Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Wonderwall

I was the one who saw you first, grain in the sands of the universe, i never knew what was ahead of me...

by getup_n_go 2 reviews

life after birth

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-09-27 - Updated: 2006-09-28 - 1190 words

AN: Meh, another short ass chapter. I think I'm making this the ending, but i feel like there are too many lose ends somewhere. i might write a prolouge if any of you let me know that you want to know something more about the future of Tinsely and Ryan. so review now, because if you don't tell me what you want to know, I'm closing the story. Enjoy!

Title: "Shades of Love" - Empty Trash

Panic! became unbelievably popular in a very short amount of time and the attention fell mainly on the music, but there were many fans that engrossed themselves with who the boys were too, and Tinsley and Brody were a big discussion everywhere. It was becoming extremely commonplace to see pictures and videos all over message boards, youtube and buzznet of Brody, Tinsley and Ryan. Pictures and videos of Ryan holding Brody, carrying a diaper bag with his guitar and even a few of Brody's many uncles holding him, playing with him, and taking him places and it was all grating on Tinsley's nerves. She had expected bouts of privacy invasion but it was happening too often for her liking. Occasionally she would see what people were talking about and it was mostly Ryan's fans bitching and moaning about her and saying things about how she "trapped" Ryan, that she was a big slut sleeping with Brendon on the side, how big of a snobby bitch she was and how she was this and that. Tinsley was beginning to feel like she couldn't even walk off the bus or go with Brody to watch his daddy perform. Still, with all of the fans complaining, it seemed like a small obsession with some people to acquire pictures and video of the tiny family. People would gush over how cute Brody was and then turn around and be horrible to Tinsley. She felt like she was an outsider sometimes in her own family. The people close to the band, as well as the band themselves, never made her feel shitty about the situation anymore and she was part of the team and it felt good to be around those people. But the second she would step out of that comfort zone, it felt like she was stepping into a foreign world.

Brody turned out to be a very good baby, like he was born adapted to this lifestyle. He only complained when he needed something. Tinsley found it was impossible to get him to sleep and settle down when the boys were playing. Ryan would sometimes sit on the floor on the bus with Brody and just play his acoustic guitar softly while Brody would crawl around him absolutely transfixed on it, occasionally reaching out to touch the guitar.


The boys were doing their usual pre-show preparations, while Tinsley held a napping Brody. He was only four months old, but had gotten so big, she was convinced he was going to be tall like his dad.

Today, specifically, Ryan was feeling worn out, and was lazily applying his intricate stage make-up, Spencer was slowly getting dressed with Holly's help, while Jon (their new bassist) sat drinking his "warm-up" whiskey. Brody was surprisingly fast asleep, even through Brendon's ritual which involved him belting his scales over his ipod. Tinsley sat near Ryan, observing everyone's behavior. She was actually feeling pretty mad today. She was usually very friendly towards the fans, even though they made her crazy, but today some particularly pushy teenies got too personal with her and she basically told them to fuck off, but was still steaming about the level of privacy total strangers seemed to know.

Ryan sat his eyeliner down and turned to look at Tinsley. He was feeling unsure with her lately because she was constantly fighting with him about something. She was currently holding his son, staring off in Jon's direction, looking annoyed about something, probably a fan, he suspected because they were one of the things that was always being brought up during their fights. He couldn't believe that they had known each other for over a year already. What was even crazier was how much his life had changed in that year. He was in one of the most successful bands of the year, he had become a father and they were had just started their first stadium tour. He was playing Madison Square Garden in two weeks for Christ sakes. The rest of the guys were finally ready and started to gather by the door. Glancing again at Tinsley, who still hadn't snapped out of it, Ryan grabbed Brody's ear plugs and gently placed them in his tiny ears, not wanting to wake him. The motion made Tinsley move and she just stared at Ryan for a minute. She was always thrown off by the stuff all over his face; she just wasn't used to seeing him in his character of rock star. It was almost like a connection was never made in Tinsley's mind between who Ryan was to her and who Ryan was to the rest of the world. It was like dating two different men.

"You okay?" he asked her softly, really not looking for a fight at the moment. Tinsley merely shrugged at him and Ryan sighed. He kissed her quick then followed his band mates toward the stage. Tinsley rolled her eyes at his random attempts at romance. She was finding it hard to believe that she had been on the road with the band for a year already. From Ryan pushing the ear plugs in Brody's ear, he woke up and began to holler. She laid the screaming baby out on the blanket and picked up the diaper bag to grab a bottle. She was pissed to find that Ryan had forgotten to grab one out of the fridge on the bus and that now she had to walk outside with screaming Brody and draw all kinds of attention to herself.

When she returned inside the venue, the guys were already on the last song of their first set and Tinsley felt annoyed. She had been feeling that way a lot lately. It was their first show on the stadium tour and she had missed half of it. She was not happy. Brody was however, he was always mesmerized by the lights and the sounds he could hear, however muffled they were.

Tinsley looked down at him and smiled. She beamed with pride seeing her two men sync up like this and forgot about all her troubles. It was interesting to her, how the slightest things that Brody does can make her have no cares. The only thing that truly mattered at the end of the day was this: her son and Ryan. She loved them both, with all of her heart and soul and she knew that their life, no matter its ups and downs, the good and the bad, they would always be in it together. The glamour she once knew was now miles away and mere memories and she realized that this was how her life was meant to be lived.
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