FicWad

"Well, aren't you just the very epitome of the term 'morning person?'"

Levi blinked blearily up at the man speaking to him, all tall, blond, and handsome. He realized with a jolt he'd been falling asleep in his chair and immediately set his face in a deep scowl, hoping to avoid any more teasing. His boss raised a thick eyebrow, looking rather amused, and a smile curved his lips as he watched his top captain uncurl himself from the seat.

"Go fuck yourself," Levi muttered sleepily, little venom in his tone as he stretched. He glanced around at his surroundings, and found he was still in the terminal, surrounded by his sleeping squad members with his boss seated to his left. He had a good half hour before his flight was scheduled, so he stood from his seat and ditched the blanket someone had thrown over him.

"Where are you headed?" Erwin asked in passing.

"Bathroom," Levi responded simply with a dismissive wave of the hand, rubbing his eyes groggily as he weaved through the seats.

Finally he found himself in the men's restroom, and he was half-dead as he took care of his business. He staggered almost drunkenly to the sinks, silently grateful that there was no one else in the bathroom. Levi made the mistake of glancing at his reflection as he washed his hands, and immediately his features twisted into a thin-lipped frown. He looked like hell. Bags deeper than usual, pale-faced and sullen. Once vivid silver eyes stared back a dull grey, sharp features looked thinner and more prominent from weight loss. His hair was getting long past due for cutting it. The clean-shaven bottom half had already grown nearly an inch and the rest was getting in his eyes.

He peered at his sullen reflection and wondered why he looked so malnourished. Come to think of it, when was the last time he'd eaten...?

The door swung open, and Levi didn't even bother looking until Erwin's amused voice reached him. "Did you fall in?"

"Piss off," the raven-haired man shot back groggily. He carded his fingers through his messy locks until they were tangle-free, raising his eyebrows at his employer's reflection. "What do you want, old coot? Were you hoping to see my dick? It's too late for that."

Erwin rolled his eyes, leaning against the outside of an empty stall as he watched Levi tug a hair tie off his wrist and put his bangs up away from his face. "Are you sure you're ready for this mission?"

"I'm sure. Stop asking, or I won't be."

"You look like hell."

Levi turned away from the mirror with a grimace. "I know I do. But I also don't make the same mistake twice. I wouldn't have come if I couldn't do it. Besides, they need me there."

"I know," Erwin sighed. He rested a hand on the shorter male's shoulder, concerned blue gazing into grey depths. "But if anything goes wrong, if you don't feel up to it, just give me the word."

"Of course."

A wordless agreement passed between them, a mutual understanding, a sense of respect and authority. Trust, Levi labeled it. An undying sense of trust, companionship, and faith in each other. They believed in one another. They were closer than just superior and subordinate, but old friends, past partners.

Two others were awake when they walked out, the broad-shouldered blond one stretching and rolling his joints, the other padding back sleepily from a terminal coffee booth, tousling his short-cropped black hair. A coffee cup was offered to the raven and he accepted it gratefully, too tired to care that it was watered down airport crap. Caffeine was caffeine.

"Should we wake the others?"

"Yeah, and get your stuff together, we should be boarding soon."

The two set to waking their obnoxiously snoring ash-haired companion, Oluo, while Levi returned to his seat to retrieve his carry-ons. He slipped the strap of his satchel over his shoulders and nudged the strawberry-blonde in the seat beside his. Petra curled up into a smaller ball, making an irritated noise, and fell still again. He snorted lightly and grabbed his holster from his seat, the gun already inside it, and nestled it safely in his waistband.

"Petra."

"Captain," was the sleepy reply.

"Don't make me say it."

A single honey-colored eye finally opened in a half-hearted glare. "Do your worst."

Levi snorted. "Fireman hold it is."

Petra didn't seem to believe him at first, but when he tried to wrap an arm around her middle, an ungodly shriek left her. She flailed wildly when he hoisted her up into the air; he found himself laughing when she managed to wiggle free, only to fall ungracefully face-first onto the ground. Petra glared darkly up at her captain, who returned her glare with an amused quirk of the eyebrow. Finally the woman relented and groggily reached for her purse to hoist it over her shoulder.

"You're so fucking loud," Oluo snorted, scratching at his undercut with a tired yawn. "We good to go, Commander?"

"Erwin off duty," the blond chided him, rolling his eyes. "And yes, if everyone is ready. The jet is waiting."

Boarding was always the same; they briefly showed proof of identity and badge and were assisted with luggage. They made themselves comfortable in the plush seats, Petra falling back asleep nearly instantly. Levi pulled out his phone and pulled up Skype before he had to turn it off, immediately clicking on the conversation with the brunet brat he'd been talking with the previous night. It looked like he wasn't awake yet, so he couldn't have a brief conversation before the flight. A soft sigh escaped him as he rapidly typed out a brief farewell, waited for it to send, and switched it to airplane mode. His head hit the seat with a dull thump, and he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"That sigh sounds like trouble," Erwin said, taking the seat next to him.

"Does it?" Levi mumbled in response, rubbing viciously at his eyes before finally glancing at his superior. Erwin was watching him with a gentle but knowing expression, one that the ravenet hated. Levi knew Erwin was aware of his inner turmoil. It was one thing he couldn't stand about his boss and old friend; his ability to read his underlings, especially Levi, was uncanny.

"What's bothering you?" the blond asked quietly.

"Nothing that will affect the mission," Levi responded simply. He didn't want to tell Erwin he was worrying over someone thousands of miles away. Someone he hadn't even really met. Someone whose face he'd never even seen. Besides, he was pretty damn sure he was right - in the heat of battle, he wouldn't exactly be focused on Eren.

"Are you certain?"

"Positive."

Something in his expression must have pushed Erwin into not believing him, because he pressed further, "If something is wrong, I'll pull you out. This is a dangerous operation, and I won't have you blaming yourself if something goes wrong and people get hurt. We can send Mike's squad in. It's alright."

"Just leave me alone," Levi snapped abruptly. "I think you've proven well enough that my mental state isn't part of your calculations, nor will it ever be."

The cabin was deathly silent after that, and naught a word was spoken for the rest of the flight, besides a clipped response from Erwin.

"Whatever you think is best. Just remember that you told me you were fine last time, too, and we all know how that turned out."

.-.-.-.-.

titanicjaeger: Sorry, if I'd been up, I would have wished you good luck. Don't die out there, alright? I don't know if you'll even see this, it could be three weeks, it could be never. I'm hoping for the former.

He had an hour or so to talk while they settled in the hotel rooms, and Levi was probably too excited to see that the message had been about half an hour ago. The brat was awake, no doubt wasting time on some chat site. A sense of relief washed over the ravenet, and he tapped the call button. He could at least check up on Eren before he had to go to the meeting - not to mention the kid's humor would help him calm down after the tense atmosphere of the flight.

Ring, ring, ring . . .

That was strange. Eren never took so long to pick up. Bathroom, Levi figured with a small shrug, and he tossed his phone on the bed while he changed, thinking nothing of it. Once he was out of his t-shirt and jeans and into a pristine dress shirt and tie, he made the attempt again.

Still nothing on titanicjeager's end. Levi's brows knitted together, and he stared intently at the phone as he pressed the call button again. Online, but inactive. Shower, maybe . . . ? Asleep? But no, Levi had woken him with a Skype call before . . .

"Depression and suicide rates skyrocket during the months of darkness, you know - "

With the realization came the unfathomably frigid drop in the atmosphere. He pressed the call button again, impatiently tapping his foot as it kept ringing, ringing, ringing to no avail. With each ring was another degree that had fallen, another painful stab of panic. Another agonizingly slow ring, ringing, ringing, the sound low in his ears compared to his thundering, steadily increasing heart rate.

Answer me, damn it!

Thirty seconds had never lasted an eternity before.

Fucking answer me!

The call then dropped, almost as quickly as the atmosphere, and there Levi stood, staring blankly at his phone screen. His thoughts caught up to him not a second later, and fear spiked in his heart as Hanji's words repeated in his head, over and over. He fought down the urge to panic as his thumbs rapidly exited the application and typed out a memorized phone number. He fought down the irrational fear of another call dropping and tapped his foot anxiously.

"Yo, shorty!" Hanji chirped, the line crackling with what sounded like wind noise. "Don't you have a meeting soon? What's the problem, short-baby?"

"It's Eren," Levi responded, and he cringed at how strained and desperate his voice sounded, fighting to push down the panic.

Hanji's tone changed instantly, low and concerned. "What happened?"

"I don't know. He isn't answering me."

"Do you think you're overreacting?"

It wasn't accusing or skeptical. It was to help her evaluate the situation, and he knew it. Taking a deep breath, he replied, "I don't know. It doesn't feel right. I don't know what it is, but I have a bad feeling."

"I'm guessing you don't have the time to wait for him?"

"I don't. Can you check on him?"

"Of course, Levi." This was why he knew he could rely on her; she knew when to draw the line, when teasing should be stopped in favor of seriousness. "I'll keep you updated. Don't get distracted. I'll handle it."

And he believed her when she said that. "I know you will. Thanks. I'll talk to you later."

Click.

Levi took a few deep breaths, straightened his tie, and checked his watch. He supposed he should be heading out. With one last backward glance at his phone, laying innocently on the sheets, he headed out the door.

.-.-.-.-.

"We're honored to have you," NYPD Chief of Police Nile Dawk greeted them curtly. He nodded stiffly at Erwin. "Please, have a seat."

Chairs shuffled about, and Levi found many eyes on him as he chose his spot to Erwin's right. He supposed he certainly had a reputation at this point, but this was ridiculous. Eight meetings in, a week and a half of planning, and the newest members of the NYPD SWAT team still stared at him like he was some sort of god. Not only was it unprofessional and showed him just how green they were, it made him extremely uncomfortable.

He was supposed to be helping these people. Leading these newbies into battle. These kids. They shouldn't be worshipping him. They should be fearing for their lives. Soon, they would realize the gravity of the situation. Inevitably, some, if not all of them, would die. And they would hate them for the rest of their lives.

The thought brought an old, familiar pain in his chest, and when he made a displeased noise in the back of his throat, Petra and Erwin both shot him concerned glances. He waved them off, glaring at the table and waiting for the feeling to fade.

"It's been a long week of strategic planning and explanations with our various criminal experts, as well as our undercover agents." Nile got straight down to business. "I would like to thank you all profusely for working with us on this case, even if some of you may have been a little . . . difficult."

At this, he shot a pointed glance at Erwin. Levi barely stopped himself from snorting. Ever since their welcome - or rather, lack thereof, as proven by the NYPD's blatant ignorance when it came to hospitality - Erwin had been busy expressing his distaste. It came mostly in the form of nitpicking; Nile would express a plan of attack or an opinion on how to smoothly run an infiltration, and Erwin would instantly pick apart the decision and scorn Nile's lack of thought process.

Full frontal attack? Are you fucking retarded? We don't have enough men for that. We don't know what we will be facing. Hell, they could attack them from the windows. They would be unguarded from attack from inside.

Through the windows? The only way to do that silently includes tools too bulky and inconvenient to carry with them.

Helicopter? Really? Did you think at all for that one?

Well, perhaps Erwin wasn't so rude, but Levi could tell that was what he was thinking. Just because he wasn't as verbal about it didn't mean Erwin wasn't just as vulgar as Levi.

"I fail to see the relevance of said statement to the current situation," Erwin said blandly. "We have not yet completed the mission, nor have our officers done much at all. We're wasting precious time here."

"Yes, well," Nile said, flushing slightly. He cleared his throat, lacking a response, and went on as if Erwin hadn't spoken. "I'm afraid we don't have much time left. We have to speed up the process. One of our inside sources has informed us the leader of the drug ring and his top smugglers and masterminds are relocating soon. Where, no one but them knows. We won't have time to practice much, so we need to put forth our all."

Levi found himself nodding along with everyone else. Nile cleared his throat once again and rolled a map of the target building out, Erwin tracing marked routes with the pad of his forefinger. Routes that had been imprinted on the squads' minds, every twist and turn memorized so as to avoid the smallest slipup.

"As previously stated, squad Dreyse will come in through the southern exit. Our source should be there at exactly 21:03. They will be wearing the previously described outfit and waiting for your signal. He will give you a spare key to that exit, and you are to lie in wait after that until you are given word from Ackerman's squad.

"Levi, your squad will be at the building to the west."

Levi nodded vaguely, and he could picture the building clearly. They had purchased a nearly identical setup for training purposes that they had traversed, and they had pulled up satellite views of the target buildings. He could imagine his squad with him, huddled together at one of the doorways, the one that faced the main building.

"The patrol will approach at around 20:50. You must lure the two to three men into the abandoned building, and kill them as silently as possible."

Gunther and Eld would likely be the ones to perform that action; their large, beefy hands could snap something as fragile as a neck in an instant without the victim making any noise. He'd seen it before, the way a man's eyes would go wide and fearful, how their Adam's apple would bob as if about to speak, only to be cut off before it could come out.

It was odd. He'd never seen Gunther or Eld in action. Not like that, anyways. They'd only done the smallest of jobs since Levi's last big mission. So why could he picture it so clearly . . . ?

"Ackerman, are you paying attention?" Nile suddenly snapped. Levi's eyes flew open, and his mouth immediately moved to hurl a vulgar retort at him, but Erwin cut him off.

"Chief Dawk, I would appreciate if you didn't interrupt my officer's concentration," the blond said coldly, with the first hint of emotion Levi had seen him speak with towards Nile the entire trip in New York. "Ackerman has been given special training from his days as a special officer in our armed forces. I can assure you, he is paying utmost attention. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Nile gave him a withering glare, but did not retort, so Erwin continued.

"Ral will pick the lock of the entrance closest to you, as our source has promised the room will be cleared. Once you have made it inside, you will radio squad Dreyse your status. The colors and their meanings have been discussed."

The daydream returned just as vividly as before. A bright ginger head was visible even in the dark, crouched before a rickety door as two men guarded the alley. But that red hair was darker than Petra's, and those men didn't fit the description or build of any in Levi's squad. A thumbs up was sent their way and they entered the dilapidated old building, one of the two men radioing the accompanying squad on the other side of the building.

"Once inside, you must keep lookout for any members, and kill them as silently as possible to avoid raising an alarm for as long as possible while you make your way to the target . . . "

Erwin's voice was starting to fade to nothing, which was unusual for these times, but Levi couldn't seem to tune back in. Was he falling asleep? He could still see those bushy red pigtails, and he could make out the grizzled face of the man next to him.

"Izzy!" the other male hissed at the girl, and a shiver ran down Levi's spine. He froze up completely when the familiar voice continued. "Fall back, you dolt!"

Isabel paused and waited for her squad to catch up. She shot Farlan a pout, who beat it down with a stern glare. Levi felt something akin to appreciation that she could bring humor in such dire conditions, but Farlan was right: they had to stay deathly silent here and stick together.

Kenny brought them to a halt. Their uncle made a few hand gestures, and the rest of them understood. Two men in the nearest room, one facing the doorway, both openly armed. Levi's hand reached for a stone in his pocket in response without him telling it to. He fished it out and threw it a distance down the hallway, listening to it clatter in the silence. Immediately the two men gave hissed swears, ducking out of the room to investigate the noise.

Isabel was on them in an instant, wielding two knives that she drove into the napes of their necks. They could only give gurgles as they collapsed in the hallway. Farlan and Levi were there in an instant to cushion the fall, in case anyone else was around to hear them hit the floor. After a bit of scouting from Kenny while they dragged the bodies away, it was revealed the hallway was completely empty.

"You guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Kenny muttered in that hoarse growl. It seemed any voice from his past made Levi freeze up, his muscles tensing of their own accord. He shook off the feeling as Farlan spoke.

"It feels like a setup," he agreed.

"We have to go through with this," Levi heard himself say. He had no control over his voice, even as every fiber of his being screamed that they should turn and leave right that second, squad Zoe be damned. "You heard Erwin; this may be our only shot."

"You're right," Farlan agreed begrudgingly, and Levi wanted to scream. No! He wasn't right! They needed to leave, and now! But he couldn't say any of it. "We'll press on. Keep a sharp lookout."

Those were the words that brought everything crashing down as a gunshot resounded, and Kenny collapsed. The blood poured from his throat, his jaw moving in an effort to make speech, his last words, but he managed nothing and eventually stopped moving altogether, his eyes wide open in perpetual shock.

"At last," a voice said, creeping and familiar, even if flashback Levi had never heard it before. "I've been expecting you, little friends."

Levi's eyes snapped open once more, a choked noise leaving him in place of a scream as he jolted upright. Every pair of eyes turned to him, most confused. Silver immediately searched for the piercing blue of Erwin's eyes, and the concern there was shocking.

"Levi." Erwin's voice cut through the deafening roar of rushing blood in Levi's ears. The tunnel vision threatening to swallow his view completely receded when he locked eyes with his superior, that calming gaze grounding him somewhat. The blond's voice wasn't formed in a question to anyone that heard it, but the look was enough to portray the questions swirling in Erwin's mind, the main one asking if he was alright.

"Need some coffee," Levi muttered. "Your boring voice was lulling me to sleep. Fill me in later."

Nile started to stutter out a question, but Levi could no longer hear. His heart was too loud. His vision was starting to go dark again, and it took all his strength to make it calmly out of the meeting room. No sooner had he made it to the break room than he was gripping the counter like a lifeline, knuckles white with the effort of keeping him upright.

Deep breaths. Slow. Calm your heart . . .

The familiar tune of beeps the tapping of Hanji's number brought was somewhat calming. He held the device up to his ear and was relieved when the call was nearly instantly answered.

"You're supposed to be in a meeting."

"I know."

Hanji's voice changed in an instant. "Levi, you sound shaky. What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Everything's fine, shit glasses. Have you heard from Eren? I haven't been able to check anything."

The brunette picked up on his intentions immediately. Sighing slightly, she humored him, knowing how calming and grounding a simple conversation could be for him. "He's okay. Since you've been gone, he mostly just sleeps. I don't think he's doing too hot but he isn't doing bad, either. Are you sure you're all right? What happened, Levi?"

"I'm glad to hear that." Levi paused. He could see the break room now, the details clearer now. His head wasn't spinning, either, and Hanji's voice was clear. "Nothing happened, Four-Eyes. I ran away from that boring meeting, I swear my brain was fucking melting. Erwin and Nile have been pulling the hairs of each other's asses this entire visit. It was funny at first, but now it's just getting ridiculous."

"Sounds like something Erwin would do."

Before Levi could reply with a report of the bullshit he'd been hearing the past two weeks, Erwin himself poked his head into the room. Upon seeing Levi, he entered the room, asking, "Who's on the phone?"

"None of your business, asshole," Levi replied with no real venom, rolling his eyes. He turned away from Erwin to make it clear he was speaking to Hanji. "Gotta go. Keep me updated on him."

"Aye, aye!"

Levi ended the call just as her voice stopped, but didn't take his eyes off the screen. His eyes traced the simple factory design, his wallpaper unchanged since he got the device. He knew Erwin expected his attention. He knew the questions that were coming, and he didn't want to answer them. He didn't want that conversation.

"Levi." The ravenet gave a simple grunt in response, and Erwin sighed. "Look at me."

Levi rolled his eyes before locking gazes with Erwin, attempting a glare. It was difficult when those eyes held nothing but concern. "What?"

"Tell me what happened earlier."

"I fell asleep."

"Liar."

The word made him flinch. The accusation reminded him of prior times he'd heard it, spoken in a harsh tone as the owner of said voice asked him the same question, over and over. He could feel his wrists burning and rubbed them idly, grimacing.

"You saw them, didn't you?" Erwin queried, that voice saying he knew already. Telling Levi he knew everything. That it was obvious. Hopefully not to anyone else, Levi thought.

"So what?" he snarled defensively. "It doesn't mean anything."

"It's okay if you still need time," Erwin told him. "If you push youreself, your mind will deteriorate, and you'll always be reminded of what happened. Do I need to send you back home? Mike's squad can always come up here."

"I see," Levi spat. "It isn't concern for me. You want your pawns in perfect condition."

Erwin's eyes narrowed at the accusation. "If you want to see it that way, be my guest. Just answer me this: can you go through with the operation?"

Levi's lips curled into a disgusted frown, and he turned away, pulling a styrafoam cup from one of the cabinets. "My mental condition is no concern of yours," he said stiffly, pouring coffee into the cup. "I can still sneak. I can still fight. I can still kill."

Erwin took the coffee pot from him as Levi downed the substance with no additives, the blond pouring his own cup.

"Then I'll trust you. Failure is not an option, Levi."