Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Enough Room For Two
Chapter 8 Jerk
She walked home alone, the wind bit the insides of her nose and she pulled her scarf up and covered her nose and mouth. Her head was down, there was a charge to her walk, like a working horse. No time to enjoy the late night air, just get home, be safe. Her heels were thumping defeat rather than tapping with the excitement there was before. There were quite a crowd of people out on this evening, she kept her head down, not wanting to make more new friends, she'd made enough for one night. She could feel the sweats reach the tips of her fingers and that familiar tingle as the various noises frightened her wits.
She was hurt, and she hurt bad. There was an emotional current that ran through Shay and it had been jolted by the events she'd come across tonight.
She so badly desired a man that would love and show her what a real relationship was because she had never had one. She'd been so studious in school, she completely ignored the opposite sex when it came to romance and had deprived herself of all the teenage mistakes that were generally made. Her intimacy levels were low and she'd never been with a man in that way, she felt a strong yearning inside of her to reach these points within a relationship and experience all the things she'd missed. Now she was just dealing with the fact it wasn't going to be Patrick who had so earned her trust and who she would have gladly given her womanhood to.
She'd so wanted to reveal the dark side of her past, knowing he would take it on and help her through it. He had this way of dismissing any doubts she had about anything going on with herself or her life. He'd already lifted her confidence in her abilities to mother Rory and when coursework was forcing her to submerge in misery, he'd drop kindness everywhere and just make everything seem ok. She was really inflating her feelings for him and then he'd gone and let it all out by macking on this nice chic from 'their' crowd. What a jerk.
'What a jerk!' he said to himself as he lay in bed that night, without the nice chic, who's name was Allison by the way. He'd been completely overwhelmed by his feelings for Shay, seeing her current vulnerability had only attracted him more, there something that was intuitive in men to want to save women, be their confidante, be whatever they needed to be, whatever you called you it now. It felt like what ever the hell he had with Shay, was wrapped in the finest qualities and sealed carefully in this cocoon. It was set apart to everything else going on his life. Whilst his social and secular life screamed and shouted at him all day, the time he had with Shay brought him back down and she showed herself to him in a way that made him happy with just being a regular guy.
Just even adding Pete to the equation of their friendship often changed the atmosphere of how they were towards each other. He was such a huge presence and he also had a desire to have Shay's attention, Patrick felt in some way that maybe she made him feel the same way too, feel human, feel normal but yet feel special.
Troubling Patrick was not the thought of starting a relationship with Shay but that knowledge that she hadn't told him everything. He knew there was nothing malicious behind it, Shay wouldn't be capable of hiding any wrong doing she'd possible committed. However there was this big empty gap of knowledge regarding Rory and how she'd ended up with him. He was angry that she'd been thrown into the situation but never once had she questioned or grumbled about it and this was what thwarted him. He had to know. He had to understand, he had to appreciate and be able to handle the truth, only then could he consider becoming more with her.
She walked home alone, the wind bit the insides of her nose and she pulled her scarf up and covered her nose and mouth. Her head was down, there was a charge to her walk, like a working horse. No time to enjoy the late night air, just get home, be safe. Her heels were thumping defeat rather than tapping with the excitement there was before. There were quite a crowd of people out on this evening, she kept her head down, not wanting to make more new friends, she'd made enough for one night. She could feel the sweats reach the tips of her fingers and that familiar tingle as the various noises frightened her wits.
She was hurt, and she hurt bad. There was an emotional current that ran through Shay and it had been jolted by the events she'd come across tonight.
She so badly desired a man that would love and show her what a real relationship was because she had never had one. She'd been so studious in school, she completely ignored the opposite sex when it came to romance and had deprived herself of all the teenage mistakes that were generally made. Her intimacy levels were low and she'd never been with a man in that way, she felt a strong yearning inside of her to reach these points within a relationship and experience all the things she'd missed. Now she was just dealing with the fact it wasn't going to be Patrick who had so earned her trust and who she would have gladly given her womanhood to.
She'd so wanted to reveal the dark side of her past, knowing he would take it on and help her through it. He had this way of dismissing any doubts she had about anything going on with herself or her life. He'd already lifted her confidence in her abilities to mother Rory and when coursework was forcing her to submerge in misery, he'd drop kindness everywhere and just make everything seem ok. She was really inflating her feelings for him and then he'd gone and let it all out by macking on this nice chic from 'their' crowd. What a jerk.
'What a jerk!' he said to himself as he lay in bed that night, without the nice chic, who's name was Allison by the way. He'd been completely overwhelmed by his feelings for Shay, seeing her current vulnerability had only attracted him more, there something that was intuitive in men to want to save women, be their confidante, be whatever they needed to be, whatever you called you it now. It felt like what ever the hell he had with Shay, was wrapped in the finest qualities and sealed carefully in this cocoon. It was set apart to everything else going on his life. Whilst his social and secular life screamed and shouted at him all day, the time he had with Shay brought him back down and she showed herself to him in a way that made him happy with just being a regular guy.
Just even adding Pete to the equation of their friendship often changed the atmosphere of how they were towards each other. He was such a huge presence and he also had a desire to have Shay's attention, Patrick felt in some way that maybe she made him feel the same way too, feel human, feel normal but yet feel special.
Troubling Patrick was not the thought of starting a relationship with Shay but that knowledge that she hadn't told him everything. He knew there was nothing malicious behind it, Shay wouldn't be capable of hiding any wrong doing she'd possible committed. However there was this big empty gap of knowledge regarding Rory and how she'd ended up with him. He was angry that she'd been thrown into the situation but never once had she questioned or grumbled about it and this was what thwarted him. He had to know. He had to understand, he had to appreciate and be able to handle the truth, only then could he consider becoming more with her.
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