Categories > TV > Star Trek: The Original Series > Star Infinity
IN THE 34TH CENTURY . . .
September 30, 3301
Traveling through the intergalactic void is a bright pink nebula. It is roughly 100 astronomical units in diameter. As the cloud approaches the Milky Way Galaxy's magenta galactic barrier, it slows to sublight speed, passing by the drifting debris of the S.S. Valiant from about 1,236 years ago. Eventually, the cloud penetrates the barrier, not noticing the sensor buoys placed to detect intruders into the Milky Way.
Three Suprederation starships of Klingon design orbit Delta Vega near the other side of the galactic barrier. They are of the new Butterfly class. The first starship of this class is the prototype U.S.S. Butterfly NCC-999999, followed by the—
U.S.S. Fred Rogers NCC-1000000 (one million)
U.S.S. Fairy Princess NCC-1000001 (one million one)
U.S.S. Barney the Dinosaur NCC-1000002 (one million two)
The latter three ships form the "Delta Vega border guards" or "DVBG", who monitor this particular area near the galactic barrier for possible signs of intrusion. However, there has not been much activity, and most of the time has been spent studying Delta Vega out of sheer boredom. Some wonder why the heck Gary Mitchell wrote "James R. Kirk" on the tombstone instead of "James T. Kirk". How could a self-proclaimed "god" make such a mistake? Others are amazed about how Elizabeth Dehner's body has hardly decomposed in the last 1,036 years, probably due to the effects of the galactic barrier on people with high ESP ratings.
The ship leading the DVBG is the Fred Rogers, whose dedication plaque contains the ship's motto: "Won't you be my neighbor?" The Fred Rogers is commanded by Captain Robert Brown, a part-Klingon botanist. He shares his profession with his parents, who named him after the botanist of the same name. Captain Brown keeps a Venus flytrap, Spot, as a companion.
Brown sits in his raised command chair at the center of the bridge of the Fred Rogers. In his lap is a flower pot, where Spot resides. The lighting on the bridge is blue-violet but very dim. Brown is asleep when he hears a proximity alarm, which wakes him.
"Sir, our sensor buoys on the other side of the barrier have detected an intruder," the science officer states.
"Hot damn! Finally, some action!" the tactical officer shouts with extreme enthusiasm and downs a beer in preparation.
Captain Brown's first officer enters the bridge from the door atop the staircase behind the command chair.
"Damn! It is dark! Computer, turn up the lights!" the first officer orders. The bridge brightens but only very slightly.
"Come on!" the first officer complains, "Surely, you can brighten it more!"
"If I brightened it more, it would ruin the drama! Deal with it! And don't call me Shirley!" the computer replies.
The first officer mutters something obscene under their breath, and unable to see in the dim light, they fall down the stairs. The impact gives them a black eye and ejects a tooth from their mouth.
"Are you all right, Commander?" Brown asks as his first officer stands, brushes off their uniform, and comes to the left side of the command chair.
"Do I look all right!?" the first officer asks, emphasizing their injuries, "By the way, why don't I get a chair?"
Brown rolls his eyes and places Spot on the floor to the opposite side of the command chair from where his first officer is standing.
The nebula emerges from the barrier. At first, it is somewhat difficult to see because of the similar colors. But as it approaches the DVBG, the difference between the cloud and the barrier becomes clear.
"Hail the Fairy Princess and the Barney the Dinosaur," Brown orders.
"Channel open, sir," the communications officer complies.
"Fairy Princess, Barney the Dinosaur, this is Captain Brown. Come about to either side of the Fred Rogers; we will be intercepting the cloud. Fred Rogers out," Brown says and the communications officer closes the channel.
"Are you sure that's wise?" the first officer asks.
"It is our duty to intercept any possibly hostile intruders to determine whether or not they are hostile, so we will do so," Brown answers.
"Very well, Captain, but I'm uncertain that I like this," the first officer replies.
The Fred Rogers, with the Fairy Princess and the Barney the Dinosaur flanking her port and starboard, respectively, begin their course toward the nebula. The cloud grows ever closer until it fills the viewscreen of the former's bridge. The DVBG stops just on the edge of the cloud, which has also stopped moving. It very much resembles the V'ger cloud from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, only that it's bright pink instead of blue.
"Tactical," Brown commands, and the viewscreen shows a computer-generated view of the ships at the cloud's edge.
"Visual," he then commands, and the viewscreen switches back to a live view of the cloud.
"Open a channel," Brown orders and the communications officer complies, "This is Captain Robert Brown of the Suprederation starship Fred Rogers; what are your intentions?"
"There is no response, sir," the communications officer reports.
"Suggestions, Commander?" Brown prompts his first officer.
"I say that we shoot it."
"As similar as this situation is to the first scene in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Commander, I'd prefer not to provoke an attack. Remember what happened then?"
"Okay, how about a probe then?"
Brown mulls it over, "Very well, launch a probe."
"Aye, sir," the tactical officer replies in slurred speech. The tactical officer is very drunk from all the beers that they downed in preparation for a confrontation. Just as they are about to launch the probe, they pass out. As they fall to the floor, their arm hits the torpedo-launch button, which fires an iridescent torpedo.
When Brown sees a torpedo instead of a probe on the viewscreen, he turns to the tactical officer for an explanation. He sees the drunkard passed out, with about a dozen cans of beer strewn across the floor near their station.
"Shit!" Brown swears, and turns to look back at the viewscreen. He pushes a button on the right arm of his command chair, "Medical team to the bridge! The damned tactical officer has passed out drunk again!"
"Acknowledged," comes a response, and Brown terminates the transmission.
"Commander, take over their station!" Brown orders his first officer.
"Yes, sir," the first officer obeys.
"See? I told them that the science officer should be responsible for launching probes, but did they listen? No!" the science officer remarks.
The crew watches in anticipation as the torpedo disappears into the nebula. A medical team enters the bridge from an area below the staircase and begins carrying the unconscious tactical officer away. However, before they exit the bridge, one of them sees a pink dot of light approaching on the viewscreen.
"What is that?" they ask.
Brown's eyes grow wide, "Oh, dear god . . ."
Zeta X (10, ten) is an extremely old and worn subspace communications station near the galactic barrier and is in desperate need of a replacement. Lieutenant Commander Sloot, a bald, blue-skinned, female Bolian, sits at her station, filing her fingernails, with her legs propped up on the console. For some reason, she and the other crewmembers of Zeta X wear old Starfleet uniforms first featured in the Star Trek pilots "The Cage" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before".
Sloot's console looks like it comes straight out of an old sci-fi movie. The console beeps, and she pushes a button on it. Captain Brown's face appears on the archaic nine-inch CRT monitor embedded in her console. She thumps the equally archaic long silver microphone to test it and speaks into it.
"Hey, Captain Brown! What's going on?"
"A gigantic, bright pink cloud traversed the galactic barrier. We intercepted it, and now we are under attack by bright pink plasma spheres!"
Sloot chuckles, "Bright pink spheres, huh? I'll tell you who has hot pink balls—"
Brown interrupts, "I'm not joking! See for yourself!"
The image on Sloot's monitor switches to a view of the spheres harassing the ships.
"Say, that reminds me of V'ger from Star Trek: The Motion Picture! Do you suppose that that is V'ger's sister?"
Meanwhile, at the cloud, a plasma sphere finally overwhelms the shields of the Barney the Dinosaur. The sphere strikes her hull and envelops her in extremely bright pink light. The ship subsequently vanishes. Fortunately, the Barney the Dinosaur's crew is able to transport to the Fred Rogers.
"Gah! We lost the Barney the Dinosaur!" Brown exclaims.
"I never liked him," Sloot replies.
"I will have to call you back, Sloot!" Brown says and terminates the transmission.
An escaped nine-year-old clone of American actress Shirley Temple quietly enters the bridge and comes to Captain Brown's side just as he asks, "Where is the Fairy Princess!?"
The clone giggles, "She is in fairyland!"
Brown does a double-take, "Shirley Temple!? What the hell is going on here!?"
"The Fairy Princess retreated, sir," the first officer says. Brown yells various expletives, which prompts the clone to cover her ears, "And someone get that clone off the bridge!" the first officer orders, "No one's supposed to even know that she exists!"
An ensign approaches the clone, "You want some ice cream?" they ask.
"Sure!" the clone responds. The ensign then offers their hand, which she takes, and they leave the bridge.
Brown pushes a button on his chair, "Engineering! Prepare for maximum hyperwarp!"
The chief engineer's voice comes over the intercom, "I would be glad to comply, sir, but—er—well—"
"What is it!?"
"We can't go to hyperwarp."
"What!? Why not!?"
"A drunken engineer ejected the hyperwarp core."
Once again, a flurry of expletives explodes from Brown's mouth.
The cloud fires another plasma sphere, which pursues the Fred Rogers, as she desperately attempts to flee at maximum hyper-impulse. Unfortunately, the ship is not fast enough, and the Fred Rogers suffers the same fate as the Barney the Dinosaur. The nebula then resumes its course.
All that is left on Sloot's CRT monitor is an image of the cloud. Commander Xon, the Vulcan commanding officer of Zeta X, looks over her shoulder.
"We plotted a course on that cloud, Commander. It will pass fairly near Zeta Ten," Sloot reports.
"Where's it heading?" Xon inquires.
"Where do you think? It's on a direct course for Earth! I mean, it's always Earth, never Qo'noS, never Vulcan, never Bolias—"
"Shut up, Sloot! I get it!" Xon interrupts.
September 30, 3301
Traveling through the intergalactic void is a bright pink nebula. It is roughly 100 astronomical units in diameter. As the cloud approaches the Milky Way Galaxy's magenta galactic barrier, it slows to sublight speed, passing by the drifting debris of the S.S. Valiant from about 1,236 years ago. Eventually, the cloud penetrates the barrier, not noticing the sensor buoys placed to detect intruders into the Milky Way.
Three Suprederation starships of Klingon design orbit Delta Vega near the other side of the galactic barrier. They are of the new Butterfly class. The first starship of this class is the prototype U.S.S. Butterfly NCC-999999, followed by the—
U.S.S. Fred Rogers NCC-1000000 (one million)
U.S.S. Fairy Princess NCC-1000001 (one million one)
U.S.S. Barney the Dinosaur NCC-1000002 (one million two)
The latter three ships form the "Delta Vega border guards" or "DVBG", who monitor this particular area near the galactic barrier for possible signs of intrusion. However, there has not been much activity, and most of the time has been spent studying Delta Vega out of sheer boredom. Some wonder why the heck Gary Mitchell wrote "James R. Kirk" on the tombstone instead of "James T. Kirk". How could a self-proclaimed "god" make such a mistake? Others are amazed about how Elizabeth Dehner's body has hardly decomposed in the last 1,036 years, probably due to the effects of the galactic barrier on people with high ESP ratings.
The ship leading the DVBG is the Fred Rogers, whose dedication plaque contains the ship's motto: "Won't you be my neighbor?" The Fred Rogers is commanded by Captain Robert Brown, a part-Klingon botanist. He shares his profession with his parents, who named him after the botanist of the same name. Captain Brown keeps a Venus flytrap, Spot, as a companion.
Brown sits in his raised command chair at the center of the bridge of the Fred Rogers. In his lap is a flower pot, where Spot resides. The lighting on the bridge is blue-violet but very dim. Brown is asleep when he hears a proximity alarm, which wakes him.
"Sir, our sensor buoys on the other side of the barrier have detected an intruder," the science officer states.
"Hot damn! Finally, some action!" the tactical officer shouts with extreme enthusiasm and downs a beer in preparation.
Captain Brown's first officer enters the bridge from the door atop the staircase behind the command chair.
"Damn! It is dark! Computer, turn up the lights!" the first officer orders. The bridge brightens but only very slightly.
"Come on!" the first officer complains, "Surely, you can brighten it more!"
"If I brightened it more, it would ruin the drama! Deal with it! And don't call me Shirley!" the computer replies.
The first officer mutters something obscene under their breath, and unable to see in the dim light, they fall down the stairs. The impact gives them a black eye and ejects a tooth from their mouth.
"Are you all right, Commander?" Brown asks as his first officer stands, brushes off their uniform, and comes to the left side of the command chair.
"Do I look all right!?" the first officer asks, emphasizing their injuries, "By the way, why don't I get a chair?"
Brown rolls his eyes and places Spot on the floor to the opposite side of the command chair from where his first officer is standing.
The nebula emerges from the barrier. At first, it is somewhat difficult to see because of the similar colors. But as it approaches the DVBG, the difference between the cloud and the barrier becomes clear.
"Hail the Fairy Princess and the Barney the Dinosaur," Brown orders.
"Channel open, sir," the communications officer complies.
"Fairy Princess, Barney the Dinosaur, this is Captain Brown. Come about to either side of the Fred Rogers; we will be intercepting the cloud. Fred Rogers out," Brown says and the communications officer closes the channel.
"Are you sure that's wise?" the first officer asks.
"It is our duty to intercept any possibly hostile intruders to determine whether or not they are hostile, so we will do so," Brown answers.
"Very well, Captain, but I'm uncertain that I like this," the first officer replies.
The Fred Rogers, with the Fairy Princess and the Barney the Dinosaur flanking her port and starboard, respectively, begin their course toward the nebula. The cloud grows ever closer until it fills the viewscreen of the former's bridge. The DVBG stops just on the edge of the cloud, which has also stopped moving. It very much resembles the V'ger cloud from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, only that it's bright pink instead of blue.
"Tactical," Brown commands, and the viewscreen shows a computer-generated view of the ships at the cloud's edge.
"Visual," he then commands, and the viewscreen switches back to a live view of the cloud.
"Open a channel," Brown orders and the communications officer complies, "This is Captain Robert Brown of the Suprederation starship Fred Rogers; what are your intentions?"
"There is no response, sir," the communications officer reports.
"Suggestions, Commander?" Brown prompts his first officer.
"I say that we shoot it."
"As similar as this situation is to the first scene in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Commander, I'd prefer not to provoke an attack. Remember what happened then?"
"Okay, how about a probe then?"
Brown mulls it over, "Very well, launch a probe."
"Aye, sir," the tactical officer replies in slurred speech. The tactical officer is very drunk from all the beers that they downed in preparation for a confrontation. Just as they are about to launch the probe, they pass out. As they fall to the floor, their arm hits the torpedo-launch button, which fires an iridescent torpedo.
When Brown sees a torpedo instead of a probe on the viewscreen, he turns to the tactical officer for an explanation. He sees the drunkard passed out, with about a dozen cans of beer strewn across the floor near their station.
"Shit!" Brown swears, and turns to look back at the viewscreen. He pushes a button on the right arm of his command chair, "Medical team to the bridge! The damned tactical officer has passed out drunk again!"
"Acknowledged," comes a response, and Brown terminates the transmission.
"Commander, take over their station!" Brown orders his first officer.
"Yes, sir," the first officer obeys.
"See? I told them that the science officer should be responsible for launching probes, but did they listen? No!" the science officer remarks.
The crew watches in anticipation as the torpedo disappears into the nebula. A medical team enters the bridge from an area below the staircase and begins carrying the unconscious tactical officer away. However, before they exit the bridge, one of them sees a pink dot of light approaching on the viewscreen.
"What is that?" they ask.
Brown's eyes grow wide, "Oh, dear god . . ."
Zeta X (10, ten) is an extremely old and worn subspace communications station near the galactic barrier and is in desperate need of a replacement. Lieutenant Commander Sloot, a bald, blue-skinned, female Bolian, sits at her station, filing her fingernails, with her legs propped up on the console. For some reason, she and the other crewmembers of Zeta X wear old Starfleet uniforms first featured in the Star Trek pilots "The Cage" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before".
Sloot's console looks like it comes straight out of an old sci-fi movie. The console beeps, and she pushes a button on it. Captain Brown's face appears on the archaic nine-inch CRT monitor embedded in her console. She thumps the equally archaic long silver microphone to test it and speaks into it.
"Hey, Captain Brown! What's going on?"
"A gigantic, bright pink cloud traversed the galactic barrier. We intercepted it, and now we are under attack by bright pink plasma spheres!"
Sloot chuckles, "Bright pink spheres, huh? I'll tell you who has hot pink balls—"
Brown interrupts, "I'm not joking! See for yourself!"
The image on Sloot's monitor switches to a view of the spheres harassing the ships.
"Say, that reminds me of V'ger from Star Trek: The Motion Picture! Do you suppose that that is V'ger's sister?"
Meanwhile, at the cloud, a plasma sphere finally overwhelms the shields of the Barney the Dinosaur. The sphere strikes her hull and envelops her in extremely bright pink light. The ship subsequently vanishes. Fortunately, the Barney the Dinosaur's crew is able to transport to the Fred Rogers.
"Gah! We lost the Barney the Dinosaur!" Brown exclaims.
"I never liked him," Sloot replies.
"I will have to call you back, Sloot!" Brown says and terminates the transmission.
An escaped nine-year-old clone of American actress Shirley Temple quietly enters the bridge and comes to Captain Brown's side just as he asks, "Where is the Fairy Princess!?"
The clone giggles, "She is in fairyland!"
Brown does a double-take, "Shirley Temple!? What the hell is going on here!?"
"The Fairy Princess retreated, sir," the first officer says. Brown yells various expletives, which prompts the clone to cover her ears, "And someone get that clone off the bridge!" the first officer orders, "No one's supposed to even know that she exists!"
An ensign approaches the clone, "You want some ice cream?" they ask.
"Sure!" the clone responds. The ensign then offers their hand, which she takes, and they leave the bridge.
Brown pushes a button on his chair, "Engineering! Prepare for maximum hyperwarp!"
The chief engineer's voice comes over the intercom, "I would be glad to comply, sir, but—er—well—"
"What is it!?"
"We can't go to hyperwarp."
"What!? Why not!?"
"A drunken engineer ejected the hyperwarp core."
Once again, a flurry of expletives explodes from Brown's mouth.
The cloud fires another plasma sphere, which pursues the Fred Rogers, as she desperately attempts to flee at maximum hyper-impulse. Unfortunately, the ship is not fast enough, and the Fred Rogers suffers the same fate as the Barney the Dinosaur. The nebula then resumes its course.
All that is left on Sloot's CRT monitor is an image of the cloud. Commander Xon, the Vulcan commanding officer of Zeta X, looks over her shoulder.
"We plotted a course on that cloud, Commander. It will pass fairly near Zeta Ten," Sloot reports.
"Where's it heading?" Xon inquires.
"Where do you think? It's on a direct course for Earth! I mean, it's always Earth, never Qo'noS, never Vulcan, never Bolias—"
"Shut up, Sloot! I get it!" Xon interrupts.
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