Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Axl's POV
One look was all it took. Just one fucking look and I knew. I'm not sure if it was the terrified little kid in Slash that gave it away; eyes that have witnessed something they shouldn't,something it takes time to set in and register. Or was it the look on Izzy's face that gave me that tingle in my gut that something was awry? Izzy avoided my eyes, and his mind seemed to be elsewhere. He was in a place and time far far away in a forgotten past. My forgotten past.
And then I see the blood on Slash's shame stricken face. I can see his belt dangling open. For a split second I feel pissed to see him with my Izzy; but then I see that unmistakable fear. He clings to Izzy like he never wants to let him go. He feels safe with Izzy, but who could blame him for that. Izzy had a way of making a person feel safe. But safety wasn't what I saw on Izzy's face. Mixed in with a need to expedite our situation was a long lost look of regret.
I know why that regret is there. Once, a long time ago something like this happened to me. But Izzy wasn't there. He wasn't there to save me and he has carried that guilt with himself all this time; up until just this moment. Now that look of regret is skewed. Changed into something more like relief and redemption. Like he had made amends for not being able to save me.
Of course I didn't blame Izzy for what had happened to me. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't even there. It was my own stupidity. Just the same as I was sure this was Slash's stupidity. We humans by nature just want to trust and believe most people are decent on the inside. The real truth could not be more opposite. We all have a touch of darkness and evil inside of us. It lurks about in this dormant state, without anyone aware of its existence. Then it just comes screaming out of you, out of the blue.
That was the only thing that had saved me that night; my own inner evil demons. I had innocently taken a ride from a trucker, not so different from this one. I made small talk with the guy and we drove for hours. Finally he gets tired and says he's going to stop for a room and I'm welcome to crash there too. That should have been my first clue. Funny thing, hind sight. He had a sleeper on his truck, he could have pulled over anywhere and slept. I shrugged it off. Justified the good in him. A room would give me a place to lay my head, as opposed to just a truck window as a pillow. He was just being a nice guy, right?
The night was fairly eventless. A warm shower, some tv, and sheer exhaustion lulling me into a peaceful slumber in an actual bed. But then I felt him behind me, undressing me. One thought came to my mind...No not again. I fought him. But he was so so much bigger than me, so much stronger. Finally a window of opportunity arose. I kneed him in the balls and managed to scramble away to my boots. I reached in and pulled out a straight razor. Yeah, I know it's not as fucking cool as a switchblade or a gun, but it was all the fuck I had, and I was more than ready to use it to shave my first pair of nuts.
So Grace shined on me and I got away rattled but unscathed. I never hitched alone again after that. But then Izzy was always with me after that. I should have pay more attention to how Izzy looked at that guy when we asked him for a ride. Hind sight for you. Izzy always has been a better judge of character than myself. I knew Izzy would never put us in any true danger. And I'm guessing that our little Curly Sue attached to him feels that now; that everything is ok as long as Izzy's around.
There's that little twinge of jealousy again. Why is it Izzy woke up and went after Slash? Why not wake up Duff, he's like a head taller than all of us anyway. I knew Izzy had been looking at that frizzy haired fucker. Damn him and his roaming eyes.
So we stole the guys fucking rig. Izzy says he also got about 350 in cash off him. He also says we have to ditch the rig somewhere off the highway soon. He tells us we have to get all our prints out. I knew he secretly liked watching Murder She Wrote.
One look was all it took. Just one fucking look and I knew. I'm not sure if it was the terrified little kid in Slash that gave it away; eyes that have witnessed something they shouldn't,something it takes time to set in and register. Or was it the look on Izzy's face that gave me that tingle in my gut that something was awry? Izzy avoided my eyes, and his mind seemed to be elsewhere. He was in a place and time far far away in a forgotten past. My forgotten past.
And then I see the blood on Slash's shame stricken face. I can see his belt dangling open. For a split second I feel pissed to see him with my Izzy; but then I see that unmistakable fear. He clings to Izzy like he never wants to let him go. He feels safe with Izzy, but who could blame him for that. Izzy had a way of making a person feel safe. But safety wasn't what I saw on Izzy's face. Mixed in with a need to expedite our situation was a long lost look of regret.
I know why that regret is there. Once, a long time ago something like this happened to me. But Izzy wasn't there. He wasn't there to save me and he has carried that guilt with himself all this time; up until just this moment. Now that look of regret is skewed. Changed into something more like relief and redemption. Like he had made amends for not being able to save me.
Of course I didn't blame Izzy for what had happened to me. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't even there. It was my own stupidity. Just the same as I was sure this was Slash's stupidity. We humans by nature just want to trust and believe most people are decent on the inside. The real truth could not be more opposite. We all have a touch of darkness and evil inside of us. It lurks about in this dormant state, without anyone aware of its existence. Then it just comes screaming out of you, out of the blue.
That was the only thing that had saved me that night; my own inner evil demons. I had innocently taken a ride from a trucker, not so different from this one. I made small talk with the guy and we drove for hours. Finally he gets tired and says he's going to stop for a room and I'm welcome to crash there too. That should have been my first clue. Funny thing, hind sight. He had a sleeper on his truck, he could have pulled over anywhere and slept. I shrugged it off. Justified the good in him. A room would give me a place to lay my head, as opposed to just a truck window as a pillow. He was just being a nice guy, right?
The night was fairly eventless. A warm shower, some tv, and sheer exhaustion lulling me into a peaceful slumber in an actual bed. But then I felt him behind me, undressing me. One thought came to my mind...No not again. I fought him. But he was so so much bigger than me, so much stronger. Finally a window of opportunity arose. I kneed him in the balls and managed to scramble away to my boots. I reached in and pulled out a straight razor. Yeah, I know it's not as fucking cool as a switchblade or a gun, but it was all the fuck I had, and I was more than ready to use it to shave my first pair of nuts.
So Grace shined on me and I got away rattled but unscathed. I never hitched alone again after that. But then Izzy was always with me after that. I should have pay more attention to how Izzy looked at that guy when we asked him for a ride. Hind sight for you. Izzy always has been a better judge of character than myself. I knew Izzy would never put us in any true danger. And I'm guessing that our little Curly Sue attached to him feels that now; that everything is ok as long as Izzy's around.
There's that little twinge of jealousy again. Why is it Izzy woke up and went after Slash? Why not wake up Duff, he's like a head taller than all of us anyway. I knew Izzy had been looking at that frizzy haired fucker. Damn him and his roaming eyes.
So we stole the guys fucking rig. Izzy says he also got about 350 in cash off him. He also says we have to ditch the rig somewhere off the highway soon. He tells us we have to get all our prints out. I knew he secretly liked watching Murder She Wrote.
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