Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Clandestine
Hells Wedding Bells
Nikki's POV
Here I stand swaying in my formal rock wear attire. The first word out of tommy's mouth when he saw me was how strung out I looked. And there was a perfectly good reason for that, I was. I had been for months. It was the only way I could deal with that constant ache when I was with or without Tommy.
Surely Tommy understood I couldn't actually go through with this fucking shit sober. My boots were loaded with hypodermics. I came well prepared, loaded to the teeth. I kept excusing myself through most of the day to go to the bathroom. I wasn't discrete at all. I did not give a fuck.
I try to stand there and listen to all the bullshit the preacher is saying. None of it means a thing to me. Then I look at Tommy's face. He looks like the happiest rat fuck on the planet. But he's looking at her, not me. I can't put my pain into words. But I feel like I'm dying. Witnessing this is killing me in the slowest most agonizing way.
Then come those words. The words asking if anyone objects. I want to end this madness. My lips part and I see Tommy look to me with a silent plead. I close my mouth and swallow. Just shut up Sixx. This is happening whether you fucking like it or not. My eyes fall to the floor. I need more smack to make this feeling stop. But it would be distasteful, even for me, to go to the bathroom in the middle of the ceremony.
Eventually I had to produce the rings from my pocket. They needed these things right? Yet,here they were in my hand and I had all the power. I stare at them, twiddling them in my fingers examining them closely. Funny how two metal cylinders meant ownership to another person. After contemplating sabotage for far too long I hand over the rings.
Then came those words I didn't want to hear. Words that had haunted my smacked out hallucinations. “I do.” Spoken solemnly from the lips of MY Tommy. My heart starts to crack as if it's made of glass. My empty stomach caves in on itself into my back. My breathing stops and I have to force myself to inhale. My head pounds with doom. My knees shake and I pray for the strength to hold myself up.
My insides twist in turmoil at the words, “You may kiss the bride.” I watch Tommy's lips. My fucking lips, press to hers the same way they did to me. You bastard Tommy. You have no idea how much you're hurting me. I feel nothing but malicious spite for Heather. I want to jerk her away and claim the lips that belonged to me. I smirk. I hope she enjoys where that mouth has been.
This was it. Completely official. Tommy was Heather's husband. Ring on his finger, signed, sealed, and delivered. So what does this make me? Where does it leave me? Us? An empty ache leads me to the bathroom the second Tommy and Heather take off down the aisle. Feel like he's walking away from me. This pain has to go. It all hurts too fucking much. I'm still expected to give some fucking speech to the goddamn newlyweds.
What the fuck does tommy expect me to fucking say? Congratulations. Best of wishes. The words that danced in my head play out nothing like that. No they sounded something more like, “Heather, I'll keep him warm when you're away. Tommy, can't wait to get you back on the road. Heather, may you find all the happiness you deserve. Tommy, if married life don't work out you always have me. Heather, I'm in love with your husband and he's in love with me. Tommy, you've broke my fucking heart.”
I was so fucking trashed by the time it came for to me to give my speech and I got it all fucking wrong. I was supposed to raise my glass and simply say, “May all your ups and downs be in bed.” Well I raised he glass of champagne and fucking dropped it. Then my words came slurring out in the language of smack. Everyone could look at me and tell I was a junkie. But I didn't give a fuck. The person they all loved wasn't now married to someone else.
Eventually Tommy pulls me aside. “Dude what the fuck is wrong with you showing up like this to my fucking wedding bro? Everybody keeps asking me what the fuck is wrong with my best man.”
I look to his with tears and reach forward and drag him into my embrace.”Di you have any fucking clue how much today hurts me?” I ask. “I don't want to share you.”
Tommy give me some form of a sympathetic look. “Just pull it the fuck together bro...please,” he says backing away from me and returning to his guests. Just leaving me standing there all alone and hurting.
Didn't he know how desperately I needed him to hold me and kiss me. I needed to know it was all going to be ok. I needed his reassurance, his comfort, his touch. But today he seemed to have eyes only for her. Fuck I hadn't even got to kiss the groom. Yeah, today ranks pretty highly on my scale of shitty fucking days.
Tommy's POV
Nikki looked fucking awful all fucking broken and smacked out. He's made a complete wreck of this wedding, stumbling and slurring and shit. I had to make excuses for him all day. Heather was beyond pissed.
From the look in his eyes I know he needs me. God I wish I could go to him. Wish I could hold him and promise him it was only him. But I couldn't. Not today. So I had to sit back with a fake smile and pretend to be the happy newlywed. I'm not happy. Nikki isn't the only one hurting here.
Nikki's POV
Here I stand swaying in my formal rock wear attire. The first word out of tommy's mouth when he saw me was how strung out I looked. And there was a perfectly good reason for that, I was. I had been for months. It was the only way I could deal with that constant ache when I was with or without Tommy.
Surely Tommy understood I couldn't actually go through with this fucking shit sober. My boots were loaded with hypodermics. I came well prepared, loaded to the teeth. I kept excusing myself through most of the day to go to the bathroom. I wasn't discrete at all. I did not give a fuck.
I try to stand there and listen to all the bullshit the preacher is saying. None of it means a thing to me. Then I look at Tommy's face. He looks like the happiest rat fuck on the planet. But he's looking at her, not me. I can't put my pain into words. But I feel like I'm dying. Witnessing this is killing me in the slowest most agonizing way.
Then come those words. The words asking if anyone objects. I want to end this madness. My lips part and I see Tommy look to me with a silent plead. I close my mouth and swallow. Just shut up Sixx. This is happening whether you fucking like it or not. My eyes fall to the floor. I need more smack to make this feeling stop. But it would be distasteful, even for me, to go to the bathroom in the middle of the ceremony.
Eventually I had to produce the rings from my pocket. They needed these things right? Yet,here they were in my hand and I had all the power. I stare at them, twiddling them in my fingers examining them closely. Funny how two metal cylinders meant ownership to another person. After contemplating sabotage for far too long I hand over the rings.
Then came those words I didn't want to hear. Words that had haunted my smacked out hallucinations. “I do.” Spoken solemnly from the lips of MY Tommy. My heart starts to crack as if it's made of glass. My empty stomach caves in on itself into my back. My breathing stops and I have to force myself to inhale. My head pounds with doom. My knees shake and I pray for the strength to hold myself up.
My insides twist in turmoil at the words, “You may kiss the bride.” I watch Tommy's lips. My fucking lips, press to hers the same way they did to me. You bastard Tommy. You have no idea how much you're hurting me. I feel nothing but malicious spite for Heather. I want to jerk her away and claim the lips that belonged to me. I smirk. I hope she enjoys where that mouth has been.
This was it. Completely official. Tommy was Heather's husband. Ring on his finger, signed, sealed, and delivered. So what does this make me? Where does it leave me? Us? An empty ache leads me to the bathroom the second Tommy and Heather take off down the aisle. Feel like he's walking away from me. This pain has to go. It all hurts too fucking much. I'm still expected to give some fucking speech to the goddamn newlyweds.
What the fuck does tommy expect me to fucking say? Congratulations. Best of wishes. The words that danced in my head play out nothing like that. No they sounded something more like, “Heather, I'll keep him warm when you're away. Tommy, can't wait to get you back on the road. Heather, may you find all the happiness you deserve. Tommy, if married life don't work out you always have me. Heather, I'm in love with your husband and he's in love with me. Tommy, you've broke my fucking heart.”
I was so fucking trashed by the time it came for to me to give my speech and I got it all fucking wrong. I was supposed to raise my glass and simply say, “May all your ups and downs be in bed.” Well I raised he glass of champagne and fucking dropped it. Then my words came slurring out in the language of smack. Everyone could look at me and tell I was a junkie. But I didn't give a fuck. The person they all loved wasn't now married to someone else.
Eventually Tommy pulls me aside. “Dude what the fuck is wrong with you showing up like this to my fucking wedding bro? Everybody keeps asking me what the fuck is wrong with my best man.”
I look to his with tears and reach forward and drag him into my embrace.”Di you have any fucking clue how much today hurts me?” I ask. “I don't want to share you.”
Tommy give me some form of a sympathetic look. “Just pull it the fuck together bro...please,” he says backing away from me and returning to his guests. Just leaving me standing there all alone and hurting.
Didn't he know how desperately I needed him to hold me and kiss me. I needed to know it was all going to be ok. I needed his reassurance, his comfort, his touch. But today he seemed to have eyes only for her. Fuck I hadn't even got to kiss the groom. Yeah, today ranks pretty highly on my scale of shitty fucking days.
Tommy's POV
Nikki looked fucking awful all fucking broken and smacked out. He's made a complete wreck of this wedding, stumbling and slurring and shit. I had to make excuses for him all day. Heather was beyond pissed.
From the look in his eyes I know he needs me. God I wish I could go to him. Wish I could hold him and promise him it was only him. But I couldn't. Not today. So I had to sit back with a fake smile and pretend to be the happy newlywed. I'm not happy. Nikki isn't the only one hurting here.
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