FicWad

This is a Pro-Family Guy/Anti-Owl House Fanfic. I did a crossover of American Dad and Amphibia. So I thought I'd try it with Owl House and Family Guy.

I thought about doing an anti Owl House fanfic for a while. Now I have the fire to write it and finally going to make the fanfic a reality. Warning: if you're a fan of the show, turn back now. Thank you. As I've said before this is only a rip on the show, not the fans.

Let us begin....


At the Griffin House. Peter was watching TV and had it on the Disney Channel. "Hmmm, so that's why Bluey is so popular. Wonder what's on next?"

The Disney announcer on TV said, "Stay tuned for Owl House!"

Peter growled with frustration. "I fucking hate this show! It's all over the internet fan sites! What do people see in this shit!"

Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire walk in. "I'm glad we don't have to knock." Quagmire said. "Oh hey guys. What brings you all here?" asked Peter.

"We were going to the Clam to watch the big game. You in?" Cleveland says. "Yes, I will soon. But first. I want to get rid of Owl House." Peter said.

"How do you propose to do that?" Joe asks with sarcasm.

"Where there's a will there's a way. I'll just send a virus on their computer. I know how to do it." Peter says.

"You do know that show is in another universe and doesn't exist in this one. Geez, I sound like a geek." Quagmire says.

"You're forgetting something guys, we're cartoons. We can cause trouble for other cartoons if we want to." said Peter.

"True that." Cleveland said. Peter leaks the virus and sends it to Luz's computer. Along with a suscription to McAfee.

"Uhhh, what's with the anti virus ware?" asked Cleveland. "It's a very expensive one. You'll see. When we have the characters from Owl House within our grasp. We'll get them to trust us, and then when they least expect it! BOOM! We rid of Owl House for good!" Peter explains his plan.

Joe wondered, "Who are the characters from this show you talk about anyway?"


At Luz's house after she got back from the Demon Realm. Amity was in her attic with Luz. They were going trying to find a way to get back into the Demon Realm.

"Come on! Find something, quick!" demanded Amity.

"I'm trying." said Luz.

"Raine Whispers told us we can come back though a computer." Amity remembered.

"OKay I think we got it. We just click here....Demon Realm back we go!" Luz says.

"We have no time to lose! Our powers are useless here in the real world." Amity says.

"Tell me about it." Luz answers back.

Luz clicked on something that looked like a vortex. It was a big mistake. There were seeing Triangle Signs with Exclaimation Points all over the computer.

"WARNING! WARNING! ALERT! ALERT! YOUR IDENITY IS ON THE DARK WEB!"

Luz and Amity screamed. The computer kept going, "YOUR COMPUTER HAS 50 VIRUSES!"

"Oh no! What'll we do?" asked Amity.

"Uhhh, maybe we can..."Luz said being cut off.

"WARNING! WARNING ALERT! ALERT! YOU HAVE NOW SCANNED 200 VIRUSES!"

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Luz screamed. Amity turned off the computer, and it seemed all was well.

"Keep it off for a while." said Amity. They waited 20 minutes and turned on the computer again. It was worse this time. "WARNING! WARNING! ALERT! ALERT! YOU NOW HAVE OVER 1000 VIRUSES! IF YOU WANT TO GET RID OF THIS VIRUS DOWNLOAD MCAFEE!"

"You gotta do what you gotta do!" Luz speaks. "Anything to get rid of this!" Amity agrees. Luz goes on McAfee's website and types in her name and all her info. Even her Mom's credit card number that was logged into the computer.

"It says right here you need to pay $75 dollars for a year subscription!" said Luz. "Go for it! It's the only way!" said Amity.

After downloading McAfee, a portal appeared on the computer. "Woah!" both Luz and Amity say. "Wow! Maybe this is the way to go back to the Demon Realm." Luz speculated.

"Hope my Mom doesn't find out I used her credit card." Luz said with worry. "If we're going back to the Demon Realm, they can erase the payment and the subscription." said Amity.

"Okay! Here's hoping." said Luz. Amity and Luz get sucked into the portal. Coming out the other end, they don't see the Demon Realm. Instead they found themselves in a familiar living room, surrounded by four animated men.
“Hey there!” said Peter Griffin, grinning. “Welcome to Quahog!”

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Luz and Amity blinked, disoriented. The air smelled faintly of beer and pizza, and the walls were adorned with quirky posters.

“Uh, where are we?” Luz asked, glancing around.

Amity’s eyes widened as she took in the scene. “I think we’re in… Quahog?”

“Quahog?” Luz repeated. “As in, the fictional town from ‘Family Guy’?”

“Exactly,” said a voice behind them. They turned to see Peter Griffin, Joe Swanson, Cleveland Brown, and Glenn Quagmire standing there, all wearing their signature outfits.

“Hey there!” Peter said, grinning. “As I've said before. Welcome to Quahog! You two must be new in town.”

Luz and Amity exchanged bewildered glances. “How did we end up here?” Amity wondered aloud.

“Well,” Peter began, scratching his chin, “you clicked on that computer portal thingy, right?”

“Yeah,” Luz confirmed. “But we were supposed to go back to the Demon Realm.”

Peter chuckled. “Computers can be tricky. Sometimes they take you to unexpected places. Like, one time, I accidentally ordered a lifetime supply of marshmallow fluff. It’s still sitting in my garage.”

Joe leaned on his cane. “So, you’re magical folks, huh? What kind of powers do you have?”

“We can do spells and stuff,” Luz explained. “But it doesn’t work here in the real world.”

Cleveland raised an eyebrow. “Spells, huh? Well, we’ve got our own brand of magic in Quahog. Like the time Stewie turned himself into a pickle.”

Amity squinted at him. “A pickle?”

“Yeah, it was a whole thing,” Cleveland said, shaking his head. “Anyway, you’re welcome to stay here. Just be prepared for some wacky adventures.” "They have no idea what they're in for.". Peter whispered.

Quagmire leaned in, his eyes gleaming from disdain. “From the looks of them I don't feel very giggity giggity goo!”

Luz and Amity exchanged another glance. “We just want to get back to the Demon Realm,” Luz said. “Any ideas?”

Peter scratched his head. “Hmm, maybe we can ask the giant chicken. He’s always causing trouble. Or we could visit the Drunken Clam for advice.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Amity said. “But first, can we borrow your computer? We need to cancel that McAfee subscription.”

"Not a chance!" Peter tells Luz and Amity.

"What do you mean?" asked Luz. "I set up that virus on your computer to bring you here." explains Peter.

Joe says, "Peter here was behind everything.". " then we got roped into it ". Quagmire tells ". We i am he is responsible for everything. The virus....The McAfee you name it." said Cleveland.

"What's going on here?" asked Amity.

"We brought you to our place because we want you two to do an old Saturday Night Live sketch." Peter announced his plan.

"Isn't that a comedy show?" asked Luz. "Yes it is. Then when you're done, we'll get rid of your McAfee subscription and send you to your Demon Realm!" said Peter.

"What sketch are we going to make them do?" asked Cleveland.

Well,” Peter began. "It’s the one where Christopher Walken asks for more cowbell during a Blue Öyster Cult recording session. But our cowbell player called in sick, and we need a replacement!”

Luz exchanged a glance with Amity. “Cowbell? Seriously?”

Joe nodded. “Hey, it’s a crucial instrument! And we can’t let the skit flop. So, what do you say? Can you channel your magical powers into some epic cowbell playing?”

Amity sighed. “I guess we don’t have much choice. But after this, we better find a way back to the Demon Realm.”

“Deal!” Peter said. “Let’s get you two set up with cowbells. And remember, more cowbell!”


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The Griffin living room was temporarly turned into a dimly lit recording studio. The air is thick with anticipation. Peter, Joe, Luz, and Amity stand around a makeshift stage, cowbells in hand. The spotlight flickers on, and Cleveland and Quagmire were the spectators.

Peter was dressed like Christopher Walken Now was leaning into the microphone. " Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Blue Öyster Cult recording session! Now, you all know the drill. We’re about to lay down some serious rock ‘n’ roll magic. But there’s just one tiny problem.”

Joe was playing the part of the procuder asks, “What’s that, Peter or should I say Christopher?”

"We need more cowbell.” Peter tells Luz and Amity.

Luz is rolling her eyes “Cowbell? Seriously? We’re a legendary rock band, not a barnyard ensemble.”

Amity holding the cowbell awkwardly speaks out, “I didn’t sign up for this.” "If this is for us to go back and get our names off McAfee." said Luz.

“Nonsense! Cowbell is the heartbeat of rock ‘n’ roll. As Huey Lewis once sang! It’s the secret ingredient—the cosmic spice that makes the music soar.” Quagmire announces.

Cleveland gets a word in, “And our regular cowbell player is out sick. So, Amity, you’re up!”

Amity who was glaring at the cowbell with contempt. “Fine. But after this, I’m hexing the next person who mentions cowbell.” Luz with a guitar said, "can I join?!"

Luz plays the guitar while Amity plays the cowbell. Playing The Reaper. Amity hesitantly strikes the cowbell, and the sound reverberates through the studio. Cleveland, Quagmire, Joe, and Peter all look at each other like they were planning something big.

“Yes! That’s it! More cowbell! Channel your inner rock goddess, Amity!” Peter cheers her on.

“I’m channeling something, alright.” Amity gruffs. Joe and Quagmire observe, "They don't look like they're enjoying it." "They're a younger generation. What do you expect?" Quagmire added on.

As the music builds, Amity gets into it. She swings the cowbell like a possessed conductor, eyes blazing. The

Luz whispers to Joe. “I can’t believe this is happening.” “It’s beautiful. Like watching a unicorn tap dance on a rainbow.” Joe implies.

Amity yells, "I am the cowbell queen! Hear me clang!”

The song reaches its end. Amity’s cowbell frenzy reaches epic proportions.

“Amity, you’ve transcended mere percussion. You’ve become a force of nature!” Quagmire says teary eyed. “I just want to go back to the Demon Realm.” Amity implies.


"As you wish!" Peter says. Opening the same portal where Luz and Amity fell though earlier. "What about my name on McAfee?" asked Luz. "Oh don't worry about that." said Amity. "Oh yeah that's right." Luz said.


Jumping though the portal on the computer. Peter, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland were glad the Owl House girls were gone.

"That portal doesn't lead to the Demon Realm doesn't it?" Quagmire rebuffs.

"No it doesn't!" said Peter.

Where does it lead to?" Cleveland asks.

"It leads to No One Knows!" laughs Peter.

Coming out of the portal. Luz and Amity think they're back in the Demon Realm. "Yes! We're back!" said Luz. "Finally, now let's go ask King Clawthrone if he can erase our names on..."


As Luz and Amity were walking along, they meet a white and red monster that is shaped like a weird looking arrow. "Ha! Just who I was expecting to see!" said the white and red monster.

"Who are you?" asked Luz. "I am McAfee!" answers the white and red monster! "Oh yeah? We have witch powers so you better watch it..." Amity tried to threaten.


"HA! Your powers are useless against me! McAfee!" said McAfee to the girls.

"Why do you say that?" asked Luz. "Yeah, this is the Demon Realm right, and we have witch powers..." Amity was about to go on.

McAfee tells the girls, "Oh no, this isn't the Demon Realm. You're still in the real world!"

"Where, exactly?" asked Luz with fright.

"Welcome to.....Chernobyl bitches!" McAfee laughs in a evil manner. "Oh no! Is this that place where the virus once was?" asked Amity. "Exactly!" McAfee says closing in on Luz and Amity. "I learned about that in school. Even did an overly creative book report about it. I actually spreaded
tons of germs thoughtout the school." Luz says.

"Forgot about school, and everything and everyone else you've ever known and loved!" McAfee begins to cackle uncontrollably.

"You want to kill us, right?" asked Luz. "Since you sold you souls to me. You both will be trapped in this bottle for all eternitity! Oh and by the way. You both doing that Saturday Night Live Cowbell sketch really sucked ass! Now prepare to be bottled!"

McAfee uses an evil force of fire and wind that spun around Luz and Amity. Both girls were screaming. Then Luz and Amity were both shrunk and were forced to fly inside the bottle that McAfee trapped souls into.

The scene switches back to the Griffin living room. "how did everything we get back to normal so fast?". Joe asks. " Dont forget we're a cartoon.". Peter recedes, who was watching the whole thing on the computer.

"Good! I'm glad we got rid of those obnoxious bitches!" Cleveland said. "Let this be a lesson to you all. If you sign up for McAfee, you just might get fucked in the ass by me! Peter Griffin!"

"So, want to head down to the Clam?" suggests Joe. "All right!" Quagmire said. "We'll be in time for the big game!". Cleveland recalled. " What's the game?". Quagmire asked.

"What do you think? Baseball!". Cleveland. " Oh I forgot it was baseball season. ". Quagmire retorts.

"Hey what other Disney cartoon will you trick into downloading McAfee next?" asked Joe. "You sound like a Fruit Roll Ups commercial! Anyhoo, I'll have to think about that." Peter said.

Thanks to Peter with the help of Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire. Owl House was no more. Long gone. Never to darken the doorways of television or the internet ever again!