Categories > Cartoons > American Dad

Tex and Mex, Lies, and Videotape

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

Roger and Steve are eager to meet and please their TV idols. One-shot.

Category: American Dad - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody - Published: 2018-10-10 - 1695 words - Complete


Walking down the streets of Langley Falls. There was Steve and Roger. Steve was in a wheelchair wearing a suit playing the part of his alter ego 'Wheels'. Roger was in his Legman costume. Both of them got done solving another epic mystery and were looking for more.

"Holy Shit! I fucking love being Wheels and the Legman!" Roger declared.

"Too bad it has to end. Sure wish another mystery would pop up for us." Steve agreeing with Roger.

"There's always more to come. With Wheels and the Legman, there is never a......" Roger was stopped when he saw a huge crowd gathered at the mall.

Steve asked, "What do you think happened here?"

"Maybe it was a shooting! Lets go check it out!" Roger suggested.

There was a tented booth in front of the crowd. Roger and Steve walked around. They couldn't believe who they saw. Tex and Mex! The cop show Roger and Steve both loved that inspired their pretend detective agency at the time when Stan was forcing Hayley to marry Dill Shepard.

"It's Tex and Mex, Steve! Can you see them!"

"Sure I can! Thought they were cancelled, Roger!"

Steve and Roger cut in front of everyone standing in line. Roger claimed he had VIP passes.

"VIP passes! Coming through!"

They finally arrived at the tented booth to see the actors who played Tex and Mex. Steve shook their hands, "Hi, I'm Steve Smith! Huge fan!"

"As am I! But an even bigger fan than him!" Roger said shaking their hands.

Steve asked, "What happened to your show?"

Tex explained, "It's coming back! We started a kickstarter campaign."

"On Craigslist, right?" Roger wisecracked.

"Oh no! Not Craigslist! Mexlist! The Mexican Craigslist!" Mex said.

Roger and Steve were both excited to meet Tex and Mex.

"When can we expect to see new episodes?" asked Steve.

"Coming next month!" answered Tex.

"Let me guess, on Netflix, right?" asked Roger.

"No, not Mexflix! Mexican Netflix." Mex said.

"Yes, he's right. On Netflix! We're hoping to beat Stranger Things!" Tex said. Their show Tex and Mex used to be on the Sleuth Channel.

"What happened to that other channel you used to be on?" asked Roger curiously.

"Sleuth Channel."

"Went out of business!" Tex said.

"Awesome! Can't wait to see the premiere! Good thing we got Netflix on our HD!" said Steve.

Tex told them, "After we're done signing autographs, meet us here again tomorrow! We have something very exciting planned for the two of you! Our special fans!"

"You bet your ass we'll be here!" Roger said.

"In fact your show impressed us so much we even have our own make believe detective agency!" Steve spoke.

"Once you meet us and tell you what we have planned, We have dinner at La Super-Rica Taqueria!" Mex told them.

Roger and Steve high fived each other!

"Did you see what we just witnessed Steve?"

"We get to hang out with Tex and Mex!"

"Wonder what they have for us?"


The next day, Roger and Steve were in the Langley Falls Mall Parking Lot. They were waiting a long time for Tex and Mex to show up. Roger paces back and forth. Steve tries to calm him down.

"Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Are TV actors always this late to their faithful fans?"

"Perhaps we shouldn't have gotten so excited about this, Roger."

"Steve, This is a big deal for me!"

"Not just for you, Roger! For both of us!"

"When will they get here?! GGRRRRRRRR! Gonna become homicidal here!"

"It might be they got held up with other things, Roger! Now calm down! They're going to be here!"

"I know I know! It's what Stan and Frannie always tell me when celebrities don't answer my fan letters."

Roger and Steve together, "They have other things going on!"

A car came to where Steve and Roger were standing. Roger can tell it was the actors who played Tex and Mex.

"Oh my gosh! Gonna squirt my shit! Here they are! Coming just like that Aerosmith song! "right this way!" Roger jumped in excitement. "Correction Roger, it's 'Walk This Way'." Steve reminding Roger of his error in judgement.

Steve was anxious too, "Oooooooohhhhhh! Just pissed myself! Girls will want to go out with me when I tell them I meet Tex and Mex.

Tex and Mex came out of the car. "Hola senors!" Mex greeted. "I have something to say!" said Tex. Steve and Roger look at them very starstruck. "What is it?" asked Steve. "Shooting of our premiere episode will begin next month." Tex announced.

"If you'd like to be a star on our show for the first episode.....tell them Tex!" Mex was telling.

"All you need to do is find us some old video tapes. Do you know anyone who collects VHS?" asked Tex.

"Want us to do a break in?" asked Roger. "No no, nothing like that. Just give us some VHS tapes and you both will star in the premiere episode! Think of it as a mystery that you have to search for!" Tex said.

Roger took Steve aside, "Do you know anyone who collects old VHS?"

Steve recalls once he was in Principal Lewis's house hiding away from bullies who were chasing him and remembers seeing a bunch of videotapes in a drawer in his house.

"Principal Lewis! He has a VHS collection!" said Steve. "He keeps them stuffed in a drawer!"

"There you go! Go to his house and give us those tapes!" ordered Tex.

"We'd be honored! Come on Steve!" Roger pulls Steve by the hand. "WOOAHH!"

"Just one thing!" said Mex. "Tell us?" asked Steve. Mex stated, "Be sure he has some Old El Paso Tacos!"

Roger and Steve crack up as they were going off to Principal Lewis's house to get those VHS tapes.

"Why the VHS, senor?" asked Mex. "It's going to be some props for our episode!" answered Tex.


Roger and Steve got off a bus and were in the neighborhood where Principal Lewis lived. Steve points to Lewis's house. "That's his house right there!"

"Why are you so practical, Steve? What is it with that about you?"

"All right. I won't be practical if you won't be a dick! Is that a deal?"

Roger agrees with Steve, "It's a deal!" Steve knows how sometimes Roger is always out for himself.

"Wait, how would I be a dick about this?" asked Roger.

"As long as you aren't out for yourself in this whole Tex and Mex thing. That's what assholes are capable of." Steve spoke directly.

"When have I ever been a........" Roger was cut off when Steve runs to the front door of Principal Lewis's house.

Roger runs after Steve, "Wait up! Now who's being the asshole! Or dick or whatever!"

Steve opens the door to Principal Lewis's house. Nobody was there. "He must be at work."

"Where's this drawer?" asked Roger. "It's the key to us being on Tex and Mex."

Steve searches far and wide for the drawer of VHS tapes. "Has to be around here someplace. Hope he didn't sell them......."

Roger goes into the bathroom and finds the drawer. "STEVE! FOUND IT!"

Steve runs upstairs to the bathroom. Was kind of annoyed that Roger got to the drawer of VHS tapes first.

Crossing his arms, and was displeased with Roger finding the drawer first. "Is this going to become a competition?"

Roger said, "No no! Silly Goosey! It's for the both of us! You and me!"

"Hope not!" said Steve. Who was still unsure of Roger's actions. As Steve knew, Roger always had to be in competition. Win, and be ahead of the game. Whatever it was.

Steve opens the drawer and finds the VHS tapes. "Here they are! Let's grab them!"

Roger looks at the labels on them. Sees that all the videos were of the classic sitcom, Mr. Belvedere. "Lewis must be a Mr. Belvedere nut!"

"That's a shock. Thought he would like 227, Sister Sister, A Different World, or The Cosby show." Steve observed.

Opening of the front door was heard. Roger and Steve got scared. "Holy fuck! It's him!" "We gotta go!"

Roger and Steve both took the videotapes and jumped out of the upstairs bathroom window and managed to get away.

"We're a coming home, Tex and Mex!" yelled Roger. Steve was struggling to keep up with Roger holding all the video tapes. "Make me do all the work, why don't you!"

"Stop bitching! We're going to be on TV!" Roger demanded.


Tex and Mex were waiting at the Langley Falls Mall Parking Lot. Roger and Steve ran up to them and handed them the video tapes.

"Excellent job! You are both going to star in our premiere episode!" Tex was impressed.

Roger and Steve both cheered.

"You might get paid as little as I do!" Mex told them.

"Hope it wasn't too much of a hassle." said Tex.

"Not at all! Wheels and the Legman at your service!" Roger saluted.

"Can we be Wheels and the Legman on your show?" asked Steve eagerly.

"Sure! You both can be rookie detectives who team up with us!" Tex said.

"Where will it be filmed?" asked Roger excitedly.

"Right here in Langley! See you next month and meet us at this address!"

Tex hands them a note with the way to the studio. "We will be there with bells on!" Roger shouted.

Mex looked at the videotapes and saw Mr. Belvedere on the label. "Who is this Senor Belvedere? Thought it would be a soap opera espanol!"

Roger and Steve were now going to star in their favorite tv series. Steve's distrust in Roger was now all gone. Both cannot wait to star in the show.

In Principal Lewis's house, he doesn't notice his house was broken into. "Another day Prinicpaling for me for a day!"

Heading to the bathroom, Principal Lewis was in high anticipation to watch his Mr. Belvedere videos. "Time for some good old......."

Momentarily, Principal Lewis noticed that the drawer where his Mr. Belvedere VHS tapes were stolen.

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