Categories > TV > Frasier > The Cousins Crane
The Honorary Cousin
0 reviewsFreddy's attempt to reach out to David reveals more of what he's going through, but it's not what Freddy expected.
0Unrated
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY
TITLE CARD: THE HONORARY COUSIN
David sits impatiently on a bench, throwing glances over his shoulder. He is shocked when Freddy suddenly enters.
FREDDY
Hey, cuz! How’s it going?
DAVID
Freddy? How did you find me?
FREDDY
It was harder than I thought it would be, that’s for sure! Good thing you have location services turned on on your phone!
As David stares at his phone like it betrayed him, Freddy sits on the bench beside him.
FREDDY
How did anybody ever find people to hang out with before that? Anyway, I was thinking I could show you a bit of the town. I mean, you’re going to be here for the summer, and you don’t even know where the public libraries are!
DAVID
Wow, I don’t know if I’m up for that much fun right now. Maybe another day, okay?
FREDDY
Okay, it doesn’t have to that. We could… go on a pub— creep, or to the Green… Beast, and catch a baseball match!
He sees David look over his shoulder again and pushes to recapture his attention.
FREDDY
Or we could just… Netflix and chill!
David turns around to stare at him in horror.
FREDDY
That’s what it’s called, right?
DAVID
No. That is not what the thing you’re referring to is called. I hope.
Enter ALICE DOYLE, striding across campus with a bag. David stands and steps into her path.
DAVID
Alice!
ALICE
David? What are you— you’re here?
FREDDY
Oh, my God— Alice? Little Alice Doyle, from Seattle? It’s been years!
ALICE
Hi, Freddy. Good to see you.
FREDDY
You too! You’re in Boston?
ALICE
Just started grad school here. But I thought David was at Yale.
DAVID
Yeah, well, Yale might not be working out. I thought maybe I’d try it here for a while.
ALICE
So… what? You just had to come here and tell me that? Why?
DAVID
Well— we’re in the same city now.
ALICE
And you think that means we can be together?
FREDDY
Wait, what? I’m sorry, be together?
ALICE
Distance wasn’t the problem, David.
DAVID
I’m not just some little kid anymore. I’m out on my own now—
ALICE
You think half a year at Yale is enough to mean you’re grown up?
DAVID
Alice, I came all this way—
ALICE
To see me?
DAVID
To be here for you! Doesn’t that show you how serious I am?
FREDDY
Oh, my God. David, is that why you’re here? Because you— stalked Alice here?
DAVID
Freddy— this is none of your business—
FREDDY
How could you do this to me?
ALICE
To you?
FREDDY
He’s crashing at my place! He told me I was the only person he knew in Boston! Apparently I was just the only apartment.
ALICE
Oh, Jesus. David, nothing has changed since we last saw each other in Seattle. It’s not going to happen. I told you that loud and clear. And if you think showing up here to directly disregard that, then you’re just as much a child as you were when I first told it to you.
She steps around David and walks off. Freddy stares at David in outrage.
FREDDY
Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
DAVID
Nobody’s ever going to Netflix and chill with you.
He storms out.
TITLE CARD: THE HONORARY COUSIN
David sits impatiently on a bench, throwing glances over his shoulder. He is shocked when Freddy suddenly enters.
FREDDY
Hey, cuz! How’s it going?
DAVID
Freddy? How did you find me?
FREDDY
It was harder than I thought it would be, that’s for sure! Good thing you have location services turned on on your phone!
As David stares at his phone like it betrayed him, Freddy sits on the bench beside him.
FREDDY
How did anybody ever find people to hang out with before that? Anyway, I was thinking I could show you a bit of the town. I mean, you’re going to be here for the summer, and you don’t even know where the public libraries are!
DAVID
Wow, I don’t know if I’m up for that much fun right now. Maybe another day, okay?
FREDDY
Okay, it doesn’t have to that. We could… go on a pub— creep, or to the Green… Beast, and catch a baseball match!
He sees David look over his shoulder again and pushes to recapture his attention.
FREDDY
Or we could just… Netflix and chill!
David turns around to stare at him in horror.
FREDDY
That’s what it’s called, right?
DAVID
No. That is not what the thing you’re referring to is called. I hope.
Enter ALICE DOYLE, striding across campus with a bag. David stands and steps into her path.
DAVID
Alice!
ALICE
David? What are you— you’re here?
FREDDY
Oh, my God— Alice? Little Alice Doyle, from Seattle? It’s been years!
ALICE
Hi, Freddy. Good to see you.
FREDDY
You too! You’re in Boston?
ALICE
Just started grad school here. But I thought David was at Yale.
DAVID
Yeah, well, Yale might not be working out. I thought maybe I’d try it here for a while.
ALICE
So… what? You just had to come here and tell me that? Why?
DAVID
Well— we’re in the same city now.
ALICE
And you think that means we can be together?
FREDDY
Wait, what? I’m sorry, be together?
ALICE
Distance wasn’t the problem, David.
DAVID
I’m not just some little kid anymore. I’m out on my own now—
ALICE
You think half a year at Yale is enough to mean you’re grown up?
DAVID
Alice, I came all this way—
ALICE
To see me?
DAVID
To be here for you! Doesn’t that show you how serious I am?
FREDDY
Oh, my God. David, is that why you’re here? Because you— stalked Alice here?
DAVID
Freddy— this is none of your business—
FREDDY
How could you do this to me?
ALICE
To you?
FREDDY
He’s crashing at my place! He told me I was the only person he knew in Boston! Apparently I was just the only apartment.
ALICE
Oh, Jesus. David, nothing has changed since we last saw each other in Seattle. It’s not going to happen. I told you that loud and clear. And if you think showing up here to directly disregard that, then you’re just as much a child as you were when I first told it to you.
She steps around David and walks off. Freddy stares at David in outrage.
FREDDY
Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
DAVID
Nobody’s ever going to Netflix and chill with you.
He storms out.
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