Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not Sure If This Matters

Chapter 8- Oh Go Shit on a Cracker, White Boy

by moocow 4 reviews

Ok, kinda sad at the end, but it's sorta a filler too. But a filler that you have to read. and pay attention to.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Humor - Warnings: [!!!] [?] - Published: 2006-09-16 - Updated: 2006-09-16 - 1611 words

Christmas sucked.

New Years sucked /more/.

Valentines Day was worse and forget about the regular jokes on April fool's day.

Everything was forgotten as the fight was never resolved. Ashley kept quiet about everything and would hardly talk, even to me. More and more she would visit the hospital, and it just seemed like she didn't want to fight the cancer anymore. The last time I remember seeing Pete was a while ago when I promised Patrick to go to one of their shows. That's another thing, I felt so, in-the-middle about things- I couldn't stop the madness.

So it was now graduation. Senior year ended in the most depressing way possible- Ashley not being able to come to her own graduation for she was in the hospital. In hopes that I could keep it a secret, I stayed home as well, and just grabbed my diploma the previous day, not telling Joe or Patrick exactly why I was staying home.

Life had changed.

Changed for the worse.


I watched as Ashley ran her fingers across the plaque- her diploma shining in the lamp light above us.

"I never expected it to be like this," she whispered and I sighed, glancing down at mine.

"Ashley, we promised we would be strong," I replied and she tightened her eyes shut and breathed in.

"We promised we wouldn't keep secrets too, and look where it got us," I arched an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked and Ashley shook her head.

"Jenny, I have to tell you something about Homecoming," I tilted my head slightly and bit my lip.

What was she hiding?

"Like what?" I asked slowly and she took a deep breath.

"Well, back then, you know, I was still with Pete," I nodded once and looked at her as she played with a rip in her jeans.

"Ashley," I spoke and she nodded, going on.

"Well, after we left, we...we were at this hotel room that he had gotten originally for Patrick and you, but figured you'd be better off here," I nodded, slightly smiling at that night- how I crashed in the hallway with Patrick.

"Go on," I pushed and she swallowed hard.

"Jenny, I... um," I widened my eyes.

"You /didn't/," I started and shook my head. "You didn't let him," I whispered next and Ashley bit her lip, head dropping in somewhat shame.

"Jenny, Pete took my virginity, without knowing it," she whispered and I gulped.

You'd think he'd know these things.

"So, he pretty much takes you for a whore, huh?" Ashley took a deep breath.

"Andy told me that he already thinks I've moved on," I shook my head.

"That boy has the IQ of lint," Ashley smirked lightly and I giggled as she shook her head.

"Jenny, there is only one problem," I arched one eyebrow and Ashley took a deep breath.

"What?" I asked and she gulped and lowered her voice even more.

"Dumb-ass didn't," she paused and I parted my lips in realization. "He didn't use protection," she whispered and I frowned.

"There are some days when I wonder if that boy has a brain," Ashley sighed.

"Jenny, I was so scared for a while," I nodded and sighed.

"At least we know you're not pregnant," I said, tapping her tummy, then play frowning. "Right?" I asked and Ashley giggled before nodding.

"Yeah, everything is...well, ok with that," she whispered and I gulped.

"When do you have you're next treatment?" I asked and Ashley smiled wide.

"Actually my last, they say it's going away," My eyes twinkled and I widened them slightly.

"Seriously? When?" I asked and she smiled.

"In two weeks," I nodded and sighed.

"Ashley, I'm so happy," I whispered and she nodded before we hugged.

Maybe I was getting my sister back.


"Why are you so happy all of a sudden?" Joe asked as we grabbed our snow cones from the vendor in the park in the city.

"Just, things for me are kind of looking up," Joe nodded and I smiled as his phone rang.

"Hey man, yea, we're actually in the city right now," he paused and laughed. "We're as in Jenny and I," I smiled at the sound of my name and Joe paused again. "Alright, see you soon," He hung up and linked arms with me once more before leading us down the street to the crosswalk.

"Joe, where are you taking me?" I asked and he smirked.

"We're gonna go visit Patrick at his friend's shop," I nodded and slightly jumped as he dragged me forward across the street.

"What kind of shop?" I asked as we passed by the local diner.

"Music store. One of his friends from high school owns it and Patrick hanging out," I smiled as he slowed down and entered a building.

I pushed back my sunglasses and looked around. Up on the walls were tons of guitars and basses and over in the corner drum sets that looked like they either cost the guy a lot of money, or he just took care of them a little too much. Off in the distance I heard an acoustic and drifted away from Joe to go investigate. Smiling as I saw Patrick's oh-so-familiar hat, I listened as he lightly sang, almost mumbling.

"Patrick," I spoke and he literally twitched, his playing faltering before he tilted his head up, smiling as he noticed me.

"Hey short skirt," he commented and I huffed.

My skirt wasn't that short.

"Whatever, tight pants," I arched my eyebrows as I sat on the couch in front of the stool he was sitting on. "Wait, why are you wearing tight pants?" I asked and Patrick smirked.

"I spent the night at Pete's, and he pushed me in the pool, sowed me a new shirt and then shoved one of his pairs in my face," I laughed lightly and he put down his guitar.

"That's interesting, how does Patrick Jr. feel about it?" I joked and Patrick played along, never cracking a smile.

"Oh, he's perfectly fine, I mean, we're in Pete's pants," I laughed and saw Joe coming over.

"You guys are in Pete's pants?" he asked and shook his head.

"Well, sorta," Patrick replied, patting his legs. Joe nodded before looking around.

"Where's you're friend?" he asked and Patrick smiled.

"I have to lock up, his sister went into labor and he had to catch a plane back to Washington," Joe smirked and looked up at me.

"Not to burst your 'happy bubble' but, did you visit you're mom today?" he asked and I bit my lip.

"Um, no," I whispered and Patrick raised an eyebrow.

"Let's go now, I want to see her again," Joe mentioned and I nodded as we stood up, Patrick hanging the guitar up before grabbing the keys.

I watched as he locked up before following me down the road and into the light forest at the edge of Wilmette. My footsteps became slower as we reached the gates and I heard Patrick gasp lightly before even I could hear his gulp. Joe sighed sadly and gripped my hand like he used to, every time we would visit.

"Jenny," I heard Patrick as he quickened his steps to walk beside me. "I didn't expect this," he said and I bit my lip.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and he shook his head before taking my left hand as we stopped in an open field, it empty as the wind blew lightly, the leaves moaning in an eerie way, the only way a cemetery tree would. I bent down to my knees and sighed, brushing my fingertips over the dust and observing the name.

Anna Marie Daniela-Goodworst

"You have a very oxymoronic last name," Patrick commented and I sighed.

"I don't use my father's last name," I whispered and out of the corner of my eye I saw Joe using his finger to slice across his throat, and I could almost picture Patrick trembling. "It's ok Joe," I whispered again and he soon fell next to me, Patrick following him.

We all sat there, them watching me as I started at the black granite and the gold letter engraving, taking slow and shaky breaths every so often.

"My father and mother were very proud of us," I started and saw Joe nod. He had heard this story many of times before. Patrick bit his lip and saw me run over the date on my mother's grave.


"Jenny, your mom was so young," I nodded as Patrick mumbled.

"35, and yet he still had to do it," Patrick's eyes widened.

"What?" he asked and I saw Joe put a comforting hand on my shoulder as I took a shaky breath.

"Patrick, if you've noticed, Ashley and I live on our own..." he nodded and I continued. "When we were 16, our father killed our mother," Patrick's eyes instantly glazed over and Joe gripped my shoulder as one tear fell onto my mother's grave.

"Jenny, I...I don't know what to say," he whispered and I gulped.

"My dad's in jail and I can't forgive him for anything he's done. We have all his money, and it's still not enough," I shook my head and stood.

"Jenny?" Joe asked and I took a shaky breath.

"Huh?" I asked, wiping my tears.

"I ask you this every year but, are you ready to move on?" I looked at Joe and then Patrick before my mother's grave and the epitaph.

We all must stay strong- move along- and be happy.

I smiled and nodded once before smiling lightly, my eyes drying from the tears.

"I'm ready for anything,"
Sign up to rate and review this story