FicWad

I ran up the stairs to the roof with him in tow. Now his hand was holding onto mine, instead of me just holding and him not doing anything.
Once on the roof I climbed up on the ledge and held my hand out for him. He nervously bit his lip but reached out for it. I helped him up and lead him to my spot that I always sat on in the middle of the night. It was wider in the middle with a brick wall standing behind it for support. The perfect place to sit and think about things that weren't relevant anymore.
I sat down, leaned back against the wall and reached out for Patrick's hand. He gladly took it and sat down beside me. We stared out over the parking lot illuminated by a hazy yellow street lamp.
I breathed in the cool night air and lightly squeezed his hand. His was so much bigger than mine, with long fingers and warm palms. Mine with short, thick fingers that only looked longer because of my semi-long black nails.
He started humming the song he sang at the rec. center and smiled while he did it. He seemed so confident once you got to know him, with so much influence and integrity. I wanted so much to kiss him, to feel his soft warm lips on mine. But I blinked away that thought when he started talking.
"Every time I sing that song I think of people I care about." He breathed.
I nodded and leaned farther back against the wall, feeling the cool brick sink deep into my back. He shifted positions so he was kneeling right in front of me. We were in an awkward state of mind where we both knew what we wanted but wanted to know the other one wanted.
"What do you do when you're alone?" He whispered like he was afraid someone would hear him.
"I think about that special person that's meant only for me." Our faces were getting closer. He kissed me deeply; it felt so right but so wrong at the same time.
I pushed him away and stood up, too soon. He reached for my hand but I shook my head and started to walk away. Once off the ledge I started to run. Too soon. It kept running through my mind like a children's nursery rhyme. I got back to my apartment and slammed the door. Pete, who was sitting at the kitchen table, looked up and gave me a questioning stare.
I looked down and sighed. I really didn't want him to know what just happened, even though I knew Patrick would tell him later.
"I'm going to sleep." I looked away from his eyes. "Please don't make too much noise; I have to go to work tomorrow."
When I got in my bedroom I closed the door and leaned against it sliding to the floor. Why did I let that happen? I wanted it? Didn't I? Then again, it was too soon. I just met him and already we were kissing and spooning each other to sleep. I really did like him, but it was too soon to say I loved him. Only time could tell if we were going to be more. We couldn't control who our feelings were for, we couldn't control our fate no matter how much we wanted to believe we could.
There came a knock at my door. I didn't want to open, but I often go against what I did want to do and did the thing that was right. I pulled myself off the floor and opened the door. It was Sabrina; she gave a sympathetic smile and breezed in. She sat down on my bed patted the mattress as an invitation it sit. I did.
"I saw what happened." She said quietly.
"I know you did." I commented.
"Both me and Joe did." She said even quieter.
I looked at her shocked, she smiled and hugged me.
"You did the right thing."
"How is kissing a guy I hardly know the 'right thing'?"
"Not that." She rolled her eyes. "The fact you pushed him away."
I forced a smile and hugged her back. She got up and kissed my cheek, she was almost like my sister.
"Stay strong." She closed the door and her footsteps faded away.
I sighed and wiped my eyes, this couldn't get any worse. But, of course, it did. My cell phone rang, biting my lip I picked it up. The display said unknown, but I knew who it was.
"Hello?"
"Honey? Is that my baby?"
"How did you find my number?"
"Don't bother asking, I couldn't tell you if I tried."
"What do you want?" I spat.
"Please come home, I miss you here."
"Mom, no." I said flatly. "I'm not coming home."
"But, I need you."
"No, you did just fine without my there for more than a year."
"But-!"
"No!" I shouted into the phone. "Don't' call this number again; in fact just lose the number."
I turned it off and threw in across the room. But it rang again. Don't answer it. I picked it up and read the display. It was a different number. This one I didn't know at all.
"H-hello?"
"Please forgive me."
"I never was mad at you."
"Why did you push me away?"
"I wasn't ready." I sighed. "Why are you calling me from a payphone?"
"Your doors locked and no one is coming when I knock."
"Ah, I see." I smiled, wasn't I mad at him a few seconds ago?
"Can I come in or am I forced to sleep on the streets tonight?"
"You can come in on one circumstance."
"Name it."
"You don't do anything I don't want you to."
"You're keeping me on a pretty short leash."
"I like it that way." I smirked hanging up the phone and walking out into the kitchen.
He sat at the table and smiled, why he called me I'll never know. I sat down beside him and sighed. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I rested my head in his shoulder. We fit so perfectly together, but then again we didn't. My eyelids started getting heavy and my head started to roll around on my neck. Next thing I knew I was getting hoisted up and carried down the hall.
He laid me down on the bed and tucked me in. I yawned and stretched. He smiled and turned to leave, I let him. When the door closed I knew now would be a good time to sleep, but I didn't want to. The sheets felt clammy and hot against my skin as I shifted under the blankets and found a somewhat comfortable spot.
After about fifteen minutes of shifting and grunting I got up and went to my window. It looked out over the parking lot and someone of normal build could easily slip out onto the roof. I slid on my shoes and forced open the window. I slid out into the dull light and walked out to my spot on the roof. I again let the cool brick sink into my back as I leaned back against the wall. Usually I would sit out on the roof when slight insomnia would kick in and I wouldn't get to sleep no matter what I tried to do.
I sighed and closed my eyes and placed my hands into the gravel that carpeted the roof. This was gonna be a long night.