Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Thinking About You
(2.4)
WICKED GAME
"/Why are you being so nice to me?"/
Sakura reached for a pack of cheese flavored chips and placed it in a basket with all the other junk food she got.
She made one last stop at the cold beverages and took out one of the cooled energy drink before proceeding to the counter of the convenient store.
As she approached the cashier, her phone rang.
She slowly placed the items on the counter and took out her phone and her wallet. She answered the call as the employee ran the products over the prize scanner.
"Ino-pig? What's the matter? I was with you just up until a few moments ago."
"Yeah sorry, I forgot to ask you something. Mom needs to know right now, if you're available this summer."
"Available... for what?"
"How do you feel about helping us out in the flower shop this summer vacation?"
"I can't.", she answered as she pulled out a bill from her wallet and handed it to the cashier.
"Thought so. I bet you're planning to spend the entire break cramming for college entrance exams."
"Well there's that too."
"That too?!"
Sakura accepted her change and picked up the grocery bag that now contained her purchase.
"Am I missing something here?"
She moved away from the counter to give way to the person behind her. She held the phone between her shoulder and right cheek so she could put away her wallet.
"Did you actually have something planned out for this summer?"
Sakura straightened herself as she held the phone by hand again then walked towards the exit. "I was actually planning to help-"
['Sasuke-kun?']
Sakura recognized one of two boys across the street. She was looking at his back but she could easily tell that it was him.
['I know it's him. Of course, I can tell that it's him. But that's only because… the boy with him is that… Suigetsu guy, therefore making it sort of a dead giveaway. Yeah. That's it. Definitely 'not'… because I had burned the image of his back into my brain.']
She was about to call out to him but the memory of picturing herself holding onto Sasuke's arm bothered her so she decided against the act.
"Hello? Forehead? Are you still there?"
Ino's voice reminded her that she was still in the middle of a call.
"Huh? Ino, something came up. I'll call you when I get home, okay."
After Sakura ended the call, she pocketed her phone and turned to walk away.
"Sakura! Hey! SAKURA! Over here!"
She had to stop. She couldn't pretend she didn't hear Suigetsu.
She glanced back at their direction and found them looking at her. Suigetsu was even waving at her.
She got a good look at Sasuke.
['So this is what Sasuke-kun's like at night. … While he's weak in the morning; groggy and irritable, he seemed full of life at night. These night lights even made him more attractive.']
She remembered just how handsome he was no matter how simple he dressed. He was only wearing a plain white t-shirt, black straight jeans and an old pair of athletic shoes and yet he still outshined Suigetsu, who was wearing a fancy black tight-fitting v neck shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of Jordan.
['He looks good in anything.']
Sasuke's eyes met hers. Sakura anxiously broke the eye contact causing Sasuke to furrow his eyebrows.
Sakura's gaze locked on to her red converse as she reached for her braids. She then realized she must look stupid, feeling for her braids when her hair was actually tied in a pony tail that time.
When she decided to look back at the two boys, she saw that they were already crossing the street.
...
Sakura was not able to stop herself from flashing him a fake smile. "Hi." she greeted him and Suigetsu as they walked towards her.
['Uh-oh. He hates it when I do that.']
Sakura knew Sasuke knows when she's faking a smile.
"Hn.", he grunted. "What are you doing out this late? And… in only that?"
And she knew he was talking about the lack of layers in her clothing. She only wore a red sleeveless shirt under her black jumper.
['Seriously?']
"I- I was just with Ino. Then, I decided to buy some... stuff before I go home.", she explained.
"Us too." Suigetsu lifted the paper bags he held for emphasis. "For the bar."
Sasuke's eyes however, were on the plastic bag 'she' held.
She felt compelled to inform him of the contents. "Snacks… for an all-nighter."
['Oops.']
"An all-nighter?", asked Sasuke. "What for? It's Sunday tomorrow. Don't you think you're working a little too hard? Give yourself a break."
"Didn't you tell me to do my own studying?"
"Aa. But every time I looked at you this past week you have your face buried in a book."
['That was because I didn't want to look at you.']
"Uhm~"
"Is this for one of Sasori's homework again?"
Sakura answered his question with a weak nod.
"Eh? Who's Sasori?", inquired Suigetsu.
Sakura kept her head lowered but slowly lifted her gaze to glance at Sasuke's face.
['Is he upset?']
When her eyes were on Sasuke's chin, she decided to look away.
['Wait! Why would he be? And why should I care if he is?']
Suigetsu pressed on. "Ne, Sakura, who's this Sasori?"
"Her boyfriend.", said Sasuke.
"He's not-" Sakura quickly faced Sasuke to correct him "my boyfriend… yet."
They're eyes met again. She looked away again.
['Damn it.']
"Yet? So, do you want him to be your boyfriend or not?", Suigetsu wondered, genuinely curious.
"I do!", she answered him just to shut him up. "I- I gotta get home. And, Orochimaru-san probably needs those." she pointed at the bags Sasuke was carrying.
"Yeah. You're right. Later then.", said Suigetsu.
"Goodnight.", bid Sakura. Then without waiting for Sasuke to respond she quickly turned around and walked away.
"Sasuke?"
She heard Suigetsu say, followed by the rustling sounds of the paper bags. Then she heard footsteps and felt someone's presence behind her.
She sighed heavily then immediately caught the scent of Sasuke's cologne as soon as she inhaled.
"I'll walk you to the bus stop.", he told her.
She stopped. "No! There's no need to. I'm-"
"I can tell you want to be alone right now. But you don't have the right to ask me to take a hint and leave you be."
Sakura had no answer to that. She continued on her way with Sasuke trailing a few steps behind her. His legs are longer than hers so he would eventually catch up to her every now and then. But then he would slow down and fall behind just to give her as much space as he felt she needed.
['Why?']
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sakura was surprised at herself. She hadn't intended to voice out her thoughts.
"Me? Being nice? I haven't heard that one before."
Sakura suddenly stopped. Sasuke stops a few seconds later and ends up standing beside her. She turned to face him. "But you are!", she yelled at him.
"Am I?"
"Yes! You're awfully being nice! And the fact that you're not even aware of it makes it more... /frustrating/!", she stressed.
Sasuke took a moment to study her features before speaking. "Okay. But I thought the word 'nice' had a positive connotation. You seem to be disappointed. You're upset."
She felt her cheeks go warm. She wasn't sure if it was because she was somewhat angry or that she just raised her voice at him or because of what she had actually told him. Or maybe because at that moment, she was looking up at him and he was looking back at her. She ended up averting her eyes again.
Sasuke kept his gaze at her. "Are my actions really making you uncomfortable? You're the one who said you would pull on me. And now I'm… gravitating towards you-"
"Don't say it like /that/!"
"Are you really bothered by it?"
"It's just that... it's making me feel like... I'm such a /horrible person/."
"..."
Sakura pointed a finger at him. "You! You're the guy everyone hates for no reason at all. But you turned out to be such a nice guy." Then she pointed at herself. "I on the other hand, have no excuse to be such a bitch but I am anyways. And everyone who hates me is just waiting for a chance or looking for an excuse to slap me in the face."
"I thought you said you didn't care if anyone hated you?"
Sakura scowled.
['He didn't even pretend to deny that I was a bitch. Wait! Why am I disappointed?']
She began to walk away from him again.
['Shouldn't I be happy he's not trying to comfort me.'?]
"For whatever it's worth.", he spoke. "I'm not on that list yet."
Sakura was both surprised and moved.
['There it is. How is it that he can say something so heartwarming without even trying?']
"Some people will eventually just find themselves hating you whether or not you do something to directly merit their hate. And you will find yourself hating others as well. Isn't that normal?
Hate isn't such a bad thing. It's because we know what it's like to hate some things that we truly understand how it feels like to love something."
Sakura snorted. "Sorry! ... That was just… It's just sort of weird to hear something like that from you. … Wait. Hold on. You just said… you don't hate me so, are you're implying that you… actually love me?" she had the nerve to joke about it despite her confusion.
"You revoked my liberty to love you. Remember?"
Sakura found herself turning around to look at him. She was not expecting him to tease her back. And she was definitely not expecting him to do it with a smirk on his face. "Did you just-"
"And to answer your question; I honestly wasn't aware I was being 'awfully' nice.", he quoted. "I thought I was tolerating you at best."
['Smooth. You played that cool Uchiha!']
"But if you say so, then I guess I am being very considerate of you, aren't I? And I guess, it's because your circumstance and mine are somewhat similar.", he continued.
"How?"
Sasuke walked on and it was his turn to lead the way. "You want to go to college but your parents think it's not necessary and want something else for you. Well, I too have something I want to do. But my family thinks it's... pointless."
"Is that why you left home?"
"Aa."
"Oh. I- I could never bring myself to run away from home even if my parents don't understand how important it is for me that I go to college. Is your circumstance that bad?"
"It depends on how you look at it."
"If it's okay, can you tell me more about it?"
Sasuke shrugged. "My brother was adopted by my grandfather. He raised Itachi to become his heir but, now that he's also gone; my grandfather now expects me to fill the space that he had originally intended for him.
It's not such a bad thing really. It's just that... I'm not ready. Before I fill up Itachi's empty space, I want to fill mine first. There's something I have to do first, or else I won't be able to move on with my life.
But my grandfather doesn't understand that. He thinks my objective is a waste of my time and his resources and if I insist on pursuing it, I'd have to do it without his financial help. He also threatened my uncle's privileges should he support me, so I moved out of the house."
"Your uncle; he's your guardian?"
"Aa. He can't afford to suffer a financial crisis especially now that he's planning to start a family of his own."
"So you didn't run away from home?"
"Hn. I can go back whenever, but it means I'd have to give up on my goal."
"And Kakashi-sensei was completely aware of your circumstance?"
"Aa."
"Does Naruto know?"
"Hn." he shook his head. "When my brother asked me to keep his condition a secret from everyone, I hadn't had the chance to talk to him. And everything went downhill from there."
"You know, Naruto was upset with you for keeping your brother's condition a secret from him?"
Sakura gave Sasuke a moment to react to what she had just said. When he did not make any effort to avoid talking about Naruto, Sakura continued.
"But he seemed more upset with himself because he knew he wouldn't have made a bigger effort to fix things between the two of you if he hadn't learned of your brother's death."
"Did he tell you that?"
"In a way… Is it really impossible to go back to the way you two were?"
"His peers aren't that fond of me. I can't just walk over to his group of friends and have them accept me all of a sudden. I'm not keen on bonding with the lot of them myself. But I'm not so conceited as to pull Naruto away from them just to have my best friend back."
"But is it really okay to just leave things the way they are now?"
"I know you're concerned but it's for us to figure out on our own."
The two of them reached the bus stop. Sakura sat at the bench. When Sasuke followed suit, he left the usual space he kept between them.
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Hm?"
"Is it okay if I ask you what it is that you want to do?"
It took a few good seconds for him to answer her. "To play one last game with my brother."
Sakura was about to open her mouth but then she decided to stay silent.
['I thought of so many questions I wanted to ask him. And I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to ask him. But...
Sakura stared at Sasuke as he looked onwards. He seemed like he was in such a faraway place.
... If I ask him, I might ruin his mood. … That gentle expression on his face. I want him to keep it... even if it's only for a little bit longer.']
...
A pregnant woman soon joined them on the shed. Sasuke immediately stood up and had her take his place on the bench. He moved to the back of the bench and stood behind Sakura.
['Being considerate huh? He really is a nice guy. It's not like I'm special.']
/"Sasuke-kun is like an unreachable entity. I supposed it made people think that; if you were acknowledged by him, you must be someone very special."/
Sakura felt both relieved and lonely.
...
The bus arrived and the pregnant woman made a move to get on it.
Sakura also stood up.
['No. This is wrong. I'm not supposed to be his friend. I'm supposed to be blunt with him even if I end up hurting him. Even if he ends up hating me.']
"Aren't you getting on?", Sasuke wondered.
"Sasuke-kun.", murmured Sakura.
['It's something only I can do.']
"Even though you just told me that we are similar. Even though you just shared something very personal. Even though I understand your situation… I still think it's for the best that you come home."
Sasuke's eyes followed the bus as it drove off.
"I understand that there's something you want to do for your brother. And it's something you probably feel you need to do for your own peace of mind as well. But if doing it means that you have to be alone. That you have to lose your friends or your family… Is it really something that your parents or your brother would want you to go through with?
['But it's fine. I can do this. I will do this. After all, I am a horrible person.']
I'm sorry. I should probably comfort you and tell you; 'I know exactly how you feel' but instead I'm… I'm just really worried about you. I just want you to be happy with your friends and family. I want you to LIVE.
Itachi- Your brother- He's gone now. But Naruto, he's here. Kakashi-sensei is here. Karin is here. Your uncle and your grandfather is here.
['I'm sorry! I'm sorry if it hurts! I'm sorry if it offends you! But please... Endure it. And take these words to heart.']
And…
/"She's got you now as well."/
Me too. I'm here for you too. Let's do our best. Let's just do what we can do for now. And right now we're still young. Let's just focus on getting through high school. Then college. And then when we're older; more matured and more able, we can truly be independent.
You don't really have to rush the idea of completing yourself as a person. You don't have to do it alone either. I promise, I'll still be here for you. I'll help you then. Fill that space.
Even if this world forces you to become someone else. I'll still remember the 'you from this time. I'll remember you as just Sasuke-kun. And I'll remind you just how perfect you are as just you."
Sasuke stayed silent the whole time.
Sakura was suddenly afraid to turn around and find out what his reaction was to everything she had just said. "Sasuke-kun?", she reluctantly spoke.
He chuckled.
Sakura quickly turned around before she even realized she now had the courage to face him and saw that he was 'smiling'.
/"Sasuke-kun had a beautiful smile."/
['He's so... beautiful.
Why? Why do I suddenly feel like he could just absorb my entire being into his own?
She was grateful for the bench between them.
If it weren't for this obstacle... I would've been sucked in. I would've melted.']
"I swear! Everything that comes from your mouth, sounds like a confession.", he said. "If I didn't know about Sasori, you would've stirred something up in my heart long ago."
Sakura blushed heavily. She had to cover her face with her hands in an attempt to hide it from him. "Damn it. Uchiha! Save your flirting for Karin!"
['It's my heart that's being stirred by you! And I just got the whole thing out of my head too.']
"You're the one who's bad for my heart! You're a natural flirt aren't you?!"
"No! Seriously though, now I'm just curious; how did you confess to Sasori? It must've been really romantic?"
"I- I just straight up told him! No! Why am I telling you that?!... You're obviously just changing the subject!"
Sasuke held up his hand. "Right. You caught me." He lowered his hand and placed it inside his pockets. "Thank you."
Once again, he surprised her. "For what?"
"For saying the words I didn't even know I needed to hear.", he said with a soft expression.
Sakura smiled.
['You make me want to forget being me. You make me want to just become a part of you!
So this is... the Uchiha Sasuke.']
Another bus arrived.
"Please tell me you're getting on that one… I'm really late for work."
Sakura laughed. "Yeah. I am. Thanks for walking with me and for talking with me. I'll see you on Monday." Sakura picked up her grocery bag.
"Something wrong?", asked Sasuke because she still hadn't move towards the bus.
"Ah. No. Bye then.", she told him then made a move to get on the bus.
['No 'get home safe' this time?']
.
.
.
As soon as she sat down, she looked out the window and saw Sasuke walking away while typing something on his phone.
The bus moved forward and she felt her phone vibrated in her pocket.
It was a message from Sasuke;
Message me when you get home.
If Sakura had monstrous strength, she would have crushed her phone with how tight she held it as she covered her blushing face.
She straightened herself up when she noticed that some of the passengers' attention was on her.
Her phone vibrated again and she wanted to slap herself for being too eager to read the new message.
Her enthusiasm somehow diminished when she learned that the new message was from Sasori.
How's it coming along?
Sakura started typing a reply.
I got started on it but I'm just taking a break. I hung out with Ino for a while but I'm already on my way home.
She sent it and didn't even expect him to reply. When her phone vibrated again, she wasn't that keen on reading the new message.
I see. Just e-mail it to me when you're done. Night.
Sakura put away her phone and leaned her head on the window.
['A part of me should be happy that Sasori messaged me. But why do I feel like…
She sighed.
I wished that this night just ended with Sasuke-kun's message as the last thing on my mind."]
~/I guess my problem's always been/
Giving people everything
And expecting the same
He said he didn't do commitment
With tattoos on his skin
Maybe I wasn't worth the pain
Oh if only I, I could verbalise
What's really going on
I internalise and I don't know why
But it's taking its toll
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
I keep my words inside my lungs
Bottle it all up
I've heard that's what the broken do
I don't know how to ask for help
Teach me to be someone else
Teach me to be somebody new
I've been thinking about death
But I'll hold my breath
And I'll bite my tongue
These are dark, dark times
But I know that I
I will be what I become
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
/(WICKED GAME - Lauren Aquilina)/~
She saw her own reflection as she stared into the glass.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sakura looked beyond her reflection and saw her stop coming up ahead.
The vehicle stopped.
She had been standing by the mechanical door of the train, waiting for it to open.
The door opened. She picked up her suitcase and stepped into the light.
The mechanical door closed behind her.
.
.
.
/Noir/
.
.
.
/TBC/
WICKED GAME
"/Why are you being so nice to me?"/
Sakura reached for a pack of cheese flavored chips and placed it in a basket with all the other junk food she got.
She made one last stop at the cold beverages and took out one of the cooled energy drink before proceeding to the counter of the convenient store.
As she approached the cashier, her phone rang.
She slowly placed the items on the counter and took out her phone and her wallet. She answered the call as the employee ran the products over the prize scanner.
"Ino-pig? What's the matter? I was with you just up until a few moments ago."
"Yeah sorry, I forgot to ask you something. Mom needs to know right now, if you're available this summer."
"Available... for what?"
"How do you feel about helping us out in the flower shop this summer vacation?"
"I can't.", she answered as she pulled out a bill from her wallet and handed it to the cashier.
"Thought so. I bet you're planning to spend the entire break cramming for college entrance exams."
"Well there's that too."
"That too?!"
Sakura accepted her change and picked up the grocery bag that now contained her purchase.
"Am I missing something here?"
She moved away from the counter to give way to the person behind her. She held the phone between her shoulder and right cheek so she could put away her wallet.
"Did you actually have something planned out for this summer?"
Sakura straightened herself as she held the phone by hand again then walked towards the exit. "I was actually planning to help-"
['Sasuke-kun?']
Sakura recognized one of two boys across the street. She was looking at his back but she could easily tell that it was him.
['I know it's him. Of course, I can tell that it's him. But that's only because… the boy with him is that… Suigetsu guy, therefore making it sort of a dead giveaway. Yeah. That's it. Definitely 'not'… because I had burned the image of his back into my brain.']
She was about to call out to him but the memory of picturing herself holding onto Sasuke's arm bothered her so she decided against the act.
"Hello? Forehead? Are you still there?"
Ino's voice reminded her that she was still in the middle of a call.
"Huh? Ino, something came up. I'll call you when I get home, okay."
After Sakura ended the call, she pocketed her phone and turned to walk away.
"Sakura! Hey! SAKURA! Over here!"
She had to stop. She couldn't pretend she didn't hear Suigetsu.
She glanced back at their direction and found them looking at her. Suigetsu was even waving at her.
She got a good look at Sasuke.
['So this is what Sasuke-kun's like at night. … While he's weak in the morning; groggy and irritable, he seemed full of life at night. These night lights even made him more attractive.']
She remembered just how handsome he was no matter how simple he dressed. He was only wearing a plain white t-shirt, black straight jeans and an old pair of athletic shoes and yet he still outshined Suigetsu, who was wearing a fancy black tight-fitting v neck shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of Jordan.
['He looks good in anything.']
Sasuke's eyes met hers. Sakura anxiously broke the eye contact causing Sasuke to furrow his eyebrows.
Sakura's gaze locked on to her red converse as she reached for her braids. She then realized she must look stupid, feeling for her braids when her hair was actually tied in a pony tail that time.
When she decided to look back at the two boys, she saw that they were already crossing the street.
...
Sakura was not able to stop herself from flashing him a fake smile. "Hi." she greeted him and Suigetsu as they walked towards her.
['Uh-oh. He hates it when I do that.']
Sakura knew Sasuke knows when she's faking a smile.
"Hn.", he grunted. "What are you doing out this late? And… in only that?"
And she knew he was talking about the lack of layers in her clothing. She only wore a red sleeveless shirt under her black jumper.
['Seriously?']
"I- I was just with Ino. Then, I decided to buy some... stuff before I go home.", she explained.
"Us too." Suigetsu lifted the paper bags he held for emphasis. "For the bar."
Sasuke's eyes however, were on the plastic bag 'she' held.
She felt compelled to inform him of the contents. "Snacks… for an all-nighter."
['Oops.']
"An all-nighter?", asked Sasuke. "What for? It's Sunday tomorrow. Don't you think you're working a little too hard? Give yourself a break."
"Didn't you tell me to do my own studying?"
"Aa. But every time I looked at you this past week you have your face buried in a book."
['That was because I didn't want to look at you.']
"Uhm~"
"Is this for one of Sasori's homework again?"
Sakura answered his question with a weak nod.
"Eh? Who's Sasori?", inquired Suigetsu.
Sakura kept her head lowered but slowly lifted her gaze to glance at Sasuke's face.
['Is he upset?']
When her eyes were on Sasuke's chin, she decided to look away.
['Wait! Why would he be? And why should I care if he is?']
Suigetsu pressed on. "Ne, Sakura, who's this Sasori?"
"Her boyfriend.", said Sasuke.
"He's not-" Sakura quickly faced Sasuke to correct him "my boyfriend… yet."
They're eyes met again. She looked away again.
['Damn it.']
"Yet? So, do you want him to be your boyfriend or not?", Suigetsu wondered, genuinely curious.
"I do!", she answered him just to shut him up. "I- I gotta get home. And, Orochimaru-san probably needs those." she pointed at the bags Sasuke was carrying.
"Yeah. You're right. Later then.", said Suigetsu.
"Goodnight.", bid Sakura. Then without waiting for Sasuke to respond she quickly turned around and walked away.
"Sasuke?"
She heard Suigetsu say, followed by the rustling sounds of the paper bags. Then she heard footsteps and felt someone's presence behind her.
She sighed heavily then immediately caught the scent of Sasuke's cologne as soon as she inhaled.
"I'll walk you to the bus stop.", he told her.
She stopped. "No! There's no need to. I'm-"
"I can tell you want to be alone right now. But you don't have the right to ask me to take a hint and leave you be."
Sakura had no answer to that. She continued on her way with Sasuke trailing a few steps behind her. His legs are longer than hers so he would eventually catch up to her every now and then. But then he would slow down and fall behind just to give her as much space as he felt she needed.
['Why?']
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sakura was surprised at herself. She hadn't intended to voice out her thoughts.
"Me? Being nice? I haven't heard that one before."
Sakura suddenly stopped. Sasuke stops a few seconds later and ends up standing beside her. She turned to face him. "But you are!", she yelled at him.
"Am I?"
"Yes! You're awfully being nice! And the fact that you're not even aware of it makes it more... /frustrating/!", she stressed.
Sasuke took a moment to study her features before speaking. "Okay. But I thought the word 'nice' had a positive connotation. You seem to be disappointed. You're upset."
She felt her cheeks go warm. She wasn't sure if it was because she was somewhat angry or that she just raised her voice at him or because of what she had actually told him. Or maybe because at that moment, she was looking up at him and he was looking back at her. She ended up averting her eyes again.
Sasuke kept his gaze at her. "Are my actions really making you uncomfortable? You're the one who said you would pull on me. And now I'm… gravitating towards you-"
"Don't say it like /that/!"
"Are you really bothered by it?"
"It's just that... it's making me feel like... I'm such a /horrible person/."
"..."
Sakura pointed a finger at him. "You! You're the guy everyone hates for no reason at all. But you turned out to be such a nice guy." Then she pointed at herself. "I on the other hand, have no excuse to be such a bitch but I am anyways. And everyone who hates me is just waiting for a chance or looking for an excuse to slap me in the face."
"I thought you said you didn't care if anyone hated you?"
Sakura scowled.
['He didn't even pretend to deny that I was a bitch. Wait! Why am I disappointed?']
She began to walk away from him again.
['Shouldn't I be happy he's not trying to comfort me.'?]
"For whatever it's worth.", he spoke. "I'm not on that list yet."
Sakura was both surprised and moved.
['There it is. How is it that he can say something so heartwarming without even trying?']
"Some people will eventually just find themselves hating you whether or not you do something to directly merit their hate. And you will find yourself hating others as well. Isn't that normal?
Hate isn't such a bad thing. It's because we know what it's like to hate some things that we truly understand how it feels like to love something."
Sakura snorted. "Sorry! ... That was just… It's just sort of weird to hear something like that from you. … Wait. Hold on. You just said… you don't hate me so, are you're implying that you… actually love me?" she had the nerve to joke about it despite her confusion.
"You revoked my liberty to love you. Remember?"
Sakura found herself turning around to look at him. She was not expecting him to tease her back. And she was definitely not expecting him to do it with a smirk on his face. "Did you just-"
"And to answer your question; I honestly wasn't aware I was being 'awfully' nice.", he quoted. "I thought I was tolerating you at best."
['Smooth. You played that cool Uchiha!']
"But if you say so, then I guess I am being very considerate of you, aren't I? And I guess, it's because your circumstance and mine are somewhat similar.", he continued.
"How?"
Sasuke walked on and it was his turn to lead the way. "You want to go to college but your parents think it's not necessary and want something else for you. Well, I too have something I want to do. But my family thinks it's... pointless."
"Is that why you left home?"
"Aa."
"Oh. I- I could never bring myself to run away from home even if my parents don't understand how important it is for me that I go to college. Is your circumstance that bad?"
"It depends on how you look at it."
"If it's okay, can you tell me more about it?"
Sasuke shrugged. "My brother was adopted by my grandfather. He raised Itachi to become his heir but, now that he's also gone; my grandfather now expects me to fill the space that he had originally intended for him.
It's not such a bad thing really. It's just that... I'm not ready. Before I fill up Itachi's empty space, I want to fill mine first. There's something I have to do first, or else I won't be able to move on with my life.
But my grandfather doesn't understand that. He thinks my objective is a waste of my time and his resources and if I insist on pursuing it, I'd have to do it without his financial help. He also threatened my uncle's privileges should he support me, so I moved out of the house."
"Your uncle; he's your guardian?"
"Aa. He can't afford to suffer a financial crisis especially now that he's planning to start a family of his own."
"So you didn't run away from home?"
"Hn. I can go back whenever, but it means I'd have to give up on my goal."
"And Kakashi-sensei was completely aware of your circumstance?"
"Aa."
"Does Naruto know?"
"Hn." he shook his head. "When my brother asked me to keep his condition a secret from everyone, I hadn't had the chance to talk to him. And everything went downhill from there."
"You know, Naruto was upset with you for keeping your brother's condition a secret from him?"
Sakura gave Sasuke a moment to react to what she had just said. When he did not make any effort to avoid talking about Naruto, Sakura continued.
"But he seemed more upset with himself because he knew he wouldn't have made a bigger effort to fix things between the two of you if he hadn't learned of your brother's death."
"Did he tell you that?"
"In a way… Is it really impossible to go back to the way you two were?"
"His peers aren't that fond of me. I can't just walk over to his group of friends and have them accept me all of a sudden. I'm not keen on bonding with the lot of them myself. But I'm not so conceited as to pull Naruto away from them just to have my best friend back."
"But is it really okay to just leave things the way they are now?"
"I know you're concerned but it's for us to figure out on our own."
The two of them reached the bus stop. Sakura sat at the bench. When Sasuke followed suit, he left the usual space he kept between them.
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Hm?"
"Is it okay if I ask you what it is that you want to do?"
It took a few good seconds for him to answer her. "To play one last game with my brother."
Sakura was about to open her mouth but then she decided to stay silent.
['I thought of so many questions I wanted to ask him. And I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to ask him. But...
Sakura stared at Sasuke as he looked onwards. He seemed like he was in such a faraway place.
... If I ask him, I might ruin his mood. … That gentle expression on his face. I want him to keep it... even if it's only for a little bit longer.']
...
A pregnant woman soon joined them on the shed. Sasuke immediately stood up and had her take his place on the bench. He moved to the back of the bench and stood behind Sakura.
['Being considerate huh? He really is a nice guy. It's not like I'm special.']
/"Sasuke-kun is like an unreachable entity. I supposed it made people think that; if you were acknowledged by him, you must be someone very special."/
Sakura felt both relieved and lonely.
...
The bus arrived and the pregnant woman made a move to get on it.
Sakura also stood up.
['No. This is wrong. I'm not supposed to be his friend. I'm supposed to be blunt with him even if I end up hurting him. Even if he ends up hating me.']
"Aren't you getting on?", Sasuke wondered.
"Sasuke-kun.", murmured Sakura.
['It's something only I can do.']
"Even though you just told me that we are similar. Even though you just shared something very personal. Even though I understand your situation… I still think it's for the best that you come home."
Sasuke's eyes followed the bus as it drove off.
"I understand that there's something you want to do for your brother. And it's something you probably feel you need to do for your own peace of mind as well. But if doing it means that you have to be alone. That you have to lose your friends or your family… Is it really something that your parents or your brother would want you to go through with?
['But it's fine. I can do this. I will do this. After all, I am a horrible person.']
I'm sorry. I should probably comfort you and tell you; 'I know exactly how you feel' but instead I'm… I'm just really worried about you. I just want you to be happy with your friends and family. I want you to LIVE.
Itachi- Your brother- He's gone now. But Naruto, he's here. Kakashi-sensei is here. Karin is here. Your uncle and your grandfather is here.
['I'm sorry! I'm sorry if it hurts! I'm sorry if it offends you! But please... Endure it. And take these words to heart.']
And…
/"She's got you now as well."/
Me too. I'm here for you too. Let's do our best. Let's just do what we can do for now. And right now we're still young. Let's just focus on getting through high school. Then college. And then when we're older; more matured and more able, we can truly be independent.
You don't really have to rush the idea of completing yourself as a person. You don't have to do it alone either. I promise, I'll still be here for you. I'll help you then. Fill that space.
Even if this world forces you to become someone else. I'll still remember the 'you from this time. I'll remember you as just Sasuke-kun. And I'll remind you just how perfect you are as just you."
Sasuke stayed silent the whole time.
Sakura was suddenly afraid to turn around and find out what his reaction was to everything she had just said. "Sasuke-kun?", she reluctantly spoke.
He chuckled.
Sakura quickly turned around before she even realized she now had the courage to face him and saw that he was 'smiling'.
/"Sasuke-kun had a beautiful smile."/
['He's so... beautiful.
Why? Why do I suddenly feel like he could just absorb my entire being into his own?
She was grateful for the bench between them.
If it weren't for this obstacle... I would've been sucked in. I would've melted.']
"I swear! Everything that comes from your mouth, sounds like a confession.", he said. "If I didn't know about Sasori, you would've stirred something up in my heart long ago."
Sakura blushed heavily. She had to cover her face with her hands in an attempt to hide it from him. "Damn it. Uchiha! Save your flirting for Karin!"
['It's my heart that's being stirred by you! And I just got the whole thing out of my head too.']
"You're the one who's bad for my heart! You're a natural flirt aren't you?!"
"No! Seriously though, now I'm just curious; how did you confess to Sasori? It must've been really romantic?"
"I- I just straight up told him! No! Why am I telling you that?!... You're obviously just changing the subject!"
Sasuke held up his hand. "Right. You caught me." He lowered his hand and placed it inside his pockets. "Thank you."
Once again, he surprised her. "For what?"
"For saying the words I didn't even know I needed to hear.", he said with a soft expression.
Sakura smiled.
['You make me want to forget being me. You make me want to just become a part of you!
So this is... the Uchiha Sasuke.']
Another bus arrived.
"Please tell me you're getting on that one… I'm really late for work."
Sakura laughed. "Yeah. I am. Thanks for walking with me and for talking with me. I'll see you on Monday." Sakura picked up her grocery bag.
"Something wrong?", asked Sasuke because she still hadn't move towards the bus.
"Ah. No. Bye then.", she told him then made a move to get on the bus.
['No 'get home safe' this time?']
.
.
.
As soon as she sat down, she looked out the window and saw Sasuke walking away while typing something on his phone.
The bus moved forward and she felt her phone vibrated in her pocket.
It was a message from Sasuke;
Message me when you get home.
If Sakura had monstrous strength, she would have crushed her phone with how tight she held it as she covered her blushing face.
She straightened herself up when she noticed that some of the passengers' attention was on her.
Her phone vibrated again and she wanted to slap herself for being too eager to read the new message.
Her enthusiasm somehow diminished when she learned that the new message was from Sasori.
How's it coming along?
Sakura started typing a reply.
I got started on it but I'm just taking a break. I hung out with Ino for a while but I'm already on my way home.
She sent it and didn't even expect him to reply. When her phone vibrated again, she wasn't that keen on reading the new message.
I see. Just e-mail it to me when you're done. Night.
Sakura put away her phone and leaned her head on the window.
['A part of me should be happy that Sasori messaged me. But why do I feel like…
She sighed.
I wished that this night just ended with Sasuke-kun's message as the last thing on my mind."]
~/I guess my problem's always been/
Giving people everything
And expecting the same
He said he didn't do commitment
With tattoos on his skin
Maybe I wasn't worth the pain
Oh if only I, I could verbalise
What's really going on
I internalise and I don't know why
But it's taking its toll
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
I keep my words inside my lungs
Bottle it all up
I've heard that's what the broken do
I don't know how to ask for help
Teach me to be someone else
Teach me to be somebody new
I've been thinking about death
But I'll hold my breath
And I'll bite my tongue
These are dark, dark times
But I know that I
I will be what I become
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Nobody ever taught me to play
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Where everything
Is just too much and I'm never enough
This Wicked Game
This wicked, Wicked Game
/(WICKED GAME - Lauren Aquilina)/~
She saw her own reflection as she stared into the glass.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sakura looked beyond her reflection and saw her stop coming up ahead.
The vehicle stopped.
She had been standing by the mechanical door of the train, waiting for it to open.
The door opened. She picked up her suitcase and stepped into the light.
The mechanical door closed behind her.
.
.
.
/Noir/
.
.
.
/TBC/
Sign up to rate and review this story