FicWad

Chapter 12 - Written Fears & a Blank Canvass

"Why don't you read the letters?" He asked,

With her head resting on his lap and one of their hands holding tightly to each other for moral support, she closed her eyes and thought about the answer to that question.

"The truth?" She asked, her eyebrows raising, she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"I'm scared that if I open them and if I let her back into this life I have with Rory......That she will take him away from me!"

His free hand gently brushed the hair on her forehead back, over and over, gently sweeping her skin.

"Can she do that?"

"I don't know, I kind of....keep skipping that question.....I don't think I want to know the answer!" She said and let out a little smile.

"They wouldn't allow it, you're an amazing person Shay, and you're an amazing Mom!" He said emphatically. She smiled bashfully and covered her face with her hand.

"What?? You are!" He smiled, taking her hand away. She blushed and closed her eyes tight, she couldn't look at him, he'd totally embarrassed her.

"I'm sorry - Shay - I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed......C'mon!" He smiled and pushed her up and pulled her into him.

She finally looked at him and she went to speak but the words wouldn't come out. She used her own stammering techniques and laughed gently.

"I get embarrassed because I have this title of Mom and I have this child and all the delights with it and yet....." She stopped and looked at him again, his eyes were on hers and she noted at that point how incredible those eyes were.

"I've been so caught up in these things that I never had time to have a love life or any decent social life!" she half explained.

"I mean....seriously.....no love life......" She said, trying to get the difficult embarrassing truth across.

"I don't believe you, you're gorgeous - you telling me you didn't have a boyfriend at all?" He smiled, she instantly got the blushes and swallowed hard.

"I was such a geek at school, and I wouldn't speak and I had no breasts!" She said, he laughed hard.

"That changed!" He smiled, she giggled and nodded.

"Yeah it did...." She said and her smile went and she was getting frustrated with herself.

She looked at him again, trying to think of how to explain this to him without freaking him out or making him uncomfortable.

"I guess the point I'm making is that I've never had a proper relationship, don't be fooled by the fact I do this Mom thing.......Because when it comes to the man things I'm just completely hopeless!"

All he was doing was smiling at her. It annoyed her: 'Why wasn't he helping her out?? Asking more questions - Damn - Don't just accept these idiosyncrasies, pull them up and ask me about them!!' She was raging in her head.

She stared at him for a few moments with the cutest expression, she opened her lips to talk again and again it stuck to the tip of her tongue, she smiled and he smiled back. What a bunch of dorks they were.

"Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?" She asked, shaking her head.

"No...." He said, with a little raise of his eyebrows.

"Boy, you have no idea of the blank canvass you're dealing with!"

"Do I have to?" He asked,

"Why do you make everything so easy?" She asked

"Because it is easy Shay."

"Then why do I find it so hard to get out my thoughts!" She asked, quizzing.

"Because you talk too much!" he said with a smug grin on his face.

"I told you I'm hopeless!" She whispered as he pulled her in closer, she moved across his lap and allowed herself a kiss.

"You're not hopeless Shay!" He said softly and pressed a kiss gently on her lips.

She remained quiet as they gently shared soft kisses. She could feel her hands shaking already, the sensations of being intimate with someone after waiting so long was too much for her nerves to cope with. For him to slowly open her lips and deepen the kiss just deepened the buzzing pulse that was charging through her body. When he heard that soft moan that had obviously escaped unwittingly from her lips, it made him feel so good inside.

There's a major part of a man's psychology that is solely devoted to pleasing women, it can be done through many channels of execution but there was something profound in being able to feel a woman respond to your touch.

They enjoyed this new part of their relationship, for where they were at, this amount of physical interaction was enough to have them both brimming with pleasure.

"I should probably get going!" He whispered with a little laugh.

"If that's what you want!" She whispered,

"No well of course I'd rather stay here with you but-"

"-Then stay Patrick." She smiled.

His face was a picture, she quickly snapped it and tucked it in her memory book.

She got a little embarrassed at how her invitation must have sounded, and hoped he got the right end of her verbal stick.

"Only if you want to!" She said with a big 'It's no big deal!' smile of hers.

She'd warmed up a bottle before getting ready for bed and he followed her down the hall and she opened a door. It was a simple room , obviously a guest room, there were only a couple of things on the chest of drawers over by the window, he remembered then this must have been where her Mom stayed.

"I have a choice of rooms!" She smiled and he peered inside.

"This is a nice room and you get the sunshine in the morning, the bed's good too!" She said with a little giggle.

She swept across the other side of the hall and opened the door to another bedroom that was just as simple however a huge bed and a cot.

"This is also a nice room, you get the sunshine in the morning and the bed's amazing!" She explained, he laughed and she took his hand gently.

"Not wanting to be biased but this room's totally better!" She whispered, leaning back against the door post.

A smile came over her face and it was a beautiful one, slapped with shyness and full of 'Shay'ness.

He came in slowly and she was leaning into the cot.

"Hey baby..." She whispered, she lifted Rory and he flopped over her shoulder. She sat against her headboard and gave him his bottle. He got on the bed next to her and watched for a while.

"He's totally copping a feel - this boy's not stupid!" Patrick laughed as Rory's hand gently rested on her breast.

"Patrick!" She whined and he laughed again.

"You want to me to do it?" He asked and Shay looked at him, this boy was making all the right moves to win her already won heart.

"Sure!" She grinned, happy to have someone help. She handed him over and he gently took Rory and she helped him put the bottle at the right angle.

"Make sure he doesn't suck any air in - he gets really bad wind!" She smiled as she pulled herself off the bed and into her ensuite bathroom.

She came out a few minutes later in her PJ's and she pulled her hair out of the band it was in and she flopped on the bed gently. Rory had gone to sleep and she looked at Patrick.

"Good job Patty!" She said, she received 'the' look and she grinned wide.

"I'm not apologizing this time!" She said and she took Rory and after smothering him in kisses, put him in his cot.

Turning she saw him slipping off his hat and his glasses too. She laid down on the bed pulled the sheets over her.

"I put a toothbrush out for you, it's new one!" She said.

"Thank you!" He said and shuffled off to the bathroom.
He gently sat on the bed and pulled his legs over, facing this woman who's face had frequently teased his night and day dreams for the past few months.

"Now come and put those arms around me!" She whispered and shuffled closer. Doing as he was told, he slipped an arm underneath her waist and pulled her closer.

Within minutes, she had fallen asleep, not even knowingly. You had those nights when you fought sleep but you found slumber dragging you into the pillow and you would do your best to open your eyes and recollect those thoughts of the day but it was just too strong.