FicWad

Chapter Three
Fighting Against the Current (being in contradiction to what is popular or expected)
California, June 2014, Summer
The following morning the alarm went off at seven, striking Craig out of a deep, peaceful sleep. He sighed internally, carefully untangling himself from Tweek, and turned it off. Craig yawned and rubbed his eyes as he padded into the bathroom. Tweek stirred as he dimly registered the warmth being taken away from him. He rolled over to fall back asleep on Craig’s side, as was his custom.
Craig came back into the bedroom for his work clothes, and smiled to himself at the sight of Tweek snuggled under the covers on his own side of the bed. Before he left he gently smoothed Tweek’s hair and softly kissed his forehead. A smile spread across Tweek’s sleeping face.
It wasn’t until he was in the car, chewing a piece of toast with peanut butter and jelly as he sat in traffic, that he was suddenly hit with the memory of doing this without Tweek. He turned up the radio and took a sip of tea from his travel cup, trying to push the memories aside.
Craig wakes up as one of Aisha’s roosters crows in the stark early morning sunlight. He shivers under the covers and pulls them tighter around himself. He is wearing every sweater he owns, along with his old hat from childhood.
He can’t be bothered getting into the house early to take a shower before Aisha wakes up and needs the bathroom. He tries to calculate how many days it’s been since his last shower. Wait, what day of the week is it? At least he religiously cleans his teeth three times a day. Chain smoking will make that an attractive option, he sagely thinks to himself.
He sits up, pouring some lukewarm tea he brewed yesterday into a chipped mug and rummaging for his cigarettes. He pops open the little window beside his narrow bed and lights one, blowing the smoke out into the misty morning, pulling the blankets up around his shoulders.
He is sitting on something. He pulls the well-thumbed paperback out from beneath his thigh, and remembers last night.
Burrowed down under the covers, impatiently rubbing the wetness in his eyes as he shone his torch over the pages of Holding the Man, softly speaking to himself in his head the way Tweek would have spoken to him. At some point he had slowly become aware that sometimes the voice he spoke to himself with internally had become a lot closer to Tweak’s than his own.
Imagining being somewhere warm described in the book, like Melbourne or Sydney or – what was that little Italian island they went to? The one that Tim went to without John, at the end after John had -
He has never been much of a reader. But Tweek had loaned it to him the previous summer and insisted he read it. Now he tries to calculate how many times he has read it. Twenty? More? Over and over again.
He knew it was excessive. Sure, you don’t have Netflix or Nintendo out here, but why not try reading something new?
He sticks his hand out the window and stubs out his cigarette on the cold metal. He drops the butt into the little can he keeps. As he wriggles back underneath the covers, he notices the little bloodstains on the sheets. God, your hygiene is really going to Hell, Craig.
Even as he chastises himself for keeping the same unwashed sheets on his bed for months, he knows he won’t change them. Even though he knows it’s shamefully disgusting. You’re shamefully disgusting.
Some days he needs the reminder of how he hurt Tweek, that night when all he had wanted to do was to love him. Some nights he desperately needs a trace of him. They compete for attention and urgency in his head, tangled around each other, their lines becoming indistinct as he stares at the ceiling in the dark, terrified he is going mad.
Maybe I’m already there?
A hard-faced child suddenly ran out in front of Craig and he quickly slammed on the brakes, the car stalling in his haste. He heard whoever was behind him honk irritably, and glanced up as the kid flipped him off before darting away.
The heat made people angry. Plenty of other things made people angry, too, but there was something about California in the summer. People had no patience for anything, despite the laid back beach village image he had been so excited for.
Craig sighed as he turned the key in the ignition and pressed the accelerator. It wasn’t even eight am and it was already about 80 out.
He remembered the midwinter blizzards from when he had lived in his caravan, and the nights when the temperature would drop well below freezing. He was used to the climate after living there all his life, but it was definitely something else when you lived in a metal caravan with no electricity. On a few dark nights he had dimly wondered if freezing to death was a real possibility. He suffered from mild hypothermia a few times, resignedly becoming accustomed to the symptoms.
One night he had woken suddenly after falling asleep early, and dimly registered the piercing cold in his hands and feet. He brought them to his face and fumbled for the torch. Oh, shit.
The frostnip hadn’t been too severe, but he had still slept on Aisha’s couch for the rest of the winter. She expressed her regret that she didn’t have space for him to move permanently into her little cottage, but he assured her it was fine. It was awkward, and he knew she didn’t actually want him in the house.
She had insisted he wash his sheets, and he had politely obliged.
The faint outline of Tweek’s blood remained visible even after the sheets had been through the washing machine several times. Every night Craig had clutched it in his fist for comfort, even as it faded with time.

It was a little before ten when Tweek awoke, burrowed down under the covers on Craig’s side of their bed, his face buried in Craig’s pillow. He breathed in Craig’s warm comforting smell, and for a moment thought he was lying on Craig himself. He opened his eyes, and remembered he was alone.
Tweek untangled his sweaty body from the covers and sat up, wincing at the slight twinge inside of him. The bedroom was swelteringly hot, exacerbating the pain. It was the expected hallmark of last night.
It isn’t normally like that. You’re so used to it now. And he’s so gentle. It had just been a long time. You’ve been stretched again.
Tweek grimaced as he stood up and carefully stepped across the bedroom to their ensuite. Ouch.

Colorado, August 2010, Summer
He had always been so careful to sneak back out of Craig’s bedroom before they fell asleep. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave him, but he knew it was necessary. The risk of their getting caught was just too high, and the consequences were unjustifiable, terrifying.
But that night had been different. He had broken the speed limit several times as he hurtled across town to Craig’s house when he got the text. I just had to reset my nose, lmao. I’d make a great boxer! Xxxx
Tweek had parked down the street, as he always did. The Tuckers couldn’t see his car through the massive oak tree. Tweek looked up at the fresh green leaves, illuminated by the humming yellow street light, as he waited for Craig’s confirmation that his parents were asleep.
Finally his phone buzzed, startling him as he gazed up at the stars. They’re out. Noone who snores that loudly is awake.
It was true that Thomas Tucker did snore remarkably loudly, as did Laura. Mercifully, Craig’s parents’ bedroom was all the way down the hallway, and he only shared a wall with Tricia. Tweek was so grateful that the Tuckers lived in a dilapidated bungalow, and that Craig’s bedroom window was so easy to climb into.
Craig was sitting on the floor when he lightly tapped the window. He looked up at Tweek and smiled. Tweek forced himself to smile back, even as he surreptitiously winced at the fresh bruise welling on Craig’s cheek.
Craig unlatched the windows, and stood guard at the door as Tweek carefully eased himself through the narrow opening. Tweek straightened up and surveyed Craig, leaving the window open in case he needed to tumble out again quickly. They had had a number of close calls over the years, but they’d never been caught.
Craig smiled at Tweek as he approached him, reaching into the little shoulder bag he carried. Tweek did not return the smile as he met his gaze, his eyes serious. “I brought you the freezer pack. It might be too late to stop the swelling. Have you taken any painkillers? Let’s have a look at that nose. You did a good job, it looks pretty straight. We’ll hold the ice on there too. Lie down on the bed, honey bee. I’ll get you some water.”
Half an hour later they lay together under Craig’s duvet, Tweek on his back and Craig clutching him around the waist as he lay beside him, their legs entwined and Craig’s head on Tweek’s chest. Tweek kissed Craig’s hair as he clutched him a little tighter. Craig sighed and nuzzled in closer. He gently kissed Tweek’s hand. “I love you so much that it hurts, Tweek. It hurts far more than this ever could.”
Tweek rubbed his back. “I love you too, honey. Are you warm enough?”
“Yeah, I’m warm enough. It’s summer, dude.”
“Maybe the snow will melt soon.”
“Maybe.”
“Hey, it was warm at the water park last week. Remember?”
“Yeah. That was fun.”
“Remember how I kept smacking my head on the waterslide? I’m such a knob.”
Craig laughed. “You’re perfect. I was just really worried that you’d have a concussion. Way to ruin your own sweet sixteenth, Tweek.”
Tweek laughed with him. “Hey, this is on me for wanting to go to a damn water park in August. I still can’t believe they keep it open all year round, but I guess they figure Colorado folks are tough. I just didn’t think it would be that busy. And I’m not tough, definitely not. I just hate getting water in my nose so I’d lift my head up at the end and smack it on the way out. And the stupid thing is I kept doing it. I kept swearing I wouldn’t do it, and then I would. Christ. Maybe I should have had one of those ridiculous sweet sixteen parties spoilt girls have on MTV instead.”
“Hey, you gave Token some laughs. Jimmy was just really happy that the park was so accessible for him. I mean yeah, that was awesome. That little elevator to the top of the slides was great.”
“Yeah, totally. Hmm. Clyde was pretty observant. Of how worried you were, about me.”
Craig gently pulled himself off of Tweek’s chest and leaned up on an elbow, looking down at him as he lay with his head against Craig’s pillow, his hair fanned out in little golden points around his face. Tweek’s brow furrowed with anxiety, and Craig gently stroked his cheek as he spoke.
“Do you think anyone suspects? I mean, beyond Tricia?”
It had only been a few weeks since Tricia had appeared in the doorway of Craig’s bedroom as he sat at his desk, doing some study for sophomore finals when she was meant to be studying for her freshman year equivalent. There was only a year between them, and unlike many siblings who were close in age, they’d always been fairly close, united against the maltreatment of their parents.
He’d felt rather than heard her presence, and turned around to smile at her. “Hey, Trish. What’s up?” Their parents were both at work.
Tricia leaned against the doorframe, gazing at him. Her expression was difficult to read, her eyes creased with warmth and openness, but her mouth was tight with concern. Craig opened his mouth to speak again, but she beat him to it with a statement that racked him with shock.
“You and Tweek are in love, aren’t you?”
He closed his mouth, then opened it again. He tried to meet her eyes, but couldn’t. He stared at the floor.
Tricia carefully approached him with her easy, loping gait, closing the few steps between them to stand before him. She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.
There was a dark blue ink stain on the carpet, the vague shape of a heart.
Craig forced himself to look up at his sister.
“If I said yes, would you tell Mom and Dad?”
She frowned. “Craig. Of course not.”
Tentatively, he placed his hand over hers on his shoulder. He looked back at the ink heart as she spoke.
“Look. It’s your business. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
He looked up at her. She was smiling.
“I just wanted to tell you that if you are, it’s cool. That’s all. I’m hungry, I’m going to make a sandwich.”
She gave his shoulder a squeeze and turned to leave.
“Tricia, wait.”
Hurriedly he stood up as she turned back to him. For a few moments they stood, surveying each other.
Craig took a deep breath. “Yeah. You’re right. I love him.”
She smiled at him, inviting him to go on. “And he loves me.”
Tricia had been so kind. But Craig knew, deep down, that his father had begun to suspect them as well. He had confronted Craig a few months previously, blocking him in the hallway one morning as Craig tried to get around him. Tweek was picking him up to drive him to school.
Thomas had shoved a copy of the local paper into his face, so close that he couldn’t make out any of the text. “Dad – I can’t -”
“There’s an article in here about faggots.”
“I’m late -”
“Goddamn liberal media is acting like it’s normal.”
“I’ll -”
Thomas had cut him off, forcefully grabbing his upper arm. He brought his face inches from Craig’s, his eyes boring into Craig’s.
“You know better than to believe that, don’t you?”
Craig had blinked. His father’s eyes narrowed.
“You don’t think it’s normal, do you?”
“I - ”
“DO you?”
Craig steeled himself. “No, sir.”
Thomas glared at him for a few seconds. Craig’s phone buzzed loudly in his pocket, and he forced a smile as his father looked down towards it.
“I’d better go, Dad. My ride is here.”
The anger on Thomas’ face merged with revulsion.
“It’s not that Tweak boy, is it?”
Yes.
“No. It’s – Clyde.”
Clyde was the only one of Craig’s friends that Thomas approved of. Craig had no doubt it was largely due to him being able-bodied and white, and aggressively macho. They had been good friends as children, running around together and fighting, but Craig was really beginning to struggle with Clyde’s increasing aggression as they aged.
“Donovan?”
“Yeah.”
“Is he still seeing that girl? What’s her name -?”
“Bebe.”
“Bebe. Yeah. She’s a good looking little girl.”
Internally, Craig cringed.
“You ought to get yourself a girlfriend, Craig.”
“Mm. Dad, I don’t want to be late for school.”
He darted around his father and out of the house. He could feel his father’s eyes on his as he unlatched the door and slipped outside.
Luckily Tweek always parked down the street.

He had wanted to tell Tweek. He truly had. But he knew how anxious Tweek was about how Craig’s family would react to their relationship, and he didn’t want to exacerbate that.
Craig leaned forward, making sure not to bump his sore nose, and kissed Tweek’s forehead.
Tweek gazed up at him in the soft light. “I wish we could tell people. I just want to tell the world you’re mine. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“I am yours. And you’re mine.”
Tweek squeezed Craig’s hand. He smiled, but his eyes were jaded, sad.
“Craig. I just, I see straight couples holding hands all the time, having dates and kissing in the coffee shop. It makes me so jealous. I can’t even touch you in public. And they just take it for granted.”
“I know, honey. I hate it.”
“We can’t even make love without worrying someone will barge in. And I know all teenagers have that, but it just feels different.”
“At least your parents have stopped making us keep the door open.”
Tweek laughed weakly, and Craig moved in to give him a tight hug.
“Tweek. One day we’ll have a place of our own, with all the rescue animals your parents won’t let you adopt, and a lovely garden to spend our weekends in, and maybe one day we’ll even be allowed to get married. Either way, you’ll be my husband. Either way I’ll love you until I die. Ugh, sorry, I’m falling into clichés. But I really mean it, ok?”
“Yeah. So do I.” Tweek held Craig tightly. “They can’t take away what we have.”
Tentatively, he leaned in to kiss Craig, painfully conscious of his nose. For a few moments they kissed deeply, their hands beginning to explore under each other’s clothes, each sharply in taking breath.
Tweek carefully pulled Craig on top of him, groaning as Craig sighed into his mouth. Hastily they pulled each other’s shirts off and clutched at each other, their warm skin reacting to the other. Tweek pulled Craig as close as he could, feeling Craig’s heart flutter against his chest.
Their eyes met across Craig’s pillow in the narrow twin bed.
“Hey. Craig. My love. I’m ready if you are.”
“Are you sure, angel?”
“Yeah.” With a little laugh, Tweek reached into the little bag he had brought over. “I’ve, um, been carrying lube around in the car for a few weeks now, since my birthday. Just in case. I wasn’t sure if you were going to make a move.”
Craig chuckled and shook his head gently. He kissed the tip of Tweek’s nose.
“I didn’t want to pressure you. But, hey, a coffee shop employee is always prepared.”
Tweek moved up to softly kiss Craig’s lips, Craig’s arms rested lightly on his waist as Tweek lay on top of him.
“I trust you completely, Craig. I, um. Now that you’re done with your shop assessments, too.”
He tugged at a lock of hair, craning his neck back to look out the window, his expression pained as he examined the leaves of the oak tree, averting his eyes from Craig. “Sorry, I’m really shy.”
He shook his head and turned back to look at Craig. “I, ha. Um. I - I douched earlier today. I was hoping, I mean, before you texted me about -” Craig nodded. “I was hoping that now that you’re done with finals, I guess I wanted to help you unwind. Ugh. Sorry. If I’m too shy to say it, I probably shouldn’t be doing it. I should be letting you sleep anyway, it’s getting late. You need your rest. I’ll call you tomorrow? Or you can come over if you want, Mom and Dad are at the shop all day.”
He kissed Craig’s cheek and started to climb off of him. As Tweek sat on the side of Craig’s bed, Craig gently squeezed his knee. “Tweek, I don’t want you to go if you don’t want to.”
Tweek let out a little laugh as he placed his hand over Craig’s, looking down at him as he lay on the bed. “Of course I don’t want to. I never want to.”
“I know, sweetheart. Neither do I. And one day we won’t have to. It’ll be our bed, our room, our home.”
“You are my home. Not the house behind the coffee shop.”
“You’re my home, too.”
Tentatively, shyly, Tweek lay back down on the narrow twin bed beside Craig and cupped his face in his hands as Craig wrapped his arms back around Tweek, one hand resting at the small of his back and the other gently cupped around the back of his warm neck. For a few moments they gazed at each other, smiling.
Tweek gently stroked his thumb over Craig’s unbruised cheek. “I don’t want to do anything if you aren’t ready for it.”
“Of course I’m ready. I just wanted to wait and do it on your terms. You’re the one feeling daunted.”
“I mean it’s scary, but I trust you completely.”
“I really want to make it good for you. I’m so scared of hurting you, or of it not feeling good.”
“Of course it will feel good. Even if we don’t really know what we’re doing yet, it’s with you.”
“I’ll be so careful. You know that, right?”
“I know, honey. Um. Do you mind if we don’t use a condom? I know it will make it more difficult if we do. But only if you’re ok with it.”
“Yeah. I trust you.”
“I trust you too.”
“I know you do.”
“I love you, Craig.”
“I love you too, Tweek.”
They clutched each other tightly, lying together in the silent house. The night was still, silent as Tweek, with his green eyes locked on Craig’s and his pupils dilated, softly spoke. “I need you, Craig. Make love to me. Make me yours.”
Craig kissed Tweek’s forehead and gently let go of Tweek’s waist to slip down the bed and carefully unzip Tweek’s jeans, his eyes alternating between focusing on the zipper and lovingly looking back at Tweek, a warm smile playing on his face. Tweek gasped, his heart thumping wildly against his ribs, as Craig slowly pulled the jeans off of Tweek’s narrow hips, his eyes focused on the lift in Tweek’s boxer briefs.
Craig dropped the jeans on the floor and leant forward, bending over as he knelt over Tweek to gaze down at him. Their eyes locked, and a thousand memories passed between them with the anticipation of creating a billion more together guaranteed.
Tweek grinned and opened his arms wide as he lay on his back in Craig’s narrow twin bed. “Come on. I need a hug.”
Craig carefully lay down on him, his face buried in Tweek’s neck. He inhaled Tweek’s deliciously comforting familiar smell and Tweek moaned at the warmth. He gently stroked Craig’s hair. “You should take your jeans off too. 10/10 would recommend being undressed by Craig Tucker.” He laughed softly. “But hopefully I’m the only one.”
Craig lifted his head to meet Tweek’s gaze as he responded, his voice husky and gently. “I only want to undress you. And I want to undress you completely.” He gently brushed his fingertips along Tweek’s waistband, lightly lifting it along the edge and stroking Tweek’s bare stomach. Tweek took a sharp intake of breath in response, and Craig smiled to himself. He knew what Tweek liked.
“Craig. Oh, Jesus. I need you to take those off me. Please.” He spread his legs open and Craig felt their cocks rub together through the barrier of their clothing.
“Fuck. Ha. You don’t need to tell me twice. Come here, honey.” Craig slid off of Tweek and eased his boxers off him. Tweek groaned and Craig felt his own stirrings as he looked down at the smooth skin of Tweek’s stomach, the colour of oyster shell, the triangle of hair that grew down there, a warm bronze hue that complemented the golden-brown locks that fell against Craig’s pillow.
They had been intimate together a few times over the last couple of weeks of the summer, carefully discovering each other. While they were both extremely comfortable with each other, they were also both anxious about not getting it right and letting the other down. So far, though, their lovemaking had been electric.
With that in mind, Craig met Tweek’s eyes as he unbuttoned his own jeans and slid them down his legs with his own boxers. He dropped them onto the floor, and Tweek beamed at him. He grinned back.
Some of it had proven exceedingly difficult, particularly as the pain tended to make Tweek tense up with anxiety.
Craig had no idea whether that would be enough for what Tweek wanted him to do now. But whatever they did would be done at Tweek’s pace.
Now he reached up to gently take Tweek’s hand and entwine their fingers as he started moving further down his body. Tweek sighed and Craig reached for the lube.
Tweek reached out to squeeze Craig’s knee as he carefully opened the bottle Tweek had brought and smeared some on his fingers. Their eyes met, and Tweek smiled at him.
“Hey. I just want you to come up here and kiss me. And, y’know. If you used those lubed-up fingers I’ll love it.”
Craig laughed and lay down beside Tweek, who took his hand and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. For a few moments they melted into each other, until Tweek gasped and whispered to Craig.
“Touch me. Please.”
“Can I spoon you?”
“I’d love that.”
Craig gently rolled Tweek onto his side and held him tightly, their bodies entwined. Their limbs tangled together as their warm skin touched.

Afterwards Craig lay down beside Tweek and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Tweek clung to him, shaking slightly.
“I love you so much, Craig.”
“I love you more. Are you ok?”
“Yeah. That was amazing.”
“You’re amazing. Are you hurting?”
“A little. It isn’t your fault. You were so gentle. You’re just so well-equipped. I’m a lucky man.”
Craig laughed as he drew Tweek in closer. “Flatterer.”
“I’d love to do that for you. I mean, completely. It feels amazing.” He poked his tongue out. “And you wouldn’t have to contend with as much as I do.”
Craig snorted as Tweek snuggled into his chest. Tweek laughed. “No, that wasn’t piggish at all.”
“Shh, you.”
They lay together, blissfully happy. Neither of them had any idea of for how long they stayed like that. Tweek tried to internally will himself to get up as Craig tried to internally will himself to suggest it to him. Neither of them wanted to.
Dimly, Craig registered himself beginning to fall asleep. It’s ok. He can stay. The chair…safe. Groggily he looked over at the door. The chair didn’t look as secure as he had expected it to. I’ll just get up and…
Suddenly Tweek let out a contented little squeak as he snuggled into Craig a little closer. Craig tried not to laugh and wake him by shaking as he registered how much the squeak sounded like Speckle.
Tweek lay cuddled in Craig’s arms as he dozed, Craig protectively cocooned around Tweek’s much smaller frame. I love this boy. I really, really do. And he loves me. And tonight we made love, really made love, for the first time. And it was amazing. He’s amazing.
Craig smiled to himself as he felt Tweek’s warm body held in his arms, lovingly cuddling into Craig with the utmost trust and comfortability. He had one final thought before exhaustion and soothing orgasmic endorphins pulled him under.
I will love him for the rest of my life.