FicWad

I woke up to a pounding at the door. It was profusive and violent. I jumped out of bed and ran to the door. It was thundering and lightning out which was probably the reason for the whole dramatics of the knock. Every single light was off in the house and it was pitch black out. The lightning when it struck illuminated the whole entire house. The pounding was continuing at the door. I finally made it to the door and turned the lock, leaving the chain on it, I opened up the door as much as it would let me with the chain still attached. I wasn't sure it was Pete at the door. These days you could never be to completely sure who was at your door, especially at the hour that it was. I closed the door again, and unchained it. Pete pushed open the door immediately dropping his bags at the door and running up to me. He grabbed my face between his soaking wet hands and kissed me with his stone cold lips. I was reluctant to give in at first, because I needed to be strong and keep my distance. Eventually, I caved and gave into his kiss.

What seemed like minutes later we pulled apart. Gasping for air and just staring into each others eyes, his hands still on my neck as if they were stuck there. I leaned up against the back of the counter for support. I was melting, and I hated it with every inch of me. My heart was telling me I was wrong for wanting this, and my brain was telling me that I deserved more than this. My morals and ethics were getting squashed by the competition also known as my heart. I was fighting with myself over this, not just Pete, myself. Thats when I knew the situation was getting sticky.

He placed his cold, wet forehead against mine. He closed his eyes and moved his arms and linked them around my waste. I sighed. I knew exactly what he was trying to and I was pretty sure he knew what he was doing as well. I tried not to get to comfortable into his embrace so that he could tell that something was wrong with me and that I was not happy with the situation.

"Don't do this." I said quietly. He lifted his head from mine and looked at me. I was looking at the floor and not making any eye contact with him at all. I was so confused and afraid that if I was going to be torn anymore, it was eventually going to rip me in half. Pete put his hand under my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his. I looked into his eyes and started to let the tears fall. It was so hard to understand was it was that was exactly going on, but in the end the only person that would be able to completely understand me would be myself. The colour started to drain out of Pete's face and he looked like he was going to be sick. I couldn't believe that I was doing this to him, but in one sense, he had always said that lose lips sink ships.

I sighed, I crossed my arms over my chest and looked back at the ground. There started to be a puddle on the floor where Pete was standing. I wasn't worried about the expensive floor or the tile. I wasn't worried that the door was still open and it was raining like crazy outside. Most of all, I wasn't worried that my heart was in a billion pieces. I figured to take the dive and it was now or never.

"She called you Pete.." Pete's eyebrows furrowed when I started to talk, he was acting like he was confused but I figured as soon as he had the whole story that I was keeping bottled up inside me, he would soon get it. "She called you and I answered. She asked for you, and told me to tell you that she called." Pete's face fell again. I figured he'd figure it out sooner or later. He bit his bottom lip nervously and I started crying harder. I knew Pete wouldn't try to explain it, I knew it. And to be completely honest I didn't want any explanation of it either. My definition of love was not about to be shattered by some inconsiderate boy who wanted his cake and to eat it as well. I always believed that when you're in love, you're in love with that person. You don't give the one person you're with 50 percent of your love and divy the rest up to other people. When you love some you give them all of you, each individual piece that makes up a person, the mentality and the emotions. You invest all that you can, not just a little bit. You take risks, and you get hurt. You shouldn't be afraid to get hurt, and hurt. That's what love is about.

I slid down the counter and brought my knees up to my chest and burried my face into my arms. I was dying inside and Pete wasn't touching me or making an attempt to make it all better. I heard footsteps and then the door close. I was still crying and against the counter. I watched Pete walk away from me and up the stairs to the bedroom area. I shook my head and ran after him. He was down the hallway turning into the bathroom. He looked like he was mad as hell. I grabbed his arm and jerked him around to face me. He looked shocked that I actually came after him, and even more shocked that I decided to turn him around to face me. He looked at my arm and then back at my tear stained face. I couldn't believe that he actually had the balls just to walk by me and ignoring me like he did. Maybe he was ashamed of being caught, and that his little gig had fallen through. Maybe he was afraid that I had seen the real Pete Wentz, the possible sham that he was trying to hide from everyone by being someone he is not.

"I hope she was worth it." I barely choked out before he jerked his arm out of my grip and walked back into the bathroom, slamming the door in my face.

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i know i said i'd be a while, but i got bored at work & decided to get my mind off of things.