Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Through The Eyes Of...
Izzy
I’m so fucking angry I’m shaking. Axl, who’s sitting in the seat beside me probably thinks I’m shaking because I’m nervous about stealing a tractor trailer but fuck that, I’m not fucking nervous. What I am is pissed beyond words! I’m pissed at that trucker but mostly I’m pissed at myself for not trusting my instincts. I knew when that fucker looked at Slash that there was something weird in his eyes; he had wanted Slash and I knew it and I didn’t do anything about it.
When I woke up in the truck at the rest stop and both Slash and the driver were gone I knew something was terribly wrong. Sure they could have gone to the bathroom but deep inside I knew something wasn’t right; I don’t know how I knew I just did. I woke up the others and we went into the bathroom and I spotted the trucker walking around the side of another building a little further away. Slash wasn’t in the bathroom so I told Duff I was going to go look for him and walked out without taking a piss. I hurried towards the building where I had seen the truck driver and as I got closer I heard voices, Slash’s voice and he sounded scared. I rounded the corner in time to see the trucker tangle his fingers in Slash’s hair and tell him to shut the fuck up. Oh fuck no. I looked around and spotted a vodka bottle sticking out of the top of a trash can and I grabbed it. Neither Slash nor the trucker knew I was there and I took advantage of that and snuck up behind them and smashed the bottle down onto the truckers head. He immediately slumped over and I grabbed Slash who was swaying around unsteadily and held him up. The guy had slammed his head into the wall and a knot was starting to form and he was bleeding where the bricks had scraped his skin. Poor kid; but he said he was ok.
I took the driver’s money and his keys and a baggie of coke that was in his pocket and walked Slash back to the truck. I stopped partway there and turned around and hugged him; I felt bad, like I should have protected him because I knew, I just knew that guy was going to try and mess with him and I like this kid. Slash is talented and funny and very easy on the eyes and I don’t want anything to happen to him, I want this band to make it but not at that kind of cost.
The other guys were coming and I yelled for them to hurry the fuck up and get in the truck. They didn’t ask any questions, they could tell by my voice that I meant business; probably helped that I was practically dragging Slash at that point. Duff ran over and I handed him off so that Duff could get him into the truck. We all piled in and I pulled on a pair of gloves that were laying between the seats and I start that fucker up. I’ve never stolen anything as big as a truck before; shit I’ve never driven anything as big as a truck before but I was fucking driving one now!
I tell Axl, who’s sitting in the front seat next to me that we have to ditch this sucker somewhere off the highway and soon. I drive about three exits and get off at a truck stop with several little hotels around it. We just became $350 richer thanks to that sick fuck I knocked out so we can pay for a couple of rooms in the Super 8. We can maybe even eat halfway decent food! Some of this money though I’m spending on dope. So let’s just say we have $250 give or take. I dump the guys off at one end of the Super 8 and drive the truck down the street to the truck stop. Axl and I strip off our shirts and wipe the truck down so that our finger prints won’t be all over it. Then we walk back to the hotel.
“So what the fuck happened?” Axl asks me as we’re walking. He’s all tensed up and I can see suppressed anger boiling just under the surface in his eyes.
“Fuck Ax, I knew something was wrong before we left this morning, just something in the way that guy looked at Slash, like he wanted a piece of him. But I figured we were all there so it wouldn’t matter, he wasn’t going to take on all of us! But when I woke up and Slash was gone and the driver was gone I knew something was fucking wrong. I saw the driver going around the corner of that other building where the payphones were just as we went in the bathroom and when Slash wasn’t in the bathroom I knew that he had to be over where the driver was. So I went over there and he had the kid shoved up against the wall and had gotten his belt open and just as I came around the corner he slammed Slash’s head into the wall. That reminds me, we need to cut through the gas station and swipe some asprin or something for Slash, he’s gonna need it. There’s a KFC in there too, let’s get dinner, after all, it’s on that asshole trucker. So anyway I smashed a liquor bottle over the driver’s head and that was it.”
“Why did you do that all by yourself? Why didn’t you get Duff to fucking come with you? He’s bigger than you and the driver,” Axl asks.
“I don’t know, I didn’t think about it. Besides I felt like it was my fault; I knew this morning Axl and I didn’t do anything. It had to be me. Look fucker, I wasn’t there for you the one time I should have been and I’m sorry, I’m always going to be sorry. So I thought maybe I could help somebody else who needed it, make up for what happened with you. I don’t know, maybe that fucking sounds stupid but that’s why it had to be me ok?” I grab that redheaded fucker right there in the middle of the gas station and hug him. He freezes in my arms but that’s ok; I know where his mind is, it’s back in a dark hotel room in St. Louis several years in the past. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to keep you safe that night,” I whisper.
“It’s ok; I’ve told you over and over it wasn’t your fault. Can we stop talking about that shit now and get off me people are starting to look at us. The last fucking thing we need is a bunch of redneck truckers thinking we’re faggots or something!” Axl grumbled loudly.
We bought a couple of buckets of chicken and stole some asprin for Slash and set off to walk across the street to the motel. Steven’s waiting for us outside the office and he hands Axl a key and takes one of the buckets of food. I stop in our room to turn on the air conditioner and we all pile into Duff and Slash’s room to eat. Duff has Slash propped up on pillows in one of the beds drinking some water. He had cleaned the blood off of his face and Slash looked better; still pretty freaked out, but better. I walk over and sit down beside him and open the asprin and hand him a couple.
“Thanks Izzy,” he says. “And, thanks for earlier, for getting me the fuck out of there.”
“Sure, we’re a band man, we look out for each other,” I reply.
“I think your boyfriend’s looking out for you right now, he doesn’t like you talking to me does he?” Slash asks smirking.
“No he doesn’t. I call him my little Fireball for a reason and it’s not just because of his hair. Guess I had better go settle him down. But are you ok though?” I ask as I get up.
“Yeah, I’m fine thanks to you,” he says. “Thanks again.” I just nod at him and walk back over to Axl.
“Stop fucking scowling at me man,” I growl at him under my breath.
“Then stop looking so happy every time you’re around that little fucker. You’re his knight in shining armor now; you going to live happily ever after with him?” Axl snaps handing me a plate of food which tells me that he’s not quite as mad as he’s pretending to be.
“The only one I want to live happily ever after with is you Fireball, but this band has to make it first so we can afford to live happily ever after. Now quit being such a jealous little fucker!” I tell him and grab his ass. “Besides I think Curly Sue’s already taken, look,” I say nodding towards Duff who’s sitting on the bed with Slash fussing over him. Poor Slash is just trying to eat but Duff wants to check the bump on his head and make sure he’s not still bleeding and make sure he took the asprin and god knows what else. Finally Slash convinces him to settle down and they both start inhaling their food. I had forgotten we haven’t eaten since this morning and suddenly I’m starving.
Later that night when Axl and I are laying in our bed naked and satisfied and curled up in each other he looks up at me and says “So you know if you want to live happily ever after with me you’re going to have to watch Murder She Wrote right? Especially if we have cable because it has the reruns on at night see?” he says gesturing at the TV. “Came in handy today didn’t it when you remembered that you had to wipe our prints off of everything in that truck?” He looks up at me with this shit eating grin and changes the channel from baseball to that stupid fucking show.
“Shut up fucker, just be glad I love you or I’d take that remote and shove it your ass for changing the channel!” I answer.
“You already shoved something up my ass tonight, did you forget?” he asks.
I snort in response. “I’m not watching this shit, I’m going to sleep. Good night Fireball.” I wrap my arms around him tightly, still remembering how I wasn’t there to save him from that trucker a few years ago. As if holding him in a death grip now is going to change that.
“Izzy, let up man, you’re fucking squeezing me to death!” Axl squeaks. I let up some and he sits up and looks at me again. “I know what you’re thinking about and I already told you that wasn’t your fault, it was that other trucker’s fault. You weren’t even there Izz.”
“I should have been,” I say angrily.
“Well I didn’t even tell you I was leaving so how would you have known? Now stop beating yourself up about it and go to sleep. It doesn’t matter to me Izzy, all that matters to me is that you’re here with me right now. I love you even when you’re being a stupid fucker and worrying about shit that’s long past,” Axl says in what I’m sure he thinks is a reassuring tone.
“Fine. I love you too Fireball. Now watch your dumb show and pretend we’re living happily ever after instead of sleeping in a shitty hotel room,” I tell him and lean down and kiss him. He snuggles back into me and happily goes back to watching Angela Lansbury solve murders. Whatever, I love him no matter what.
I’m so fucking angry I’m shaking. Axl, who’s sitting in the seat beside me probably thinks I’m shaking because I’m nervous about stealing a tractor trailer but fuck that, I’m not fucking nervous. What I am is pissed beyond words! I’m pissed at that trucker but mostly I’m pissed at myself for not trusting my instincts. I knew when that fucker looked at Slash that there was something weird in his eyes; he had wanted Slash and I knew it and I didn’t do anything about it.
When I woke up in the truck at the rest stop and both Slash and the driver were gone I knew something was terribly wrong. Sure they could have gone to the bathroom but deep inside I knew something wasn’t right; I don’t know how I knew I just did. I woke up the others and we went into the bathroom and I spotted the trucker walking around the side of another building a little further away. Slash wasn’t in the bathroom so I told Duff I was going to go look for him and walked out without taking a piss. I hurried towards the building where I had seen the truck driver and as I got closer I heard voices, Slash’s voice and he sounded scared. I rounded the corner in time to see the trucker tangle his fingers in Slash’s hair and tell him to shut the fuck up. Oh fuck no. I looked around and spotted a vodka bottle sticking out of the top of a trash can and I grabbed it. Neither Slash nor the trucker knew I was there and I took advantage of that and snuck up behind them and smashed the bottle down onto the truckers head. He immediately slumped over and I grabbed Slash who was swaying around unsteadily and held him up. The guy had slammed his head into the wall and a knot was starting to form and he was bleeding where the bricks had scraped his skin. Poor kid; but he said he was ok.
I took the driver’s money and his keys and a baggie of coke that was in his pocket and walked Slash back to the truck. I stopped partway there and turned around and hugged him; I felt bad, like I should have protected him because I knew, I just knew that guy was going to try and mess with him and I like this kid. Slash is talented and funny and very easy on the eyes and I don’t want anything to happen to him, I want this band to make it but not at that kind of cost.
The other guys were coming and I yelled for them to hurry the fuck up and get in the truck. They didn’t ask any questions, they could tell by my voice that I meant business; probably helped that I was practically dragging Slash at that point. Duff ran over and I handed him off so that Duff could get him into the truck. We all piled in and I pulled on a pair of gloves that were laying between the seats and I start that fucker up. I’ve never stolen anything as big as a truck before; shit I’ve never driven anything as big as a truck before but I was fucking driving one now!
I tell Axl, who’s sitting in the front seat next to me that we have to ditch this sucker somewhere off the highway and soon. I drive about three exits and get off at a truck stop with several little hotels around it. We just became $350 richer thanks to that sick fuck I knocked out so we can pay for a couple of rooms in the Super 8. We can maybe even eat halfway decent food! Some of this money though I’m spending on dope. So let’s just say we have $250 give or take. I dump the guys off at one end of the Super 8 and drive the truck down the street to the truck stop. Axl and I strip off our shirts and wipe the truck down so that our finger prints won’t be all over it. Then we walk back to the hotel.
“So what the fuck happened?” Axl asks me as we’re walking. He’s all tensed up and I can see suppressed anger boiling just under the surface in his eyes.
“Fuck Ax, I knew something was wrong before we left this morning, just something in the way that guy looked at Slash, like he wanted a piece of him. But I figured we were all there so it wouldn’t matter, he wasn’t going to take on all of us! But when I woke up and Slash was gone and the driver was gone I knew something was fucking wrong. I saw the driver going around the corner of that other building where the payphones were just as we went in the bathroom and when Slash wasn’t in the bathroom I knew that he had to be over where the driver was. So I went over there and he had the kid shoved up against the wall and had gotten his belt open and just as I came around the corner he slammed Slash’s head into the wall. That reminds me, we need to cut through the gas station and swipe some asprin or something for Slash, he’s gonna need it. There’s a KFC in there too, let’s get dinner, after all, it’s on that asshole trucker. So anyway I smashed a liquor bottle over the driver’s head and that was it.”
“Why did you do that all by yourself? Why didn’t you get Duff to fucking come with you? He’s bigger than you and the driver,” Axl asks.
“I don’t know, I didn’t think about it. Besides I felt like it was my fault; I knew this morning Axl and I didn’t do anything. It had to be me. Look fucker, I wasn’t there for you the one time I should have been and I’m sorry, I’m always going to be sorry. So I thought maybe I could help somebody else who needed it, make up for what happened with you. I don’t know, maybe that fucking sounds stupid but that’s why it had to be me ok?” I grab that redheaded fucker right there in the middle of the gas station and hug him. He freezes in my arms but that’s ok; I know where his mind is, it’s back in a dark hotel room in St. Louis several years in the past. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to keep you safe that night,” I whisper.
“It’s ok; I’ve told you over and over it wasn’t your fault. Can we stop talking about that shit now and get off me people are starting to look at us. The last fucking thing we need is a bunch of redneck truckers thinking we’re faggots or something!” Axl grumbled loudly.
We bought a couple of buckets of chicken and stole some asprin for Slash and set off to walk across the street to the motel. Steven’s waiting for us outside the office and he hands Axl a key and takes one of the buckets of food. I stop in our room to turn on the air conditioner and we all pile into Duff and Slash’s room to eat. Duff has Slash propped up on pillows in one of the beds drinking some water. He had cleaned the blood off of his face and Slash looked better; still pretty freaked out, but better. I walk over and sit down beside him and open the asprin and hand him a couple.
“Thanks Izzy,” he says. “And, thanks for earlier, for getting me the fuck out of there.”
“Sure, we’re a band man, we look out for each other,” I reply.
“I think your boyfriend’s looking out for you right now, he doesn’t like you talking to me does he?” Slash asks smirking.
“No he doesn’t. I call him my little Fireball for a reason and it’s not just because of his hair. Guess I had better go settle him down. But are you ok though?” I ask as I get up.
“Yeah, I’m fine thanks to you,” he says. “Thanks again.” I just nod at him and walk back over to Axl.
“Stop fucking scowling at me man,” I growl at him under my breath.
“Then stop looking so happy every time you’re around that little fucker. You’re his knight in shining armor now; you going to live happily ever after with him?” Axl snaps handing me a plate of food which tells me that he’s not quite as mad as he’s pretending to be.
“The only one I want to live happily ever after with is you Fireball, but this band has to make it first so we can afford to live happily ever after. Now quit being such a jealous little fucker!” I tell him and grab his ass. “Besides I think Curly Sue’s already taken, look,” I say nodding towards Duff who’s sitting on the bed with Slash fussing over him. Poor Slash is just trying to eat but Duff wants to check the bump on his head and make sure he’s not still bleeding and make sure he took the asprin and god knows what else. Finally Slash convinces him to settle down and they both start inhaling their food. I had forgotten we haven’t eaten since this morning and suddenly I’m starving.
Later that night when Axl and I are laying in our bed naked and satisfied and curled up in each other he looks up at me and says “So you know if you want to live happily ever after with me you’re going to have to watch Murder She Wrote right? Especially if we have cable because it has the reruns on at night see?” he says gesturing at the TV. “Came in handy today didn’t it when you remembered that you had to wipe our prints off of everything in that truck?” He looks up at me with this shit eating grin and changes the channel from baseball to that stupid fucking show.
“Shut up fucker, just be glad I love you or I’d take that remote and shove it your ass for changing the channel!” I answer.
“You already shoved something up my ass tonight, did you forget?” he asks.
I snort in response. “I’m not watching this shit, I’m going to sleep. Good night Fireball.” I wrap my arms around him tightly, still remembering how I wasn’t there to save him from that trucker a few years ago. As if holding him in a death grip now is going to change that.
“Izzy, let up man, you’re fucking squeezing me to death!” Axl squeaks. I let up some and he sits up and looks at me again. “I know what you’re thinking about and I already told you that wasn’t your fault, it was that other trucker’s fault. You weren’t even there Izz.”
“I should have been,” I say angrily.
“Well I didn’t even tell you I was leaving so how would you have known? Now stop beating yourself up about it and go to sleep. It doesn’t matter to me Izzy, all that matters to me is that you’re here with me right now. I love you even when you’re being a stupid fucker and worrying about shit that’s long past,” Axl says in what I’m sure he thinks is a reassuring tone.
“Fine. I love you too Fireball. Now watch your dumb show and pretend we’re living happily ever after instead of sleeping in a shitty hotel room,” I tell him and lean down and kiss him. He snuggles back into me and happily goes back to watching Angela Lansbury solve murders. Whatever, I love him no matter what.
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