FicWad

VIII

It was now the last two weeks of tour and everyone was getting really tired and couldn't wait for it to end so we could go home for a rest. Benji and Gabby had got a lot closer but still where 'just friends'. Me and Joel where still getting on as good as ever, I think this time we can really make it work. We where stopped at this venue for four days which meant we got a hotel and two rental cars. We had the day off and Benji and Gabby had gone out for 'lunch' but we all teased them calling it a date, Billy and Paul had gone checking out some video games stores and some art stuff for Billy and me and Joel decided to go out for the day in the rental car. We didn't know where either of us wanted to go. I think we where just happy to go out and spend time together alone. We drove round stopping in a few cool shops; we had lunch and then stopped at a beach. It was getting late so the beach was near enough empty. We walked along the edge of the sea with our arms around each other. When we got back to the car to go back to the hotel.
"Give me the keys." I said.
"Why?" he smiled at me.
"Because I want to drive." I smiled back.
"No I'm driving." He smirked.
"But you've been driving all day I want a go." I pouted.
"Carlee get in the car I'm driving, if you wanted to drive you shouldn't have leant your car to Billy and Paul." He laughed.
"Fine you drive." I huffed and sat in the passenger side.
The day had been really nice and relaxing. Everything was perfect until we where going though some traffic lights, on the way to the hotel. Out of nowhere a huge truck came across and hit us spinning the car cross the road. I don't remember anything from them on.

The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital two days later with one hell of a head ache and really sore ribs. When I woke up Gabby was sat next to me. The minute I opened my eyes she ran and got the nurse. I was really confused as to what was going on. The nurse started doing some checks on me and then the doctor came in and shooed everyone out.
"Now Miss Jameson, it's nice to see you wake, how are you feeling?" the doctor smiled at me.
"Erm I'm not sure I have a really bad head ache..."
"That would be the concussion; do you feel nauseous at all?" I never thought about it but when he brought it up I did feel a little sick too. I nodded. "You may also experience some dizzy spells for a couple of days too. Anything else?"
"Yeah my ribs a really painful too."
"Yes you broke three ribs so moving and just breathing or talking in general will be painful for the next couple of weeks." I nodded. "So I would strongly advise plenty of rest for you..."
"Wait, what about Joel is he ok?" I said suddenly remembering he was in the car too.
"Mr Madden is doing just fine, he dislocated his shoulder when the air bag inflated but other than that he is fine. The air bag saved him from any serious injury. You on the other hand your air bag had a malfunction and didn't inflate causing you to be forced forward giving you that nasty bump on the head causing a concussion and you to be knocked out. It was a good job you had your seat belt on, even though it was that that cause your broken ribs, it saved you from being thrown through the widescreen and probably killing you. I'm going to give you some medication for the pain and I would like to keep you in for a little longer to keep a check on you but if all goes well you can leave in the morning." The doctor smiled at me then leaving and Gabby walked in.
"Bloody hell Carlee you haven't half scared us these past two days." Gabby said giving me a careful hug.
"TWO DAYS!"
"Yeah you've be out for two days" she said.
"Fuck me. What's been going on?"
"Nothing much when Benji got the call that you and Joel where in the accident and where in hospital we called Billy and Paul and we've been here ever since. By the time we got her Joel was already discharged. He's been worried sick abut you we've been getting worried about him. He blames himself for the accident. He's not left here since, the only time any of the guys have left you is when they've had to go to a show. Their at an interview now but I just called them when you woke up and their on their way. How are you feeling?"
"Not so good my head feels like a tone of bricks and just breathing and talking is so painful with my ribs. What about the tour?"
"Don't worry about it I made sure the guys made it to their show last night and their interview this morning. They didn't want to go they wanted to stay with you but I managed to make them. They are going to cancel the rest of the tour though."
"What they can't do that."
"They want to make sure your ok."
"But there's only a week left, I'm not going to let them, I'm in charge they are doing the tour." I said.
"Ok we'll sort it out later you need rest."
"I don't want to rest I hate sitting around doing nothing and I hate hospitals." I complained.
"I can tell your getting better with the bitching and complaining." Gabby laughed. I began to laugh too but it hurt to much so ended up just groaning in pain.
"Do you remember anything...you know form the accident?"
"No not really it's all really blurry. I remember having a really good day with Joel, then us arguing over who gets to drive, being at the traffic lights... then...then that's it all I remember after that is waking up here." I said.
"But you remember who you are and everyone one else and everything?"
"Yeah it's just the accident that's gone." I nodded.
Seconds later the door open reviling a teddy bear with Benji behind it.
"Hey." I smiled.
"Hey nice to see you awake, how are you feeling?" he asked concerned putting the teddy down and sitting on the other side of me.
"Erm well I have one bitch of a head ache, I'm nauseous, dizzy and it's so painful to even talk or breathe but other than that I'm great." I smiled.
"So not so good?" Benji smiled.
"No not really but glad to be awake. Apparently I've been out for a while."
"Yeah you gave us one hell of a scare." He smiled.
"Where's everyone else?"
"Oh Billy and Paul had to stay and finish the interview but they'll be here as soon as it's finished." He said then started looking shifty and wouldn't look me in the eye.
"And Joel?" I asked a little confused at what he was hiding from me.
"Erm Joel... Joel's." Benji stuttered looking at the floor refusing to look at me.
"Benj what's going on?"
"Joel's out side." He said quickly and finally making eye contact.
"Well tell him to come in." I said confused and getting annoyed.
"He won't." Benji said quietly.
"Why not?"
"Carlee I don't know how much Gabby's told you but Joel's really messed up he thinks all this is his fault he feels so guilty he wants to know your ok but he feels like he shouldn't be around you. He thinks your going to be mad at him or blame him."
"That's ridiculous."
"I know but that's what he's got into his head."
"Benji please get him in her I really want to see him, for fucks sake I'm in hospital just woke up from being out for two days and my boyfriend doesn't want to see me how do you think that makes me feel." I said getting upset. Gabby put and arm around me carefully.
"I know we've tried to reason with him, he's been sat outside that room for the past two days, we've been in here with you but he won't come past those doors, we've tried everything."
"Go tell him I don't blame him, I'm not mad or what ever other silly ideas he's got and make him come see me." I said.
"I'll try." Benji smiled getting up and leaving.
"Are you ok?" Gabby said quietly.
"Do you think I'm ok as if a concussion and broken ribs isn't enough to deal with the one person I love more than anything and I thought felt the same way about me doesn't want to see me."
"Carlee he really does care for you and love you he's just... I don't know it's just got to him."
Just them the door opened we looked up thinking Benji had managed to get Joel to come in but instead there stood Billy and Paul.
"Carlee your awake I've missed you sooooooooo much." Paul said leaning over kissing my forehead. I smiled.
"How are you feeling?" Billy said leaning over giving me a kiss on the fore head as well.
"Other than the headache nauseous dizziness and painful ribs to even talk or breathe I'm ok. Oh yeah and the other little fact that my boyfriend refuses to see me."
"Oh you heard about that."
"Yeah I did what's got into his head; I thought I was the one that banged my head."
"He's really worried sick about you..."
"Well he should want to see me to put his mind at rest."
"We know we've been going through this for the past two days with him but he just doesn't get it." Just then Benji walked in, alone. I looked at him expectedly.
"He went to the hotel." He said quietly.
"HE WHAT?!" I shrieked then felt a sudden shooting pain in my ribs, I flinched and they all looked at me worriedly. I relaxed a little and the pain died down again.
"Carlee?" Gabby asked.
"I'm ok." I said to her then looked back to Benji "you let him go?"
"No when I got out there he'd apparently already talked to the doctor found out that you where alright then left before I got out there, I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be." I said quietly looking down playing with my nails.
"Carlee..." gabby started softy.
"I'm ok just can you leave me alone for now, I think I do need that rest and you guys have to go pack for tomorrow anyway." I said.
"We're not going anywhere tomorrow your still in here." Paul said.
"Yeah but the doctor said I'll be discharged in the morning and we're leaving for the final venue in the afternoon so you guys had better go get packed and ready to go seen as I wont be there to check up on you."
"Carlee we're going to cancel the rest of the tour." Billy said.
"Like hell you are."
"Carlee it's only a week..." Benji said.
"Exactly only a week I'll be fine I can look after myself besides Gabby's here to help now."
"But..."
"No but's I'll be out of here in the morning and the tour will go on, now go get packed and get everything sorted." I said in my usual authoritive tone.
"She's defiantly getting better." Paul mumbled making them laugh. Benji was the last to leave.
"Oh and Benj..." I called. He stopped and turned round to face me. "Go slap some sense into your brother for me." I smiled.
"Don't worry I will do." He laughed then followed the others out.

Soon after the doctor came giving me my pain killer which worked a treat they took away the pain but they where that strong that they made me feel like I was pissed which I found quite funny. Even though the pain of my injuries had gone or eased off the pain from the way Joel was being was still there in full force. I just wanted to get out of this place so I could go see him and make him talk to me to make him see that it's not his fault and I'm not mad at him.

The next morning at 8am the doctor came round doing his checks, he came to me last did the usual checks plus some extra checks, he asked me some questions then finally agreed to let me go. He gave me my very strong pain killers for my ribs and my head ache. Who would have thought breaking a few ribs would be so painful but it was. I could breathe with out being in excruciating pain never mind walking. At nine o'clock Benji arrived to pick me up.
"Hey you ready to go?" he smiled walking up to me sat in the waiting room.
"You bet your ass I'm ready to go." I said making him laugh I tried laughing but soon gave up when the pain kicked in. "Ok your going to have to help." I said holding my hand out for him. He smiled and gently helped me up the n putting his arms carefully around me helping me to walk slowly to the car.
"Are you ok?" He asked at he helped me into the car.
"Yeah I'm fine." I smiled. We drove to the bus I was getting nervous about seeing Joel and how he'd react.
"So how come you're here picking me up?" I smiled at him as we drove.
"Gabby decided to stay and make sure everything got sorted and thought I was most responsible to pick you up." he smiled proudly. I laughed a little being careful not to irritate my ribs again. "What's so funny about that?"
"Sorry I just have a hard time believing that any of you guys would be classed as responsible but if any I would have my money on Billy." I said making him laugh.
"Yeah I guess your right she only sent me really because I was the only one who was packed and ready to go."
"Thought so." I grinned. We went quiet for a moment.
"So on a scale of one to ten how much pain are you in?" Benji asked.
"A thousand."
"And how much of that is because of Joel."
"About 75%."
"Really?" he said seeming shocked.
"Yeah mainly because of these fucking pain killers there so fucking strong they take the pain away but they make me feel like I'm pissed." I said making him laugh.
"Got you all drugged up have they."
"Like you wouldn't believe. You should see me when the medication first kicks in; it's starting to were off now I need some more soon."
"So did they say how long you're going to be like this?"
"About two weeks then it should start to be getting better."
"Two weeks?"
"Yeah I know it sucks which means I can't do anything for two weeks because of the pain but mainly because I'm that drugged up for the pain I don't know what I'm doing half the time, it's mad it's like I'm constantly drunk." I laughed.
"How's your head is anything coming back to you?"
"I still have the biggest bitch of a headache ever and doctors say it's unlikely that I'll ever remember it."
We arrived at the bus I seen Billy and Paul just entering it and Gabby was outside talking to Steve.
"Hey Carlee you feeling better it's good seeing you." Steve said giving me a gentle hug.
"Thanks Steve yeah I fell a little better mainly because I'm drugged up to the eye balls like but never mind it's all good." I said we laughed.
"Everything ready we're all packed loaded up, I've checked us out and everything's done all we need to do now is get on the bus and leave." Gabby smiled proudly.
"Wow well done Gabs I'd better watch out my job may be on the line with you around."
"Don't worry I may have managed to sort everything out but I don't envy you at all it's so stressful you can keep it." She laughed.
"Thanks I don't think these guys get how stressful it can be sometimes." I said pointing to Benji.
"Yeah but we love you for it" he smiled and put an arm around me gently.
"Ok come lets get going then." I said and started making my way on to the bus with the help of Gabby and Benji.

When we got onto the bus Billy, Paul and Joel where in the dining area. Gabby and Benji helped me sit on the sofa in the front of the bus because the pain was getting a little too much so I needed a sit down. As soon as I got on the bus Joel won't look at me and shuffled off to the back of the bus. Billy and Paul came over to me talking to me as Benji and Gabby sat with me too.
"Can one of you pass me my medication out of my bag please?" I asked. Billy got up and passed it to me seen as he was nearest. Benji smirked at me as I took it.
"What's up with you?" Paul said to him.
"He's laughing because I told him when have this stuff it's so strong to take the pain away but it also makes me feel pissed." I explained making them laugh. Sure enough soon after I had taken my medication the pain eased off a lot but I also got light headed.


We hung out in the front of the bus for a little longer, Joel still hadn't came out from the back, until the first blast of the pain killers started wearing off and I was feeling a little more in control of my body I decided to go see Joel. I slowly and painfully got up and made my way slowly to the back of the bus. Walking was so painful with the pressure on my ribs.
"Carlee are you ok?" Paul said worriedly as I walked past him. Pain obviously visible on my face. I just nodded and carried on going walking and talking would just be way to painful I'm better just being left to it.
As I walked into the back of the bus Joel was lay in his bunk, he looked up but then quickly avoided eye contact when he seen it was me. I rest myself against the wall and sighed.
"Please talk to me Joel." I said softly pleading with him.
"How are you feeling?" he finally said quietly still not making eye contact. I sat down next to him on the bunk, flinching in pain as I did so. A flash of worry and concern filled his eyes.
"not too good I mean apart from the pain of broken ribs and the head ache from hell from the concussion the thing that's hurting me the most is my boyfriend won't even look at me." I said I could tell he didn't expect the last bit as he looked a little taken back by it.
"I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for? If you're apologising for the way you've treated me since the accident I accept but if you're apologising for the accident I most defiantly do not accept."
"Carlee I don't know what to say to you the accident was all my fault I'm so sorry."
"Joel you don't have to be sorry for the accident it wasn't your fault no one could have prevented it. The truck came form no where. I don't blame you."
"But it shouldn't have been you that got all the injuries..."
"Joel you didn't come off totally fine either."
"I know but you look at you I feel so guilty I should have been the one with those injuries."
"How do you work that out?"
"Because you wanted to drive and I was being childish and selfish not letting you. If you where diving it would have been me in the passenger seat and me with those injuries but then again if you where driving you probably wouldn't have even got us into the accident. It's all my fault."
"Joel will you stop saying that, it's not your fault, I don't blame you and I'm not mad at you. Actually yeah I am mad at you but not for the accident I'm mad because the one person I would have wanted to see in the whole world when I woke up was you but no you where no where near."
"I was sat in the hospital every minute I had while you where out."
"Yeah but where in the hospital where you? By my bedside where you should have been? No you where in the waiting room then the minute I woke up you fucked off! What's all that about?" I said getting mad from my hurt.
"Carlee I'm so sorry I panicked I thought that you'd hate me and blame me for the accident I was scared, I ... I don't know what I was thinking I'm sorry."
"Joel you have no idea how much it hurt finding out that you didn't want to see me..." tears starting to flow.
"I wanted to see you I really did but I just couldn't...I..." he broke off his own tears visible. We sat in silence both just staring at the floor thinking.
"Joel." I said breaking the silence.
"Yeah?" He looked at me.
"You're an idiot." I laughed lightening the mood a little.
"I know." he nodded smiling too. "So you're not mad at me?"
"No just upset that you couldn't bring your stupid ass to come see me when there was nothing more that I wanted than to see you. How do you think I felt with I know my injuries where bad but at least I knew I was ok. I didn't get to see you to see if you where ok." I said. He nodded.
"I was an idiot and I'm really sorry for it, please forgive me." he said looking into my eyes.
"Joel I've already forgave you I do understand where you where coming from, I just wish you had thought about how I was feeling."
"I know I'm sorry." We once again went silent.
"Joel."
"Yeah?"
"Can we go back to normal now?"
"If that's what you want?" he said unsure.
"Of course it's what I bloody want." I laughed. He smiled and went to give me a hug then gave me a worried looked as if I'd break. "Joel you can hug me, just be gentle." I smiled. He leaned in giving me a light hug barely even touching me.
"So what's going on with you? What the damage?" he asked.
"Well I have a fucking bitch of a headache, nausea and dizzy spells from the concussion but that should end in a week, I can barely breathe never mind talking and walking my ribs are so painful and I'm on enough painkillers to knock an elephant out for a year."
Fucking hell."
"I know and your brother finds my situation amusing seen as the pain killers I'm on when I first take them it's like I'm pissed for the first half an hour before they start Woking and wearing off." I laughed a little making him laugh too.
"Benji for ya." He shrugged.
"It certainly is." I smiled.
"Wanna go see what everyone's up to?" he asked standing up.
"Yeah but your going to have to help me." I said. He gently helped me up and helped me walk though the bus.
"Carlee will you find a spot and fucking stay there, the doctor told you rest that involves doing nothing." Benji lectured me.
"Well I can't just sit on my ass and do nothing."
"Yes you can, sit!" Gabby said directing me over to the sofa.
"Oh I get it, two to on the same page and everything." I smirked eyeing Benji and Gabby. Paul, Billy and Joel laughed.
We hung out for the rest of the night on the bus none of them letting me do anything or even move. I even got lectured when I just wanted to get up to go to the bathroom.

It got to the time when we all wanted to go to sleep.
"Carlee are you going to be ok on the bunks?" Billy asked.
"No I'm gunna sleep on the sofa it's better for me than trying to get up on that top bunk." I said. The sofa's on the bus where like beds they where more comfortable than the bunks.
"You can have my bottom if you want?" Joel said.
"That's even worse, nah just I'll just get my duvet and pillow and I'll be fine here." I said about to get up.
"No your not you stay there we'll go get them." Gabby said going getting me duvet and pillow.
"Thanks."
"Now is there anything else you need?"
"no that's it." I smiled.
"Ok, night." gabby said giving me a light hug then going to the bunks.
"If you need anything just shout, really loud." Benji laughed giving me a light hug and a kiss on the cheek then following Gabby to the bunks. Billy and Paul said good night to me and then followed Benji and Gabby to the bunks. I looked at Joel he was the only one left. He sat on the sofa opposite the one I was on.
"Aren't you going to go to bed?" I asked him.
"No I'm sleeping out here with you." he smiled.
"Ok if that's what you want." I nodded.
"It is." He smiled leaning over kissing me gently. I kissed back gently for a second then got bored and pulled him into a full on kiss Joel trying his best not to lean on me at all.

The next morning I woke up quiet early because the pain killers had defiantly worn off and the pain was back in full force. I struggled getting up but had to so I could get something to eat then take the pain killers. Everyone was still asleep Joel looked so cute when he was sleeping. I had been awake for a good half an hour, had something to eat, had my pain killers and the pain was just starting to leave as Joel started to wake up. He must have noticed I wasn't still sleeping on the sofa and woke up to look around for where I was. He sat up and seen me sat in the dining area drinking a cup of coffee.
"Morning." I smiled.
"Carlee what are you doing up?" he said getting up stretching and walking over to me.
"The pain woke me up, I need my pain killers but I needed something to eat first so I decided to get up. Want some coffee?" I smiled.
"Carlee you're supposed to be resting you should have woke me up."
"Joel I am resting so what I moved a couple pf feet to make something to eat it's not exactly strenuous."
"I know, but seriously your not superwoman slow down and let us look after you for a while. If you don't then I'll cancel the rest of the tour." he said knowing that would get to me and make me let them take care of me.
"You're not cancelling the tour."
"Well let us look after you."
"Fine."
"Good." He smiled.
"Morning, Joel what did you let her move for." Benji said.
"I..."
"Benj drop it I'm fine."
"You won't be if you carry on."
"Yeah and you won't be if you carry on lecturing me."
"Ok deal you let us look after you and we'll stop lecturing you."
"Sorry I have already made a deal about looking after me with Joel." I grinned.
"Don't worry Benj if Carlee won't slow down and let us take care of her we cancel tour." Joel said.
"Ooo good one." Benji laughed sitting down about to drink his coffee.
"Ok well seen as your taking care of me and not letting me do anything your going to have to go wake Billy and Paul up because you have sound check in an hour and while your at it wake Gabby up too because she's going to have to look after me while your at sound check." I grinned, yes having GC and Gabby looking after me wouldn't be so bad after all.
"Well can I at lest finish my coffee." Benji said.
"No you need to do it now."
"But..."
"Well I guess I'll have to go do it myself." I sighed pretending to get up.
"No, no Carlee you stay there I'll go do it." Joel said. I smirked.
"Your loving this." Benji laughed.
"Oh yeah your gonna wish you never made that deal with me." I grinned.