FicWad

Last time we met, we met Savannah Preston. And of course, I kicked Irvine Kinneas in the balls, and made a complete ass of him. There, I saw the first clue that I wouldn't have Irvine Kinneas wrapped around my finger for long. Sure, he was his same, bastard self, and he did kiss me.

I still don't know why he kissed me. It was nice, if it wasn't completely wrong at the time. But I saw Irvine take a look at Savannah, and I swear, for the first time, I was jealous of an Irvine Kinneas conquest. And that, my friend, had to be a first. I think that was the first little red flag that told me I had a thing for Irvine, but I ignored it, of course.

I thought that Savannah Preston was going to be the only transfer student we'd be getting this semester. I thought that, because I somehow knew that I'd have enough trouble dealing with Savannah. But the other three were even stranger.

Savannah accused me and Irvine of dating, which was creepy in its own way, but that was the most normal of the meetings of the transfers.

All I knew from these encounters was that this semester was going to be twisted. When I met Rihanna Van Der Pul, Madia Saint-Peterson, and Aeshiah Montgomery, it was about a week after the day I met Savannah Preston.

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It was a fair day on the date of the arrivals of the three newest transfer students. It was a little chilly, and a little breezy, but I had my yellow windbreaker on, and the wind made my hair go everywhere, which in a strange way made me feel like a model, posing in front of a breeze machine.

I was situated underneath a tree, burying my nose in a book that Quistis had recommended for me. Usually, I hated all the books that she shoved at me, but this one was the sole exception. I was violently flipping pages, almost reading so fast that people could wonder if I was trying to destroy the book or read it.

"Hey Sef, what y'doing?" The deep, drawling voice of Irvine Kinneas startled me out of my concentration of reading. I think I jumped at least a foot, causing him to burst into laughter.

"Holy Hyne, Irv, you have to warn me before doing that." I told him sternly, as he clutched his chest, trying to stifle his laughter.

He succeeded in keeping his laughing under control, and spoke again. "Sefie, you should have seen your face." He stopped laughing altogether, and cleared his throat before adding, "I seem to have left my hat in your dorm after you pushed me out."

Oh yeah...Irvine brought me pizza, like he does every Friday, and he started being an ass, so I stole his hat and kicked him out of my dorm. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and put my bookmark in my novel. I brushed my backside off, then faced him. "So...to my dorm?" He nodded once, and we headed to my dorm. He tried to grab my hand a few times, but I managed to swing my hand out of the way just in time. Man, back then he annoyed me to God's end.

After what seemed like forever of walking, we made it to my dorm. I inserted my key in the lock, and the door opens. I run into my closet to find his hat. I search everywhere, forgetting where I put it. Finally, I find it on top of my uniform. I hear something open and Irvine snort. I turn around quickly, and Irvine quickly closes the top drawer and his left hand is behind his back, and there is a mischievous glint in his eye. It hits me then. That was my underwear drawer.

Irvine Kinneas had stolen my underwear.

I could have sworn anger was in my eyes, and I run towards Irvine, who smartly, exited my dorm. I quickly close my dorm door, and run after him. It's unlocked, but all I am thinking about is catching Irvine. I chase Irvine Kinneas out of the dorm area, to the hallway, to the main part of the building, and to the quad. He looks back, laughing at me, and I increase my speed. I'm getting closer and closer until we're on the grass, and I get close enough that I tackle him. And with my luck, I end up falling directly on top of him. It looks like I could be fucking Irvine Kinneas. Great...just great.

The mischievous glint in his eye is still there, but there's also a curious glint as well. "Selphie, I didn't know that you were horny enough to do it in the middle of the quad." His tone is serious but amused, and my face inevitably colored, but I don't get off him. I had to make a point, and if staying in this position would do that, I'll stay.

"Give me my underwear, Irvine." My tone is angry; I knew I was making an ass of myself in front of the entire school, but in his hand were my lucky bunny pair, and a lace thong that I wore for special occasions. They had value to me, and Irvine Kinneas couldn't have them.

"Make me." His voice was frustratingly calm; he seemed intrigued by the fact that I was still almost unembarrassed to be seen in public in such a sexual position with him...for the sake of two pairs of underwear.

"IRVINE KINNEAS, GIVE ME MY UNDERWEAR BACK!" I screamed at him, surprising myself and causing the entire quad to look at us. I felt myself blush a lovely shade of puce, and I heard hoots and wolf-whistles. Irvine just chuckled, surprised as I continued to stay in such a position even when I was so embarrassed. Looking back, I knew I just needed the underwear.

"Y'know, you're cute when you're all embarrassed." I don't think it was possible to blush as red as I did. If they had a blush-o-meter, I'd be off the charts. Seriously, I looked like I had been splashed with crimson paint...it was terrible.

Tears filled my eyes. At this point, I was so embarrassed I could cry. Irvine noticed it, and wiped a developing my tear from my eye. I slap his hand back. He's made me embarrass the shit out of myself; he doesn't need to make it worse. "Shh...Selph, it's okay. Its okay...Selph don't cry. I hate it when you cry..." His voice is sincere, and he quickly pecks my cheek and hands me my underwear. I snatch it away angrily, gathering up what ever dignity I still possessed. I'd never live this down.

Tears of humiliation falling down my cheeks, I walk off the quad and to my dorm. I realize I'm still carrying Irvine's cowboy hat, so I drop it, and with my foot, dig it into the mud. I hear Irvine groan about having to dry-clean it again, but I ignore him. He's already done enough to me.

I run to my dorm. Yes, seriously, I run for my life, as if something or someone was chasing me. My legs were tired from going full speed at that asshole, but I was still running at a decent pace. I guess I was just so concentrated on getting away that I forgot any fatigue that I had.

I collapsed on to my bed, fat tears rolling down my face as I sobbed into my comforter. I was so mad and embarrassed that I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. And it was his entire fault. God dammit, at that moment I despised Irvine Kinneas with every fiber of my being.

I heard swift three knocks on the door, Irvine's signature signal. That bastard thought he could just walk in and make it all better. "Just leave me alone to die, Kinneas." I moaned; burying myself in my covers as Irvine inevitably walked in.

He tugged on the cover, but I pull against him. No way was I going to let Irvine Kinneas see me like this; red eyed, and nose running. It was embarrassing enough to have been in a sexual position with him and have half of Garden see, and to know I was crying over the whole ordeal was even worse. I tried to muffle my sobs with my comforter, but let's just say that my quilt didn't exactly mute them. It just got snot everywhere; I knew that I'd have to get them cleaned.

He patted the area of blanket that covered my head, which was the closest thing to affection without tearing my comforter. "Sef...I just came to apologize for being an ass out there..." Irvine's tone was serious, and I knew he was telling the truth. I removed the comforter from over my head, and stared at him. His hat was missing, probably being cleaned, and his hair was in a messier form of its usual ponytail. His eyes had this sincere glint to it, which told me he was being honest. I don't think that he's ever used it when he wasn't being honest.

I stared at him, and he stared back. I think we just sat there, staring into each others eyes, for minutes. The silence was long and tense, almost so thick that one could cut it with a knife. Irvine leaned in and hugged me around the waist. The gesture was unexpected, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried onto his shirt as he stroked my hair. Isn't it ironic that the person who fucks everything up for me ends up being the best shoulder to cry on? But what can we say; life is such a twisted thing.

Irvine pulls me closer to him, and presses the faintest of kisses on my temple. "Selph...it's okay...I've got you." Usually, that could be taken many different ways, many of them in a dirty sense, but I knew that Irvine was sincere about this; why else would he be acting as the crying post of a girl with snot running down her nose? I hug him tighter, almost challenging him, and I feel him grinning.

"Ah Sef...you just keep yourself off me." He chuckles, and though it's nearly beneath me to do this, but I laugh along with him. Usually it would make me mad, but Irvine's just joking with me.

By this time, I'm crying tears of laughter, and Irvine's eyes were watery as well, as he was forced to wipe his eyes every five seconds. I don't remember we were laughing about anymore. We were just holding each other for dear life, laughing our dear asses off at absolutely nothing at all.

"Irv...why are...we...laughing?" I asked the cowboy next to me, in between intense burst of laughter. It has hard to speak in between laughs and wiping the tears of hilarity off our faces.

He threw his head back, laughing even more. This had been one strange day. Seriously, my pride had taken a nosedive today, and I was laughing my ass off with the guy who had caused the entire thing. His died down slightly, so he could reply to me. "Selph...I wish...I had a...fucking clue...but I don't..." Irvine leaned more onto me as the both of us grabbed my bed for more support, now laughing at the fact that we were laughing for no reason at all.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If someone whipped out a camera and took a picture of the scene of me and Irvine, all the article would say is "Selphie Tilmett and Irvine Kinneas are the biggest dorks that ever lived." I know, a measly thirteen words would all they could say about us. But of course, its only common knowledge that we are dorks; I'm self-explanatory, and Irvine is crazy enough to hang out with me. So basically, we bring it on ourselves.

Finally, we got our laughter under control. But I think we spent at least an hour laughing. I grabbed Irvine's hand and pulled him into the bathroom.

His facial expression was both perplexed and intrigued; I doubt he knew why I was leading him into my bathroom. "What are we doin'?" He shot me a mischievous glance; as if I was planning to do something dirty with him in my bathroom. What can I say; Irvine Kinneas has only the ability to think with his dick, and yes, everything in his mind is connected to sex in some way, shape, or form.

I look at him as if he was a gross bug I found on my bed. Put it this way; no matter what Irvine is thinking, I am not having sex with him in the shower or something horny like that. "We need to wash the tears off our faces. I mean, look at me. I look like just went to funeral and went on a crying spree for four hours." His mouth went into a pout, but he nodded. We both looked terrible with all of the dried tears on our faces.

I grabbed two facecloths, and turned on the water to hot. I stuck my finger in the water, to monitor how hot I'd want it. And of course, Irvine stuck his pinky in, and flicked a nice amount of water at me. The cold blast hit my face, and I opened and closed my eyes a few times with a screwed expression on my face. I elbowed him in the side, not hard, but enough to getting him to back away. He complied, as I turned the heat down slightly, and we dipped our cloths in the warm water.

I leaned into the mirror to find the spots that my tears had dried, but my lack of hand-eye coordination made the task impossible. And of course, I was blocking Irvine's view of the mirror. "Um...I think that it would be more effective if I did your face, and you did mine. Sit down on the side of the tub, and then we'd be closer in height." I suggested, and he nodded in approval.

"Yesss ma'am." He drawled, sitting down on my tub, making him only about 2 inches shorter than me. I think that worked better than him being 10 and a half inches taller than me. I leaned towards him, and his towards me, and I dabbed at his cheek, as he did to mine.

For the first time in awhile, I looked at Irvine Kinneas' face in more detail than usual. Even with puffy eyes from our crying/laughing and dried tear trails on his cheeks, I couldn't deny that he was attractive. But he could never know that; I can't even imagine what that could do to his ego. His eyes were the bluest blue I'd ever seen, and they stared into mine with an unreadable emotion. His lips were a light pink, and fuller than many would imagine. They were currently curled into a small, almost seductive smile. His cheekbones were defined, and his skin was without blemishes. His chin had the faint roughness of stubble, but in a way, it suited him well. It was really then when I realized why girls went crazy for him.

We spent minutes in absolute silence, dabbing each other's cheeks to rid ourselves of tear trails and gazing into each other's eyes. At times, I felt myself blindly dab around, unable to break his gaze. I felt myself flush red, I had to admit to be embarrassed by the fact that me and Irvine were covering up the evidence of our laughing session. I think that made Irvine grin even further, but I didn't really care. We both looked like complete idiots, staring at each other and dabbing each other's faces.

"Um...I think we've covered up the evidence enough, Sefie." My cheeks color at his statement, and he chuckles to himself. Thankfully, I don't start laughing as well, and we don't want to have a repeat of before. Thank Hyne for that.

I grabbed our towels, and throw them in my hamper. I then link arms with Irvine, which when I think about it, sounds like such a couple's thing. But I've been doing this with Irvine ever since we defeated Ultimecia, and no one has made a big deal about it. Everyone knows that we are just friends, so that could be why. We walked together out of my dorm, and I locked my door.

Irvine leans into me, and asks me, "Quad?" I nod my head nervously in approval at his suggestion. Even though I'm reluctant to see the rest of Garden after the little mishap, I know that I have to face my fear someday.

He seems to notice my insecurity, which I'm not surprised, because he knows me well, and looks at me with a strange look. "Sefie, if anyone says anything funny, I'll take him out so fast he won't know what's comin'." I smiled at him. Irvine always knew exactly what to say to me, no matter if he was trying to make me happy or piss me off. I guess it's a gift...a gift I obviously lack.

"What if it's a girl?"

He frowns at me, signaling that he wouldn't shoot a girl. Irvine's too much of a fucking gentleman for that, of course. "Sefie, if it was a girl, I'd kiss you again, and make her jealous."

I laugh. His ego was getting out of hand. "If you kissed me again, I'd give 'ya another swing to the balls." For my little comment, Irvine lightly elbowed me in the ribs. He knows I could take a full blow, but he doesn't like to hurt girls. Must be the gentlemen-ego shit he's been pulling lately.

I smile at him. He's an idiot. "So, to the quad?" He nods, and we walk down the halls of Balamb Garden.

We walk in almost complete silence, until I remembered something to ask him. "Why did you steal my underwear?" He chuckled to himself, not expecting my sudden question.

He adjusted his ponytail, which was probably a replacement for tipping his hat. "For me of course. Y'know I love to wear ladies underwear. That thong would've erased my o'vious pa'ny lines, miss." He smirked at me, and I elbowed playfully in the ribs. He's a moron.

I raised my eyebrow, as to say "As if, Irvine Kinneas." But I don't say anything. In this situation, I say it best when I say nothing at all.

He chuckled to himself. "I've managed to make her speechless." For this, I whack him in the head with my fist.

"You are so full of bullshit." I roll my eyes at him and he frowns.

He clutches his chest. "Sef, you broke my heart, darlin'." I am so tempted now to repeat what I just stated before. He is full of bullshit sometimes. What can I say, Irvine Kinneas has had 'biggest moron ever' act down for quite some time now.

I snort. What a moron. "And I thought you were the heartbreaker." I imply slyly as we, exit the building, and head to the quad.

He smirks at me. "Miss, y'know that's just a bunch 'a talk." What a lie. What a fucking lie. What an Irvine Kinneas line. He always denies these things. He denies he's a heartbreaker. He denies he's a womanizer. He denies he's a skirt chaser. Sadly, everyone knows he is, so whatever goes on in his brain is not what the rest of the world believes.

I roll my eyes again in a non-Selphie-like fashion. "Yeah, about as fake as the time you brought strippers to Zell's 18th birthday party." I say sarcastically as I find the spot under the tree where I was reading.

Irvine sighed. "You are never going to let me live that down, are y'darlin'? Zell became a man...who's a virgin when they're 'eighteen anaway?" He drawled as he sat down next to me.

That is another typical Irvine Kinneas phrase. I don't think that he realizes that there are people who do save themselves for marriage. Perhaps someone on the planet who doesn't lose it just because they don't want to be inexperienced before their fifteenth birthday. Like me for example. "I am." I said simply, ignoring the gawking look on Irvine's face.

"Y-y're a virgin, Sef...well I guess we can suspect that coming from innocent little Selphie." He chuckles to himself in an attempt to rile me up again. I think he's just teasing just to get a reaction out of me. I sigh, and exhale out all of my anger and frustration as three girls walk up to us, all of which I'd never seen before.

"Aww...Mad, Aeh, look. It's Selphie Tilmett, and her underwear stealing friend, Irvine Kinneas." The one in the middle informed the two girls around her. She was tall, dreadfully tall. In 4 inch stilettos, she most definitely swamped even Seifer Almasy. Her frame was skinny, almost gaunt. Her eyes were piercing silver, and her hair was dark with a few blond streaks, in a high pony tail that went slightly past her shoulders. She wore a white tube top, along with a silver mini that accentuated her silver eyes. She looked to be the oldest of them, looking around 20, and to be the leader of their little group.

The other two were significantly shorter, about 5'7 and 5'9 due to their 4 inch heels. They looked healthier than their "leader", but were almost as skinny. They looked to be about my age, give or take a few years. They were both blond, with matching denim minis and white tank tops.

Irvine winked at the girl, rather lewdly if must say. She was nearly directly vertical to him, and he was most definitely looking up her skirt. I had to control myself enough not to hiss "slut", meaning both the girl and Irvine at the same time. "'ello sexah. What's y'name? Y'wanna catch a movie tomorrow?" Yet again, Irvine turned on his "sexy voice", and I stuck my pinky in my throat and pretended to gag. Disgusting little bastard...

The leader threw her head back and laughed. "Irvine, do you know how old I am?" She smiled wickedly at him, and I guessed that my age guess of 20 was off. Way off.

Irvine seemed unphased by her question, much less embarrassed. He was un-embarassable. I know, it's not even a word, but it's the only explanation. He annoys me so much. "Darlin', y'couldn't be over twenty-five. And plus, age is only a number, miss." He grinned to himself confidently, almost in a cocky way. But of course, like always, he is so wrong about this that it isn't funny.

The girl giggled to herself. "Irvine...you're eighteen. That would make me twice as old as you." She smiled self-assumingly to herself, knowing she had defeated Irvine Kinneas this time.

It took Irvine a little while to double his own age. When I think about it, it took way too long. Suddenly, the gears in his brain clicked, and he appeared with a disgusted look on his face that was hilarious. "You're thirty-six?" He yelled, and I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face and the tone of his voice. I understood though, she didn't look it at all. I studied her face more thoroughly, and noticed that her face was buried under layers of foundation, so it was no wonder she could pass for someone ten years younger than her.

She nodded. "Yes sir." She smiled to at me, as we were both happy that we were able to make Irvine Kinneas look like an idiot. I seemed to be doing that quite often lately.

She whispered something to the two girls next to her, and turned on her heel to walk away. But before she did, she turned her head to face Irvine. "Oh, and by the way, my name is Rihanna Van Der Pul, and those two are Aeshiah Montgomery and Madia Saint-Peterson."

That was the first time we ever met the last of the transfer students for the second semester of that year. But what we didn't know is that we'd be seeing those three again soon. Very soon.

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