FicWad

Over the past 3 weeks Robyn had settled into Canada well she had a great time setting up for the movie. She got along with the crew from the movie who was also setting up things. She felt refreshed clearing her head from all what had gone on on tour weeks ago. She had had a few calls from Paul, Billy, Dean, Joel even Matt but to her surprise not so much from Brian, Benji had called every single day at least. However she didn’t answer any of their calls she didn’t feel ready yet she went to clear her head. Karl had kept in touch he was back in England now but she was happy to know he’d also kept in touch with their mum this time too.
Robyn was working on the set with one of the crew Jamie when her phone started ringing again. She took it out of her back pocket seen ‘Benji’ on the screen swiped it off and put it back in her pocket. She looked up to see Jamie looking at her.
“answer it it might be important he calls alot.” Jamie said to her completely unaware of all what had gone on.
“No it’s nothing.” Robyn brushed off.
“are you sure?” Jamie said bot believing her but getting the hint there was something but she didn’t want to get into it.
“I’m sure.” Robyn smiled more convincingly this time. Jamie nodded and they carried on with the job at hand.
“so when do the horses arrive?” Jamie asked.
“tomorrow” Robyn said with a smile she had missed them.
“bet you can’t wait.”
“I’ve missed them.” She smiled.

The next day Robyn was up early putting the finishing touches on the stables before the horses and the team arrived. Once she was done she had time for a quick cup of coffee there was a lovely seating area with kitchen facilities right next to the stable area. Just as she was finishing her coffee she could hear the horse boxes and trailers pulling up she smiled to herself and stood to greet them.
“hey good journey?” Robyn smiled going over greeting Dan and Sally and the team.
“good no trouble.” Dan smiled.
Robyn went round to the other side of the truck to greet Diego but then seen Joel Stood there looking sheepish.
“hey Rob how you doing?” Joel smiled awkwardly.
“Joel what are you doing here?” Robyn said blankly.
“well for one I’m your friend and for two you’ve not been answering any calls so I wanted to come catch up make sure your ok.” Joel winced hoping Robyn wasn’t going flip at him.
“normally when someone doesn't answer your calls it means they want to speak to you.” Robyn replied she knew Joel didn’t deserve her being a bitch to him but she had just started to get her head straight and didn’t want it al dragging back up also of Joel was here did that mean Benji was here.
“Robyn please don't be like that talk to me please there's only me here Benji doesn’t even know I'm here.” Joel pleaded
“well I need to sort the horses out first.” Robyn softened.
“its ok Robs we’ve got this you take the time you need” Dan said. Robyn looked unsure then nodded.
“I best put the kettle on.” She said to Joel motioning for him to follow her.
She made the drink both of them in silence then went and sat at the little table and chairs outside. Robyn lot up a fag looking out into the distance. Joel watched her in silence for a minute feeling uncomfortable.
“so you want to talk.. so talk.” She said plainly as she blew out some smoke.
“I erm.. Well err.. I..” Joel stuttered.
“bloody hell Joel spit it out man.” She couldn’t help but laugh at him softening her attitude towards him.
“I’m sorry i know it’s a bit of a shock me just turning up like this but I really was worried about you we all are.. especially Benji.” He risked bringing Benji up flinching for her reaction but she didn’t react. Not outwardly but Joel could tell inwardly from her eyes there was a whole load of emotion hidden away.
“I just wanted to see how you are and with you not answering anyone's calls this was my only option.”
“well I’m fine.” She said bluntly. Joel looked at her looking slightly more hurt each time she gave him a harsh answer. She suddenly felt sorry for him it wasn’t his fault its not him that she's angry at so she shouldn’t take it out on him.
“shit Joel I’m sorry I shouldn’t take this out on you. It’s just my head was so fucked when I left and I’ve just started to clear my head. I just didn’t want it all dragging back up I don’t think my head... or my heart could cope.” She paused before she said the last bit quietly.
“its ok we’re all worried about you..including Benji”
“I’m ok honestly feeling more refreshed after this break and so happy to have Diego back now.” She smiled. A horse was always the best escape from your problems. “ how are all of you guys and how was the rest of the tour?”
“good we’re all good glad to have a break now though. Tour went well.” Joel smiled. “so what have you been up to here?”
“just getting everything set for the real stars of the show to arrive.” She said meaning the horses.
They went into a slightly awkward silence.
“Benji really misses you, you know.” Joel said out of the blue. He thought there was no easy way to say it so to just come out and say it.
She chose to act like he didn’t say his last sentence but he could tell from her eyes how much it meant to her.
“he really does miss you, he so gutted about how things happened and regrets his bad choices. He not been himself at all. Do you think you could at least talk to him.. call him.” Joel tried his best.
“I don’t think so.” She started to shit off he knew he had to try harder.
“he loves you always have always will but I think you already know that don't you. Do you love him?” He knew the answer and knew he was putting alot of emotional pressure on her but something had to be don’t no one can carry on how they have been.
She was silent for a while to the point Joel almost gave up hope then she broke the silence.
“its always been Benji... always has been... probably always will be.” She said quietly.
“so tell him... talk to him.” Joel pleaded
“I can't.” She said quietly her voice cracking with tears.
“why not?” He said in almost a whisper.
“It’s just too hard.. He.. broke my trust.. Brain too... but it hurts more from Benji we was supposed to be so close tell each other everything...” She trialled off then frowned “you haven’t mentioned Brian once... what’s he got to say for himself?”
Joel looked awkward again he wasn’t prepared for that question how does he tell her he's moved on already.
“Joel?”
“Brian erm Well he’s seeing someone else.” Joel looked concerned for Robyn’s reaction. She looked taken back but better than he expected.
“oh really.. well good for him.” She said coldly.
“I’m sorry Rob..”
“you’ve got nothing to be sorry for Joel.” She said he smiled and they went silent again Robyn seemed deep in thought.
“it would never have worked out between us anyway.” Robyn spoke up again.
“because you live Benji.” Joel smiled.
“maybe.”
“so your going to call him.” Joel said hopefully

“No” she said simply Joel sighed.
“please at least think about it.” Joel said.
“how long are you here for?” Robyn asked changing the subject.
“I leave tomorrow night.”
“flying visit.” Robyn said
“I had to be discreet so Benj didn’t get suspicious.”
“right let’s go see the real love of my life.” Robyn smiled getting up to see Diego.

The next day Joel hung out at the stable yard with Robyn and the team they all had a good chat and catch up. Robyn missed having the likes of Joel around. That evening Robyn drove Joel to the airport.
“it was nice seeing you Joel.” She said giving him a hug.
“you too Rob look after yourself and keep in touch.” He said.
“I will I promise I’ll answer calls” she smiled.
“And please think about talking to Benji.” He pleaded.
She just nodded. As they called him through for his flight.

Joel had just arrived home to find Benji waiting at his house.
“Hey Benj how’s it going.” Joel said hoping Benji was suspicious to where he's been.
“alright. How are you? where’ve you been. I called last night and you weren’t home?” Benji asked.
“Oh I err.. just had some errands to run and... bumped into a friend and...” Joel stuttered.
“Joel your not fooling me what’s going on.” Benji said not buying Joel’s attempt at a cover story. Joel sighed.
“look Benj sit down.” He motioned to the table and started making a coffee. “I went to see Robyn.”
“What.”
“I went up with Dan to see Robyn. She hasn’t answered anyone’s calls and I wanted to see that she was ok. Hopefully talk to her... for you.”
“how is She?”
“she ok...”
“but...”
“Shes still a bit closer off to what went on. You know what she’s like. She uses this tough girl persona to hide her vulnerabilities. As you know she was really hurt by you and Brian..”
“I know. I know and I beet myself up about it every day I don’t need you to lecture me again.”
“no Benj she admitted she has feelings for you..”
“really.” Benji looked hopeful.
“but she is still hurt and angry.”
“What do I do?”
“give her time but don’t give up.”