Categories > Original > Mystery

By The Book

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

Garfield, Nermal, and Odie have their own Detective Agency. Oh and Odie talks!

Category: Mystery - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2019-02-25 - 2908 words - Complete

Finally, back from my Pickle Selling Venture! Enjoy this Garfield fanfic that came to me as an idea!

Behind the closed door of the "By The Book" detective agency, Garfield, Odie, and Nermal were all on the phones and kept making the mistake of answering each other's phone. "Call back later! We're busy!" said Garfield, Odie, and Nermal repeatedly as they answered the phone. Just then, a duck in an inner tube, and a pig walked inside. They were Orson and Wade from U.S. Arces.

Garfield was a tough as nails detective unlike Nermal and Odie who just wanted to have fun all the time.

The trio were still answering the phones when Orson shouted, "EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE!" The stooges then stopped answering the phones. "What can I do for you, gents?" asked Garfield. "Welcome to the By The Book..." said Nermal, but Garfield slaps him and says, "I saw these guys first! Now what can I do for you?" "You got to help us, we're scared!" said Wade with fright in his eyes and a weak tone of voice. "Well, I'm not. You see we've been getting chased by these thugs, and they stole my friend's suit!" explained Orson. "Oh, and get this, the thugs names are Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo!" said Orson.

Odie started cracking up, "That's one of the most stupidest names I've ever heard! Were their parents dropped on their heads as babies?" Garfield came up to Odie who was still laughing and said, "No, but you're about to be hit on the head!" Garfield hits Odie on the head, his fist knocking Odie into the ground, but he gets up again. Odie then starts to give Wade a funny look. "My name's Orson the Pig. And this is my life-long friend, Wade! Wade Chicken." said Orson, as he shakes Garfield and Nermal's hands, and accidentally shakes Wades. Odie heard Wade's name and chanted, "Wade! Wade! He's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!" "Shut up!" shouted Garfield as he pulled Odie's tongue out. "OUCH!" "We'll be happy to help you guys! You can depend on us because we always put the bad guys in their place!" said Nermal. "I'm glad we found you!" said Wade. "We couldn't have gone to the police about this because they are very corrupt and apathetic in this town." said Orson.

Odie walked right up to Wade. "Hey, do you box?" asked Odie to Wade. "You mean as in boxing?" asked Wade, and then Wade said, "I've never boxed in my life!" "He doesn't even know." began Orson, "Trust Me." "You're dressed like a swimmer, you need boxer shorts!" said Odie in spite. Then, Odie started throwing his fists around and dancing, "C'mon tough guy! Let's see what you're made out of! ruff ruff ruff! "C'mon punk! Put up your dukes! ruff ruff ruff!" Wade didn't get what Odie was doing. "I haven't much of a choice! My shorts was stolen!" said Wade. Odie stopped and patted Wade on the back, "I understand kid," said Odie, and then right out of the blue, Odie sucker-punched Wade, which sent him flying into a garbage can. Wade began to sob. "Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't much of a choice! I just sucker-punched you!" said Odie. Garfield came onto the scene. "What's the matter with you? We're supposed to help these guys, not fight with them!" shouted Garfield as he slapped Odie in the face repeatedly. Orson then got angry and said,

"Why do you guys have to act so immature! Why don't you guys act like gentlemen?!" said Orson, with a sarcastic tone in his voice. Nermal found Wade upside down in the garbage can. Wade sobbed, "I've fallen! And I can't get up!" Nermal helped him out.

"It's our nature to act immature, Orson sir!" said Nermal. "And mine to act cute!" "Listen," began Garfield, "My partners and I will file a report, you guys stay here we'll be back!" said Garfield as he left the scene grabbing Nermal and Odie by the paws. Nermal and Odie followed Garfield. Orson and Wade were waiting for them to come back in their office. "I sure hope these guys could help us! I'm not so sure if I like that Odie fellow!" said Orson. "I hate them! They're ugly!" said Wade coldly and childishly. "Would you rather we go to the police? I rather like them! They're the best detectives in town! I hope they put Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo behind bars for good!" said Orson as he sat down and wrote a letter and placed a photograph of Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo for evidence.

The letter said, "These thugs that were chasing me and my friend were after us for a long time. All because we witnessed them kill someone for giving them a dirty look. They've stolen our money, my friend's suit, and our possessions. Here's a photograph I had taken of the culprits. Signed, Orson Pig." While Orson wrote that letter, Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo sneaked in through the window and grabbed Wade and carried him away without Orson noticing. Wade didn't make a sound because Sparky grabbed him by the mouth as he was being carried out of the window.

When Orson was done writing the letter, he noticed Wade was gone. Orson assumed Wade was joking around. "Okay, Wade! This is no time to play hide and seek! You can come out now! Don't be afraid of Odie! Wade?....Wade? Wade!" said Orson as he frantically looked for Wade. Then Hector peeped through the window and threw a dart which stick in Orson's behind. Orson took out the dart and saw Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo drive off in the direction of left. "NO!!!!! They've kidnapped Wade!!!! Those greasy thugs!" shouted Orson.

Garfield, Nermal, and Odie came back into the office. Odie asked, "Where's your scaredy half?" Garfield shoved him, "What happened, Orson?" asked Nermal. "They kidnapped Wade! And I saw where they went! They went left of this building down the street!" answered Orson.

"C'mon boys! Into the paddy wagon! And thanks for the evidence!" said Garfield as he took the letter Orson wrote and the photograph. "We're a-comin' to the rescue!" said Nermal. Odie looked in their closet full of weapons of everything from guns to shovels and Odie had taken out a hammer that looked like a large rubber mallet. "I'm takin' along my trusty hammer! ruff ruff ruff!" said Odie cheerfully as they headed into their car with Orson following them.

Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson got into their car and chased Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo's car in hot pursuit. Garfield was driving and Orson was up front with him. Nermal and Odie were in the back seat chanting, "We'll get those lookers!" began Nermal. "Those crookers!" said Odie. "Save the victim!" said Nermal, "We'll lick 'em!" said Odie. Then Nermal and Odie both said, "Cuz no guys named Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo are ever gonna beat us! No way! No how! No way No How!""

To stop them Garfield purposely ran over a speed bump, which resulted in everyone getting their heads bumped on the top of the car. "Be careful!" shouted Orson. "Nice going, Garfield!" said Nermal. "Shut up! There's no time for horsin' around!" shouted Garfield. "I can't wait to get those guys! I'll bop 'em all over the head with my trusty hammer!" said Odie as he proudly displayed his hammer. When the chase was over, they found themselves at a haunted house.

Later on, Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo showed their boss, Dr. Heathcliff, a mad feline scientist who was inventing a serum that turns humans into gorillas, their victim, Wade. "Throw him on that rack! I'll use this serum on him! Good work boys!” Wade was soon tied to the rack and didn't scream for help because he really didn't know what was going on. "What are you going to do with me? Get me off this thing!" pleaded Wade. Dr. Heathcliff came at Wade with a shot and dispatched Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo to find Orson. Wade began to cry in fear. "BUT I DON'T WANNA GET A SHOT!" he shouted.

Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson ran from their car and into the haunted house. Once they were inside, the door slammed shut unexpectedly. Everyone screamed. "Oh, Wade! Wadeley! It's me, Orson! Where are you? Can you hear me?" Orson called out. "They probably have him in a safe place where he can't hear us." suggested Nermal. Garfield scratched Nermal and said, "No one asked for your theories, smarty-pants!" Odie looked around armed with his hammer, "Where are they? I'll be the first to get 'em, via my hammer!" said Odie. Garfield had taken the hammer and hit Odie on the forehead with it. "Quit messing around and look for this gentlemen's friend!" ordered Garfield.

They looked all over the house, and eventually ran into Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo, and their boss Dr. Heathcliff … they all had guns in their hands. "So, it's you!" said Garfield to the bad guys. "He looks like a mad scientist!" said Nermal. Odie took a look at Dr. Heathcliff and said in a “Bela Lugosi” voice, "Ve'll ve be purr-fect for your expir-lements?" "Don't encourage them, Odie! Where's my friend?!" shouted Orson to Odie and Dr. Heathcliff. "You asked for Wade? Here he is...." said Dr. Heathcliff as he left for a minute to get Wade, and came back with a gorilla. "Here he is! He's now a gorilla! Thanks to my new serum! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Dr. Heathcliff evilly.

"Let's get them!" shouted Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo together. Wade was now a ferocious Gorilla. Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson ran and screamed. Dr. Heathcliff and his men all shot their guns at them, but missed, so they ordered Wade the Gorilla to chase after them. The chase began.

Iggy, Ooky, Sparky, Dr. Heathcliff and Wade chased Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson all over the house. Garfield, Nermal, and Odie huddled together. "We need a plan!" said Nermal. "No, duh!" said Odie. "I would really like to hear a good plan!" said Orson. "Think you guys! You're supposed to be my partners!!" said Garfield. Suddenly Odie had an idea, "I got it!" he exclaimed. "What?" asked Garfield and Nermal. "I will lick with with my slobber and wham! I whomp them with my hammer!" suggested Odie. "That's the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" said Garfield angrily as Odie hung his face. "Okay! Stop now! We gotta get these guys!" said Orson.

Then Dr. Heathcliff and his men were back; they ordered the Gorilla to beat up on them. The Gorilla (Wade) grabbed Garfield and Nermal by the necks and lifted them and threw Odie and Orson on the floor on stepped on their necks! Dr. Heathcliff laughed evilly. "Look, they're being strangled to their graves!" laughed Dr. Heathcliff as he, Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo watched in enlightenment. Odie found his hammer on the floor and tried to grab it. "Don't worry, I'll save you!" said Odie who's voice sounded garbled. "Reach for the hammer!" said Garfield.

Odie finally reached for his hammer and managed to knock the Gorilla in the stomach, which resulted in the Gorilla letting go of Garfield, Nermal, and Orson. "Wow! Thanks kid!" said Orson. "Anytime!" said Odie in triumph. "But you won't get away from us!" said Wordsworth. Hector said, "We'll fill you all full of holes!" "This isn't over, not by a long shot!" said Mumbo as they got their guns and chased them out of the room and into another. They ordered the Gorilla to follow them too. Garfield, Nermal, and Odie ran into a French butler knocking him over. "Grey Poupon!" shouted the butler. "We can talk this over like gentlemen!" shouted Orson. But Dr. Heathcliff, Wordsworth, Hector, the Gorilla and Mumbo shot at them and they all screamed.

They ran into another room. "Too bad this house doesn't have secret bookcases!" said Nermal. The bad guys were tired and out of breath from running around and chasing them. This gave Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson the opportunity to stop them. "I know they couldn't chase us forever, those wimps! Hee hee hee hee hee!" laughed Odie. Suddenly the phone rang, and Odie went to go get it.

"Hello?" answered Odie as he picked up the receiver. "Oh, Dr. Heathcliff!" called Garfield. "What is it?" Dr. Heathcliff said as he entered the room. "You got a phone call!" said Nermal. "Oh, I do, eh?" said Dr. Heathcliff. "Yeah, it's for you!" said Odie as he handed receiver to the doctor. "Hello," Dr. Heathcliff asked and just then, Odie hit him over the head with his hammer knocking him cold for good.

Orson laughed. "Even though you guys are immature, you sure are good at detective work!" said Orson. Right when they were about to leave the room, the Gorilla stopped them and they all quivered. "ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff!" screeched Odie in fear that it was so loud that it irritated Garfield's ear, and Garfield slapped him. "What they matter with you, screaming in my ear?" Then Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo snuck up from behind. "You may have stopped our boss, but you won't stop us!" said Hector.

"I wish we can do something! I can say we're at the end of our rope!" said Nermal. "See you on the other side, cretins!" said Wordsworth. The Gorilla knocked out Garfield and Nermal by hitting them with his fists and shoved Orson into a wall. "That does it! I may be a detective but I ain't no pushover!" said Odie. Just then Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo shot their guns missing again and Odie danced around and jumped up and hit Mumbo on the head knocking him cold. Odie did the same with Wordswoth, and eventually got to Hector.

Right after Odie subdued Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo, Garfield and Nermal got up and their heads were hurting. They saw Odie with his hammer. "Nice work, kid!" complemented Garfield as he patted him on the back. "Great job! How did you do it?" asked Nermal. "I owe it all to my trusty hammer! I gotta tell you guys the story of how I held up some gangsters in a bar!" said Odie. Orson got up and found some rope and tied up Dr. Heathcliff, Hector, Wordsworth, and Mumbo who were all still knocked out cold. And Orson finally came to terms that his friend Wade was now a Gorilla.

"You guys brought justice! And I owe it all to you guys!" said Orson. Just then the Gorilla comes up from behind them and roars. And then Garfield, Nermal, Odie, and Orson screamed and jumped out through a window and the Gorilla was chasing them. Once they were outside, they saw an old stretcher and got on it. "C'mon boys!" ordered Garfield as they all got on the stretcher and sailed away with the Gorilla still chasing them. They were going down the street with cars honking at them and they were even holding up traffic! "ruff ruff ruff ruff!" shouted Odie as the stretcher sailed on.

Then the French butler who was walking on a sidewalk sees the stretcher and it knocks him over and then the Gorilla steps on him. "Grey Poupon!" shouted the French butler. The stretcher goes through another street, Orson couldn't take the speed. "I don't know how you guys could handle this!" said Orson. "I think it's fun!" said Odie, and then Garfield hit him in the face. "I'll get that Gorilla!" said Odie as he got out his hammer and he swung it at the Gorilla. He hit the Gorilla in the stomach, which resulted in the Gorilla getting pushed into the street and then hit by a trolley. "Success! Success!" shouted Garfield, Nermal, and Odie as they all shook each other's hands.

The stretcher stopped, and everyone got off. Orson tells them, "You know I learned something today!" starts Orson. "What's that, Orson?" asked Nermal. "That there's more to life than putting up with a friend who's scared all the time! I've decided to go to Indiana and start my own farm! And you guys taught me that I can live my life without Wade!" said Orson. "Well, that's good! At least there's nothing holding you back now, Orson! No dumb friend, no hoodlums!" said Garfield. "Well, bye for now! Thanks for all your help, men!" said Orson as he walked off. "No, thank you! Bye!" said, Garfield, Nermal, and Odie together.

"Well, I guess that's another case closed! " said Odie as he accidentally hit Garfield and Nermal with his hammer into the ground. And Garfield pretended not to get mad, and neither did Nermal. They both got up and laughed. "You guys aren't mad at me?" asked Odie. "Of, course not!" said Nermal. They continued laughing until Garfield took the hammer and was about to hit Odie with it. Then, Odie screamed and ran away and Garfield and Nermal ran after him. "Come back here, you brainless canine!" shouted Garfield. "We'll get back at you!" shouted Nermal. "I was going to say that!" shouted Garfield at Nermal as he kicked him in the back. Odie ran down the street screaming and Garfield and Nermal chased him on with Garfield armed with the hammer, into the city and then the sunset.

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