Categories > Cartoons > American Dad

My So-Klaus Life

by PickleGarden 1 review

This fanfic is the American Dad equivalent to Former Life Of Brian.

Category: American Dad - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2020-06-24 - 4977 words - Complete

Getting off a metro bus, Roger and Klaus were dropped off at Groff Community College. "Roger, are you sure this is a good way for me to meet women?" asks Klaus. "Of course it is. College girls are the most horniest of them all!" Roger said.

"We're going to a party, right?" Klaus asked again. "You bet. It should be just around the corner," Roger said. Having a hard time trying to find a party, Roger asks one of the college students walking past him. "Excuse me? Do you know anything about a party?" asks Roger. "Sure, dude! There's a pool party up head! Just follow me!" the college student says.

The student leads Roger and Klaus outside the campus to the outdoor pool. A party lays out before them.

"Hello? Room for one more?" asked Roger.

"Sure! Come on in!" said another college student.

Roger and Klaus both dived into the water. All the college students clapped for them. Roger swims up from being under. Klaus swims next to him. "What's the next step?" asked Klaus. "Pick out any girl would you be interested in." Roger said. "Okay. Here I go." Klaus said. Roger watches Klaus swim to a girl who had tattooes that covered both her arms and was wearing a bikini.

"Guten Tag! How do you do!?" asked Klaus to the girl. "Hello cutie! Where did you come from?" asked the girl. Klaus tells her, "Are you busy this weekend?" said Klaus. "No, I don't got anything going on, why?" asked the girl.

Klaus gives the girl his cellphone number. "Here's mein number if you ever want to call me." The girl looks at Klaus, "Say, you're a fish!" "I am! My name is Klaus! What's yours?"

"I'm Polly." said the girl. "Pleased to meet you." Klaus tells Polly. "This went better than I expected." said Roger watching the whole thing.

"You know, fish are kind of my thing. I'm going scuba diving this weekend. If you want to, bring a friend!" Polly invited Klaus.

"Wunderbar! I love scuba diving. I used to work with Jacques Cousteau! I do a killer impression of him." Klaus tells Polly. "Let's hear it!" Polly says. Klaus does his impersonation, "Hello. Welcome to the wonderful world of Scuba Diving! Hope I don't have a heart attack!" Polly laughs, "That is so my humor! I'm studying marine biology! I love underwater things so much that I even played The Little Mermaid in a school play!" "So it's settled, let's meet for Scuba Living on Saturday! Got it!" Klaus asks. "It's a date!" said Polly.

Feeling higher than the clouds, Klaus was very excited that he got a date with a college girl.

"Well, look at you Klaus! You are the Big Fish on Campus!" Roger said feeling impressed for Klaus.

"Could not have done it without you, Roger! The best part about this is, she doesn't care that I'm a fish!" Klaus said with delight.

"Let's go get you some scuba gear and watch Into The Blue and Open Water!" Roger said. Klaus and Roger stay at the pool party until it was over. Klaus socialized with Polly some more.

When Saturday came around, Klaus gets a call from Polly to meet her at the Langley Falls Lake. Roger and Klaus were in the living room. "This is it! My big date!" Roger puts on his scuba gear then puts some on Klaus. "Can you imagine they made scuba gear for fish!" laughed Roger. "Well, although I really don't need it, I want her to think I'm experienced in the field." Klaus said. Roger and Klaus go inside the Smith Family SUV and drive to the Langley Falls Lake to meet Polly. "Oh I hope I do this right!" Klaus said thinking that something uncertain can happen.

Upon arriving at Langley Falls Lake, Roger and Klaus both wave to Polly who was there wearing scuba gear.

"Polly! Polly! Over here!" Klaus called out to Polly.

"Hey! Klaus! The fish from the pool party! You and your friend come on over!" Polly says.

Roger and Klaus both go into the lake. "Ladies and gentlemen! Give a round of applause to the Amazing Klaus!" Roger said.

Polly claps and cheers as Klaus did a triple flip into the water. "Awesome!" Polly cheers.

Roger says, "Can't believe I agreed to be Klaus's matchmaker. Oh, who am I trying to kid? I insisted on it!"

Polly told Klaus, "Thank you so much for being my date today Klaus. Bridget and I are very happy you can come scuba diving with us."

"Oh thanks. Wait, what?" Klaus said unsettled and stunned.

Polly says, "Yes, Bridget! My girlfriend!" Bridget walks up to Polly who had blond hair, and the same body type as Polly.

Klaus shouts, "Girlfriend! Oh come on! I paid $800 dollars for all this shit! You have a girlfriend?"!

"Yeah," said Polly. "I told you to bring a friend, so I brought one too! Did I mention I'm bisexual?"

"No, that didn't come up." Klaus said. Bridget tells Klaus, "And I'm a great woman! I'm unemployed. That makes her feel useful in the relationship!"

Polly continues, "I plan to fix her." "Our relationship will do fine on that basis!" said Bridget. "If she had her life together like I do. I wouldn't be into it." Polly concludes.

"You bitch! You dirty filthy bitch! I am so sick of always being stood up! This ALWAYS happens to me when I try to date. Since I got put into the body of a fish. Thus having to move around in this bowl!" Klaus spouted angerly.

Polly and Bridget look at Klaus then crack up at him.

Klaus swims away and leave Roger behind, "Know what? You both can go fuck yourselves! I'm outta here!"

Roger emerges from the water in his scuba gear, "Hey, Klaus! Did you do the hortizontal mumbo with her, or what?" Roger soon finds himself the middle of the lake. "KLAUS! KLAUS! Well, this was a lot of effort for nothing!" Roger swims back to the shore. Klaus and Roger drive back home.

At the Smith house, Roger and Klaus contemplate about the scuba diving trip.

Klaus ranted on, "It was so humiliating! Look at how much stuff I put meinself though just to get a piece of ass!"

Roger agrees, "I know! We even used Stan's Mastercard. Hope he doesn't find out."

"How will I ever find a woman now?" Klaus moaned.

"When you least expect it, you'll find your soulmate someday." Roger assures his goldfish friend.

Klaus tells a story, "The sad thing is. I already did years ago. Back when I was an Olympic Skiier. I meet a groupie. Her name was Isabel Mathilde. She looked like the girl from the Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate Box. She was from Switzerland. Was the greatest girlfriend I have ever known. I blew it."

Roger yawns, "Why not try to look her up? Go see if she's on Facebook!"

"Am I boring you?" asked Klaus who was suspicious of Roger yawning. "No it's been a long day." answers Roger. "I suppose I can look her up. Just wonder if she'd want to see me. I wasn't exactly the nicest guy in the world......"

A flashback is shown and Isabel and Klaus were at a cafe. "My daddy left me. So that's why I call you Daddy when we have sex."

"Gosh, you're too clingy! I think we should go see other people!" Klaus yells at her then leaves abruptly. While Isabel sat there looking sad.

The flashback ends. Roger was on his computer and looks up Isabel Mathilde on Facebook. Roger runs to Klaus, "Great news! Great news! I just found Isabel Mathilde on Facebook!" Klaus was frozen with shock. "You have?" "Yes I did! And she's right here in Langley falls!" Roger said. "Come on, what are we waiting for! Let's go see her!" Klaus said with a glimmer of hope shining through him.


Driving in Stan's SUV, Roger drove Klaus to Isabel's house. Her house looked like an average house on the outside. Getting out of the car, Roger carries Klaus to the doorstep.

"Well, here it goes," said Klaus. Roger rings the doorbell.

Isabel answers the door. She looked scrawny and frail. She had a chronic cough and had a meth cigarette in her mouth. Klaus was confused to see her. For he saw she was a far cry than what she was before.

"Uh, Isabel? Isabel Mathilde?" asked Klaus. "Who said that?" Isabel looks all around. "Down here, it's me Klaus!"

Isabel looks at Klaus but doesn't understand why he's now a fish, "Oh my gosh! Klaus Heissler! Is that you?" asks Isabel. "Why are you a fish now?"

"It's a long story! So anyhoo, yes it is I!" said Klaus. Roger says, "And all he wants is to kiss you just one more time!"

Klaus observes her recent appearence, "Wow! You sure look different than the last time I saw you." Roger sniffs her and she reeked on cat urine. "Nice fragrance there! Is that a new perfume by Jessica Simpson?"

"Yeah it is a perfume and I got my ears pireced!" said Isabel. Klaus wanted to leave fast, "So to get outta here, I just make a left?"

"Wait, Klaus. I'm actually glad you and your friend found me. There's somebody I wanted you to meet for a lone time." said Isabel. Roger said, "Judging from her raspy voice, I'll bet it's that Mucinex Monster."

"Klaus," Isabel says, then a goth looking teenage girl steps next to her. The intro to Mailyin Manson's Sweet Dreams plays for about 10 seconds. "This is Becky. She's your daughter."

Roger was about to laugh and then says, "Oh my! Got yourself a long lost daughter, there! Child support checks here you come Klaus! Gosh! Take a gander at her! She looks like she could be a part of the Juggalo Family! That's what Insane Clown Posse fans call themselves! Woot Woot!"

Inviting Roger and Klaus inside her house. Although it looks normal on the outside, inside it was filthy. A cinder block on the floor. Pizza boxes all around. Alcohol bottles on the floor and meth stuck to the walls.

"What a lovely home you have Isabel! Why are you here in Langley Falls?" asked Klaus. "This was the only place where I can get my American citizenship. I originally wanted to live in New Jersey. But I just got so used to living here, I didn't even bother anymore." Isabel explains.

"Lovely place my ass! These bitches live in squalor." Roger added.

"I wanted you to meet Becky for a long time." Isabel tells Klaus. "How about that, a daughter!" said Roger. "I feel like Ted Danson in Made In America." said Klaus.

Becky was outside on the porch smoking some weed. Roger and Klaus join her. "Hey, there Becky. Shouldn't you be in school?" asked Klaus. "I haven't been to school in six months!" said Becky. "Tomorrow is Monday." said Klaus. "Who cares! Up your ass, fish!" Becky tells off Klaus. Roger observes her some more, "Hmmm, I think I'm beginning to like your daughter here. I'm attracted to people with bad attitudes!"

Eventually Roger and Klaus went back home. Klaus was telling Stan and Francine the whole story. "It was horrible. After I found out I was the father of a 13 year old girl. She turned out to be a complete thug!" Klaus tells Stan and Francine. Roger says, "She was so cool! She could've been a fun friend for me!" Stan says to Klaus, "You dodged a bullet not having to raise her." Francine says to Klaus, "I don't know. Don't you think you have a responsibility to your daughter?" "No! That girl means nothing to us, there's no way she's coming here. End of story, Klaus!" said Stan.

"I agree Stan. Judging by the looks of her I wanted to disown her! I didn't even know I had a daughter until today!" Klaus rants. Roger said, "It's not like Isabel ever asked for Klaus's help. She's already done a great job providing a child friendly...." Roger eats a piece of wall. "When I was there I got a little craving, so I thought I'd have that crispy meth that was stuck on their walls!" Klaus slaps Roger with his fin. "Great parenting!"

A doorbell rang, and Stan goes to get the door. On the other side, it was Becky who had a note. "My Mom wrote this." said Becky handing Stan the note. Stan reads it and says, "To Klaus from Isabel. She's your problem now! Signed Isabel! P.S. Will you write me a letter to Education Connection?" Klaus gasped when he saw Becky. Roger was ecstatic. "YES!!!!!"

"Mein God!" Klaus yells. Roger introduces Stan and Francine to Becky, "Everyone, this cool kick ass bitch is Becky. Klaus's daughter. Becky is going to be staying with us for a while! Isn't that cool!"

"Becky, it's so nice to meet you!" said Francine. "Fuck you, bitch!" Becky tells Francine. "Oh she's got you there, Francine!" Stan said. Klaus protests, "NEIN! NEIN NEIN! Isabel can't leave him here with me." "We can't just turn her away Klaus. After all she is family." Francine said. "I for one am glad she's staying!" Roger said. "I don't know, where is she going to sleep?" asked Klaus. "She can sleep in my attic!" Roger said. Klaus introduces Becky to Hayley by going to her room.

"Und this is Hayley. Meet my daughter, Becky." Klaus tells Becky. Hayley looks at Becky, "Hello, Becky. Nice to have you here." Becky barges into Hayley's room, "All this stuff here is mine now!" "Hey, you can't just....." Hayley tries to stop Becky. Jeff gets out of bed, "Hey Hayley babe. You didn't tell me we had company!" Becky beats up Jeff then sticks a plunger up his buttocks. Jeff runs away screaming in pain, "AAAHHH! AAAAHHH! AAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAHHHH! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!" Becky cackles, "Now that's what I call How To Lose A Guy in Ten Seconds!"

Hayley says, "You just brutally raped my husband you fucking psycho!" "What you are going to do about it! Mrs. Summer of Love? The sixties are over! Get a job!" Becky said trying to challenge Hayley. Walking into the Smith's Family Living Room, Becky throws a vase. Stan, Francine, and Klaus watched in awe. "Something on your mind, Becky?" asked Stan. "Shut your shit hole ass! You're just an authoritarian conformist, bastard!" Becky tells off Stan. "No you are the shit hole! I am a CIA Agent and I will not tolerate this behavior in my house!" Stan tells Becky. That didn't stop her from being rowdy.

"Oh you're one of those people! Working for the Government who tells us what's normal and what's not! Fuck that!" Becky said. Klaus begged, "I don't know what to do with her! Help me you guys!"

Becky screams, "I HATE YOU ALL! I DIDN'T ASK TO BE FORCED INTO THIS WORLD! If I had a tank of gasoline I'd burn you all in your sleep! Before that, I'd get a knife and stab you all to death!"

"I know what we're going to get her for Christmas!" Francine says. "No Francine! That's enabling! If we did that she'd become a female Michael Myers!" Stan said. Francine tells Klaus, "You have got to get Becky under control!" Roger walks into the living room, "Leave that to me! Oh, Becky!"

"She's terrorizing the whole family! Roger, it's not your job to pull the reigns on Becky!" said Stan. "Oh you think I'm going to straighten her up? Not a chance!" Roger said looking for Becky. Roger finds Becky in the attic tying up Steve. "Let me go! Let me go! Why are you doing this?" pleads Steve. "Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit geek! For the next 48 hours you're going to watch all the cancelled FOX sitcoms!"

Steve begins to cry struggling to free himself, "It's no use!" "First up, you're going to watch Grounded For Life, then it's The War At Home. After that.... you get the idea!" Becky tells Steve. "Oh there you are, Becky!" Roger said.

"What the fuck to you want?" Becky screeched. "You here to set me straight because you think I'm broken?"

"No way! I'm the only one in this house who likes you for who you are!" Roger tells Becky.

"Where are you going with this?" Becky asks punching Steve.

"How about you and I go on a wild night on the town! Just you and me!" said Roger.

Becky agrees to Roger's offer. "Oh you're on!"

Roger and Becky leave to have some fun Steve screams out, "HELP! HELP! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE LAME ASS FOX SITCOMS!"


Roger and Becky stand at the wall of a building with a sign that says, "NO LOITERING." They both look at each other and give a confirmed yes head shake.

Eating ice cream outside of a gym, Roger and Becky were taunting three fat people on a treadmill. Afterwads, Roger and Becky throw toilet paper rolls at a statue of one of the Founding Fathers of Langley Falls. "You are the coolest person I've ever meet, Roger!" said Becky. Roger said, "If you could move in with me I'd let you do whatever you want!" said Roger. "What do you want to do next?" asked Becky. "Hope you brought your skateboard!" Roger said holding two skateboards.

Becky and Roger both skateboard down the steepest hill in Langley Falls. Along the way they use baseball bats to knock over mailboxes.

Back at the Smith House, Stan was reading Klaus the riot act. "I'm giving you an ultimatium here, Klaus. Either fix that daughter of yours or she's outta here!" Stan warns the goldfish. "What I can do! If there was only some way I can get through to her!" Klaus panics. Then Klaus snaps his fins, "That's it! I just need to find something I can bond with her about!" Francine grows worried, "Lord above. Leaving her alone with Roger who knows what she she's capable of!" Hayley and Jeff walk in, "Dad, I for one don't blame you for wanting her out. Instead of sending her away, you should try a social worker!" "Even though she raped me, that sounds better than having her visit a prison or something." said Jeff.

Stan tells Hayley, "That is like you, isn't it? Wanting the bare minimum for potential offenders like her!" Roger and Becky walk in through the front door and laugh. "Thanks for the radical night, man!" Becky said high fiving Roger. "Let's do it again sometime!" Roger said.

Klaus says to Becky, "Hey, Becky. How about we relax and spend some time together!" "What?! I just had a hell of an kicking good time with Roger. Now I gotta spend it with a lame fish like you?" Becky speaks in a sardonic tone,

"You better spend some time with Klaus! Or we'll sending you to....." Stan begins, and Becky rolls her eyes and picks up Klaus in his bowl. "FINE! I'm going! If it'll shut your conformist mouth up!"

Becky and Klaus were in Hayley's room. Klaus tries to stand up to Becky, "You know what, Becky! This isn't working out! I don't care that I'm your father, and you don't care if you're my daughter!" Becky didn't take Klaus seriously, instead she laughs, "I'm getting told off by a fish! You think I'm going to listen to what a fish has to say? Fuck you!" "We have nothing in common, I think it's best if you just get out of this house!" Klaus said.

"Good, about time! I hate it here, anyway!" Becky said as she was leaving, a bag of weed dropped from her pocket.

Klaus and Becky both say, "MY POT!" "YOUR POT!?" Within minutes they begin smoking it together.

High on the weed, Klaus tells Becky his sad life story, "After I.....was an Olympic Skiier..... the CIA put..... mein.....uh...... body into a fish."

"Man, that's sad.....what if it had been the FBI?" asked Becky.

"As long as we're here. I gotta tell you something. You see, Becky." Klaus began, "I'm sorry I wasn't around for you when you were growing up."

" don't...." Becky said trying to hold back her tears.

"If I had known having a daughter would be like this....." Klaus continued.

Becky lashed out, "HOW DARE YOU....." Klaus pleaded in, "Please! Give me a chance, dude! I didn't know..." "You had no right, man! You had no right...." Becky yelled. The both of them began to cry. "It wasn't my fault!" Klaus sobbed. "You weren't there for me...." Becky cried. "DAMMIT TO SHIT! Don't you think I wanted to be......" Klaus cried. Then Becky and Klaus both cried as they hugged each other. "From now on, Becky. I'm going to be the best father anyone could have ever known!" Klaus vows. "Thank you.....Dad!" Becky cries.

Stan and Francine come to see what the noise was all about, "Think they're going to be okay." Francine assures Stan.

"Klaus made a goal for himself and he found something to connect with Becky. She's going to be on the path of the straight and narrow! I just know it!" Stan said.

Becky made an evil gleam in her eye as she looked at Stan when he and Francine were walking away from Hayley's room.


The next day came. Stan was driving Steve and Becky to school in his SUV. Klaus was in the backseat with Becky. Who was now wearing a white blouse and a jean skirt. "Wow, thanks for bonding with me, Dad!" said Becky. "You're entirely welcome! If you ever need anything. I am here!" Klaus said. Steve tells Becky, "Can't believe we're both going to the same school together."

"This is where we get off. Thanks for changing Becky. I don't know what I would've done if she had continued her rampage." Stan said. Klaus and Becky look at each other, "Have a wonderful day in school, Becky. "I will Dad!" Becky said getting out of the SUV.

Entering Pearl Bailey High, Becky walks in, then she sees Roger. "Psst, Becky! Come here." said the alien.

"You're here! Cool!" Becky said. Getting out of her white blouse and skirt and into her usual goth clothes.

Roger suggested, "Your apperance is better in those Lucy Loud clothes!" "So glad to see you." Becky tells Roger. "Instead of being in school, want to go through doughnuts at old people at the mall?"

"I'm there, dude! I didn't want to go to school anyway!" Becky said cheerfully.

Soon after, Stan and Klaus were in the kitchen as they were having a conversation about fatherhood.

"Proud of you Klaus! That's the thing about parenting. Earn their trust, then put the clamps on them!" said Stan.

"Exactly. They're also a huge worry too!" said Klaus.

"I can relate. Even us Dads worry about our kids. Look how I worry about how Hayley turned out.' laughs Stan.

"I know! I wonder about Becky's future. Something else clicked with me," conversates Klaus.

"What is it?" asks Stan.

"Whenever I see a news report about a shooting, or a race riot. I always think what if Becky had been there..." Klaus said.

Francine comes into the kitchen with some grocery bags.

"Hey, guys. I'm back from shopping! Got that Wonder Bread we all like, Stan!" said Francine.

"That's cool." said Stan.

Klaus's eyes bulged out of his head, "Wonder Bread?" "Why? What's wrong with it?" asked Francine. "I don't want Becky eating Wonder Bread!" Klaus said.

Francine grew annoyed, "Ever since you found out that you had a daughter, you have been completely insufferable!"

"Got that right, Francine. Watch this. Hey, Klaus. Did you hear about that news report on that plane crash?" Stan asks.

"Oh yes I have." cries Klaus. "Breaks mein heart."

"What if Becky had been in that plane?" asks Stan. Klaus clenches his heart and moans, "Ooooooh! I don't want to think......"

"That was kind of hilarious, Stan!" giggles Francine. "Watch this too, Hey Klaus there was a fire downtown. What if Becky had been there?"

"Neeeiinnnn! NNNNneeeiiinnnn! That would be such a tragedy! Until you become a parent......" Klaus went on.

"We know!" Stan and Francine both stated at Klaus. Francine goes onto say, "We certainly don't need any preachy lectures from you, either!" "Now shut the hell up about Becky!" Stan demanded. Klaus was feeling mortified at all the things on the news that could happen to Becky. Although Klaus ignored Stan and Francine going after him.

That next morning, Stan wakes up and looks in the mirror. He finds that he had his head shaved like a mohawk. "Francine! Did you do this to my hair?" he asks. "No," Francine says as she wakes up and finds a bag on her head. "You were probably the one who thought it'd be funny to put a bag over my head!"

"I didn't do that!" Stan defends himself. "Well, if you didn't, then who did!" Francine asks ripping the bag off her head. They both hear laughter from the outside of their house. Rushing down the stairs. They see Klaus on the phone, "Hello, how is my daughter Becky doing? WHAT! What do you mean she never showed up to class!"

Roger and Becky walk into the living room and laugh. They were drunk and high. They were singing Broken by Seether.

"Because....I'm......Broken......" "When....I'!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" roared Stan charging up to Klaus. "I thought you changed her!"

"I did! What's going on?" asks Klaus in shock. "She's drunk that's what. Is this the type of girl who has her life back on track?" shouts Stan. "Before I left with Roger, I shaved your head, Stan! (hick) and put a bag over yours, blond bitch!" said Becky to Stan and Francine. "Think we got ourselves a confession here!" Stan said. "I know! Maybe she just likes me and doesn't like you!" was Klaus's best answer.

Roger stumbled up the stairs, "Gonna go sleep on this drunkness. Later bitches."

"Becky! Where you have been!" shouts Stan. "I wasn't at a Shriner's Convention, that's for sure!" Becky smirked.

"That settles it! Becky, you are no longer welcome in this house!" said Francine. "I don't care anyway! What're gonna do! Throw me out in the streets! Do it! I'd rather be there, than here!" Becky added on.

Feeling like a failure as a father, Klaus sadly dials the phone, "I'll try to see if Isabel will take her back. No use in trying to get her under control. Or be her father that matter."

"No need for that, Klaus!" said Stan.

"I went to a bar! Roger and I both got drunk and beat up people! Most fun I've ever had!" Becky said as she slurred her words.

Stan observes Becky's drunkeness and decides, "She's outta here, but first bring her mother over here....."

It was that moment Klaus has decided to cut all ties with Isabel and Becky.


A week later, The Smiths were having dinner. Klaus said, "Thank you so much for coming through for me, Stan." "You're lucky to be living with somebody with CIA Connections!" said Stan. "What did you do to Becky and Isabel?" asked Hayley curiously.

"Let's just say I had them banished, and they won't be coming back!" said Stan. "Oh Stan! This makes me love you even more!" Francine said kissing her husband. "I'm pleased that she's gone. Last thing we needed was a deliquent in this house. See enough of them at my school!" said Steve.

Klaus tells everyone, "Remind me to never hook up with any more old flames again, hey!" The Smith Family all laughs. Klaus also says, "Maybe fatherhood wasn't in the cards for me anyway." Stan tells Klaus, "Some people can handle it. Some can't." "I'm one of those who can't!" laughs Klaus. Roger runs into the kitchen, "Where's Becky!"

"Sorry, Roger. You were a bad influence on her. She went back home. I made sure of that!" Stan said proudly. Roger has a tantrum, "YOU BASTARD! YOU SON OF A BITCH! You took Becky away from me! She was my fun friend! First you take your father Jack away from me! Now Becky! I'll never forget this Stan! I'll have my revenge on you! JUST YOU WAIT!" Roger ran out of the kitchen sobbing very hard.

"If it weren't for that alien asshole......wait.....(sigh) there was nothing I could do to stop her from hanging around with Roger." Klaus said.

"Where exactly did you send her, Mr. S?" asks Jeff. "Someplace far, far away..." Stan said staring at the wall. "It's all for the best. I never wanted to have kids, anyway." said Klaus getting the last word.

A sign reads RURAL IDAHO. Isabel and Becky were in the middle of what looked like a field.

"Where are we Mom?" asked Becky.

"Hey, wait a minute! This isn't Hollywood Squares! I was promised to be in the audience!" Isabel yelled in anger.

Then some horses surround them. A man in a cowboy looking outfit comes to them both. "Howdy!"

"Who are you? A meth dealer I hope? Can you help me get my next fix?" asked Isabel.

"Sure, you came to the right place!" said the cowboy. "Do you have weed, too?" Becky asked. "Sure we have that, too! Follow me!"

The Cowboy leads Isabel and Becky into a barn. As soon as the three of them went inside. The barn door slams shut. A sign appears saying..


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