Categories > Anime/Manga > My Hero Academia > Needing Help Depressed Kiribaku
A/N: before we start!! Please note, this contains, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts and cutting and mentions of abuse, also swearing. Please don't hate me for writing it and if you are triggered by those things please leave. You have been warned.
This might be short. I sometimes lose motivation for stories fast lol, this is also my first story so please don't hate, please excuse any grammar errors and stuff, I'm trying my best since this is my first story. Sorry, this is probably not great and probably really short
This is a story where Bakugo has anxiety and depression and Kirishima is depressed
Now without further ado, lets go.
Ships this contains and/or talks about:
Kiribaku
Tododeku
Slight Shinkami
Slight Momojiro
Platonic Bakudeku
Platonic KiriKami
Kirishima's POV
It was a normal day at home. Mom hit me and dad called me fat. I knew dad was right, I was fat, which is why I planned on not eating. I was lucky to go back to the dorms tomorrow.
I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I sat in the corner of my bathroom thinking about all the things that I have been called in my life.
"Whore" "slut" "bitch" "liar" "attention seeker" "fat" "ugly" all ran through my head. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't help it. I grabbed my blade, and started to cut. After almost 20 cuts on each wrist I stopped and realized I'd have to wear a long sleeve shirt for awhile so no one questioned. I grabbed my bandages and wrapped my wrists up, then quickly ran too my room and changed into a long sleeve shirt.
"Eijiro!" My mom yelled up the stairs. I hid my blade in my jacket pocket so I could take it to the UA dorms with me. I quickly ran downstairs.
"Why'd you change?" My mom asked.
Oh shit I thought.
"O-oh! I accidentally spilt my food on my shirt" I lied. My mom nodded. I didn't know if that mean she believed me or not.
"Anyways, Eijiro, I wanted to talk to you" She said. I panicked. There was lots of things I've been hiding from her.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to hide my worry.
"I've been finding sharp things all over your room lately and so I need to talk to you about that, if you don't clean your room you or someone else might get hurt" she said, then walked away. I just stood there.
~Times skip, two days~
I sat at lunch with Bakugo, Mina, Sero and Denki. I didn't want to but I knew it would be suspicious if I didn't.
"Holy Shit, Kiri!! How can you wear that jacket? It's like 92 degrees!" Denki said.
Fuck I thought.
"Eh, I'm cold. I think I'm sick because I'm cold. I'm gonna go see the nurse" I lied, getting up and throwing away my food that I hadn't even touched. I walked to my dorm.
Bakugo's POV
When Kirishima walked away from the table, I felt my stomach hurt and and my breathing changed.
"Why now! And why even in general, damn it." I thought. I wasn't anxious about anything so why was I having a anxiety attack. I didn't know but I had to get out of there as, like normal, I was about to cry from the pain of my stomach hurting because the anxiety was making it hard to breathe.
"I have to pee!" I said and ran from the cafeteria, to the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in the stall and let myself cry. I heard a knock at the stall.
"Bakugo?" I heard Kirishima say.
"What shitty hair?" I snapped, tears streaming down my face.
"Open please, I know your not going to the bathroom." He said. There was no point in lying. I could trust him, right? He was my friend after all, and maybe he could help, and I hated to admit it, even to myself, I really needed help.
I opened the stall down, and once Kirishima saw me in tears he gave me a big hug.
"Bakugo..what's wrong?" He said gently, rubbing my back. It was really calming me down
"anxiety.." I whispered. Kirishima hugged me tighter. I knew he cared about me and that I was really calming me down, but i was still gasping for air because I couldn't breathe. I looked at my phone. We were late for class.
"Sorry Kirishima, I made you late" I said.
"It's fine. I want to be here for you, even if I'm late." Kirishima whispered wrapping his arms around my waist. I smiled at him and he smiled back. But I noticed, he wasn't really smiling. His mouth was smiling but his eyes were dull and empty.
I looked at him.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded and fake smiled.
Kirishima's POV
I had my arms around Bakugo's waist. We just stood there, disregarding the fact we were late to class.
"Are you okay?" Bakugo asked me. I nodded and fake smiled. It hurt me to lie to Bakugo about me being abused by my parents, and my depression, after he'd been so honest with me about his anxiety. I felt bad that I'd never noticed he'd had anxiety, and that I wasn't there for him. I knew I'd have to cut after class, as punishment for not always being there for Bakugo, and for lying to him.
"You okay now." I asked. He nodded and wiped his eyes. I let go of his waist and we walked to class. When we walked in, Mr. Aizawa looked up. "See me after class, boys" was all he said.
~Time skip, after class~
When everyone left class, Mr. Aizawa looked at us.
"Why were you late?" He asked. Bakugo looked at the floor.
"It's my fault, I was sick so Bakugo was taking care of me." I said quickly, knowing Bakugo wouldn't want to talk about his anxiety.
Mr. Aizawa sighed. "Don't let it happen again!" He said then waved us out of the classroom.
I ran to my dorm and locked the door. I grabbed my blade from under my lamp. I looked at my wrists. There was no where on there to cut, so I pulled up the legs of my pants, and cut my thighs. I heard a knock on the door. I panicked. I dropped my blade and pulled my pant legs down. I opened the door. It was Bakugo.
"Hey, Kirishima, I just wanted to say, thanks for helping me calm down earlier-" he stopped talking and looked at my thighs, it bleed through my pants already.
He saw the blade on the ground. He picked it up. I grabbed it from him and went to close the door. He stopped it with his foot.
"Eijiro..." He said pushing the door open. I took a step back and tried to cover my thighs with my hand, I started to cry.
Bakugo's POV
I looked at the blade that I found on Kirishima's floor. I looked at Kirishima backing away from me, crying while trying to cover his pants that had blood all over them.
"Eijiro..." I said, attempting not to cry. "Are you cutting?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded and sat in the corner. I dropped the blade and ran from the room, crying. I bumped into Denki on the way. He looked at me.
"Bakubro, are you okay?"
"Shut it dunce face" I yelled, although, I appreciated him asking if I was okay. Before I ran off, I gave him a big hug, while still crying.
"I love you, you were a true friend" I said, and ran off, leaving a confused Denki standing there. I ran to my dorm, forgot to lock the door. I grabbed my pill bottle. I'd been feeling suicidal for along time, but today was the last straw. I couldn't believe that Kirishima didn't trust me. I couldn't believe I was such a bad friend that Kirishima wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I grabbed the note I wrote to my friends, and then I swallowed the last 26 pills left.
Denki's POV.
I knew what was happening. I knew Bakugo was suicidal based off a paper I found in his room, I didn't say anything but now I wish I had. I grabbed Mina's hand, and didn't try to find the rest of our friends, we didn't have time. Mina was confused.
"Denki what the hell" she said.
"I don't have time to explain!!" I shouted dragging her to Bakugo's dorm. I opened Bakugo's door, luckily it was unlocked. I ran to Bakugo and feel to my knees in tears. Mina was confused.
"MINA!! GO FIND SERO, KIRISHIMA AND MIDORIYA." I yelled. Mina very confused, did what I said.
I cried next to Bakugo, who was laying on the floor. I took the note and pill bottle from his hands and put my hands in Bakugo's.
"Katsuki..." I cried. "Please don't die...I need you..your the one who always pushed me to do better, your the one who made me laugh... Your my best friend and we have had so many good times.." I said sobbing. I could tell Bakugo was still alive for now, and he could hear me. Mina, Sero, Midoriya and Kirishima ran in.
~Time skip to after Bakugo is in the hospital and Midoriya, Denki, Sero, Mina and Kirishima are all in Bakugos dorm crying~
Midoriya picked up the note.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Read it, I already did" I said crying, thinking about how Bakugo hugged me and said he loved me in the hall.
Midoriya read it, then Mina, then Sero and after Kirishima read it, he got up and ran from the room.
Kirishima's POV
I read the note that Denki told me to read.
Dear friends, (even you Izuku)
I'm sorry that it has to be this way but your better with me dead.
I love all of you and sorry for everything I've done mean to you.
I appreciate everything you've ever done for me.
I'm so sorry I wasn't a good enough friend, and I'm so sorry for always insulting you.
Thank you for everything.
I love you guys, stay safe, stay happy.
Your friend,
KATSUKI
I realized that Bakugo trying to kill himself was MY fault, if I hadn't lied to him, he wouldn't have done this. I dropped the note and went to my dorm. I sat on my bed and sobbed. I wanted to cut but I didn't because I knew someone was gonna come after me and I didn't want anyone to know I cut. Sure enough Denki came in.
"Hey.." He said softly. He came over and hugged me. "I know your sad.."
"No shit! Of course I'm sad!! My best friend just tried to kill himself and I'm 98% sure its MY fault!" I shouted at Denki then started to cry more. "Sorry for yelling"
"it's fine..." Denki whispered. "and I'M 100% sure this isn't your fault" Denki said, still crying. After lots of crying, we were all tired. Mina, Sero and Midoriya came in. "Sleepover, no one can say no. After what happened, no one can be alone until we know if Bakugo is okay, I don't want any more suicide attempts, lets go, my dorm" Mina said. I honestly was okay with that. I didn't want to be alone right now. Denki grabbed my hands and pulled me up.
"I have the best friends, their so nice and caring." I thought.
We spent the night at Mina's dorm.
~Time Skip, to two days later~
Were sitting in class, like usual on a normal Tuesday afternoon. Mina still wasn't letting Me, Sero, Denki or Midoriya anywhere alone. The door the the class opened. Bakugo stood there looking at the floor. Only Me, Denki, Mina, Sero, Midoriya and Mr. Aizawa knew what really happened, everyone else was told that Bakugo got hurt during training.
"Welcome back, Bakugo" Mr. Aizawa said, and nodded at him. Bakugo fake smiled. I was really worried about Bakugo but I wouldn't be able to see him because I had detention today.
~Time skip to night time after detention~
I walked to my dorm. I was sad I didn't get to see Bakugo but I knew I'd see him tomorrow. Before I went to bed I heard a knock at my door. I opened it and saw Bakugo. He looked at the ground.
"Uhm..hey.." He said quietly. I pulled him in, closed the door, and pushed him on my bed and cuddled him.
"Oh my god!!" I said trying to not scream.
"umm..." Bakugo said, confused by the random cuddles.
"Sorry-" I said and moved away from him. He grabbed me by the waist.
"You are not leaving" he said and cuddled me.
"Good. I didn't want to" I said and cuddled back. I saw him smile. And I could tell it was a real smile. For the first time in a long time, I smiled a real smile.
Bakugo's POV
I looked at Kirishima's smiling face. He was so cute when he had a real smile. He made me happy just by being around me.
"I love you" I mumbled at him.
Fuck, did I just say that out loud. I thought.
"What?" He said, even though I knew he heard me. Then, I did the stupidest thing ever. I leaned forward and kissed him. I pulled away quickly and said,
"I love you"
Kirishima blushed. "I love you too"
We kept cuddling until we both fell asleep.
~Time skip to two days and they start dating and everyone knows~
I sit in my dorm alone waiting for Bakugo to come over. Once Bakugo came, my phone rang. I answer it. It was from my dad.
"Hey Eijiro" he said.
"Oh! H-hey!" I said.
"Are you eating?" He asked.
"Not really" I said, thinking he cared about my health.
"Good. That'll help you lose weight, until you lose weight I promise no one truly loves you, your too fat to be truly loved" he said. I tried not to cry with Bakugo in the room. I really didn't want my boyfriend to think I'm weak.
"Right." I said and hung up.
I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I grabbed my blade. I needed to do this, I just had to make sure Bakugo didn't notice. I rolled up my sleeves and started cutting.
Bakugo's POV
I walked to the door.
"Eij..you in there?" I asked. He looked sad when he got off the phone so I wanted to check on him. There was no answer but i knew he was in there. I grabbed the key to the bathroom and unlocked the door.
I saw him on the floor, blade in his hand, blood on his wrist and tears flowing down his face.
I ran over to him and hugged him, almost crying.
"Eijiro!!" I said, worried. He tried to move away from me. I knew it. He was moving away because he didn't really love me. He only said he loved me because I said it first and he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
"I'm sorry Katsuki.."
I let go of him. And ran out. I decided to talk to the person who I knew would give me advice and not judge me. I went and knocked on Deku's dorm door. He opened it.
"Are you busy?" I asked.
"Nope. What's up Kacchan?" He said.
"I need to talk to someone who won't judge me and someone who will just listen and care for me, so I came to you" I said. Deku nodded. He pulled me in his room and shut the door.
"What's up" He said. I sat on the floor and he sat in front of me.
"Well..dont tell anyone about this talk" I said.
"What's said and done in this room, stays between us" he promised. I smiled, glad I had such a sweet childhood friend.
"it's Kirishima..he was cutting in the bathroom...and I feel like because he did that, that I'm not a good enough boyfriend." I said, starting to cry more. Deku gave me a hug.
"Hey hey hey, don't think your a bad boyfriend..its not your fault that he was cutting, all you need to do, is be there for him, and that's what makes you a good boyfriend, let him know you care about him and that your always there for him" Deku said, rubbing my back. I hugged him back and cried more,
"I don't think he really loves me.. I think he just didn't want to hurt my feelings when I said I loved him.."
Deku looked me in the eye.
"Why do you think that?" He said. I started to play with his hair to calm myself down.
"He moved away from me when I tried to hug him earlier" I said.
"Maybe he just wanted to be alone for a bit?" Deku suggested.
"Yeah, maybe.. Thanks..Izuku...your a good friend and a good listener, I really appreciate you" I said.
"I'm always here for you" he said, looking me right in the eyes. I suddenly giggled.
"Your hairs so soft!!" I said. Deku laughed.
"That's what everyone says"
Kirishima's POV
I went to go find the only person, other than Bakugo who knew I cut, and about my past. I knocked on Denki's dorm door. He opened it.
"Hey Kiri" he said, looking concerned. "What's wrong" he said closing the dorm door and pulled me into a hug on the bed.
"Bakugo found me cutting in the bathroom and tried hug me and I got scared and thought he was gonna hit me so I moved away and he left and now I don't think he loves me!" I said quickly.
"I'm sure he loves you still, maybe he thought you wanted to be alone, so he wanted to give you space" Denki said.
"Maybe.." I said. "Oh and another thing..." I added.
"what is it?" Denki asked, putting his arms around my waist.
"he's been telling Midoriya alot of stuff and Im sure he's happier and trusts Midoriya more.." I said. Denki got what I was saying.
"Deku is with Todoroki, and Bakugo and Deku would never cheat. Besides like us, Bakugo and Deku are best friends, would you tell Bakugo what you just told me?" Denki said.
"No, I wouldn't" I said.
"And why not? Because you don't trust him?" Denki asked.
"No... I don't know, I just wouldn't" I said.
"Exactly, there's some things you'll say to your best friend, but not to your boyfriend" Denki said.
"Your right" I said. "Thank you"
~Time skip to the next night~
Bakugo's POV
I was glad Deku was helping me and that he gave me advice but, I still couldn't help it. I grabbed my blade and pulled up the leg of my pants. I cut over 30 times on each thigh. I stopped and realized what I just did. I wanted to go talk to Deku but didn't want to annoy him. Just then, Deku opened the door. I panicked but there was no point in hiding it. He didn't say anything, he just closed the door, grabbed some rubbing alcohol and cleaned the cuts out, and put bandages on the, then hugged me tight.
"i had a feeling i should've come over" he said.
"I'm glad you did." I said, and started to tear up. "thanks for caring about me...even after I bullied you for so long." I said.
"I'll always care. And please don't hesitate to come to me." He said.
"I didn't want to annoy you with my problems.." I said, starting to cry.
"Hey.." He said gently, "you'll never annoy me, I care and want to help you okay?"
"Okay.." I said.
"Kacchan.. Is it okay if I stay with you tonight? To help you feel better?" Deku asked.
"Yes, I'd actually really like that if you did" I mumbled. I put my arms around him. I was so happy I had such a caring friend.
~Time skip~
After class the next day, I went to go out of class.
"Move it, half and half" I snapped at Todoroki. He moved without saying anything.
Todoroki's POV
"Move it half and half" Bakugo snapped. Izuku told me Bakugo's been having a rough time, and I knew it was true because I saw and heard Bakugo crying in the bathroom, so instead of snapping back like normal, I gave a small smile and moved away from the door.
"Sorry! I didn't realize I was in your way!" I said. Unlike normal, Bakugo said,
"It's okay. Thank you for moving" and walked away.
Kirishima's POV
I sat next to Denki at lunch but I wasn't eating anything.
"Eat please" he said.
"I'm not hungry" I said.
"Bullshit" Denki said. "You haven't eaten in almost a week"
"Cos I'm fat." I muttered, but everyone heard. Bakugo looked mad.
"You are not fat, Kiri" Denki said.
"Denki can we talk alone?" I whispered. He nodded and we got up and left.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Katsuki- I mean, Bakugo, he looked angry when I said I was fat" I said.
"Yes, because I don't like hearing you talk shit about yourself and bringing yourself down with lies, you are NOT fat, Kirishima" He said and walked away before we could say anything.
"He called me Kirishima instead of the nicknames he usually does" I said and started to cry.
Bakugo's POV
"He called me Kirishima instead of the nicknames he usually does" I heard Kirishima say and start to cry.
Damn it. I made him cry. I thought. I wanted to cut but I knew I shouldn't. I found Deku finishing lunch. I tapped him on the shoulder, crying not caring that Todoroki was seeing my crying and asking Deku for help. He looked at me.
"Kacchan, what's wrong"
"I'm a bad boyfriend" I said. "I didn't know that me calling Kirishima cute nicknames meant so much to him, but he started to cry when I called him Kirishima" I said. I thought Deku would speak but it was Todoroki who spoke.
"But it was a accident, right? Since it was only a accident, that doesn't make you a bad boyfriend." He said.
"Thanks, half and half- I mean, Todoroki." I said. And then I walked away.
This relationship is not going well, I don't think either of us are willing to let the other person help, so it's not a stable relationship. I thought.
Kirishima's POV
I was talking to Denki like always.
"This relationship is not going well, I don't think either of us are willing to let the other person help, so it's not a stable relationship" I said.
"Sit him down and tell him that's how you feel, I'm sure he'll understand." Denki advised me. I nodded.
"Good idea" I got up. "I'm going to find him really quick" I left and went to find Bakugo. He was talking to Momo so I waited.
"Okay. I just noticed you acting differently so I thought I'd check in on you, just know if you ever need anything, I'm here for you" She said. Bakugo smiled.
"Thank you, Yaoyorozu" he said. She nodded and walked off. Even though I was nervous, I walked up to Bakugo. "Katsuki, we need to talk" I said firmly, I thought about the other tips Denki had told me.
"Okay. Lets go to my dorm" Bakugo said.
When we go to his dorm, we sat on his bed.
"What do you want to talk about?" He asked.
I took a deep breath. "Look, I love you, alot, more than anything, but for some reason, you wont trust me, you wont talk to me about your problems, you always go to Midoriya"
Bakugo flared up.
"I DON'T TRUST YOU?? YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME. AND I LOVE YOU BUT IM NOT SURE YOU LOVE ME! I DO TRUST YOU, BUT I DON'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS AND I DON'T WANNA PUSH MY PROBLEMS ON YOU AND MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR YOU, SO I GO TO DEKU BECAUSE WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS!! AND I CARE ABOUT YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU CUTTING AND THEN YOU MOVE AWAY WHEN I TRY TO COMFORT YOU" Bakugo shouted.
I stood up and started shouting back.
"I MOVED AWAY BECAUSE I WAS SCARED! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HIT ME LIKE MY PARENTS"
Bakugo's POV
"Eij.. I'd never hurt you on purpose.." I said gently. He kept shouting at me, but I let him shout, because I could tell he's been bottling up a bunch of anger and sadness.
"AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? I LOVE YOU, SO MUCH THAT I DROP ALL MY PROBLEMS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. AND I'LL GO THROUGH HELL JUST TO SEE YOU HAPPY."
I sat there tears sliding down my face.
"The only thing that makes me happy is being with you and seeing you happy. I want to make me happy" I said. I saw Kirishima was crying as well.
"YOU WANT TO MAKE ME HAPPY?? THEN TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS! TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG AND LET ME HELP! I JUST WANT TO HELP!!" he shouted. I stood up.
"I COULD SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU" I shouted back.
Kirishima laid face down on his bed and started sobbing. I grabbed him and put him on my lap.
"Please, Eijiro, can we just promise to come to each other with our problems and let each other help?" I said. He nodded and kept crying. I looked him in the eye.
"I love you. More than anyone or anything." I said, firmly to make sure he knew I wasn't lying.
"I love you too..Katsuki" He said. I held him close to me.
~Time skip, couple weeks after the fight~
I sat with Kirishima, Sero, Mina and Denki in Mina's dorm. Kirishima had his head resting in my lap and i was playing with his hair.
"I'm excited to go home for the break" Sero said. "What about you guys?"
"I'm gonna miss Shinso but yes, it'll be fun to go home." Denki said.
"awwwwwww, Denki is gonna miss his purple haired brainwashing machine" I teased. Denki blushed. And I laughed. So did Kirishima.
"I guess I'm excited to go home." I said. "Im really gonna miss Kiri though"
Kirishima looked at me.
"Imma miss you too Baku" he said. I smiled at him.
"AWWWWWWW YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE" Mina squealed. Kirishima blushed. I laughed and rolled my eyes. Denki and Sero were also laughing. It felt good to laugh with a group of friends again. I was going to miss them while I was at home.
~Time skip to where they are all at home~
I walked down stairs to get a snack.
"Really Katsuki?" She said.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you really need to eat right now?" She asked. She poked my stomach. "I think your getting a bit chubby"
She was probably right. I guess I should go awhile without eating. She poked my stomach again, she didn't know I cut and she most definitely didn't know I cut my stomach, so when I flinched she she poked my stomach, she lifted up my shirt and saw the cuts.
"What's this Katsuki?" She asked.
"Nothing" I said quickly pushing my shirt down. She hit the back of my head.
"stupid boy" She snapped. I ran upstairs. I found the blade I packed. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Like always, when something hurt my feelings, I cut. I kept cutting until I realized how many cuts I made on my wrist, stomach and thighs. I cover it with bandages and hoped Kirishima wouldn't notice when I got back.
Kirishima's POV
I was so happy. Break was ending tomorrow and I'd get to see Bakugo tomorrow. I was so excited that I was already packed.
"Eijiro!!" My mom called.
"Yes?" I said, coming out of my room. She held up the the rainbow pride flag I had been hiding in my room.
"Your GAY?" she snarled
"um." I knew there was no point in lying. "yes" I said. My mom slapped me across the face.
"How do you know?" She asked.
"Because I have a boyfriend" I said. She smacked me again. I could tell there was gonna be a red mark or bruise and I knew Bakugo was going to be worried.
"You think I'd believe that" She said. "No one would love you! Your fat, and annoying, not to mention clingy and selfish. You don't even have a cool quirk" She rolled her eyes and stomped out of the room. She was right. I went to my room, locked the door and pulled out my blade.
~Time skip to back to school~
When I got back to school, there was still a bruise from my mom hitting me. I walked to Bakugo's dorm. He looked up at my.
"Eijiro!" He said excitedly. He then looked concerned.
"What happened?" He asked gently touching the bruise on my cheek.
"I tripped down the stairs" I lied.
"Your lying" He said.
"What?" I said.
"you don't look me in the eye when you lie, so I know your lying" He said. He closed the dorm door. He wrapped his arms around my waist.
"What really happened" He asked. I shouldn't lie to him.
"My mom hit me because I'm gay" I mumbled. "Then I told her I had a boy friend and she said, and I quote 'No one would love you! Your fat, and annoying, not to mention clingy and selfish. You don't even have a cool quirk' so that's what happened."
Bakugo looked at me. "I love you, your not fat and your not selfish. And I like it when your clingy, it makes me feel like you want me and you have an amazing quirk"
Bakugo's POV
I looked at Kirishima. I knew if his mom said that stuff to him and hit him, that he obviously would have cut. I rolled up the sleeves of his jacket.
"Eij.." I said concerned. I took him into the bathroom. I cleaned out his cuts and put new bandages.
"Baby, did you cut anywhere else?" I asked.
"Just my thighs" he whispered. I rolled up his pant legs and cleaned out those cuts too. I went to set the bandages on the counter, when my shirt got caught on something and lifted. I pushed my shirt down quickly and hoped Kirishima didn't see. Unfortunately he did. He came to me and took my shirt off, revealing my stomach and my wrists. I bit my lip. I was scared of his reaction but he just did the same thing I did to him, cleaned out my cuts and put bandages on. Then he looked at my thighs and cleaned those out too. After that, he wrapped his arms around me.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Just my mom" I whispered. He look at me. I looked at the ground. I didn't want to cry right now, but I did. I could feel Kirishima crying next to me.
"I love you Katsuki" he whispered. "And it's okay if you don't love me back"
"Eijiro.." I said, pulling him onto my lap. I stroked his hair and said, "No matter what anyone says, I love you, so so so so much, and to me, your perfect in every way"
~Time skip to next day~
I sat at lunch, but didn't eat anything.
"Katsuki, please eat." Kirishima said. I shook my head.
"I'll eat if you eat" Kirishima said. I really didn't want to eat but Kirishima needed to eat, so I started to eat.
Kirishima's POV
I sighed. I hated the idea of eating but I knew it was the only way to get Bakugo to eat, and so I started to eat when he did. When I finished eating, I did what I did every time I actually ate. I forced myself to throw it up, and went back to training. While I was training I felt light headed, so I told mr. Aizawa, he told Bakugo to take me to get a drink of water and eat something.
"Eijiro.. I need you to be honest, okay, Did you force yourself to throw up your lunch today?" He asked me. I didn't want to lie.
"Yes, I did" I said looking at the floor. He looked at me.
"Baby, that's bad for you, please don't do it again" he said. I nodded.
"O-okay" I said. I really didn't want to agree but I really wanted Bakugo to be happy. I looked at him. He's my boyfriend but I still felt nervous as I leaned forward and kissed him. He put his arms around my waist and kissed back. After a minute, I pulled away.
"I love you" I said.
"I love you too" he said, and I know he meant it when he said that.
~Time skip to that night~
I laid in bed. When I heard a knock at my door. I opened it. It was Bakugo.
"Hey!" I said.
"Sorry. Did I wake you?" He asked.
"Nope. What's up?" I said, pulling him in and closing the door. He sighed.
"I'm feeling suicidal again." He said. I was SO glad he was being honest and open with me. I pulled him onto my lap. And put my arms around him.
"Why?" I asked.
"Just..things that..someone..is saying..makes me feel like, I'm not good enough, and that I shouldn't be alive and that I'm not a good person" He said.
"Hey.. None of that is true. You are amazing and perfect. You are good enough, you are more than enough and I love you so much, that I will hurt anyone who says anything mean to you." I said. He smiled at me then buried his face in my neck, crying. I just sat there rubbing his back. I started to play with his hair and started giggling. Bakugo started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked while giggling.
"I don't know, because you are?" He said laughing. We both were laughing hysterically by now.
"I don't even know why I'm laughing" I said and that just made us laugh harder. Once we stopped laughing, Bakugo looked at me.
"Your so cute." He said. I blushed.
"Noooo. Your the cute one" I said.
~Time Skip to next morning~
Bakugo's POV
I woke up, and looked around. I was laying with Kirishima.
"that's right! I fell asleep with Kirishima." I thought. It was a Saturday so I felt no need to wake him up, so I just laid there and cuddled up to my sleeping boyfriend. Kirishima's phone buzzed. I looked at it. It was a text from his mom. It said. "If you really have a boyfriend, bring him over for the week long break that's happening in two days." I looked at the four digit pass code. I typed in 0816. It unlocked.
"Typical Eijiro, using his birthday as the password" I thought with a laugh. I grabbed my phone and asked my mom if I could stay with a friend over the break when she replied "Yes" I replied to Kirishima's mom. "Okay, I'll invite him over" right as I pushed send, Kirishima woke up.
"Katsuki! What are you doing on my phone?" He asked.
"Texting your mom" I said.
"What?" He said snatching his phone. Ye read what his mom said than read what I said.
"Seriously??" Kirishima said, angrily.
"Sorry.." I said.
"It's okay" He said. "At least I'll get to spend break with you"
I fake smiled "Yeah"
"Don't fake smile at me. I promise I'm not mad at you" He said frantically.
"Okay okay" I said and got up and walked to my dorm. I had a feeling he was mad at me. Deku knocked on my door and peeked in.
"Hey nerd" I said, but not in my usual mean tone.
"Just coming to say hi and make sure your alright" Deku said.
"yes, I'm alright." I said "Thanks for checking on me" Deku nodded and walked away. I closed my door. I made Kirishima mad. I grabbed my blade and held it against my wrist.
~Time skip~
Kirishima knocked on my door. I knew it was Kirishima just by the way he knocked. I put the bandage back on. I didn't mean to cut as deep as I did and I kept bleeding through bandages. I opened the door.
"Hopefully he doesn't notice." I thought as I pulled my jacket sleeve down. He noticed. He pushed my sleeve up and peeled the bandage off.
"Katsuki!!" He said. "That's really deep!"
"As if you care!" I snap and pull my arm away from him. He looked hurt.
"What?" He said quietly. "Of course I care!"
"No you don't!! Why don't you go find Dunce Face?? He makes you happier than I make you. You seem to want him more than you want me" I snapped not knowing why I was saying that stuff.
"What no he doesn't, he's just my best friend! That's all!" He said looking hurt. Then he snapped back. "Why don't you go find Midoriya?? He makes you happier than I make you. You seem to want him more than you want me"
I stood in shock and felt really hurt because it wasn't true. Then I realized that was probably how he felt when I said that to him. Or not because he probably did want to date Denki more than he wanted to date me. I pushed him out of my dorm and closed and locked the door, picking my blade up and cutting my thighs.
Kirishima's POV
I walked to Denki's dorm. I couldn't see very well because I was crying more than I've cried in so long. I knocked and Denki opened it.
"Hey" he said then saw me. "What happened!!" He gasped at seeing how hard I was crying. He pulled me onto his bed, kicking his door closed and hugging me tight. I was crying so hard I could barely breath at this point. My phone buzzed. "Hey, family issue, can't come to your house over break, sorry" I started to gasp for air and cry more, because I knew what was a lie. Denki went and grabbed me a water bottle. After about a hour of cuddles, I was calm enough to be able to talk to Denki about me and Bakugo's fight. Denki gave me more cuddles.
"I think that you guys should break up, just because neither of you are mentally stable enough for a relationship."
"That's a good idea" I said. Just then Aizawa opened the door.
"Hey, just telling everyone your allowed to stay at the dorms this break if you'd like" he said then closed the door and left. "Well I sure as hell am staying here" I said.
"Would you like me to stay as well?" Denki asked. "I don't have any family plans"
"If you want to, I'd love for you to stay" I said. I got up.
"I'm going to find Bakugo" I said.
Bakugo's POV.
Kirishima knocked on my door. I opened it.
"We need to talk, but I'll make it quick." He said. Before I could say anything he said, "I want to break up"
I was shocked. "O-okay" I said and nodded. He nodded back and left. I walked down the hallway crying hard. I ran into Todoroki.
"Hey do you know where Deku is?" I asked him.
"I think he went home for break already, sorry" Todoroki said.
"Damn it okay thanks" I said. I walked to Momo's dorm. I knocked on the door. She opened it.
"You busy?" I asked.
"No, what's going on?" She asked, closing the door behind us.
"Kirishima broke up with me." I said between sobs. Momo gave me a hug. Maybe it was because she was like the mom of class 1-A but I felt so comforted by her hug.
"And I don't know why, maybe its because of our fight earlier, maybe he doesn't love me anymore, maybe I wasn't good enough or maybe I did something wrong, or I don't know and he was the one person I loved" I said crying into momo's shoulder. After a few hours of Momo reassuring me and making me feel better, I finally got up.
"Thank you for being so nice and caring" I said, gratefully.
"No problem, I'm always here for you" she said.
"Thanks, imma go now" I said and left.
~Time skip after break~
I heard a knock on the door. I opened it. It was Uraraka and Deku. They both gave me a hug.
"We heard you and Kirishima split up, so we just wanted to give you a hug and say your always welcome with our friend group at lunch" Deku said.
"Thank you guys" I said and we all walked to class together.
~time skip to lunch~
Instead of going to my normal table and sat next to Uraraka.
"Hey guys" I said.
"Hey!" Uraraka, Deku and Tsu said.
"Hello, Bakugo" Iida said.
"Hello!" Todoroki said.
Lunch went great. I honestly had alot more fun with Deku's friends than I expected to have. They told pretty good jokes for a group of people that I thought were just nerds. After lunch, they even invited me to join them in there game night. I laughed and said yes, feeling happy that they were so quick to love and except my into their friend group.
~Time skip to that night~
I walked to Deku's dorm. I knocked. He opened it.
"Hey Kacchan" Deku said.
"Hey, can we sleep together tonight? Im having anxiety and I don't have Kirishima to help me." I said.
"Of course!" Deku said. He closed the door and pulled me onto bed and started cuddling me.
~Time skip a few weeks~
3rd POV
After a few weeks, Kirishima and Bakugo were missing each other. Kirishima felt both of them were more mental stable after a few week break. Kirishima walked to Bakugo.
"Hey can we talk?" He asked.
"Sure." Bakugo shrugged.
"I broke up with you, because I wasn't ready for a relationship, but now I am, so I wanted to know, could we try again, and can you give me a second chance to be good enough for you?" He asked. Bakugo looked shocked.
"You were always good enough but, can I think about it?" He asked.
"Sure." Kirishima nodded.
A few hours later, like every Thursday night, Bakugo went to Uraraka's dorm.
Bakugo's POV
After playing a few games,
"Kirishima asked me to get back with him" I said. "I miss him, but I don't want the fights again, or either of us feeling not good enough for the other, any advice?"
"Maybe do it, if you both miss each other, and if something like this happens again, take another couple week break from the relationship but if it happens again after that, break up for good" Uraraka said. Everyone agreed. I nodded.
"I'm going to go find Kirishima."
"Okay. Just know your always welcome at game night" Deku said.
"And at our table at lunch" Todoroki added.
"Thanks guys!" I said.
I walked up to Kirishima.
"Hey. I'd like to get back together" I said. Kirishima smiled.
"I'm glad. You make me really happy" he said.
"You make me happy too" I said, leaning forward and kissing him.
A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading! I'm pretty proud of this. I will add more chapters, sorry, I thought this would be short, but it was very long, my other ones wont be this long. I'm just lacking inspiration right now, but I'm currently reading some fan fictions on other sites so I can hopefully get more inspiration. I hope you enjoyed my story!
This might be short. I sometimes lose motivation for stories fast lol, this is also my first story so please don't hate, please excuse any grammar errors and stuff, I'm trying my best since this is my first story. Sorry, this is probably not great and probably really short
This is a story where Bakugo has anxiety and depression and Kirishima is depressed
Now without further ado, lets go.
Ships this contains and/or talks about:
Kiribaku
Tododeku
Slight Shinkami
Slight Momojiro
Platonic Bakudeku
Platonic KiriKami
Kirishima's POV
It was a normal day at home. Mom hit me and dad called me fat. I knew dad was right, I was fat, which is why I planned on not eating. I was lucky to go back to the dorms tomorrow.
I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I sat in the corner of my bathroom thinking about all the things that I have been called in my life.
"Whore" "slut" "bitch" "liar" "attention seeker" "fat" "ugly" all ran through my head. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't help it. I grabbed my blade, and started to cut. After almost 20 cuts on each wrist I stopped and realized I'd have to wear a long sleeve shirt for awhile so no one questioned. I grabbed my bandages and wrapped my wrists up, then quickly ran too my room and changed into a long sleeve shirt.
"Eijiro!" My mom yelled up the stairs. I hid my blade in my jacket pocket so I could take it to the UA dorms with me. I quickly ran downstairs.
"Why'd you change?" My mom asked.
Oh shit I thought.
"O-oh! I accidentally spilt my food on my shirt" I lied. My mom nodded. I didn't know if that mean she believed me or not.
"Anyways, Eijiro, I wanted to talk to you" She said. I panicked. There was lots of things I've been hiding from her.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to hide my worry.
"I've been finding sharp things all over your room lately and so I need to talk to you about that, if you don't clean your room you or someone else might get hurt" she said, then walked away. I just stood there.
~Times skip, two days~
I sat at lunch with Bakugo, Mina, Sero and Denki. I didn't want to but I knew it would be suspicious if I didn't.
"Holy Shit, Kiri!! How can you wear that jacket? It's like 92 degrees!" Denki said.
Fuck I thought.
"Eh, I'm cold. I think I'm sick because I'm cold. I'm gonna go see the nurse" I lied, getting up and throwing away my food that I hadn't even touched. I walked to my dorm.
Bakugo's POV
When Kirishima walked away from the table, I felt my stomach hurt and and my breathing changed.
"Why now! And why even in general, damn it." I thought. I wasn't anxious about anything so why was I having a anxiety attack. I didn't know but I had to get out of there as, like normal, I was about to cry from the pain of my stomach hurting because the anxiety was making it hard to breathe.
"I have to pee!" I said and ran from the cafeteria, to the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in the stall and let myself cry. I heard a knock at the stall.
"Bakugo?" I heard Kirishima say.
"What shitty hair?" I snapped, tears streaming down my face.
"Open please, I know your not going to the bathroom." He said. There was no point in lying. I could trust him, right? He was my friend after all, and maybe he could help, and I hated to admit it, even to myself, I really needed help.
I opened the stall down, and once Kirishima saw me in tears he gave me a big hug.
"Bakugo..what's wrong?" He said gently, rubbing my back. It was really calming me down
"anxiety.." I whispered. Kirishima hugged me tighter. I knew he cared about me and that I was really calming me down, but i was still gasping for air because I couldn't breathe. I looked at my phone. We were late for class.
"Sorry Kirishima, I made you late" I said.
"It's fine. I want to be here for you, even if I'm late." Kirishima whispered wrapping his arms around my waist. I smiled at him and he smiled back. But I noticed, he wasn't really smiling. His mouth was smiling but his eyes were dull and empty.
I looked at him.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded and fake smiled.
Kirishima's POV
I had my arms around Bakugo's waist. We just stood there, disregarding the fact we were late to class.
"Are you okay?" Bakugo asked me. I nodded and fake smiled. It hurt me to lie to Bakugo about me being abused by my parents, and my depression, after he'd been so honest with me about his anxiety. I felt bad that I'd never noticed he'd had anxiety, and that I wasn't there for him. I knew I'd have to cut after class, as punishment for not always being there for Bakugo, and for lying to him.
"You okay now." I asked. He nodded and wiped his eyes. I let go of his waist and we walked to class. When we walked in, Mr. Aizawa looked up. "See me after class, boys" was all he said.
~Time skip, after class~
When everyone left class, Mr. Aizawa looked at us.
"Why were you late?" He asked. Bakugo looked at the floor.
"It's my fault, I was sick so Bakugo was taking care of me." I said quickly, knowing Bakugo wouldn't want to talk about his anxiety.
Mr. Aizawa sighed. "Don't let it happen again!" He said then waved us out of the classroom.
I ran to my dorm and locked the door. I grabbed my blade from under my lamp. I looked at my wrists. There was no where on there to cut, so I pulled up the legs of my pants, and cut my thighs. I heard a knock on the door. I panicked. I dropped my blade and pulled my pant legs down. I opened the door. It was Bakugo.
"Hey, Kirishima, I just wanted to say, thanks for helping me calm down earlier-" he stopped talking and looked at my thighs, it bleed through my pants already.
He saw the blade on the ground. He picked it up. I grabbed it from him and went to close the door. He stopped it with his foot.
"Eijiro..." He said pushing the door open. I took a step back and tried to cover my thighs with my hand, I started to cry.
Bakugo's POV
I looked at the blade that I found on Kirishima's floor. I looked at Kirishima backing away from me, crying while trying to cover his pants that had blood all over them.
"Eijiro..." I said, attempting not to cry. "Are you cutting?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded and sat in the corner. I dropped the blade and ran from the room, crying. I bumped into Denki on the way. He looked at me.
"Bakubro, are you okay?"
"Shut it dunce face" I yelled, although, I appreciated him asking if I was okay. Before I ran off, I gave him a big hug, while still crying.
"I love you, you were a true friend" I said, and ran off, leaving a confused Denki standing there. I ran to my dorm, forgot to lock the door. I grabbed my pill bottle. I'd been feeling suicidal for along time, but today was the last straw. I couldn't believe that Kirishima didn't trust me. I couldn't believe I was such a bad friend that Kirishima wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I grabbed the note I wrote to my friends, and then I swallowed the last 26 pills left.
Denki's POV.
I knew what was happening. I knew Bakugo was suicidal based off a paper I found in his room, I didn't say anything but now I wish I had. I grabbed Mina's hand, and didn't try to find the rest of our friends, we didn't have time. Mina was confused.
"Denki what the hell" she said.
"I don't have time to explain!!" I shouted dragging her to Bakugo's dorm. I opened Bakugo's door, luckily it was unlocked. I ran to Bakugo and feel to my knees in tears. Mina was confused.
"MINA!! GO FIND SERO, KIRISHIMA AND MIDORIYA." I yelled. Mina very confused, did what I said.
I cried next to Bakugo, who was laying on the floor. I took the note and pill bottle from his hands and put my hands in Bakugo's.
"Katsuki..." I cried. "Please don't die...I need you..your the one who always pushed me to do better, your the one who made me laugh... Your my best friend and we have had so many good times.." I said sobbing. I could tell Bakugo was still alive for now, and he could hear me. Mina, Sero, Midoriya and Kirishima ran in.
~Time skip to after Bakugo is in the hospital and Midoriya, Denki, Sero, Mina and Kirishima are all in Bakugos dorm crying~
Midoriya picked up the note.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Read it, I already did" I said crying, thinking about how Bakugo hugged me and said he loved me in the hall.
Midoriya read it, then Mina, then Sero and after Kirishima read it, he got up and ran from the room.
Kirishima's POV
I read the note that Denki told me to read.
Dear friends, (even you Izuku)
I'm sorry that it has to be this way but your better with me dead.
I love all of you and sorry for everything I've done mean to you.
I appreciate everything you've ever done for me.
I'm so sorry I wasn't a good enough friend, and I'm so sorry for always insulting you.
Thank you for everything.
I love you guys, stay safe, stay happy.
Your friend,
KATSUKI
I realized that Bakugo trying to kill himself was MY fault, if I hadn't lied to him, he wouldn't have done this. I dropped the note and went to my dorm. I sat on my bed and sobbed. I wanted to cut but I didn't because I knew someone was gonna come after me and I didn't want anyone to know I cut. Sure enough Denki came in.
"Hey.." He said softly. He came over and hugged me. "I know your sad.."
"No shit! Of course I'm sad!! My best friend just tried to kill himself and I'm 98% sure its MY fault!" I shouted at Denki then started to cry more. "Sorry for yelling"
"it's fine..." Denki whispered. "and I'M 100% sure this isn't your fault" Denki said, still crying. After lots of crying, we were all tired. Mina, Sero and Midoriya came in. "Sleepover, no one can say no. After what happened, no one can be alone until we know if Bakugo is okay, I don't want any more suicide attempts, lets go, my dorm" Mina said. I honestly was okay with that. I didn't want to be alone right now. Denki grabbed my hands and pulled me up.
"I have the best friends, their so nice and caring." I thought.
We spent the night at Mina's dorm.
~Time Skip, to two days later~
Were sitting in class, like usual on a normal Tuesday afternoon. Mina still wasn't letting Me, Sero, Denki or Midoriya anywhere alone. The door the the class opened. Bakugo stood there looking at the floor. Only Me, Denki, Mina, Sero, Midoriya and Mr. Aizawa knew what really happened, everyone else was told that Bakugo got hurt during training.
"Welcome back, Bakugo" Mr. Aizawa said, and nodded at him. Bakugo fake smiled. I was really worried about Bakugo but I wouldn't be able to see him because I had detention today.
~Time skip to night time after detention~
I walked to my dorm. I was sad I didn't get to see Bakugo but I knew I'd see him tomorrow. Before I went to bed I heard a knock at my door. I opened it and saw Bakugo. He looked at the ground.
"Uhm..hey.." He said quietly. I pulled him in, closed the door, and pushed him on my bed and cuddled him.
"Oh my god!!" I said trying to not scream.
"umm..." Bakugo said, confused by the random cuddles.
"Sorry-" I said and moved away from him. He grabbed me by the waist.
"You are not leaving" he said and cuddled me.
"Good. I didn't want to" I said and cuddled back. I saw him smile. And I could tell it was a real smile. For the first time in a long time, I smiled a real smile.
Bakugo's POV
I looked at Kirishima's smiling face. He was so cute when he had a real smile. He made me happy just by being around me.
"I love you" I mumbled at him.
Fuck, did I just say that out loud. I thought.
"What?" He said, even though I knew he heard me. Then, I did the stupidest thing ever. I leaned forward and kissed him. I pulled away quickly and said,
"I love you"
Kirishima blushed. "I love you too"
We kept cuddling until we both fell asleep.
~Time skip to two days and they start dating and everyone knows~
I sit in my dorm alone waiting for Bakugo to come over. Once Bakugo came, my phone rang. I answer it. It was from my dad.
"Hey Eijiro" he said.
"Oh! H-hey!" I said.
"Are you eating?" He asked.
"Not really" I said, thinking he cared about my health.
"Good. That'll help you lose weight, until you lose weight I promise no one truly loves you, your too fat to be truly loved" he said. I tried not to cry with Bakugo in the room. I really didn't want my boyfriend to think I'm weak.
"Right." I said and hung up.
I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I grabbed my blade. I needed to do this, I just had to make sure Bakugo didn't notice. I rolled up my sleeves and started cutting.
Bakugo's POV
I walked to the door.
"Eij..you in there?" I asked. He looked sad when he got off the phone so I wanted to check on him. There was no answer but i knew he was in there. I grabbed the key to the bathroom and unlocked the door.
I saw him on the floor, blade in his hand, blood on his wrist and tears flowing down his face.
I ran over to him and hugged him, almost crying.
"Eijiro!!" I said, worried. He tried to move away from me. I knew it. He was moving away because he didn't really love me. He only said he loved me because I said it first and he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
"I'm sorry Katsuki.."
I let go of him. And ran out. I decided to talk to the person who I knew would give me advice and not judge me. I went and knocked on Deku's dorm door. He opened it.
"Are you busy?" I asked.
"Nope. What's up Kacchan?" He said.
"I need to talk to someone who won't judge me and someone who will just listen and care for me, so I came to you" I said. Deku nodded. He pulled me in his room and shut the door.
"What's up" He said. I sat on the floor and he sat in front of me.
"Well..dont tell anyone about this talk" I said.
"What's said and done in this room, stays between us" he promised. I smiled, glad I had such a sweet childhood friend.
"it's Kirishima..he was cutting in the bathroom...and I feel like because he did that, that I'm not a good enough boyfriend." I said, starting to cry more. Deku gave me a hug.
"Hey hey hey, don't think your a bad boyfriend..its not your fault that he was cutting, all you need to do, is be there for him, and that's what makes you a good boyfriend, let him know you care about him and that your always there for him" Deku said, rubbing my back. I hugged him back and cried more,
"I don't think he really loves me.. I think he just didn't want to hurt my feelings when I said I loved him.."
Deku looked me in the eye.
"Why do you think that?" He said. I started to play with his hair to calm myself down.
"He moved away from me when I tried to hug him earlier" I said.
"Maybe he just wanted to be alone for a bit?" Deku suggested.
"Yeah, maybe.. Thanks..Izuku...your a good friend and a good listener, I really appreciate you" I said.
"I'm always here for you" he said, looking me right in the eyes. I suddenly giggled.
"Your hairs so soft!!" I said. Deku laughed.
"That's what everyone says"
Kirishima's POV
I went to go find the only person, other than Bakugo who knew I cut, and about my past. I knocked on Denki's dorm door. He opened it.
"Hey Kiri" he said, looking concerned. "What's wrong" he said closing the dorm door and pulled me into a hug on the bed.
"Bakugo found me cutting in the bathroom and tried hug me and I got scared and thought he was gonna hit me so I moved away and he left and now I don't think he loves me!" I said quickly.
"I'm sure he loves you still, maybe he thought you wanted to be alone, so he wanted to give you space" Denki said.
"Maybe.." I said. "Oh and another thing..." I added.
"what is it?" Denki asked, putting his arms around my waist.
"he's been telling Midoriya alot of stuff and Im sure he's happier and trusts Midoriya more.." I said. Denki got what I was saying.
"Deku is with Todoroki, and Bakugo and Deku would never cheat. Besides like us, Bakugo and Deku are best friends, would you tell Bakugo what you just told me?" Denki said.
"No, I wouldn't" I said.
"And why not? Because you don't trust him?" Denki asked.
"No... I don't know, I just wouldn't" I said.
"Exactly, there's some things you'll say to your best friend, but not to your boyfriend" Denki said.
"Your right" I said. "Thank you"
~Time skip to the next night~
Bakugo's POV
I was glad Deku was helping me and that he gave me advice but, I still couldn't help it. I grabbed my blade and pulled up the leg of my pants. I cut over 30 times on each thigh. I stopped and realized what I just did. I wanted to go talk to Deku but didn't want to annoy him. Just then, Deku opened the door. I panicked but there was no point in hiding it. He didn't say anything, he just closed the door, grabbed some rubbing alcohol and cleaned the cuts out, and put bandages on the, then hugged me tight.
"i had a feeling i should've come over" he said.
"I'm glad you did." I said, and started to tear up. "thanks for caring about me...even after I bullied you for so long." I said.
"I'll always care. And please don't hesitate to come to me." He said.
"I didn't want to annoy you with my problems.." I said, starting to cry.
"Hey.." He said gently, "you'll never annoy me, I care and want to help you okay?"
"Okay.." I said.
"Kacchan.. Is it okay if I stay with you tonight? To help you feel better?" Deku asked.
"Yes, I'd actually really like that if you did" I mumbled. I put my arms around him. I was so happy I had such a caring friend.
~Time skip~
After class the next day, I went to go out of class.
"Move it, half and half" I snapped at Todoroki. He moved without saying anything.
Todoroki's POV
"Move it half and half" Bakugo snapped. Izuku told me Bakugo's been having a rough time, and I knew it was true because I saw and heard Bakugo crying in the bathroom, so instead of snapping back like normal, I gave a small smile and moved away from the door.
"Sorry! I didn't realize I was in your way!" I said. Unlike normal, Bakugo said,
"It's okay. Thank you for moving" and walked away.
Kirishima's POV
I sat next to Denki at lunch but I wasn't eating anything.
"Eat please" he said.
"I'm not hungry" I said.
"Bullshit" Denki said. "You haven't eaten in almost a week"
"Cos I'm fat." I muttered, but everyone heard. Bakugo looked mad.
"You are not fat, Kiri" Denki said.
"Denki can we talk alone?" I whispered. He nodded and we got up and left.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Katsuki- I mean, Bakugo, he looked angry when I said I was fat" I said.
"Yes, because I don't like hearing you talk shit about yourself and bringing yourself down with lies, you are NOT fat, Kirishima" He said and walked away before we could say anything.
"He called me Kirishima instead of the nicknames he usually does" I said and started to cry.
Bakugo's POV
"He called me Kirishima instead of the nicknames he usually does" I heard Kirishima say and start to cry.
Damn it. I made him cry. I thought. I wanted to cut but I knew I shouldn't. I found Deku finishing lunch. I tapped him on the shoulder, crying not caring that Todoroki was seeing my crying and asking Deku for help. He looked at me.
"Kacchan, what's wrong"
"I'm a bad boyfriend" I said. "I didn't know that me calling Kirishima cute nicknames meant so much to him, but he started to cry when I called him Kirishima" I said. I thought Deku would speak but it was Todoroki who spoke.
"But it was a accident, right? Since it was only a accident, that doesn't make you a bad boyfriend." He said.
"Thanks, half and half- I mean, Todoroki." I said. And then I walked away.
This relationship is not going well, I don't think either of us are willing to let the other person help, so it's not a stable relationship. I thought.
Kirishima's POV
I was talking to Denki like always.
"This relationship is not going well, I don't think either of us are willing to let the other person help, so it's not a stable relationship" I said.
"Sit him down and tell him that's how you feel, I'm sure he'll understand." Denki advised me. I nodded.
"Good idea" I got up. "I'm going to find him really quick" I left and went to find Bakugo. He was talking to Momo so I waited.
"Okay. I just noticed you acting differently so I thought I'd check in on you, just know if you ever need anything, I'm here for you" She said. Bakugo smiled.
"Thank you, Yaoyorozu" he said. She nodded and walked off. Even though I was nervous, I walked up to Bakugo. "Katsuki, we need to talk" I said firmly, I thought about the other tips Denki had told me.
"Okay. Lets go to my dorm" Bakugo said.
When we go to his dorm, we sat on his bed.
"What do you want to talk about?" He asked.
I took a deep breath. "Look, I love you, alot, more than anything, but for some reason, you wont trust me, you wont talk to me about your problems, you always go to Midoriya"
Bakugo flared up.
"I DON'T TRUST YOU?? YOUR THE ONE WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME. AND I LOVE YOU BUT IM NOT SURE YOU LOVE ME! I DO TRUST YOU, BUT I DON'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS AND I DON'T WANNA PUSH MY PROBLEMS ON YOU AND MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR YOU, SO I GO TO DEKU BECAUSE WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS!! AND I CARE ABOUT YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU CUTTING AND THEN YOU MOVE AWAY WHEN I TRY TO COMFORT YOU" Bakugo shouted.
I stood up and started shouting back.
"I MOVED AWAY BECAUSE I WAS SCARED! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HIT ME LIKE MY PARENTS"
Bakugo's POV
"Eij.. I'd never hurt you on purpose.." I said gently. He kept shouting at me, but I let him shout, because I could tell he's been bottling up a bunch of anger and sadness.
"AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? I LOVE YOU, SO MUCH THAT I DROP ALL MY PROBLEMS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. AND I'LL GO THROUGH HELL JUST TO SEE YOU HAPPY."
I sat there tears sliding down my face.
"The only thing that makes me happy is being with you and seeing you happy. I want to make me happy" I said. I saw Kirishima was crying as well.
"YOU WANT TO MAKE ME HAPPY?? THEN TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS! TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG AND LET ME HELP! I JUST WANT TO HELP!!" he shouted. I stood up.
"I COULD SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU" I shouted back.
Kirishima laid face down on his bed and started sobbing. I grabbed him and put him on my lap.
"Please, Eijiro, can we just promise to come to each other with our problems and let each other help?" I said. He nodded and kept crying. I looked him in the eye.
"I love you. More than anyone or anything." I said, firmly to make sure he knew I wasn't lying.
"I love you too..Katsuki" He said. I held him close to me.
~Time skip, couple weeks after the fight~
I sat with Kirishima, Sero, Mina and Denki in Mina's dorm. Kirishima had his head resting in my lap and i was playing with his hair.
"I'm excited to go home for the break" Sero said. "What about you guys?"
"I'm gonna miss Shinso but yes, it'll be fun to go home." Denki said.
"awwwwwww, Denki is gonna miss his purple haired brainwashing machine" I teased. Denki blushed. And I laughed. So did Kirishima.
"I guess I'm excited to go home." I said. "Im really gonna miss Kiri though"
Kirishima looked at me.
"Imma miss you too Baku" he said. I smiled at him.
"AWWWWWWW YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE" Mina squealed. Kirishima blushed. I laughed and rolled my eyes. Denki and Sero were also laughing. It felt good to laugh with a group of friends again. I was going to miss them while I was at home.
~Time skip to where they are all at home~
I walked down stairs to get a snack.
"Really Katsuki?" She said.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you really need to eat right now?" She asked. She poked my stomach. "I think your getting a bit chubby"
She was probably right. I guess I should go awhile without eating. She poked my stomach again, she didn't know I cut and she most definitely didn't know I cut my stomach, so when I flinched she she poked my stomach, she lifted up my shirt and saw the cuts.
"What's this Katsuki?" She asked.
"Nothing" I said quickly pushing my shirt down. She hit the back of my head.
"stupid boy" She snapped. I ran upstairs. I found the blade I packed. I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Like always, when something hurt my feelings, I cut. I kept cutting until I realized how many cuts I made on my wrist, stomach and thighs. I cover it with bandages and hoped Kirishima wouldn't notice when I got back.
Kirishima's POV
I was so happy. Break was ending tomorrow and I'd get to see Bakugo tomorrow. I was so excited that I was already packed.
"Eijiro!!" My mom called.
"Yes?" I said, coming out of my room. She held up the the rainbow pride flag I had been hiding in my room.
"Your GAY?" she snarled
"um." I knew there was no point in lying. "yes" I said. My mom slapped me across the face.
"How do you know?" She asked.
"Because I have a boyfriend" I said. She smacked me again. I could tell there was gonna be a red mark or bruise and I knew Bakugo was going to be worried.
"You think I'd believe that" She said. "No one would love you! Your fat, and annoying, not to mention clingy and selfish. You don't even have a cool quirk" She rolled her eyes and stomped out of the room. She was right. I went to my room, locked the door and pulled out my blade.
~Time skip to back to school~
When I got back to school, there was still a bruise from my mom hitting me. I walked to Bakugo's dorm. He looked up at my.
"Eijiro!" He said excitedly. He then looked concerned.
"What happened?" He asked gently touching the bruise on my cheek.
"I tripped down the stairs" I lied.
"Your lying" He said.
"What?" I said.
"you don't look me in the eye when you lie, so I know your lying" He said. He closed the dorm door. He wrapped his arms around my waist.
"What really happened" He asked. I shouldn't lie to him.
"My mom hit me because I'm gay" I mumbled. "Then I told her I had a boy friend and she said, and I quote 'No one would love you! Your fat, and annoying, not to mention clingy and selfish. You don't even have a cool quirk' so that's what happened."
Bakugo looked at me. "I love you, your not fat and your not selfish. And I like it when your clingy, it makes me feel like you want me and you have an amazing quirk"
Bakugo's POV
I looked at Kirishima. I knew if his mom said that stuff to him and hit him, that he obviously would have cut. I rolled up the sleeves of his jacket.
"Eij.." I said concerned. I took him into the bathroom. I cleaned out his cuts and put new bandages.
"Baby, did you cut anywhere else?" I asked.
"Just my thighs" he whispered. I rolled up his pant legs and cleaned out those cuts too. I went to set the bandages on the counter, when my shirt got caught on something and lifted. I pushed my shirt down quickly and hoped Kirishima didn't see. Unfortunately he did. He came to me and took my shirt off, revealing my stomach and my wrists. I bit my lip. I was scared of his reaction but he just did the same thing I did to him, cleaned out my cuts and put bandages on. Then he looked at my thighs and cleaned those out too. After that, he wrapped his arms around me.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Just my mom" I whispered. He look at me. I looked at the ground. I didn't want to cry right now, but I did. I could feel Kirishima crying next to me.
"I love you Katsuki" he whispered. "And it's okay if you don't love me back"
"Eijiro.." I said, pulling him onto my lap. I stroked his hair and said, "No matter what anyone says, I love you, so so so so much, and to me, your perfect in every way"
~Time skip to next day~
I sat at lunch, but didn't eat anything.
"Katsuki, please eat." Kirishima said. I shook my head.
"I'll eat if you eat" Kirishima said. I really didn't want to eat but Kirishima needed to eat, so I started to eat.
Kirishima's POV
I sighed. I hated the idea of eating but I knew it was the only way to get Bakugo to eat, and so I started to eat when he did. When I finished eating, I did what I did every time I actually ate. I forced myself to throw it up, and went back to training. While I was training I felt light headed, so I told mr. Aizawa, he told Bakugo to take me to get a drink of water and eat something.
"Eijiro.. I need you to be honest, okay, Did you force yourself to throw up your lunch today?" He asked me. I didn't want to lie.
"Yes, I did" I said looking at the floor. He looked at me.
"Baby, that's bad for you, please don't do it again" he said. I nodded.
"O-okay" I said. I really didn't want to agree but I really wanted Bakugo to be happy. I looked at him. He's my boyfriend but I still felt nervous as I leaned forward and kissed him. He put his arms around my waist and kissed back. After a minute, I pulled away.
"I love you" I said.
"I love you too" he said, and I know he meant it when he said that.
~Time skip to that night~
I laid in bed. When I heard a knock at my door. I opened it. It was Bakugo.
"Hey!" I said.
"Sorry. Did I wake you?" He asked.
"Nope. What's up?" I said, pulling him in and closing the door. He sighed.
"I'm feeling suicidal again." He said. I was SO glad he was being honest and open with me. I pulled him onto my lap. And put my arms around him.
"Why?" I asked.
"Just..things that..someone..is saying..makes me feel like, I'm not good enough, and that I shouldn't be alive and that I'm not a good person" He said.
"Hey.. None of that is true. You are amazing and perfect. You are good enough, you are more than enough and I love you so much, that I will hurt anyone who says anything mean to you." I said. He smiled at me then buried his face in my neck, crying. I just sat there rubbing his back. I started to play with his hair and started giggling. Bakugo started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked while giggling.
"I don't know, because you are?" He said laughing. We both were laughing hysterically by now.
"I don't even know why I'm laughing" I said and that just made us laugh harder. Once we stopped laughing, Bakugo looked at me.
"Your so cute." He said. I blushed.
"Noooo. Your the cute one" I said.
~Time Skip to next morning~
Bakugo's POV
I woke up, and looked around. I was laying with Kirishima.
"that's right! I fell asleep with Kirishima." I thought. It was a Saturday so I felt no need to wake him up, so I just laid there and cuddled up to my sleeping boyfriend. Kirishima's phone buzzed. I looked at it. It was a text from his mom. It said. "If you really have a boyfriend, bring him over for the week long break that's happening in two days." I looked at the four digit pass code. I typed in 0816. It unlocked.
"Typical Eijiro, using his birthday as the password" I thought with a laugh. I grabbed my phone and asked my mom if I could stay with a friend over the break when she replied "Yes" I replied to Kirishima's mom. "Okay, I'll invite him over" right as I pushed send, Kirishima woke up.
"Katsuki! What are you doing on my phone?" He asked.
"Texting your mom" I said.
"What?" He said snatching his phone. Ye read what his mom said than read what I said.
"Seriously??" Kirishima said, angrily.
"Sorry.." I said.
"It's okay" He said. "At least I'll get to spend break with you"
I fake smiled "Yeah"
"Don't fake smile at me. I promise I'm not mad at you" He said frantically.
"Okay okay" I said and got up and walked to my dorm. I had a feeling he was mad at me. Deku knocked on my door and peeked in.
"Hey nerd" I said, but not in my usual mean tone.
"Just coming to say hi and make sure your alright" Deku said.
"yes, I'm alright." I said "Thanks for checking on me" Deku nodded and walked away. I closed my door. I made Kirishima mad. I grabbed my blade and held it against my wrist.
~Time skip~
Kirishima knocked on my door. I knew it was Kirishima just by the way he knocked. I put the bandage back on. I didn't mean to cut as deep as I did and I kept bleeding through bandages. I opened the door.
"Hopefully he doesn't notice." I thought as I pulled my jacket sleeve down. He noticed. He pushed my sleeve up and peeled the bandage off.
"Katsuki!!" He said. "That's really deep!"
"As if you care!" I snap and pull my arm away from him. He looked hurt.
"What?" He said quietly. "Of course I care!"
"No you don't!! Why don't you go find Dunce Face?? He makes you happier than I make you. You seem to want him more than you want me" I snapped not knowing why I was saying that stuff.
"What no he doesn't, he's just my best friend! That's all!" He said looking hurt. Then he snapped back. "Why don't you go find Midoriya?? He makes you happier than I make you. You seem to want him more than you want me"
I stood in shock and felt really hurt because it wasn't true. Then I realized that was probably how he felt when I said that to him. Or not because he probably did want to date Denki more than he wanted to date me. I pushed him out of my dorm and closed and locked the door, picking my blade up and cutting my thighs.
Kirishima's POV
I walked to Denki's dorm. I couldn't see very well because I was crying more than I've cried in so long. I knocked and Denki opened it.
"Hey" he said then saw me. "What happened!!" He gasped at seeing how hard I was crying. He pulled me onto his bed, kicking his door closed and hugging me tight. I was crying so hard I could barely breath at this point. My phone buzzed. "Hey, family issue, can't come to your house over break, sorry" I started to gasp for air and cry more, because I knew what was a lie. Denki went and grabbed me a water bottle. After about a hour of cuddles, I was calm enough to be able to talk to Denki about me and Bakugo's fight. Denki gave me more cuddles.
"I think that you guys should break up, just because neither of you are mentally stable enough for a relationship."
"That's a good idea" I said. Just then Aizawa opened the door.
"Hey, just telling everyone your allowed to stay at the dorms this break if you'd like" he said then closed the door and left. "Well I sure as hell am staying here" I said.
"Would you like me to stay as well?" Denki asked. "I don't have any family plans"
"If you want to, I'd love for you to stay" I said. I got up.
"I'm going to find Bakugo" I said.
Bakugo's POV.
Kirishima knocked on my door. I opened it.
"We need to talk, but I'll make it quick." He said. Before I could say anything he said, "I want to break up"
I was shocked. "O-okay" I said and nodded. He nodded back and left. I walked down the hallway crying hard. I ran into Todoroki.
"Hey do you know where Deku is?" I asked him.
"I think he went home for break already, sorry" Todoroki said.
"Damn it okay thanks" I said. I walked to Momo's dorm. I knocked on the door. She opened it.
"You busy?" I asked.
"No, what's going on?" She asked, closing the door behind us.
"Kirishima broke up with me." I said between sobs. Momo gave me a hug. Maybe it was because she was like the mom of class 1-A but I felt so comforted by her hug.
"And I don't know why, maybe its because of our fight earlier, maybe he doesn't love me anymore, maybe I wasn't good enough or maybe I did something wrong, or I don't know and he was the one person I loved" I said crying into momo's shoulder. After a few hours of Momo reassuring me and making me feel better, I finally got up.
"Thank you for being so nice and caring" I said, gratefully.
"No problem, I'm always here for you" she said.
"Thanks, imma go now" I said and left.
~Time skip after break~
I heard a knock on the door. I opened it. It was Uraraka and Deku. They both gave me a hug.
"We heard you and Kirishima split up, so we just wanted to give you a hug and say your always welcome with our friend group at lunch" Deku said.
"Thank you guys" I said and we all walked to class together.
~time skip to lunch~
Instead of going to my normal table and sat next to Uraraka.
"Hey guys" I said.
"Hey!" Uraraka, Deku and Tsu said.
"Hello, Bakugo" Iida said.
"Hello!" Todoroki said.
Lunch went great. I honestly had alot more fun with Deku's friends than I expected to have. They told pretty good jokes for a group of people that I thought were just nerds. After lunch, they even invited me to join them in there game night. I laughed and said yes, feeling happy that they were so quick to love and except my into their friend group.
~Time skip to that night~
I walked to Deku's dorm. I knocked. He opened it.
"Hey Kacchan" Deku said.
"Hey, can we sleep together tonight? Im having anxiety and I don't have Kirishima to help me." I said.
"Of course!" Deku said. He closed the door and pulled me onto bed and started cuddling me.
~Time skip a few weeks~
3rd POV
After a few weeks, Kirishima and Bakugo were missing each other. Kirishima felt both of them were more mental stable after a few week break. Kirishima walked to Bakugo.
"Hey can we talk?" He asked.
"Sure." Bakugo shrugged.
"I broke up with you, because I wasn't ready for a relationship, but now I am, so I wanted to know, could we try again, and can you give me a second chance to be good enough for you?" He asked. Bakugo looked shocked.
"You were always good enough but, can I think about it?" He asked.
"Sure." Kirishima nodded.
A few hours later, like every Thursday night, Bakugo went to Uraraka's dorm.
Bakugo's POV
After playing a few games,
"Kirishima asked me to get back with him" I said. "I miss him, but I don't want the fights again, or either of us feeling not good enough for the other, any advice?"
"Maybe do it, if you both miss each other, and if something like this happens again, take another couple week break from the relationship but if it happens again after that, break up for good" Uraraka said. Everyone agreed. I nodded.
"I'm going to go find Kirishima."
"Okay. Just know your always welcome at game night" Deku said.
"And at our table at lunch" Todoroki added.
"Thanks guys!" I said.
I walked up to Kirishima.
"Hey. I'd like to get back together" I said. Kirishima smiled.
"I'm glad. You make me really happy" he said.
"You make me happy too" I said, leaning forward and kissing him.
A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading! I'm pretty proud of this. I will add more chapters, sorry, I thought this would be short, but it was very long, my other ones wont be this long. I'm just lacking inspiration right now, but I'm currently reading some fan fictions on other sites so I can hopefully get more inspiration. I hope you enjoyed my story!
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