FicWad

Slash
The pervert sitting on Vicki’s couch looks at Axl and I and smirks. “You guys put on a good show,” he says looking like some sort of predatory snake. I want him to put his dick back in his pants and get the fuck out of here; not sit there looking at me like a piece of meat. Axl and I have already pulled our clothes back on but he hasn’t.

“Are we done here?” Axl asks.

“Mmm we might be. You really want to know what it’s going to take to get signed? Every fucking label on the strip knows you guys protect that fucking kid,” he says nodding at me “and that nobody gets near him. You give him up you get signed, simple as that. Every account executive in town is competing to fuck that kid. Lots of labels would be willing to sign you but not without getting something in return and he’s what they want. He’s got such a pretty mouth,” the slimeball tells Axl.

I feel the blood drain from my face and Axl steps between me and the guy. “We’ll consider it; I think he’s had enough for one night. Make us an offer and we’ll think about it; I’m not letting you or anybody else near him for nothing. We need a reason to give you our most valuable asset.”

“You’ll be hearing from us, don’t worry,” the guy says and walks to the door. Axl lets him out and the second the door closes I collapse onto the sofa with my head in my hands. I can feel myself shaking; partly because I’m relieved that that creep is gone and partly because I’m so disgusted at what I just did and some of it is fear because I know they want more from me and that I’ll have to give them what they want.

“Hey, it’s ok kid; don’t totally freak out on me. I know you didn’t want to do it but it’s over and you got through it. Now they’ll send us an offer which is more than we had before,” Axl says and rubs my back soothingly.

“Yeah it’s over for now but they want me Axl; how many people am I going to have to fuck to get a record deal? It’s different fucking chicks; I’m used to doing that. But this, this is different. I don’t want other men that way; I only want Duff. What the fuck is he going to say when he finds out about this? He’s going to freak the fuck out! He’s already a fucking mess; the last thing he needed was to worry about me cheating on him!” I can hear my voice rise in pitch and I’m starting to panic. “I want to go home Axl; I want to hold Duff and forget this ever happened! I want to forget he got hurt too, I want everything to go back to the way it was two weeks ago!”

“You didn’t fucking cheat on him; this shit we have to do? It’s not cheating, it’s what we have to do to make it. Duff knows it; look at the shit he just went through; you don’t ‘consider it cheating. Don’t worry about that part,” Axl sighs.

“It’s different Axl; you’re in the band, you’re not a stranger. You’re also not a chick so it’s a whole different ballgame. I want to go home,” I whisper again and he sighs and puts his arm around me.

I just look up at him sitting next to me and pull away from where he’s touching me. It’s not his fault but I don’t want to be touched by anyone right now. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” I mumble and get up and lock myself in the bathroom. I turn the shower on as hot as it will go without burning my skin off and just stand under the scorching stream for the better part of an hour scrubbing myself off over and over. When I come out Axl’s camped out on the floor even though it’s his night to sleep on the couch and there’s an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels on the table which he knows is my preferred brand of liquor.

“That’s for you,” he says nodding at the bottle as he swigs something out of a bottle in a paper bag. “You sleep on the couch too; you’ve have a rough fucking night.”

“You’ve had the same night I had,” I respond.

“Yeah but …just it’s ok. It’s different for you. I can’t make it up to you but maybe the whiskey will help a little.

“Thanks,” I say quietly.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Just enjoy it. I’m gonna take a shower now that you’re out,” he says and stands up walking into the bathroom. I pull clean clothes out of my bag and throw them on and then curl up into a ball on the couch. I try and make myself as small as I can and I concentrate on the episode of Magnum PI that’s on TV. All I can think about though is Duff and how much I miss him and how much I wish he was here to hold me right now. I reach over and grab the bottle of whiskey and gulp down a quarter of it in one go. I drink another quarter of it before Axl comes out of the shower and by then I’m just laying there crying; ready to pass out but not quite there.

“Jesus did you drink all of that?” Axl asks when he comes out of the bathroom.

“I guess,” I slur. “Axl I wanna go home.”

“I know you do kid, soon ok? We can go home soon. I want to see Izzy too. C’mon don’t cry now. Go to sleep; you won’t have to think for awhile,” he tells me and brushes the hair off of my forehead before he settles down on the floor.

“I want Duff,” I mumble as I slide into a blissful oblivion of sleep.

We’re awakened in the morning by Izzy pounding on the door. Vicki lets him in and I put my head back under the pillow and groan. “Hey, get up, you can go home. That girl dropped the charges; I guess some of her friends told her what she really did that night. “What the fuck did you do last night drink each other under the table?” he asks seeing the half empty bottle of Jack and my obviously hung-over state.

“Just me,” I whisper trying not to make my head throb. “I want to go home. I want Duff."

“Well come on then. Axl I’ll drop you off on the way. By the way, Erin’s roommate moved out so Angie moved in so it’s just the three of us again,” Izzy says.

“Works for me, how’s Duff?” I ask anxiously.

“He’s…he needs you to come home,” Izzy says.

“Ok, let me get something for my head and take me home. I can’t meet Izzy’s eyes when I stand up. I can feel him looking at me funny. I walk into the kitchen and get some asprin out of Vicki’s kitchen cabinet and then grab my bag. Neither Axl or I have much stuff so we’re packed up and ready to go in five minutes.

“You ok kid?” Izzy asks.

“Yeah, just hung over. Take me home please? I really want to be with Duff,” I tell him. I feel my eyes fill with tears thinking about what happened last night. I just want Duff.

Izzy shakes his head at me. “Good thing he hasn’t gotten out of bed; I don’t think you could stand up for very long." That makes me more worried. We pile into the car and Axl tells Izzy not to worry about dropping him off to take me home first.

When we get home I can’t get in the house fast enough. I hurry down the hall and open the bedroom door; Duff’s laying propped up in the bed watching TV and I practically throw myself into his arms. I gather him up to me and bury my face in his hair and hold on tightly. He grips me back just as hard. “Baby what are you doing here?” he asks.

“The girl dropped the charges; didn’t Izzy tell you?”

“No, he didn’t say anything. Fuck I’m glad you’re back; I really needed you,” he whispers.

I stroke his hair and whisper back “I needed you too; I love you so much.”

“You’re totally hung over,” he chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it, just let me hold you,” I plead with him.

“I think I could live with that,” he says and smiles. We settle in and I pull Duff as close as I can and we stay like that for the rest of the afternoon; I’m right where I need to be.

I doze on and off all afternoon and by 2:00 my hangover is mostly gone. Last night is still on my mind though and I can’t get over the feelings of guilt and shame so I’m a lot quieter than usual. Duff asks me a couple of times if I’m ok and I say yes but I have a hard time meeting his eyes. Finally he says “Baby boy something’s wrong; what happened? You can’t look at me and you’re so quiet I know something’s not right. Tell me what’s going on; please? I don’t like secrets between us and you’re hiding something.”

“It’s nothing; don’t worry about it. I just don’t feel good after drinking so much last night,” I reassure him.

“Uh huh. Why did you drink so much?” he asks.

I can’t even come up with a quick reply to that question. “We were just drinking; I just had too much, that’s all. I just wanted to come home.” Duff looks at me skeptically but doesn’t push it.

Just then the phone rings. I hear Izzy answer it and a few minutes later he knocks on the door. I lean over and open it and he’s smiling from ear to ear. “We got an offer from Virgin records! Vicki’s coming over with the details in a little while so we can go over it. She shopped our tape to them and they liked it!” I try not to be sick and manage a little smile. Both Izzy and Duff see right through it and Izzy crosses his arms and blocks the doorway.

“Slash you look like you’re going to puke,” he says. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it just surprised me, it’s great,” I answer and sit back down on the bed.

“Bullshit,” Izzy answers and lights a cigarette. “Did something happen with somebody from Virgin? Did Vicki really just shop our tape around or is there more to it?”
I can’t answer him; I can’t do anything but look at him. I am going to be sick. I jump up and push Izzy out of the way and I make it across the hall to the toilet before puking but barely.

Both Duff and Izzy follow me and Duff wets a washcloth that Izzy grabs out of closet and cleans my face off. “It’s ok baby,” Duff whispers and rubs my back. “You’re ok.” I lean into him and he puts his arms around me and strokes my hair. How am I going to avoid telling the two of them what happened? They’re not going to let me get out of answering their questions now. “What happened baby? Whatever it is it’s ok, you can tell me. You can tell Izzy. Nobody’s going to be mad. It’s ok.” He keeps his arms around me and keeps stroking my hair and I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“I can’t tell you!” I sob. “I can’t! I promised I wouldn’t!”

“You promised who? Virgin? Axl? Vicki?” Izzy asks. I just shake my head.

“It doesn’t matter what happened Baby Boy, it’s not going to change how I feel; I’m gonna love you just as much,” Duff soothes. I can’t stop crying; all I can picture in my head is Axl’s face when he came. That guilty look in his eyes that said he was just as ashamed of experiencing pleasure from what we did as I was even though he wouldn’t admit it.
Izzy and Duff aren’t going to let me out of the bathroom until I tell them what happened so I try and choke it out. “Vicki brought a guy from Virgin over to her apartment last night and more or less pimped us out to him. Only he didn’t want us to fuck him…”

“Well what did he want then?” Duff asks, confused.

“He wanted…he wanted us to fuck each other while he watched. So we did because he promised us an offer. We got the offer I guess,” I say through tears.

Izzy and Duff just stand there looking at me for a second. Finally Izzy says “Yeah, I guess we did but at what cost? You’re a fucking wreck; I told Axl no one was allowed near you!”

“Well apparently that didn’t apply to him. It doesn’t matter; I agreed to it for all of us. The guy said that if we want a deal anywhere in town that what every record company in LA wants is me! He said because all of you protect me I’m the one they’re competing to fuck! I don’t want to fuck anybody! I didn’t want what happened last night! I just didn’t have a choice! It’s the first and only real deal we’ve been offered!” I start crying again and Duff holds me tighter and whispers to me trying to comfort me. “Duff I’m sorry! Both of you; I’m so sorry!”

“Shh, no baby, it’s ok. It’s all ok. Don’t cry Curly Sue, shh my baby,” Duff crooned as I fucking clung to him for dear life. “It’s all going to be fine. Did he hurt you?”

“No, he didn’t so I can’t fucking hate him which might make it worse!” I sniff.

“Are you ok? I mean like physically ok?” Izzy asks. “Did that pervert record company guy do anything to you?”

“No, Axl wouldn’t let him near me. He told him that he wasn’t handing me over to him or anyone else last night or any night without a signed contract. Then when I was in the shower he went and bought me a bottle of whiskey and he let me sleep on the couch even though it wasn’t my turn. He’s not as messed up as I am about it but he drank himself to sleep last night too. He could probably use your company Izzy,” I hiccup.

Izzy nods at me. “I’ll go see him,” he says softly. “No hard feelings kid ok? It’s the breaks and the shit we have to go through to get what we want. Don’t worry about that part of it. Just you two take care of each other; I’m going to see Axl. I’m not sure which one of you needs the other one worse right now but it’s good to see the two of you wrapped around each other like that again.” I can tell he’s thinking about how he’s yearning for that from Axl. Izzy leaves the bathroom and I hear the front door close a few minutes later. Duff pulls me up off of the bathroom floor and I brush my teeth and follow him back to the bedroom where we curl up into some sort of entangled mess and just lay there holding each other. Even after all the shit that went down last night for the first time in days I feel whole.