Categories > Cartoons > Family Guy
Yes! Is This About My Work!
0 reviewsInspired by the movie Cat People. Peter Griffin becomes a mad scientist who designs his own army of cat people.
0Unrated
Trigger Warning. I'm going to say this right off the bat. Graphic Scenes of dead babies being cut open and brains stuffed inside them. By the way, people get mauled and raped. One more thing, Meg abuse, too! If that bothers you, nobody is forcing you to read this. Got it?
Brian comes into Peter's and Lois's bedroom. He had a package in his hands. Bringing it to Peter, Brian asks, "Did you send away for an Ancestry DNA Kit lately?" "Yes I did!" answers Peter. "Why would you do that for?" Brian asks Peter. "I want to know for sure if I'm 100% an Irishman!" Peter said. Lois walks into the bedroom, "Did that DNA Kit come for you today?" "Right here!" Peter says showing Lois the box. "Well, open it! Everybody should know about their ethnicity!" said Lois. Peter opens the box with childlike glee. The results were inside. "What's the prognosis, Peter?" Brian asks. Looking over the report of the DNA results, Peter was quite pleased.
"Yes! I knew it!" Peter said. "Finally know you're 100% Irishman?" Lois asks. Peter was surprised at the other results. "I'm the next best thing. 95% Irish, and the other 5 percent is Polish! This changes everything!" Brian and Lois both smack their forehands. "Here he goes again!" they both say. Peter runs out of the bedroom very happy. "I'm Polish! I'm going to get in touch with my Polish roots! I want the whole world to know!"
Brian sees the same cycle continue with Peter all over again. "This all started when Peter found out about his black ancestor, Nate." Brian implied. "Yes, then when I found out I had some Jewish in me, he made us go through religious tranformation." Lois recalls. "Then it was the whole Justin disaster...." Brian remembers. "Sure got Quagmire into a lot of trouble." said Lois. Brian asked, "How far will Peter take this Polish thing?" "The world may never know." Lois said.
Whenever Peter Griffin discovers something new about himself. Brian and Lois know he takes it to all sorts of levels. Brian walks in on Peter who found him watching Pefect Strangers reruns.
"Why the hell are you watching Perfect Strangers?" asked Brian.
"I want to perfect the act of a Polish Accent! So I'm studying Brosnan Pinchot very carefully." Peter answers.
"Peter, Brosnan Pinchot was not Polish in that show." Brian exclaims.
"He talks like he's Polish that's for sure." Peter said. "In that show Balki was from a fictitious country called....." "I don't care what you have to say, Brian! Nobody can master the art of the accent better than Brosnan Pinchot! Well....maybe Mike Myers. ". Peter tells Brian.
Rolling his eyes, Brian walks away from the living room. "Enjoy your latest fucking freak kick, you dickhead! "
That afternoon, Peter goes to the grocery store. "Now that I've discovered I'm Polish, time to start eating like one!"
Looking around the Forgein Foods Section, Peter tries to look for any Polish Food. "Hmmm, Mexican, Italian, French, Chinese, Japanese, German, but no Polish!" Peter grows worried that there was no Polish food. "Oooooh! What exactly do Polish eat, anyway!" Peter said. Trying to look once more, Peter went nuclear and screams, "DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME POLISH FOOD AROUND HERE!"
Joe wheels his way to Peter, "Hey, Peter. What's the problem?" "Oh, hey Joe. I found out through a DNA test that I was Polish. So I was trying to find some Polish food." explained Peter. "Leave that to your old friend, Joe!"
"You know what Polish people eat?" asked Peter in a happy way. "Why sure. When Bonnie and I were first married, we took our honeymoon there. So let me your old friend Joe show you the ropes!" "Lovely!" Peter said smiling from ear to ear. "But just one thing." said Peter to Joe. "Okay." Joe said. "Don't call yourself old friend Joe!" Peter tells Joe to his face in a degrading manner.
Coming back from the grocery store, Peter puts a whole bunch of bags on the table. "Wow, Peter! Thanks so much for getting groceries!" Lois thanks her husband. "Not just any old groceries, Lois! I got Polish food!" laughs and giggled Peter. "I'll let you go for just this once. If you take this too far....." Lois begins to warn Peter. "Sure, I'll be happy to make dinner!" Peter responds by ignoring Lois's warning. Looking though the bags, Peter says, "We got Forszmak Lubelski, as I like to call The Big Lebowski! Then we have Knysza, Kielbaska Wedzona, and this one I'll make for Meg, Barszcz Czysty Czwerwony!" Peter added, "There's a lot of Zs in this food!"
Lois allows Peter to make dinner. Brian, Stewie, Lois, Chris, and Meg were all made individual meals. All of them pretended to like Peter's newfound Polish cooking. When Peter wasn't looking, they snuck to the backyard and threw it all up.
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When the next afternoon came, Peter decides to take his newfound Polish Heritage to the next level. "Can't wait to show all of Quahog how much of a raging Pollack I am!"
Eyeing a construction site, Peter sees some workers screw in some light bulbs. The workers had a conversation, "Remember that old joke, How Many Pollacks Does it Take To Screw In A Lightbulb!" The workers all laugh and one of them says, "That'll never fly today!" Peter runs to the construction site and screws in a lightbulb like an expert.
"Guess I proved you all wrong!" Peter told the workers. "Who the hell are you?" they asked. "Peter Griffin. I recently learned I am Polish!" The workers offer him a job, "Want to be our official light bulb screwer!" they ask him. "I accept!" Peter said.
Lois was on the phone, it was Bert his boss from Pawtucket Brewery, "What do you mean my husband hasn't been at work?" Peter waltzs through the door. Still on the phone, Lois tells Bert, "Never mind he just walked in."
"Peter! Work called and said you never showed up!" Lois confronts Peter. "That's because I have a new job!" Peter tells her. "What's this new job of yours!" asked Lois. "I am a light bulb screwer for a construction company!" answers Peter. "I suppose this has something to do with that stupid ass Polish phase of yours." Lois implied. "There's nothing stupid ass about being Polish Lois! You're racist for saying that!" Peter spat at her. "I'm giving this another hour then it's done! I cannot stand this....." Lois was cut off, Peter runs out. "You can't stop me from my fun with being Polish, Lois!" Peter shouted out.
Now headed towards the hospital. Peter goes inside and talks to all of the nurses and doctors in a Polish accent. "Polish Guy! Coming Through! Polish Coming Through!" Peter said over and over like a broken record. All the doctors and nurses looked at him like he was a lunatic. "What the fuck is wrong with that asshole?" They all murmurred. "Where the fuck did he come from! Repeating himself and acting like a total shit!" Then he walks over to one of the receptionists. The lady at the desk was on break and reading a book. Peter talks to her in a Polish accent, "Hey-lo lady!" The lady responds, "Oh hi. May I help you." "No I'm just here to hang around." Peter tells the lady. Peter glances at the book she was reading.
"Is there anything I can do for you, sir?" asked the lady at the desk. "That book is good, yeah? You read book Poland?!" asked Peter to the lady. "No it's not about Poland." Peter moans sadly. Then Peter decides to walk into hospital rooms and tells all the patients, "Polish Guy! Coming Though!" Some patients in the hospital were old people who had heart attacks and strokes the minute Peter walked into their rooms. When the lady goes out to her car later on the day, Peter jumps out of nowhere in front of her and says, "Hi-Yo! " The lady yelped. After that, Lois yanks him away like an unruly child.
"What the fuck, Lois!" Peter protested. "Peter, I have had it with this Polish shit! You're going to stop this, and go back to the way you used to be before you took that DNA test, RIGHT NOW!" Lois roars. Peter pouts, "Fine! I stopped! Are you happy now?" Lois laughs, "Oh, Peter. I can't stay mad at you. Tell you what. Why not we go home and watch an 1980s movie?" Suddenly forgetting about the whole 'Polish' stunt he pulled, Peter said, "You know I can't pass that up. Which movie would you like to see?" Peter and Lois drove home from the hospital.
In the living room, Lois looks around their DVD collection. "I was thinking we can see something bloody, violent and sexually explicit!" Lois suggests. "10 to Midnight sounds awesome!" said Peter. Lois tries to look for the 10 To Midnight DVD and sees it's missing. "I knew we have it around here somewhere......" Brian offers to look for the movie, "I can try to find it if you want to."
Going upstairs into Stewie's bedroom. Brian was appalled once he saw Stewie watching the movie Peter and Lois wanted to see.
"Holy shit! Stewie! You're watching 10 to Midnight!" Brian raised his voice.
"Yeah, I know." Stewie tells Brian.
"You're way too young to watch that movie!" Brian says.
"I'm one. So what." said Stewie.
"That movie has graphic violence and sexual situations that were even controversial for 1980's standards." said Brian.
"I can handle it." said Stewie.
"Why are you even......" Brian says.
"What am I supposed to watch? Let's Go Luna? I'm watching so I can get tips so I can be like Charles Bronson someday!" Stewie said.
Brian yanks the DVD out of the player Stewie was using. "What the hell, man! I wasn't done!"
"Peter and Lois want to see it. You won't see this film again until you're 21!" Brian replies as he walks out of Stewie's bedroom.
"Don't tell them I was watching it!" Stewie begged. As much as he had a bond with Brian, Stewie always hated how Brian acted like a tough father to him.
Brian hands the DVD to Peter and Lois. "Found it." "Thanks Brian. But Peter changed his mind." Lois said. "No thanks. I don't want to see it anymore." Peter said.
"Guess this was all for nothing." Brian said.
Peter was on the phone with Quagmire, "Hey, Quagmire. Can you come over? We need your help with what movie we want to watch."
Doorbell rings, Quagmire came over, "What can I do for you, Peter?"
He asks the pilot, "Do you have anything sexually explicit or violent? That isn't 10 To Midnight?"
"I got Sex Kittens Go To College." Quagmire said. "Or better yet, watch this one!"
Holding a DVD of the movie Cat People, Peter was astounded. "Thank you, Quagmire! We'll take it!" Peter said. "By the way, David Bowie did the music for this movie! Glad I can help! Have fun!" Quagmire said going back home.
"What do you say, Lois! Cat People?" said Peter. "Oh hell yes! Fire up the DVD!" Lois said.
Peter and Lois really enjoyed watching Cat People. "This movie was exactly what we needed!" Lois says. "Best erotic horror movie ever! Kind of makes you wish Cat People were real!" said Peter.
All day long, Peter was obsessing about Cat People and trying to find a way to make them real. "How can I make my own Cat People." Peter thinks to himself pacing back and forth. Peter decides to walk around Quahog until an idea comes to him. He passes the construction site he went to the other day, the workers ask, "Hey, lightbulb screwer! How come you didn't show up for work yesterday?" "Yes, we missed our favorite Pollock!" Ignoring them, Peter walks by and a thought bubble comes over his head. In the bubble there was a human and a cat then the human and cat come together and form as a Cat Person.
"Eureka! I got it! All I need is a laboratory!" Peter said. Running over to the Pawtucket Brewery, he observes the Delivery Room. "This will be the perfect place to have my lab to make my Cat People!" Bert walks into his office, "Oh Peter good. You showed up for work! Come on, we need you down at he factory!" Peter does what he's told and decides to wait until work gets out to exceed his plan.
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When the working day was done, Peter heads over to the local Morgue. He goes to the man at the desk, "Excuse me? Do you have any dead babies?" Peter asked the man. "Oh yes. Right this way. Why do you need to see dead babies for?" asked the man.
Faking tears, Peter cries, "I had a bunch of quadruplets and triplets that were born who all died of SIDS!" "That many babies, hey? You must be a male version of the Octomom!" joked the man, "In all seriousness, follow me!" Peter was lead into the morgue. "I'll leave you alone so you can pay your respects." said the man. Inside the morgue, Peter grabs as many dead babies as he could. "YES! JACKPOT!" Going back to Pawtucket Brewery with a box of dead babies in his hands, Peter is on the computer in BThe Delivery Room. He goes on Amazon and orders some chemisty sets, jars and formaldehyde." Sitting back in a chair, Peter says, "Now we wait!"
Two days later, Peter's orders of science things he got for his expirement had arrived. A lightning bolt flashes at a window. Peter puts on a lab coat, a white haired wig, and puts on some yellow rubber gloves. Peter begins to crack up like an insane fashion.
Realizing he forgot something, Peter says, "SHIT! I need more baby bodies and cat brains!" Instead of ordering what he needed Peter calls a UPS delivery man and calls in a favor. "Hello, I need you go to a morgue in Providence and then go in the back of a Vet's office to get me some cat brains!" The UPS Man over the phone asks, "Why do you need that stuff?" Screaming into the phone receiver Peter screams, "I don't pay to do do nothing! JUST DO IT!!!!!"
Peter begins to put the baby bodies he already had on a desk to use as a operating table. Feeling impatient and excited to begin his work. "Here I go again! I sympathize with The Kinks! So Tired! Tired of Waiting!"
The UPS Man comes to the door of the Delivery Room and Peter answers. "Here's that stuff you wanted, sir." "Thank you." Peter said taking the box full of dead babies and cat brains. Using a knife, Peter cuts open the top of the baby's head and takes out it's brain. Peter didn't like how blood spilled whenever he cut into the dead baby. "AAAHH! Why do dead babies have so much blood!"
Peter then replaces the baby's brain with one of the cat brains. Working all night into the morning, Peter does the same with more dead babies by stuffing cat brains into their skulls. Deciding he wanted more Peter calls the UPS man again. "Yes, it's me again. This time go to Newport. Get me some more baby bodies and cat brains!" Looking up at the ceiling Peter evilly cackles. The dead babies he was done putting cat brains in were being put into formaldhyde.
Pawtucket Brewery was open for work. Bert walked into the Delivery Room and was not prepared to see what a horror show was taking place inside his office!
Bert asks, "Peter?"
Peter answers, "YYYYYEEESSSSS? This is about my wwwwooooorrrrrrkkkkkkk?"
The UPS Man enters, "Hi, I have a styrofoam cooler with weird tape on it!"
"Ahh! That must be the cat brains and baby bodies!" Peter said wringing his hands.
Bert asked, "Are you making...people!"
"They'll be flattered you called them that!" Ha! Ha! hahahahahahahahahaaaaa!" Peter laughs.
Bert runs away scared. Peter takes the box and pays the UPS man as he departs. Peter then begins to put in more cat brains inside baby bodies.
Peter was finally done. "Just need something to make these babies grow!" Taking off his mad scientist clothes. Peter heads over to the Home Depot and gets some plant grower. Then goes back to Pawtucket Brewery and puts all the jars of baby bodies with cat brains inside and loads it all in his car. Driving home, Peter goes to the backyard and puts some Scott's All Purpose Flower and Vegatable Food on one of the jars with the baby bodies inside.
"NOW! To bring life to my creation!" Peter yelled as he sprinkled some of the plant food on one of the baby bodies.
The baby body responded to the plant food and grew into a little baby panther like creature. Peter cheers like hell won't have it!
Peter is then seen standing on a cliff and picks up the baby panther he created and Circle of Life scene from the Lion King is parodied. As jungle animals surrounded seeing the baby panther.
Back in his backyard. In a rainstorm with thunder all around. Peter uses more plant food on the baby bodies and they grew into full grown panthers with help from the rain that were all black like the ones in the movie. "I DID IT! I DID IT! I have my very own Cat People now!" Peter screamed into the rain.
"Arise my Cat People! Arise!" The Panthers Peter created all lined up before him.
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In the morning, Peter's 'Cat People' panthers were all guarding the Griffin house. Brian tried to go outside, but the panthers wouldn't let him out. Brian confronts Peter, "Why are there a bunch of panthers around our house?"
Peter explained, "When Lois and I watched Cat People it inspired me to make my own!"
"What is the purpose of this?" said Brian.
"To protect our home from intruders! I mean, who needs an expensive security system when you can have panthers!" Peter replied.
Brian says, "I'm out! I'm not even going to bother with this!"
Lois tries to get inside the house, the panthers stop her. "Who goes there!"
"What in the world! I live here!" Lois yelled at the panthers.
"Okay, you seem permissible. You may pass." the panther tells Lois.
Rushing inside the house. Scared out of her wits. Lois demands, "PETER! Why are there panthers at our home? Did you rob a zoo or something!"
"I made my own Cat People! They're of no threat to us." Peter tells his wife.
"Sure seems like they're a threat!" Lois spits out. "I want those panthers back where they came from now!"
"No can do, Lois! They're here to stay." said Peter.
"How did you 'make' them?" Lois asks.
"Sheesh, that's the $64,000 Question is it? All right. I made them from scratch! Let's just leave it at that." Peter said not wanting Lois to know he did some science things to make them. He knew Lois wouldn't buy it no matter how much he tries to explain how the 'Cat People' came to be.
Lois stammers as she didn't know what to say.
"They won't hurt us. These Cat People are our friends! Not like the ones we saw in the movie." Peter informs Lois.
"You're an enigma, Peter!" Lois tells him, Peter says, "They're protecting us from harm and danger." said Peter.
"Fine. Have your little fun with this. But keep me out of it!" said Lois walking out of the living room. A scream is heard outside. "Yes! My first intruder!" Peter said rushing to look out the window.
The 'Cat People' panthers were running around chasing Meg. The panthers beat her until Meg is knocked into a coma.
Peter watched as the panthers went back to guarding the Griffin Family home. "Think I'm going to really really like these panthers!"
When the week goes on as so, The Cat People guarded Peter's house. His friends Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were allowed in. However, some robbers who wanted to break in one night didn't notice the Cat People AKA Panthers.
The robbers ran at the house only to be stopped by the Cat People. "STOP! State your business!" said one Cat Person.
"We're robbers asshole!" "Yeah, we wanna break into that house and steal!"
"Not a chance!" The Cat People formed a circle around the robbers. "You'll have to get past us if you want to go inside this house!" The Cat People tells the robbers.
"OKay, this'll be easy!" "We're not afraid of a bunch of loser asshole panthers, are we"! the robbers say trying to ward off the Cat People. The robbers were soon meet with the tight grip of the Cat People.
"Oh, yeah," the Cat People say, "We Cat People, we're not panthers, by the way have great primal ability to fuck you up the ass!"
The robbers soon get raped by the Cat People. "All right! Okay! We'll leave! We give up!" pleaded the robbers. "Oh, we're not done with you yet! Now we're gonna open your bellies!" The Cat People said readying their claws to rip into the robbers.
The Cat People stood over the now dead and mangled robbers. "What'll we do now?" asked one of the Cat People. "We can eat them!" "That's cool. I can use a bite to eat!" "Okay then!" The Cat People spent the night eating the remains of the robbers.
Peter Griffin wakes up in the morning to go check on the Cat People. Going to be front lawn, Peter sees them.
"We killed some would-be robbers last night." The Cat People tell Peter. "Wow! Holy Freaking Awesome! Glad to have you guys here with us!" Peter tells them.
"Yeah, but...do we get paid or get something in return in exchange for all this work we do for you?" asked the Cat People.
Peter tries to point out, "Well.....I don't get my paycheck until the end of the month so....."
"So? Well? You gonna pay us to do this job or what!" the Cat People begin to grow piqued.
Peter shudders, "You guys all sound like the Mafia! You're supposed to be on my side. Tell you what, I'll try to get some money out of the bank and......."
"When! When are we going to get the money, Mr. Griffin!" The Cat People ask.
"Uhhhh, two weeks?" Peter guesses.
"WHY NOT NOW!" The Cat People yell.
"I'll see what I can come up with!" Peter said now feeling unsteady.
Scrounching through his wallet, Peter tries to find some money. "What's going on, Peter?" asks Lois. "Those Cat People want me to pay them!" Peter said. Only coming up with five dollars, Peter runs out and gives it to the Cat People.
"You made us wait in this heat!" "What took you so long!" says the Cat People to Peter.
"This is all I have on me. Sorry." Peter says handing all his dollars.
"We worked all day to guard your house and we only get five bucks!" The Cat People say. "Come on! We don't need this assfuck! Let's get outta here!" "Let's find someone who will pay us!" One by one The Cat People run out of Peter's lawn and into the town.
Lois comes up to Peter, "Hmmmm. You weren't really very good to them were you?" "What! Woah! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know they thought they were working for money." Peter says with reason.
"Anyone who works for you, ends up working for peanuts!" Lois chided.
"Is there any way you can help me get them back so I can convince my Cat People to stay?" said Peter.
"I said this once, and I'll say it again. Keep....me.....out.....OF IT!!" Lois berates.
"Please! Please! I'll never go into any more of these so-called 'phases' ever again! No more Polish Guy, Justin, K-Pop, buying helicopters shaped like me, or anything like that from now on! I promise! Scouts Honor!" Peter begs.
"You want those Cat People back, get them yourself! End of discussion!" Lois stomps off.
Peter tsks, rolls his eyes, and sighs. Sitting on his porch, he says to himself, "One of the many downsides to being a mad scientist. You creation turns on you!"
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Lois was making dinner in the kitchen. Peter sat at the table. Brian and Stewie were there. Not Chris and Meg. Chris was in the living room watching TV and he comes running in screaming like a Banshee.
"DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD!"
"What is it, Chris! Why do you sound like those natives in McHale's Navy Joins The Air Force?" Peter asked.
"Just heard on the news about some cat-like thingies destroying statues! Come quick!" Chris screeched.
Each one of them ran into the living room to watch the news report.
"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker." "And I'm Joyce Kinney!"
"Today's top story. Some panther like creatures are running around Quahog starting a revolt against humans!" Tom Tucker reports.
Joyce Kinney reports, "That's right. It appears to be an outrage about how humans don't pay them for work. So it seems."
"We now go live to our Asian Correspondent Tricia Takanawa who's in Quahog Circle, Tricia?" Tom Tucker says.
"Tom, I'm standing here in the middle of Quahog Circle. All these panther creatures are tearing down statues of humans." reported Tricia. "They look to be from a movie called Cat People, in which David Bowie had done the soundtrack for. Tom?"
While Tricia was reporting, The Cat People shout, "WE HATE HUMANS!" "HUMANS EXPLOIT US!" "WE NEVER GET PAID WHEN WE WORK!" "HUMANS ARE SCUM!" "HUMANS MUST BE ELIMIATED!" "FUCK THE HUMANS!" "HUMANS ARE SHIT!"
One of the Cat People comes to the screen, "Let's make our own wet market so we can sell human meat!"
"Thank you Tricia. Stay tuned for more further developments on these Panthers." Tom Tucker says. Chris was shocked, "Do you know anything about those panthers Dad?"
Peter is filled with regret, "Yes I do, son. I never should've made those things. I thought it would be cool to have Cat People."
Lois said, "I know! This is so terrible! Would somebody please stop this!"
Peter said, "I feel like that Senza Momma Guy in The Godfather Two! You guys must really hate me. I'll understand if you want a divorce, Lois."
Brian stated, "You know I think I know a way to get rid of these panthers."
"How you are going to do pull that one off, Brian?" asked Chris.
Running upstairs with Stewie, "I think I bought some Catnip once I hid it in Stewie's room."
Peter makes a promise, "After this is over I am never going to go on these impulsive escapades ever again."
"Oh Peter. You couldn't predict the outcome of all this. No need to worry about a divorce, either. That'll never happen." Lois assured her husband.
"Thanks for that, Lois. You are legal guardian after all." Peter said about to cry.
In Stewie's bedroom, Brian asks, "Stewie. Is there any way we can get rid of these Cat People?"
"I expected this from you. Whenever Peter gets the town or the family in a chaotic situation you expect to me the one to get us out of it!" Stewie spouts.
"Just wondering if you have some more of invention. No need to bite my head off. Peter is the one who started this shit. Not me!" Brian said.
"Okay. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to go off on you when I was really mad at the Fatman." Stewie said scrummaging though his weapons room. "That's okay, Stewie. At times like this, I wish I could kick Peter's ass." Brian understood. Stewie finally finds something, "A-HA! This is it! I finally found it!"
"What did you find?" asked Brian.
"TA DA! It's a weather control device. That one I used to stop broccoli from growing. Good thing I kept it. I'll reprogram it to emit a tidal wave that'll wash all those Cat People away!" Stewie said.
"Considering cats don't like water! That's a genius idea, Stewie!" Brian complemented.
Stewie programs his old weather control device and hooks it up to his laptop. Stewie types in, TIDAL WAVE. The weather control pulsates and sends a signal to reach the reach the beaches of Quahog. "WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM" goes the machine as some circles come out of it.
In Quahog Circle, the Cat People were still causing demolition to the statues. In less than 3 seconds, a tidal wave from Quahog Beach comes it reaches to the sky. The Cat People soon take notice. "IS THAT WATER!" "HOLY SHIT! IT IS!" "HOLY FUCK! I'M GETTING THIS SHIT OUTTA HERE!", and then the wave falls on the Cat People causing them all to get washed away until they died. "I HATE WATER!"
The town of Quahog was now flooded, although the Cat People were now all gone. Brian and Stewie high five, "That was amazing, Stewie!"
"Who says you can't teach an old weather device new tricks, hey, Brian!" Stewie said happily.
"This was like a real life Poseidan Adventure! Let's go tell Peter and Lois the good news!" Brian said.
Lois and Peter were looking out the front door at the flood the tidal wave caused. "Wonder what happened?" asked Lois. "Guess maybe it was just a force of nature!" said Brian. Meg was being swept away in the tidal wave along with the now dead Cat People until she crashed into a tree which now she was stuck on like gum to a desk.
"Anything to get rid of those Cat People." Peter said still feeling bad about what he had started.
"Is there any way I can make you feel better about this?" asked Lois. "As Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets, You Make Me Want to Be a Better Man!" Peter said.
"If you really do want to better yourself, I'm up for that." said Lois.
Peter looks at the sky, "From here on out, I Peter Griffin will never have spontaneous phases ever again."
"That's a first step toward being a better person. Admitting what you did was stupid then wanting to be better. I'm proud of you, Peter." Brian said.
"Yeah, for how long, three days?" Stewie questioned his father's antics.
Lois said, "Even though our town is flooded for a while. How about we all watch whatever is on Disney Plus?"
"I like that very much." Peter said.
Peter Griffin will now keep his word of honor not to do anymore silly and destructive phases and schemes that give him, his family, and the whole town into an uncontrollable predicament.
Or will he?
The next day, Peter is then shown on a motor boat in a costume like Don Johnson's character Sonny from Miami Vice. Riding in the now flooded waters of Quahog. Brian was along for the ride. Who was dressed as Tubbs.
"PETER! I thought you said you were done with being an asshole!" Brian shouted over the noise of the motor boat.
"I LIED!" Peter screamed.
The Miami Vice theme plays as Peter and Brian rode on the motor boat all around the flooded waters of Quahog.
Stewie watched the whole thing from his bedroom from a telescope. "I KNEW IT!"
Brian comes into Peter's and Lois's bedroom. He had a package in his hands. Bringing it to Peter, Brian asks, "Did you send away for an Ancestry DNA Kit lately?" "Yes I did!" answers Peter. "Why would you do that for?" Brian asks Peter. "I want to know for sure if I'm 100% an Irishman!" Peter said. Lois walks into the bedroom, "Did that DNA Kit come for you today?" "Right here!" Peter says showing Lois the box. "Well, open it! Everybody should know about their ethnicity!" said Lois. Peter opens the box with childlike glee. The results were inside. "What's the prognosis, Peter?" Brian asks. Looking over the report of the DNA results, Peter was quite pleased.
"Yes! I knew it!" Peter said. "Finally know you're 100% Irishman?" Lois asks. Peter was surprised at the other results. "I'm the next best thing. 95% Irish, and the other 5 percent is Polish! This changes everything!" Brian and Lois both smack their forehands. "Here he goes again!" they both say. Peter runs out of the bedroom very happy. "I'm Polish! I'm going to get in touch with my Polish roots! I want the whole world to know!"
Brian sees the same cycle continue with Peter all over again. "This all started when Peter found out about his black ancestor, Nate." Brian implied. "Yes, then when I found out I had some Jewish in me, he made us go through religious tranformation." Lois recalls. "Then it was the whole Justin disaster...." Brian remembers. "Sure got Quagmire into a lot of trouble." said Lois. Brian asked, "How far will Peter take this Polish thing?" "The world may never know." Lois said.
Whenever Peter Griffin discovers something new about himself. Brian and Lois know he takes it to all sorts of levels. Brian walks in on Peter who found him watching Pefect Strangers reruns.
"Why the hell are you watching Perfect Strangers?" asked Brian.
"I want to perfect the act of a Polish Accent! So I'm studying Brosnan Pinchot very carefully." Peter answers.
"Peter, Brosnan Pinchot was not Polish in that show." Brian exclaims.
"He talks like he's Polish that's for sure." Peter said. "In that show Balki was from a fictitious country called....." "I don't care what you have to say, Brian! Nobody can master the art of the accent better than Brosnan Pinchot! Well....maybe Mike Myers. ". Peter tells Brian.
Rolling his eyes, Brian walks away from the living room. "Enjoy your latest fucking freak kick, you dickhead! "
That afternoon, Peter goes to the grocery store. "Now that I've discovered I'm Polish, time to start eating like one!"
Looking around the Forgein Foods Section, Peter tries to look for any Polish Food. "Hmmm, Mexican, Italian, French, Chinese, Japanese, German, but no Polish!" Peter grows worried that there was no Polish food. "Oooooh! What exactly do Polish eat, anyway!" Peter said. Trying to look once more, Peter went nuclear and screams, "DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME POLISH FOOD AROUND HERE!"
Joe wheels his way to Peter, "Hey, Peter. What's the problem?" "Oh, hey Joe. I found out through a DNA test that I was Polish. So I was trying to find some Polish food." explained Peter. "Leave that to your old friend, Joe!"
"You know what Polish people eat?" asked Peter in a happy way. "Why sure. When Bonnie and I were first married, we took our honeymoon there. So let me your old friend Joe show you the ropes!" "Lovely!" Peter said smiling from ear to ear. "But just one thing." said Peter to Joe. "Okay." Joe said. "Don't call yourself old friend Joe!" Peter tells Joe to his face in a degrading manner.
Coming back from the grocery store, Peter puts a whole bunch of bags on the table. "Wow, Peter! Thanks so much for getting groceries!" Lois thanks her husband. "Not just any old groceries, Lois! I got Polish food!" laughs and giggled Peter. "I'll let you go for just this once. If you take this too far....." Lois begins to warn Peter. "Sure, I'll be happy to make dinner!" Peter responds by ignoring Lois's warning. Looking though the bags, Peter says, "We got Forszmak Lubelski, as I like to call The Big Lebowski! Then we have Knysza, Kielbaska Wedzona, and this one I'll make for Meg, Barszcz Czysty Czwerwony!" Peter added, "There's a lot of Zs in this food!"
Lois allows Peter to make dinner. Brian, Stewie, Lois, Chris, and Meg were all made individual meals. All of them pretended to like Peter's newfound Polish cooking. When Peter wasn't looking, they snuck to the backyard and threw it all up.
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When the next afternoon came, Peter decides to take his newfound Polish Heritage to the next level. "Can't wait to show all of Quahog how much of a raging Pollack I am!"
Eyeing a construction site, Peter sees some workers screw in some light bulbs. The workers had a conversation, "Remember that old joke, How Many Pollacks Does it Take To Screw In A Lightbulb!" The workers all laugh and one of them says, "That'll never fly today!" Peter runs to the construction site and screws in a lightbulb like an expert.
"Guess I proved you all wrong!" Peter told the workers. "Who the hell are you?" they asked. "Peter Griffin. I recently learned I am Polish!" The workers offer him a job, "Want to be our official light bulb screwer!" they ask him. "I accept!" Peter said.
Lois was on the phone, it was Bert his boss from Pawtucket Brewery, "What do you mean my husband hasn't been at work?" Peter waltzs through the door. Still on the phone, Lois tells Bert, "Never mind he just walked in."
"Peter! Work called and said you never showed up!" Lois confronts Peter. "That's because I have a new job!" Peter tells her. "What's this new job of yours!" asked Lois. "I am a light bulb screwer for a construction company!" answers Peter. "I suppose this has something to do with that stupid ass Polish phase of yours." Lois implied. "There's nothing stupid ass about being Polish Lois! You're racist for saying that!" Peter spat at her. "I'm giving this another hour then it's done! I cannot stand this....." Lois was cut off, Peter runs out. "You can't stop me from my fun with being Polish, Lois!" Peter shouted out.
Now headed towards the hospital. Peter goes inside and talks to all of the nurses and doctors in a Polish accent. "Polish Guy! Coming Through! Polish Coming Through!" Peter said over and over like a broken record. All the doctors and nurses looked at him like he was a lunatic. "What the fuck is wrong with that asshole?" They all murmurred. "Where the fuck did he come from! Repeating himself and acting like a total shit!" Then he walks over to one of the receptionists. The lady at the desk was on break and reading a book. Peter talks to her in a Polish accent, "Hey-lo lady!" The lady responds, "Oh hi. May I help you." "No I'm just here to hang around." Peter tells the lady. Peter glances at the book she was reading.
"Is there anything I can do for you, sir?" asked the lady at the desk. "That book is good, yeah? You read book Poland?!" asked Peter to the lady. "No it's not about Poland." Peter moans sadly. Then Peter decides to walk into hospital rooms and tells all the patients, "Polish Guy! Coming Though!" Some patients in the hospital were old people who had heart attacks and strokes the minute Peter walked into their rooms. When the lady goes out to her car later on the day, Peter jumps out of nowhere in front of her and says, "Hi-Yo! " The lady yelped. After that, Lois yanks him away like an unruly child.
"What the fuck, Lois!" Peter protested. "Peter, I have had it with this Polish shit! You're going to stop this, and go back to the way you used to be before you took that DNA test, RIGHT NOW!" Lois roars. Peter pouts, "Fine! I stopped! Are you happy now?" Lois laughs, "Oh, Peter. I can't stay mad at you. Tell you what. Why not we go home and watch an 1980s movie?" Suddenly forgetting about the whole 'Polish' stunt he pulled, Peter said, "You know I can't pass that up. Which movie would you like to see?" Peter and Lois drove home from the hospital.
In the living room, Lois looks around their DVD collection. "I was thinking we can see something bloody, violent and sexually explicit!" Lois suggests. "10 to Midnight sounds awesome!" said Peter. Lois tries to look for the 10 To Midnight DVD and sees it's missing. "I knew we have it around here somewhere......" Brian offers to look for the movie, "I can try to find it if you want to."
Going upstairs into Stewie's bedroom. Brian was appalled once he saw Stewie watching the movie Peter and Lois wanted to see.
"Holy shit! Stewie! You're watching 10 to Midnight!" Brian raised his voice.
"Yeah, I know." Stewie tells Brian.
"You're way too young to watch that movie!" Brian says.
"I'm one. So what." said Stewie.
"That movie has graphic violence and sexual situations that were even controversial for 1980's standards." said Brian.
"I can handle it." said Stewie.
"Why are you even......" Brian says.
"What am I supposed to watch? Let's Go Luna? I'm watching so I can get tips so I can be like Charles Bronson someday!" Stewie said.
Brian yanks the DVD out of the player Stewie was using. "What the hell, man! I wasn't done!"
"Peter and Lois want to see it. You won't see this film again until you're 21!" Brian replies as he walks out of Stewie's bedroom.
"Don't tell them I was watching it!" Stewie begged. As much as he had a bond with Brian, Stewie always hated how Brian acted like a tough father to him.
Brian hands the DVD to Peter and Lois. "Found it." "Thanks Brian. But Peter changed his mind." Lois said. "No thanks. I don't want to see it anymore." Peter said.
"Guess this was all for nothing." Brian said.
Peter was on the phone with Quagmire, "Hey, Quagmire. Can you come over? We need your help with what movie we want to watch."
Doorbell rings, Quagmire came over, "What can I do for you, Peter?"
He asks the pilot, "Do you have anything sexually explicit or violent? That isn't 10 To Midnight?"
"I got Sex Kittens Go To College." Quagmire said. "Or better yet, watch this one!"
Holding a DVD of the movie Cat People, Peter was astounded. "Thank you, Quagmire! We'll take it!" Peter said. "By the way, David Bowie did the music for this movie! Glad I can help! Have fun!" Quagmire said going back home.
"What do you say, Lois! Cat People?" said Peter. "Oh hell yes! Fire up the DVD!" Lois said.
Peter and Lois really enjoyed watching Cat People. "This movie was exactly what we needed!" Lois says. "Best erotic horror movie ever! Kind of makes you wish Cat People were real!" said Peter.
All day long, Peter was obsessing about Cat People and trying to find a way to make them real. "How can I make my own Cat People." Peter thinks to himself pacing back and forth. Peter decides to walk around Quahog until an idea comes to him. He passes the construction site he went to the other day, the workers ask, "Hey, lightbulb screwer! How come you didn't show up for work yesterday?" "Yes, we missed our favorite Pollock!" Ignoring them, Peter walks by and a thought bubble comes over his head. In the bubble there was a human and a cat then the human and cat come together and form as a Cat Person.
"Eureka! I got it! All I need is a laboratory!" Peter said. Running over to the Pawtucket Brewery, he observes the Delivery Room. "This will be the perfect place to have my lab to make my Cat People!" Bert walks into his office, "Oh Peter good. You showed up for work! Come on, we need you down at he factory!" Peter does what he's told and decides to wait until work gets out to exceed his plan.
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When the working day was done, Peter heads over to the local Morgue. He goes to the man at the desk, "Excuse me? Do you have any dead babies?" Peter asked the man. "Oh yes. Right this way. Why do you need to see dead babies for?" asked the man.
Faking tears, Peter cries, "I had a bunch of quadruplets and triplets that were born who all died of SIDS!" "That many babies, hey? You must be a male version of the Octomom!" joked the man, "In all seriousness, follow me!" Peter was lead into the morgue. "I'll leave you alone so you can pay your respects." said the man. Inside the morgue, Peter grabs as many dead babies as he could. "YES! JACKPOT!" Going back to Pawtucket Brewery with a box of dead babies in his hands, Peter is on the computer in BThe Delivery Room. He goes on Amazon and orders some chemisty sets, jars and formaldehyde." Sitting back in a chair, Peter says, "Now we wait!"
Two days later, Peter's orders of science things he got for his expirement had arrived. A lightning bolt flashes at a window. Peter puts on a lab coat, a white haired wig, and puts on some yellow rubber gloves. Peter begins to crack up like an insane fashion.
Realizing he forgot something, Peter says, "SHIT! I need more baby bodies and cat brains!" Instead of ordering what he needed Peter calls a UPS delivery man and calls in a favor. "Hello, I need you go to a morgue in Providence and then go in the back of a Vet's office to get me some cat brains!" The UPS Man over the phone asks, "Why do you need that stuff?" Screaming into the phone receiver Peter screams, "I don't pay to do do nothing! JUST DO IT!!!!!"
Peter begins to put the baby bodies he already had on a desk to use as a operating table. Feeling impatient and excited to begin his work. "Here I go again! I sympathize with The Kinks! So Tired! Tired of Waiting!"
The UPS Man comes to the door of the Delivery Room and Peter answers. "Here's that stuff you wanted, sir." "Thank you." Peter said taking the box full of dead babies and cat brains. Using a knife, Peter cuts open the top of the baby's head and takes out it's brain. Peter didn't like how blood spilled whenever he cut into the dead baby. "AAAHH! Why do dead babies have so much blood!"
Peter then replaces the baby's brain with one of the cat brains. Working all night into the morning, Peter does the same with more dead babies by stuffing cat brains into their skulls. Deciding he wanted more Peter calls the UPS man again. "Yes, it's me again. This time go to Newport. Get me some more baby bodies and cat brains!" Looking up at the ceiling Peter evilly cackles. The dead babies he was done putting cat brains in were being put into formaldhyde.
Pawtucket Brewery was open for work. Bert walked into the Delivery Room and was not prepared to see what a horror show was taking place inside his office!
Bert asks, "Peter?"
Peter answers, "YYYYYEEESSSSS? This is about my wwwwooooorrrrrrkkkkkkk?"
The UPS Man enters, "Hi, I have a styrofoam cooler with weird tape on it!"
"Ahh! That must be the cat brains and baby bodies!" Peter said wringing his hands.
Bert asked, "Are you making...people!"
"They'll be flattered you called them that!" Ha! Ha! hahahahahahahahahaaaaa!" Peter laughs.
Bert runs away scared. Peter takes the box and pays the UPS man as he departs. Peter then begins to put in more cat brains inside baby bodies.
Peter was finally done. "Just need something to make these babies grow!" Taking off his mad scientist clothes. Peter heads over to the Home Depot and gets some plant grower. Then goes back to Pawtucket Brewery and puts all the jars of baby bodies with cat brains inside and loads it all in his car. Driving home, Peter goes to the backyard and puts some Scott's All Purpose Flower and Vegatable Food on one of the jars with the baby bodies inside.
"NOW! To bring life to my creation!" Peter yelled as he sprinkled some of the plant food on one of the baby bodies.
The baby body responded to the plant food and grew into a little baby panther like creature. Peter cheers like hell won't have it!
Peter is then seen standing on a cliff and picks up the baby panther he created and Circle of Life scene from the Lion King is parodied. As jungle animals surrounded seeing the baby panther.
Back in his backyard. In a rainstorm with thunder all around. Peter uses more plant food on the baby bodies and they grew into full grown panthers with help from the rain that were all black like the ones in the movie. "I DID IT! I DID IT! I have my very own Cat People now!" Peter screamed into the rain.
"Arise my Cat People! Arise!" The Panthers Peter created all lined up before him.
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In the morning, Peter's 'Cat People' panthers were all guarding the Griffin house. Brian tried to go outside, but the panthers wouldn't let him out. Brian confronts Peter, "Why are there a bunch of panthers around our house?"
Peter explained, "When Lois and I watched Cat People it inspired me to make my own!"
"What is the purpose of this?" said Brian.
"To protect our home from intruders! I mean, who needs an expensive security system when you can have panthers!" Peter replied.
Brian says, "I'm out! I'm not even going to bother with this!"
Lois tries to get inside the house, the panthers stop her. "Who goes there!"
"What in the world! I live here!" Lois yelled at the panthers.
"Okay, you seem permissible. You may pass." the panther tells Lois.
Rushing inside the house. Scared out of her wits. Lois demands, "PETER! Why are there panthers at our home? Did you rob a zoo or something!"
"I made my own Cat People! They're of no threat to us." Peter tells his wife.
"Sure seems like they're a threat!" Lois spits out. "I want those panthers back where they came from now!"
"No can do, Lois! They're here to stay." said Peter.
"How did you 'make' them?" Lois asks.
"Sheesh, that's the $64,000 Question is it? All right. I made them from scratch! Let's just leave it at that." Peter said not wanting Lois to know he did some science things to make them. He knew Lois wouldn't buy it no matter how much he tries to explain how the 'Cat People' came to be.
Lois stammers as she didn't know what to say.
"They won't hurt us. These Cat People are our friends! Not like the ones we saw in the movie." Peter informs Lois.
"You're an enigma, Peter!" Lois tells him, Peter says, "They're protecting us from harm and danger." said Peter.
"Fine. Have your little fun with this. But keep me out of it!" said Lois walking out of the living room. A scream is heard outside. "Yes! My first intruder!" Peter said rushing to look out the window.
The 'Cat People' panthers were running around chasing Meg. The panthers beat her until Meg is knocked into a coma.
Peter watched as the panthers went back to guarding the Griffin Family home. "Think I'm going to really really like these panthers!"
When the week goes on as so, The Cat People guarded Peter's house. His friends Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were allowed in. However, some robbers who wanted to break in one night didn't notice the Cat People AKA Panthers.
The robbers ran at the house only to be stopped by the Cat People. "STOP! State your business!" said one Cat Person.
"We're robbers asshole!" "Yeah, we wanna break into that house and steal!"
"Not a chance!" The Cat People formed a circle around the robbers. "You'll have to get past us if you want to go inside this house!" The Cat People tells the robbers.
"OKay, this'll be easy!" "We're not afraid of a bunch of loser asshole panthers, are we"! the robbers say trying to ward off the Cat People. The robbers were soon meet with the tight grip of the Cat People.
"Oh, yeah," the Cat People say, "We Cat People, we're not panthers, by the way have great primal ability to fuck you up the ass!"
The robbers soon get raped by the Cat People. "All right! Okay! We'll leave! We give up!" pleaded the robbers. "Oh, we're not done with you yet! Now we're gonna open your bellies!" The Cat People said readying their claws to rip into the robbers.
The Cat People stood over the now dead and mangled robbers. "What'll we do now?" asked one of the Cat People. "We can eat them!" "That's cool. I can use a bite to eat!" "Okay then!" The Cat People spent the night eating the remains of the robbers.
Peter Griffin wakes up in the morning to go check on the Cat People. Going to be front lawn, Peter sees them.
"We killed some would-be robbers last night." The Cat People tell Peter. "Wow! Holy Freaking Awesome! Glad to have you guys here with us!" Peter tells them.
"Yeah, but...do we get paid or get something in return in exchange for all this work we do for you?" asked the Cat People.
Peter tries to point out, "Well.....I don't get my paycheck until the end of the month so....."
"So? Well? You gonna pay us to do this job or what!" the Cat People begin to grow piqued.
Peter shudders, "You guys all sound like the Mafia! You're supposed to be on my side. Tell you what, I'll try to get some money out of the bank and......."
"When! When are we going to get the money, Mr. Griffin!" The Cat People ask.
"Uhhhh, two weeks?" Peter guesses.
"WHY NOT NOW!" The Cat People yell.
"I'll see what I can come up with!" Peter said now feeling unsteady.
Scrounching through his wallet, Peter tries to find some money. "What's going on, Peter?" asks Lois. "Those Cat People want me to pay them!" Peter said. Only coming up with five dollars, Peter runs out and gives it to the Cat People.
"You made us wait in this heat!" "What took you so long!" says the Cat People to Peter.
"This is all I have on me. Sorry." Peter says handing all his dollars.
"We worked all day to guard your house and we only get five bucks!" The Cat People say. "Come on! We don't need this assfuck! Let's get outta here!" "Let's find someone who will pay us!" One by one The Cat People run out of Peter's lawn and into the town.
Lois comes up to Peter, "Hmmmm. You weren't really very good to them were you?" "What! Woah! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know they thought they were working for money." Peter says with reason.
"Anyone who works for you, ends up working for peanuts!" Lois chided.
"Is there any way you can help me get them back so I can convince my Cat People to stay?" said Peter.
"I said this once, and I'll say it again. Keep....me.....out.....OF IT!!" Lois berates.
"Please! Please! I'll never go into any more of these so-called 'phases' ever again! No more Polish Guy, Justin, K-Pop, buying helicopters shaped like me, or anything like that from now on! I promise! Scouts Honor!" Peter begs.
"You want those Cat People back, get them yourself! End of discussion!" Lois stomps off.
Peter tsks, rolls his eyes, and sighs. Sitting on his porch, he says to himself, "One of the many downsides to being a mad scientist. You creation turns on you!"
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Lois was making dinner in the kitchen. Peter sat at the table. Brian and Stewie were there. Not Chris and Meg. Chris was in the living room watching TV and he comes running in screaming like a Banshee.
"DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD!"
"What is it, Chris! Why do you sound like those natives in McHale's Navy Joins The Air Force?" Peter asked.
"Just heard on the news about some cat-like thingies destroying statues! Come quick!" Chris screeched.
Each one of them ran into the living room to watch the news report.
"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker." "And I'm Joyce Kinney!"
"Today's top story. Some panther like creatures are running around Quahog starting a revolt against humans!" Tom Tucker reports.
Joyce Kinney reports, "That's right. It appears to be an outrage about how humans don't pay them for work. So it seems."
"We now go live to our Asian Correspondent Tricia Takanawa who's in Quahog Circle, Tricia?" Tom Tucker says.
"Tom, I'm standing here in the middle of Quahog Circle. All these panther creatures are tearing down statues of humans." reported Tricia. "They look to be from a movie called Cat People, in which David Bowie had done the soundtrack for. Tom?"
While Tricia was reporting, The Cat People shout, "WE HATE HUMANS!" "HUMANS EXPLOIT US!" "WE NEVER GET PAID WHEN WE WORK!" "HUMANS ARE SCUM!" "HUMANS MUST BE ELIMIATED!" "FUCK THE HUMANS!" "HUMANS ARE SHIT!"
One of the Cat People comes to the screen, "Let's make our own wet market so we can sell human meat!"
"Thank you Tricia. Stay tuned for more further developments on these Panthers." Tom Tucker says. Chris was shocked, "Do you know anything about those panthers Dad?"
Peter is filled with regret, "Yes I do, son. I never should've made those things. I thought it would be cool to have Cat People."
Lois said, "I know! This is so terrible! Would somebody please stop this!"
Peter said, "I feel like that Senza Momma Guy in The Godfather Two! You guys must really hate me. I'll understand if you want a divorce, Lois."
Brian stated, "You know I think I know a way to get rid of these panthers."
"How you are going to do pull that one off, Brian?" asked Chris.
Running upstairs with Stewie, "I think I bought some Catnip once I hid it in Stewie's room."
Peter makes a promise, "After this is over I am never going to go on these impulsive escapades ever again."
"Oh Peter. You couldn't predict the outcome of all this. No need to worry about a divorce, either. That'll never happen." Lois assured her husband.
"Thanks for that, Lois. You are legal guardian after all." Peter said about to cry.
In Stewie's bedroom, Brian asks, "Stewie. Is there any way we can get rid of these Cat People?"
"I expected this from you. Whenever Peter gets the town or the family in a chaotic situation you expect to me the one to get us out of it!" Stewie spouts.
"Just wondering if you have some more of invention. No need to bite my head off. Peter is the one who started this shit. Not me!" Brian said.
"Okay. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to go off on you when I was really mad at the Fatman." Stewie said scrummaging though his weapons room. "That's okay, Stewie. At times like this, I wish I could kick Peter's ass." Brian understood. Stewie finally finds something, "A-HA! This is it! I finally found it!"
"What did you find?" asked Brian.
"TA DA! It's a weather control device. That one I used to stop broccoli from growing. Good thing I kept it. I'll reprogram it to emit a tidal wave that'll wash all those Cat People away!" Stewie said.
"Considering cats don't like water! That's a genius idea, Stewie!" Brian complemented.
Stewie programs his old weather control device and hooks it up to his laptop. Stewie types in, TIDAL WAVE. The weather control pulsates and sends a signal to reach the reach the beaches of Quahog. "WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM WOOM" goes the machine as some circles come out of it.
In Quahog Circle, the Cat People were still causing demolition to the statues. In less than 3 seconds, a tidal wave from Quahog Beach comes it reaches to the sky. The Cat People soon take notice. "IS THAT WATER!" "HOLY SHIT! IT IS!" "HOLY FUCK! I'M GETTING THIS SHIT OUTTA HERE!", and then the wave falls on the Cat People causing them all to get washed away until they died. "I HATE WATER!"
The town of Quahog was now flooded, although the Cat People were now all gone. Brian and Stewie high five, "That was amazing, Stewie!"
"Who says you can't teach an old weather device new tricks, hey, Brian!" Stewie said happily.
"This was like a real life Poseidan Adventure! Let's go tell Peter and Lois the good news!" Brian said.
Lois and Peter were looking out the front door at the flood the tidal wave caused. "Wonder what happened?" asked Lois. "Guess maybe it was just a force of nature!" said Brian. Meg was being swept away in the tidal wave along with the now dead Cat People until she crashed into a tree which now she was stuck on like gum to a desk.
"Anything to get rid of those Cat People." Peter said still feeling bad about what he had started.
"Is there any way I can make you feel better about this?" asked Lois. "As Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets, You Make Me Want to Be a Better Man!" Peter said.
"If you really do want to better yourself, I'm up for that." said Lois.
Peter looks at the sky, "From here on out, I Peter Griffin will never have spontaneous phases ever again."
"That's a first step toward being a better person. Admitting what you did was stupid then wanting to be better. I'm proud of you, Peter." Brian said.
"Yeah, for how long, three days?" Stewie questioned his father's antics.
Lois said, "Even though our town is flooded for a while. How about we all watch whatever is on Disney Plus?"
"I like that very much." Peter said.
Peter Griffin will now keep his word of honor not to do anymore silly and destructive phases and schemes that give him, his family, and the whole town into an uncontrollable predicament.
Or will he?
The next day, Peter is then shown on a motor boat in a costume like Don Johnson's character Sonny from Miami Vice. Riding in the now flooded waters of Quahog. Brian was along for the ride. Who was dressed as Tubbs.
"PETER! I thought you said you were done with being an asshole!" Brian shouted over the noise of the motor boat.
"I LIED!" Peter screamed.
The Miami Vice theme plays as Peter and Brian rode on the motor boat all around the flooded waters of Quahog.
Stewie watched the whole thing from his bedroom from a telescope. "I KNEW IT!"
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