Categories > Cartoons > Family Guy

Something To Be Remembered For

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

An alternate version of Houseful of Peters. Worried that many of the children he had fathered will forget about him one day. Peter Griffin gives them all a bonding experience of a lifetime.

Category: Family Guy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2019-12-27 - 2083 words - Complete

Looking out the living room window. There were the over hundreds of children that was the result of Peter Griffin donating his sperm. They were all on the front lawn socializing and walking around. Peter sighs at them all.

"Hey, Peter, what's going on?" asked Lois. Brian followed Lois.

"Oh, hello, Lois." Answers Peter.

"Is there a problem? I'm really sorry that my little prank phone call lead to all this........." Lois says.

"No, it's not that. It's just......" Peter tries to get out the words.

"Feeling any regrets?" Lois guesses.

"What am I trying to say is. After today. Discovering all these people who are my children. They'll return to their normal lives and probably.....sigh.....forget about me." Peter said.

"Why does that matter? You never were part of their lives. Basically you're nothing to them." Lois said. Brian adds, "They probably think of whoever was the male influence in their lives raised them as their father."

Peter stands, "I want to do something with them. Something they will always remember me for."

Brian walks into the living room and suggests, "Hey, I know! Why don't you swallow a whole bunch of nickles and go blind?" Lois nags, "Brian!" "What? It was just a joke! Don't take it so fucking personal, sheesh!" Brian said.

"I really wish I can help you out that way. Afraid you're on your own here, Peter." Lois says not wanting to help.

"DAMMIT! There has to be......" Peter struggles to think of a way to bond with his many brood. Chris runs up to Peter. "Great news Dad!" "Oh hey Chris! What's on your mind, champ?"

Chris tells Peter, "I went to a lawn mower store and someone told the manager the lawn mower he bought was defective. Then I stepped into help and I fixed the motor and filled it with gas and it worked good as new!"

Peter talks in a sweet child like voice, "Really Sling Blade? Would you like some French Fried Potaters that that, too?" Chris runs away, "You're a son of a bitch, Dad!"

Shouting out, "It's your own fault! I was in a middle of a very important thought. Then you distracted me with your retarded little story!" Brian said, "You really want to bond with these people, Peter." "Yes I do. Don't know where to begin." Peter said. "You're going to have to think of something very big to get their attention." Brian implied.

Sitting on the couch. Peter turned on the TV. Tom Tucker was on the news. "I'll just see what's on the boob tube until an idea comes to me." Peter said.

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker." "And I'm Joyce Kinney!" "Our top story today. Forgotten short lived 1980's cereal icon Ice Cream Jones is under suspicion that many children who bought ice cream from him died of poisoning and...explosions too?" A picture of Ice Cream Jones is shown on a right hand corner looking as he did all those years ago.

"That's right, Tom. It is rumored that some of Ice Cream Jones's cones were made out of explosives. Which caused several deaths among children. Ice Cream Jones is even known to kill witnesses who see his crimes."

"Ice Cream Jones is also on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List," Tom reported. "He must be caught at once! Stay tunes for more further developments about Ice Cream Jones."

Peter said, "I FOUND IT!" "You found what, Peter?" asked Brian. "The thing I can get my kids to remember me for!" said Peter. "Yeah sure. You think Ice Cream Jones is going to give into you and your many Peters and let you turn him over to the authorities. All the best of luck to you, Peter." Brian walks out of the room.

Running out into the front lawn, Peter gets a megaphone and tells his 'kids', "Come inside at once! I have a very important announcement to make!" All the Peters he fathered trampled into his house and Peter leads them into his basement.


Now in the basement, Peter Griffin was telling his many "Peters" about Ice Cream Jones. "Saw this on the news. There is an evil ice cream man on the loose. His name is Ice Cream Jones!" Peter explains to them all. Katie the female 'Peter' asks, "What does he do that's so evil?" Peter answers, "He's known to give kids poison cones and exploding cones!" Tyler the midget 'Peter' asked, "How are we going to find him?" Peter turns on a police radio. "My friend Joe gave me this police radio. Where ever he strikes that's when we'll attack this asshole!" Larry ponders, "Wasn't he some sort of cereal icon?" "Only the worst one ever! I hated Ice Cream Jones! I wanted to kill that son of a bitch from day one!" Peter slammed his fist. "Though I will admit his cereal was awesome!"

"From what you told us, maybe you are right to hate him." Katie says. "What would you like us to do?" asked Larry. "I want you all to band together with me to murder him! Throw Ice Cream Jones off the face of the earth! We will do it, Raiders of The Lost Ark style!" Peter tells all his many 'Peters."

The 'Peters' cheered on Peter as they agree to help him stop Ice Cream Jones from ever again committing any crimes against children. The police radio plays, "Ice Cream Jones. Quahog's Public Enemy Number One has just been spotted headed to Quahog Pier!" The German Peter says, "I will shake him silly with my accordian!" The offspring that looked like Meg says, "I say we Orphan Black him!"

With his many 'Peters' among him. They all go to a bus station and steal a bus. Peter drives his sperm donation offspring to Quahog Pier. "Will you check me the fuck out! Me driving my many children. I feel like Dewey Cox!"

Miles away from Quahog Pier, Ice Cream Jones drives by on his bike ringing his bells next to Peter's bus singing his jungle. "My name's Ice Cream Jones! With cereal call Ice Cream Cones! A crunchy new cereal for dying! With the shitty taste of poison cones! Not only that, and exploding cones too!" ding ding ding ding ding! Went off the bell on Ice Cream Jones's bike. "Was that him? asked Katie. "It sure was!" Peter implied. A Black Peter says, "Damn that honky ass is fucked up!" "I'll be glad when we kill him." Larry said. "We do karate chop! Can we do karate chop!?" asked an Oriental Peter.

"You can say that again! Okay, all you Peters. Are you with me?" Peter shouted. All the 'Peters' on the bus say, "YES!"

"ARE YOU WITH ME?" Peter shouts again!

"YES!" all the Peters answer loudly.

"ARE YOU WITH ME!" Peter asked again.

"YES!" the Peters shout loudly once more.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Peter said.

"YES!" all the Peters have now erupted into cheers.

"That's what I like to hear!" Peter said.

Ice Cream Jones sees Peter on the bus as he makes his way to Quahog. "Perfect! Those must be children on the bus! Children are the perfect victims! So young and naive!" Wringing his hands in an evil way. If he only knew it was a band of Peter Griffins that were on their way to end his reign of terror. Two children a boy and a girl came up to him.

"Oh look! It's Ice Cream Jones! I want vanilla!" said the girl. "Give me chocolate chip!" said the boy. Ice Cream Jones gives the girl a poison cone and shoves it down her throat until she chokes, coughs up blood thus her eyeball pop out and dies. "How's that for vanilla, bitch! ha ha ha ha!" The boy gasped in horror and said, "I'm telling!" Ice Cream Jones took out a gun aimed it at the boy and said, "Did you want chocolate chip?" "Not anymore!" the boy protested. "Here's your chocolate!" shooting the boy in the chest. "And here's your chip!" then shooting the boy in the head until he fell to his death.

An armor truck was driving to the Quahog Pier. Ice Cream Jones breaks into the drivers seat of the truck. "Kill all witnesses!" he says and kills the driver then cuts the driver open and eats his liver. "Now THIS would make a good ice cream! Liver, Fava beans, and Chianti Ice Cream!" Peter tells his sperm donation offspring. "We found him, everybody out!"

"WOOOOOO! HOOOOO!" All the Peter Griffins cheered getting off the bus. Peter was proud as a tear was coming to his eye. "After today, they all remember me forever!"


Ice Cream Jones soon finds himself surrounded by Peter and his many offspring. "Oh good! Retarded fat adults! Hey, how would you all like to have a taste of my exploding cones!"

"Not a chance, Ice Cream Jones!" Peter said as he confronted him.

"The one thing we are not is retarded!" said one of the Peters.

"What do you mean you don't want my poison cones?" asked Ice Cream Jones.

"We all know about you and your questionable ice cream! That's why we are here to eliminate you!" Peter points at him.

"You and what army! You all don't stand a chance against me and my poison and or exploding cones!" Ice Cream Jones tells them all.

"You're beaten Ice Cream Jones! There's only one of you and there's 300 of us!" Peter tells the evil ice cream man. "Get him!"

Ice Cream Jones soon finds himself mobbed by the many Peters. However he is able to somewhat fight his way out and go into the armor truck.

"HE'S GETTING AWAY! SOMEONE STOP HIM!" Peter demands! "I'll get that sucka, this is how we do it in the 'hood!" one of the black Peter offspring said. It turns out the black Peter has a missile launcher and shots it at the armor truck Ice Cream Jones used to escape. The missile was a dud that only caused the armor truck to tip over, resulting in a mild explosion. Ice Cream Jones runs out of the now damaged armor truck and he was on fire. "GREAT WORK BLACK PETER!" said Larry.

"Oh goody gumdrops!" Peter said very pleased. "He's a human torch now! Now he's going to be singing a song of Fire and Ice!" Peter giggled. Katie said, "He just doesn't want to give up!"

All the many Peters got out guns and shot up Ice Cream Jones to his death. Ice Cream Jones was now dead but was still on fire. His cadaver just laid there until he burned into a black skeleton. Peter and his offspring of Peters all cheered.

"WE DID IT! WE DID IT! ICE CREAM JONES IS NO MORE!" Peter shouted happily. All the Peters hugged each other and cried tears of happiness. "I'm so proud of you all!" Peter tells his offspring.

Tomorrow came and Peter Griffin was given a Medal of Honor by Boo Berry for his bravery and heroics in defeating Ice Cream Jones. Lois, Joe, Quagmire, Cleveland, Chris, Brian, and Stewie. Along with all the Peters were in the stands of Quahog City Hall and chanting for Peter. Brian said, "Hmmm! Peter actually did it! Can't believe it!" All the cereal icons were there everyone from Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Lucky, Trix Rabbit, Cap'N Crunch, Sonny, Snap Crackle and Pop, Tony The Tiger, Toucan Sam, The Bee From Honey Nut Cheerios, Sugar Bear, and the Sun from Raisin Bran.

"I'm glad Ice Cream Jones is a goner!" said Count Chocula.

Franken Berry agreed, "Yes, we could've never been one of us!"

Boo Berry tells Peter, "You saved us all from Ice Cream Jones!" "It's an honor, Boo Berry! You'll always be my favorite!" Peter says.

"LET'S HEAR IT FOR PETER GRIFFIN! HIP HIP! HOORAY! HIP HIP! HOORAY!" Afterwards, Peter's offspring remembered Peter for the rest of their lives and all agree to visit him anytime. Whenever they want to go on a exciting outing or just to take them to fun places as well.

Outside of the City Hall Ice Cream Jones's bike remained. Herbert sees it and empties out all the 'ice cream' that was poisoned or explosive. And replaces it with some 'ice cream' of his own.

"My turn now!" Herbert said as he rides off on Ice Cream Jones's bike doing a wheelie and ringing the bell.

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