Categories > Cartoons > American Dad

Party That Almost Wasn't

by PickleGarden 0 reviews

Jared infiltrates the CIA and becomes clingy with Stan. Another Superjail/American Dad crossover

Category: American Dad - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Humor,Parody - Published: 2024-04-13 - 1308 words - Complete

It was a usual day at the CIA headquarters, with Stan and Bullock hatching another one of their elaborate schemes. But this time, they had a new accomplice - Jared. Unbeknownst to him, Jared was being used as a pawn in their game to gather information for the Warden of Superjail.

Stan, Bullock, and Jackson were looking at a selfie of themselves on an iPhone. "This is how we have to look for our photo." Bullock advised. "Don't we look so patriotic!" Stan boasted. "Photo of us is giving off Jack Ryan vibes"! Jackson joins in.

Jared, dressed the usual CIA attire to blend in. Was diligently working on his assignment, "Hi guys!" Jared waves. Jackson waves, "Don't wave back at him!" Bullock ordered? "Why not?" asked Jackson. "Because ever since I spoke out for him and the Warden on Morning Mimosa, he's been clinging on my ass!" Stan explains.

"Meaning?" asked Bullock. "Now I'm being forced to hang out with him"! Stan answered. "Well, I'd rather sleep in a bed full of Bond villains!" said Bullock. Jared walked towards the table when Stan approached him with a mischievous grin.
"Hey, Jared! Would you like to be a part of our group selfie?" asked Stan. "Sure, I would.!" Jared agrees, "Good thing I wore my favorite tie!"

Jared reveals he has a tie with the Disney Cartoon Talespin on it. "Hey, Jared, nice tie," Stan remarked, eyeing Jared's Talespin-themed accessory.

Jared beamed proudly. "Thanks! Talespin is my favorite childhood cartoon. I've always admired Baloo."
"Okay, it's settled. Let's go take our pic on that wall over there." suggested Jackson. "Smith! Are we seriously letting him be a part of this? He's wearing a Disney tie!" Bullock said.

"It'll be worth it. Trust me!" Stan said. "What exactly are we going to do with him," asked Jackson cautiously. "Lighten up, Jackson! We're just going to have a little fun with him!" said Bullock.

Jared was now up against the wall waiting to get the selfie taken. Jared was wondering why Stan, Bullock, and Jackson were wearing red and blue striped ties. "We are you guys wearing matching ties?" asked Jared.

"Oh we wear red, white, and blue on Wednesdays!" Stan tells Jared who then asks, "Do you still want me to be in your photo?" "Why yes! That's why you're here!" Bullock said.
Jackson took the selfie with him, Jared, Stan, and Bullock. Then Jackson takes a look. "YES! AWESOME! WE LOOK COOL!"
"Yeah, most of us!" Stan laughs. Jared know if the CIA Agents were laughing with him or at him.

In the CIA break room, the other agents were walking past Jared. Stan sends out flyers. "Party this weekend!"
"Handing out flyers, Smith?" Bullock asking as he sees Stan in the break room. Stan exchanged a glance with Bullock before turning back to Jared. "Say, we're having a little gathering tonight to celebrate your hard work. How about we make it Talespin themed?"

Jared's eyes lit up with excitement. "That sounds amazing! I'll be there!"

Walking away thinking he was going to have a party with the theme of his favorite childhood Disney cartoon. Stan, Bullock, and Jackson all scheme.

"Oh boy! I can smell a set up from a mile away!" Jackson said. "Yes, it's about time we got rid of him. We cannot let people like him run around the CIA." said Bullock.
"I got everything under control, Bullock! By the end of this weekend, Jared will never show his face around the CIA ever again!" Stan promises.


That evening, Jared arrived at the party, dressed as Baloo himself. The party was taking place at Pizza Overlord. He was eager to share his love for Talespin with his colleagues.

Stan meets him, "Hey Jared! Great Cosplay skills". Jared asks, "Yes. I'm here! Why aren't you wearing anything Talespin related?". Stan stuttered, " Oh that! Hee hee. I'm going to change when we get inside. However, as he looked around, he realized something was amiss. None of the other CIA agents were dressed in Talespin costumes.

Stan introduces Jared, "Hey everyone! Here he is, as promised. The man of the hour, Jared!"

Bullock, Stan and Jackson all laughed at Jared.

Confused, Jared approached Stan, who wore a sly grin. "What's going on, Stan? I thought this was supposed to be a Talespin party."

Stan chuckled. "Oh, Jared, didn't you know? This was all just a setup to make you look foolish. You fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

Feeling humiliated, Jared fled from the party and sought solace in the one place he felt understood - Superjail.

The Warden was waiting for him at the front door. "Jared! About time you came back! What did you find out about the CIA?"

"Nothing"! Jared said almost crying.

Arriving at the chaotic penitentiary, Jared sought out the Warden, hoping for sympathy. However, instead of comfort, he was met with scorn. " Stan Smith and his friends invited me to a Talespin themed party. And it turned out not to be".

"Childish nonsense!" the Warden exclaimed, dismissing Jared's love for Talespin. "You should know better than to indulge in such frivolities. Grow up, Jared!"

Feeling dejected, Jared retreated to his quarters, vowing to never trust Stan and Bullock again.

"How about this, we'll have a party here in Superjail! Next week.". The Warden says.

" Will it be Talespin?". Asked Jared. " Nope, something more mature.". The Warden said.

"Know what? After what happened at the CIA, I'll never watch Talespin or any other Disney cartoons again. Maybe it is time I grow up anyway.". Jared tells the Warden.

" Thats the spirit!". Warren says. "What will the theme be?". Asks Jared. " It'll be a surprise. ". The Warden answers.

A week later, the Warden decided to throw a surprise party for Jared. Who was blind folded. Then Warden takes the blind fold off.

" SURPRISE "! screams Alice, Lord Stingray, The Twins, and some inmates.

The Warden walks Jared into a room But instead of a Talespin theme, he opted for something he deemed more "age-appropriate" - Hogan's Heroes.

Jared, now wary of surprises, reluctantly attended the party, only to find himself surrounded by Hogan's Heroes memorabilia. Warden asks, "Now isn't this better than silly Disney shit?".

" Yeah I guess.". Jared speaks out. Alice is dressed as Hilda walks up to them and says, "Its not a Hogans Heroes party if you're not dressed"!

All the inmates were dressed as Stalag 13 prisoners. Jared and the Warden don on Klink and Schultz costumes. Lord Stingray was Major Hotchstetter. Yes! Our costumes are awesome! You can't have Klink without Schultz.". The Warden says.

Though grateful for the gesture, Jared couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment.

Come on, lets go cut the cake!". The Warden announces.

As the party continued, Jared couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't quite fit in with the theme. But amidst the laughter and camaraderie, he realized that perhaps it didn't matter what theme the party was. What mattered was the friendships he had forged, even if they were with the most unconventional of characters in the wildest of places.

At the CIA, Stan, Bullock, and Jackson all made a toast that Jared was finally gone.

" Yes! No more Jared!". Jackson says.

"Well done, Smith! Thanks to you, Jared will never bother us again!". Bullock says.

Stan thinks out loud, " Wonder where he is now? Hopefully he's locked himself away from the world, and crying! Ah! Who cares!"

Bullock remembered something, "I saw him on the Morning Mimosa show. While he was here, I did a background check and found out he was working for Superjail!"

Jackson pondered, "What did he want with us?"

"The Warden sent him to find out any secrets we had!". Bullock tells Stan and Jackson.

" Now I'm really glad we got rid of him". Stan laughs.
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