a gap between her thumb and forefinger, "is 9 inches,"
"You're so bad," I shook my head at her.
"Wanna hear another?" she laughed, us girls nodded, "What do men and pantyhose have in common?"
"Oh lord, what?" I asked.
"They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch," she laughed.
"I hate to hear the next one, she's got to tell," Patrick shook his head.
"What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?"
"Tell what it means dont make them wait," Joe rolled his eyes.
"You didn't hold the pillow down long enough,"
"Where the hell does she get these from?" Ana asked.
"Probably when she was in lock up," Pete answered.
"I was never in lock up," Laura shook her head.
"The crazy peoples place, remember the padded room?"
"Nope, doesnt ring a bell," she thought about it for a minute then answered, "Wanna hear another joke??" she asked. We nodded, "How can you tell when a man is well hung?"
"How?" Patrick asked.
"When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose," she laughed.
"Are you trying to tell me something?" Joe looked at her.
"No. well maybe, but mostly no," she laughed, "What should you do if your boyfriend starts smoking?"
"What?"
"Slow.. down," she laughed, "Why were men created?"
"To listen to your stupid ass jokes,"
"Uh no, Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn," I covered my mouth stopping the laughter as Joe gave her the evilest look ever.
"Then you can go on and use your vibrator," he rolled his eyes.
"hahaha, joke,"
Laura's POV
I laughed, rolling my eyes turning back to Stacey, as she told me to tell another. "Okay i gots a couple more, Why is a woman different from a PC?"
"Why?" Lizy asked.
"A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy,"
"Where the hell are you getting these??" Pete asked, I shrugged.
"Okay next one.." I thought, "Why do men name their penises?"
"Must you tell jokes like that?" a fan asked.
"Uhh yes, must you be a who..." I pulled Joe's hand from over my mouth, smiling.
"Why Laura?" Stacey asked.
"Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions," I laughed harder as Stacey, Lizy and Ana cracked up, All four of us recieving glares.
"For your information, how could my penis come up with the gift for our anniversary, if im so insensitive," he rolled his eyes. I turned back to Stacey.
"Ohh I got a good one, Stace, it goes with what we were talking about a little while ago, wanna hear it??" I smiled, looking at Pete.. this might cause a little more drama.
"Yeah tell away," she smiled.
"What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?" Her mouth dropped open hearing the word anniversary.
"What?" she closed her eyes waiting for my answer.
"Men always miss them,"
"Really?" Joe shook his head, "What's with all the dissing of men? Did i do something wrong?" he asked.
"I dont know, mostly im bored," I shrugged.
"You dont know? so I did something wrong?"
"Maybe," I mumbled.
"Laura what did I do?" he asked. I shrugged, "Fine.. dont tell me, but im not gonna sit here and listen to these dumbass jokes," he got up.
"What about the dolphins?" Andy yelled.
"Fuck the dolphins,"
"You arent gonna go after him?" A fan asked.
"Why is that any of your business?" I looked at her.
"Because he's like upset, and I like care when he's upset,"
"You dont know him so how can you care when hes upset? Or half the time know when hes upset?" I asked.
"Are you going to go after him or not?" Another girl asked.
"Dont worry about it," I watched the girl swim to the edge of the pool, and climb out.
"What a nice girlfriend you are, Joe's soo lucky to have you," she turned before running off the direction Joe went.
"Okay im done being nice," I mumbled getting up.
"Laura," Charlie yelled following me.
Pete's POV
"We better go after them," I mumbled getting up. Stacey nodded after a minute, "Why did she say that last joke goes along with what ya'll were talking about?" I asked as we walked the direction, Joe, the fan, Laura and Charlie went.
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