Categories > Cartoons > Daria > Silent Cynic
The Silent Cynic
By Dr. T
Chapter 24—Winter Strikes
One the one hand, the Loomises took the idea of a big family Christmas seriously. On the other hand, this meant at least fifteen for Christmas dinner at Troy’s older brother’s house (as that was the largest house in the family) – more if any in-laws attended, as some often did. This year, there would have been twenty-one. Therefore, Mrs. Loomis could hardly say that dinner wouldn’t be crowded – four tables in three rooms. So, when Troy asked if he could have Christmas dinner with Daria, she had merely scowled rather than launch into an immediate guilt trip as she usually would.
Troy had then promised to be involved in all the earlier day’s activities, and also reminded his mother that all three of his siblings had also attended their significant others’ holidays while dating. Mrs. Loomis thought about that, and admitted to herself that while she dominated her husband and came close to doing the same with her children and their spouses, Daria would not be intimidated or dominated. If the pair stayed together, she would actually have to build a relationship, and one that wouldn’t be one-way in her favor.
She didn’t like that idea at all, but she realized that she might have to live with it. “I see,” she said, stalling for time. Finally, she said, “If it’s fine with Helen, then of course you may. Would you invite Daria over here for lunch, if they aren’t eating dinner too early? She can come over to watch the kids opening their presents or after.”
Troy nodded; this was a better deal, or at least one that came with less haggling, than he had anticipated. “I’ll ask.”
When put to Daria, she had shrugged and simply told him she was willing to go along with what he thought best. When they had consulted Helen, she had agreed to have Christmas dinner that evening rather than in the afternoon. Jane and Trent would be over for Christmas dinner in any event, and as Trent had a Christmas Eve gig that would last well past 1:00 am, he was unlikely to be functional until mid-afternoon at the earliest at best.
Daria had rarely had to deal with those younger than Quinn as they had grown up. Troy’s six niblings ranged in age from one in kindergarten to one in sixth grade, and to Daria’s surprise they all seemed to get along moderately well. It had probably helped that this was the second round of presents for the youngsters, and that they had more presents to look forward to. Daria had arrived at 8:45, and Troy’s family started arriving a few minutes afterwards. The kids had torn into the huge pile of presents from 9:15-10:15, their parents, grandparents, uncle, and Daria watching indulgently, drinking coffee or (for Mrs. Loomis and Daria) tea. The invasion had lasted until a little after 10:40, and they were all gone well before 11:00. Mrs. Loomis gratefully accepted Daria’s help in cleaning up all the packaging and wrapping, while Troy and his father took turns taking the trash out.
When the last loads had been taken out, Daria turned to the large paper sack she had brought and which Mrs. Loomis had been staring at off-and-on since its arrival. Daria knew that Troy’s father read westerns while his mother read romance novels. She was pleased to see Mr. Loomis’ face light up at ‘Riders of the Purple Sage’ and ‘The Ox-Bow Incident’ – two classics he had not read in decades. Mrs. Loomis had heard of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and had seen the film ‘Gone With the Wind’ several times but had never read either of the novels. Helen had also sent over a pecan pie for the Loomis’s to take to the family buffet dinner that night, which Mrs. Loomis appreciated, even if the pie had been ’store-bought’.
The ever-practical Mr. Loomis gave Daria a gift certificate for an oil change, while Mrs. Loomis gave her a number of Avon products. While most of those would be donated to Quinn (and possibly Jane), Daria still smiled and signed ‘thank you.’
As the pair walked arm-in-arm to Daria’s after lunch (beef stew), Troy asked, “What did you think of the horde?”
Letting go of his arm, Daria answered, ‘Not as bad as I thought; I do not care for children. Never did, even when I was one, but they seemed like an okay group.’
“I’m sure the horde will grow by at least one or two more well before we think about adding to it.”
Daria looked troubled, but said, ‘I do not know how I feel about giving birth to one, let alone raising them.’
“I understand. I have to admit, I know some people who seem to adore little kids, but I really don’t have a lot of interest in babies or toddlers.”
‘So, not something we have to consider for some time to come.’
“Good point.” The pair linked arms, and continued on.
Daria certainly enjoyed the rest of her winter break. Some of her time was spent with Troy, some with Troy and Jane, and most of the rest with just Jane. No one really noticed that as midnight struck on New Year’s Eve, Daria gave first Troy and then Jane very deep and public kisses at the Zon. On the whole, therefore, Troy was happy with both his break and the prospects for the future when he left to return to Georgetown in early January.
Jane and Daria were also fairly content when they returned to Lawndale High the next day. As they passed the principal’s office on the way to their homeroom, they spied Upchuck trying to peek through the old-fashioned keyhole.
“Careful, you might go blind,” Jane teased.
Looking up, Charles grinned, “I have better taste than that.” Daria gave that a shrug and signed, ‘Not so far as we have ever seen.’ Despite Jane’s chortle at that, Charles went on, ignoring their by-play, “It looks like things might get ‘strike-o-licious.’ The two sides are far apart, and the faculty reps are getting frustrated.”
Seeing Daria roll her eyes, Jane commented to him, “Yeah, that might bother the few academic-types like her and Jodie, but not the rest of us.”
Daria frowned and signed, ‘At this point, I do not really care either.’ Seeing Jane’s surprise, she explained, ‘All our applications are out; nothing we really do at this point really matters in that regard. We just have to graduate.’
Seeing Charles was actually curious, Jane told him what Daria had said. After a moment’s thought, he nodded. “I suppose it might affect some merit-based scholarships, but on the whole that’s about right. A long strike would affect the juniors more than it would us.”
Sure enough, a few periods later, Ms Li made the announcement, “Due to an unprecedented show of spite – err spine – no, I mean the teachers have decided to strike. Please treat tomorrow as an in-service day. Classes will resume on Wednesday.” She clicked off the microphone so that no one heard her comment, “Even if I need other teachers.” She looked at the pile of possible strike-breakers she had already gone through twice, and sighed. There weren’t a lot of choices. She clicked the microphone on again. “Also, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane, please come to the office.”
Jane and Daria looked at each other and shrugged.
“Sit down, please.”
Cautiously, Daria and Jane did so.
Ms Li smiled, and the girls nearly quaked from nervousness. “Ms Morgendorffer, I think after two years I know you well enough to know that you prefer that I not to beat around the bush. So, I know Mister Loomis took various CLEP exams. Are you planning on doing the same?”
Daria nodded and pointed to Jane, who piped up as Li looked at her. “We both are. I’m planning on doing at least the Social Science and Spanish ones, Daria those and a whole bunch more.”
“How would you both like to take them tomorrow, paid for by Laaawndale High? In addition, assuming you earn grades on the exams you like, they would become your grades for the final trimester, and half the grade for this one. You would still have to attend school, even if you pass all your current academic classes, but could spend it writing or,” she said, looking at Jane, “in the art area.” She had few worries about Daria; Li had in fact recommended after Daria’s sophomore year that she be skipped to her senior year, and after her junior year that she should be graduated a year early. Mrs. Morgendorffer had refused both offers, citing Daria’s need for additional socialization.
Seeing the look of doubt on Daria’s face, Li added, “I will speak to your mother, to ensure this is acceptable. As you both no doubt know, the CLEP replaces college general education classes. They act as transfer credits. You can transfer up to half the credits required for a degree at most universities, no matter if they are from CLEP or from attending another college.” She smiled, not a reassuring sight. “For example, may I assume you are both planning on applying to the Chesapeake Regional College of the Arts*?” This was a joint institution run by the states of Maryland, Virginia, and Delaware as well as Washington DC, located southeast of the Capitol in Lexington Park, Maryland, and was funded as a state institution by all four.
They both nodded.
“Then they would accept up to sixty transfer credits. Most other colleges have similar policies, even if the details differ.”
Daria signed, which Jane interpreted as “Two questions. First of all, why?”
“To be frank, I may have difficulty getting acceptable warm bodies into the classrooms during the strike. An acquaintance of mine is willing to come in and monitor a class, but she does not feel up to standing in front of a class all day for possibly days on end. The deal is, you, with Ms Lane interpreting, will act as an instructor under her supervision. To anticipate what might be a question, you can come here tomorrow morning and start the exams at eight-thirty. Each exam is timed, but if you really want to take all day, you could take up to six.”
“Daria wants a moment to think about it,” Jane told Ms Li.
Daira thought hard – there was a moral principle involved – she liked unions, and did not want to be a scab. On the other hand, there were obviously going to be substitutes, and there were huge possible gains for her and Jane – not to mention for her and Jane as a couple. Plus, if her mother heard of the offer, she’d likely be stuck in front of a classroom in any event, CLEP exams or not. As much as she disliked the circumstances, there was only one real choice for her.
Daria therefore nodded and turned to Jane, signing, who signed back briefly. Jane turned to Ms Li and told her, “If Mrs. Morgendorffer signs off for us,” (Ms Li knew Helen had Amanda’s authorization to act for Jane) “we’ll be here.”
Ms Li handed Daria a brochure. “Decide which exams you wish to try and give it to my secretary before you leave today.” She glanced at the wall clock. “Your lunch starts in less than fifteen minutes, so go to lunch rather than disturbing your class.”
Thanking Ms Li, and pair left. Jane then sat Daria down in the empty cafeteria and simply asked, “Why?”
‘Why not?’
Deciding to be discreet, Jane signed, ‘You do not mind being a strike-breaker?’
‘I do, but if Mom learns of this – and I am sure Ms Li would have told her no matter what we said in there – she would have us doing this even if we no longer need things for applications. So, if we both earn at least thirty transfer credits, we can live off campus from the start. And yes, I will be a scab and, if it is possible and you think we need to, I will work with you to cheat like hell to ensure you earn enough credits so that we are together.’ She stopped and made Jane fully face her. ‘I love you, and I will do nearly anything for us.’
Jane flushed with pleasure at that, but then slyly asked, ‘How far is it between Chesapeake and Georgetown?’
‘Highway distance? I think about eighty-four miles.’
Jane thought. ‘Do you really think we could cheat without getting caught?’
Daria smirked. She signed Jane up for three exams, and six for herself. They returned the request to the office and went back for lunch. After school, Daria took Jane on a trip to an electronics store before going home to see what Helen had to say.
What Helen had to say boiled down to ‘Convince me.’ She had only a few qualms about the teaching; as Daria had anticipated she wanted assurances about the CLEP.
Daria laid out the economic benefits of skipping at least a year of undergraduate classes and reasons why skipping gen ed credits would not damage either her or Jane’s actual education. Daria did not know her mother had refused to allow her to graduate early, but upon consideration, Helen decided that her arguments about that earlier idea would not be valid in this case, and that there was really no good reason to object. Granted, this likely meant Daria and Jane would get a (one-bedroom?) apartment rather than living on campus, but they would have been rooming together in any event if they attended the same college.
The next morning, the two teens were at the school’s office at 8:20, pencils at the ready.
Ms Li showed them into the conference room attached to her office. “Sit on opposite sides of the table, please. Ms Morgendorffer, you have a calculator?” This would be needed for some math problems and a few physics ones. Daria nodded. “And I see you have pencils and have nothing else. I will be in my office, conducting interviews for replacement teachers. If you finish an exam early, knock on my door. You will of course not be taking the same exam at the same time. Any questions?”
Both teens shook their heads, and Ms Li handed each a test booklet and left the room. Daria then slipped a small electronic bug detector out of her jacket’s inner pocket. She found that while there were no cameras, there were two microphones. Daria smiled.
Daria had no problems with any of the exams. She was taking the social sciences, science, math, and three language exams (Spanish, French, and German). She easily would complete the social sciences and Spanish exams in about a third of the time limit, even with double checking (as opposed to her usual quadruple checking). The math and science exams, she would complete in about two-thirds of the time, the other two language exams in about three-quarters.
This gave her plenty of time to help Jane, checking her answers on the social sciences and Spanish exams. She had also signed Jane up for the American Lit/basic English exam. Daria would not take that, as her SAT and SAT proficiency exam scores exempted her from most colleges’ basic writing courses, and she wanted to take the Lit classes.
Ms Li was slightly surprised when the teens finished each exam early. They went to lunch at 11:20, and during the afternoon, Li allowed Jane to sit in the conference room sketching while Daria finished. She then asked Daria (and Jane) to stay until 3:15.
“I am sure you did well,” she told them, if mostly addressing Daria. “At the moment, to my surprise, I am only possibly short two instructors, and those in areas I did not anticipate problems. In any event, would you prefer taking over for Mister Demartino or Mister O’Neill? I ask about them, rather than the other language arts or social science instructors since you are more familiar with their supplementary course materials.” The actual textbooks were of course standardized.
“All things being equal, it might be better to substitute for Mister O’Neill,” Jane interpreted. “Why?” she asked Daria before Li could. As Daria responded, Jane nodded. “Oh, okay. She reminded me that there will be a fair amount of in-class reading by the class for the freshmen and juniors. That would make things easier.”
“Very well. Be here tomorrow at eight. Please dress a bit more professionally.” Li smiled a bit. “Feel free to keep the boots.”
Daria and Jane returned the tiny smile. As they turned to leave, Li spoke up, “Come see me during your free period Friday. Your scores may be back by then.”
Mr. O’Neill had six classes that day (while his after-school self-esteem class was being taken over by Ms. Manson, who did not count as teaching staff and who was partially substituting in the sciences). He had one section each for each grade, and a second one for sophomores and seniors. The other day of the alternating schedule had the opposite ratio. Unlike many other teachers, he did not have to monitor a study hall. The first period was a sophomore class, while Quinn’s section was the second period. The opening of each period class would be mostly like the other five.
First of all, however, Daria and Jane met the retired teacher who would be monitoring them. To Daria’s surprise, Jane’s face lit up and she actually went and hugged a pleasantly plump, short (about four foot eleven) women in the late sixties. “Missus Taylor!”*
“Hello, Jane dear,” she answered. “So good to see you. Please introduce me to your friend.”
“Daria,” the smiling Jane said, “this is my fifth-grade teacher and greatest elementary teacher of all time, Missus Taylor. Missus Taylor, this is my best friend, Daria Morgendorffer.”
“Pleased to meet you, dear. Now show me the classroom; we’ll get things set up, then make sure you use the ladies’ room before homeroom – bathroom breaks, or rather the lack of them, is not as bad as it is in elementary school, and with three of us it will be even less of a problem, but it’s still real.”
‘She’s not related to Brittany, is she?’ Daria asked later as the two headed back to class after using the restroom.
“Her great aunt,” Jane replied.
Second Period
Jane: “Good morning class. As you can see, things are a bit different in this class as opposed to the other substitutes. Some of you, maybe most of you, already know one or more of us. For those of you who did not attend Main Elementary, this is Missus Taylor. She is supervising. Those of you who did attend Main, know you do NOT act up in class!” About a third of the class smiled but also nodded. She had been a favorite if moderately strict teacher even for those students who were not in her classes. “This of course is Daria Morgendorffer, who is leading the class. As most of you know, while she cannot speak, she has excellent hearing. I am Jane Lane, and I am her Sign Language interpreter. In class, in school in fact, please address us as Ms Morgendorffer and Ms Lane. Yes, she is Quinn Morgendorffer’s sister, but even she will address us that way in school. If you have a question, address it to Ms Morgendorffer, then I will interpret her response. Any questions? No? Seeing none….” Jane gestured to Daria.
‘I know Mister O’Neill assigns a Shakespeare play in the mid-trimester of junior year. What is it this year?’ Quinn nudged Stacy, who raised her hand. ‘Ms Rowe?’
“Romeo and Juliet.”
‘And what did you do Monday? I remind you all I will be able to go through his lesson plans tonight, so be accurate.’
Quinn sighed and raised her hand. “He told us last week we would start reading it in class this week. I don’t know if we were done with the background info Monday; I think we were. We didn’t actually do much on Monday, other than get copies of the play.”
Daria nodded and went to the back of the classroom to search the bookshelves, quickly locating two copies. ‘May we assume you did not bring your copies?’ No one volunteered. ‘Fine. Anyone want to volunteer to start?’ Again, no one raised a hand. Daria nodded and quickly marked one copy in pencil. She handed it to a girl in a front row corner desk. ‘Read until the first pencil mark, then pass it back and repeat the process twice. By then, I should have this copy marked ahead for reading. Please bring your copies to the next class so you can all follow along.’
And so the week went. Mrs. Taylor was complimentary to both Daria and Jane, and enough of the students knew her from her teaching days that Daria was given no trouble (other than her and Jane getting a few dirty looks at Pizza Prince after school).
That Friday, the duo came to their appointment during their free period. Ms Li saw them after about a ten-minute wait. “Good news, your scores did arrive this morning.” Daria and Jane exchanged brief looks; this was a very fast turnaround. Ms Li obviously had connections.
She handed them their envelopes and asked them to open them so she could record the scores if they wanted them to count as their Lawndale grades. Jane signaled for Daria to go ahead. She did, glanced at them, smiled slightly and then frowned. She handed them to Jane to look at and then passed on to Ms Li. Jane did so. Daria had scored As on all five parts of the social sciences exam (American History 1 & 2, Government, World History 1 & 2), all four parts of Spanish, biology, chemistry, general math, algebra & trigonometry, and the first three parts of German and French. She had scored an A- on the fourth part of French, and B+s on the fourth part of German, Calculus, and Physics. While she would likely be given credit for 69 gen ed credits, most schools would likely just count 60 towards graduation, while she would have to make up the other nine credits.
While Ms Li glanced at Daria’s scores with satisfaction, Jane opened hers and then then showed them to Daria. Jane had scored As in American History 1 & 2, Government, and Spanish 1 & 2; A-s in Spanish 3 and English; and Bs in World History 1 & 2, Spanish 4, and American Lit 1 & 2, for 36 credits.
“Kudos to you both,” Ms Li told them. She didn’t doubt that the pair had somehow cheated to help Jane, but there was really no proof. Granted, Jane had tested a bit higher than her grades suggested, but not outrageously so. She decided not to push it. As for Daria and Jane, they were thrilled to be out of most of their gen ed and Lawndale classes, especially Daria, who had been largely bored in class since kindergarten. She still had art, economics, language arts (now without Jane’s company), and worst of all, gym, but she could live with that. Jane had art, economics, gym, and worst of all, trigonometry (she wasn’t taking a science that year). “Missus Taylor also has been very complimentary. Again, kudos, and thank you.” With that, she dismissed them. She had to try and find someone to replace Mrs. Stoller, who was shakier than anticipated, and then meet again with the strike committee. She didn’t know it, but a report of possible predatory sexual harassment would be called in while she was dealing with the strike committee after school hours.
As the strike continued into the second week of school, Daria and Jane started going to Lawndale State in the evenings as her one-act play started rehearsals. This was not every night, but was once or twice a week from 6:00-7:30 (any day or two, Monday through Thursday). While Daria wasn’t thrilled by two actors with minor parts, overall she was happy where the production was going with her ideas.
*Not a real university.
*Nope, not Mrs. Stoller – Demartino’s students still have to deal with her. As for ‘Ken,’ he is teaching the other sections of Language Arts – for a short time. It just isn’t the Morgendorffers who turn him in.
By Dr. T
Chapter 24—Winter Strikes
One the one hand, the Loomises took the idea of a big family Christmas seriously. On the other hand, this meant at least fifteen for Christmas dinner at Troy’s older brother’s house (as that was the largest house in the family) – more if any in-laws attended, as some often did. This year, there would have been twenty-one. Therefore, Mrs. Loomis could hardly say that dinner wouldn’t be crowded – four tables in three rooms. So, when Troy asked if he could have Christmas dinner with Daria, she had merely scowled rather than launch into an immediate guilt trip as she usually would.
Troy had then promised to be involved in all the earlier day’s activities, and also reminded his mother that all three of his siblings had also attended their significant others’ holidays while dating. Mrs. Loomis thought about that, and admitted to herself that while she dominated her husband and came close to doing the same with her children and their spouses, Daria would not be intimidated or dominated. If the pair stayed together, she would actually have to build a relationship, and one that wouldn’t be one-way in her favor.
She didn’t like that idea at all, but she realized that she might have to live with it. “I see,” she said, stalling for time. Finally, she said, “If it’s fine with Helen, then of course you may. Would you invite Daria over here for lunch, if they aren’t eating dinner too early? She can come over to watch the kids opening their presents or after.”
Troy nodded; this was a better deal, or at least one that came with less haggling, than he had anticipated. “I’ll ask.”
When put to Daria, she had shrugged and simply told him she was willing to go along with what he thought best. When they had consulted Helen, she had agreed to have Christmas dinner that evening rather than in the afternoon. Jane and Trent would be over for Christmas dinner in any event, and as Trent had a Christmas Eve gig that would last well past 1:00 am, he was unlikely to be functional until mid-afternoon at the earliest at best.
Daria had rarely had to deal with those younger than Quinn as they had grown up. Troy’s six niblings ranged in age from one in kindergarten to one in sixth grade, and to Daria’s surprise they all seemed to get along moderately well. It had probably helped that this was the second round of presents for the youngsters, and that they had more presents to look forward to. Daria had arrived at 8:45, and Troy’s family started arriving a few minutes afterwards. The kids had torn into the huge pile of presents from 9:15-10:15, their parents, grandparents, uncle, and Daria watching indulgently, drinking coffee or (for Mrs. Loomis and Daria) tea. The invasion had lasted until a little after 10:40, and they were all gone well before 11:00. Mrs. Loomis gratefully accepted Daria’s help in cleaning up all the packaging and wrapping, while Troy and his father took turns taking the trash out.
When the last loads had been taken out, Daria turned to the large paper sack she had brought and which Mrs. Loomis had been staring at off-and-on since its arrival. Daria knew that Troy’s father read westerns while his mother read romance novels. She was pleased to see Mr. Loomis’ face light up at ‘Riders of the Purple Sage’ and ‘The Ox-Bow Incident’ – two classics he had not read in decades. Mrs. Loomis had heard of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and had seen the film ‘Gone With the Wind’ several times but had never read either of the novels. Helen had also sent over a pecan pie for the Loomis’s to take to the family buffet dinner that night, which Mrs. Loomis appreciated, even if the pie had been ’store-bought’.
The ever-practical Mr. Loomis gave Daria a gift certificate for an oil change, while Mrs. Loomis gave her a number of Avon products. While most of those would be donated to Quinn (and possibly Jane), Daria still smiled and signed ‘thank you.’
As the pair walked arm-in-arm to Daria’s after lunch (beef stew), Troy asked, “What did you think of the horde?”
Letting go of his arm, Daria answered, ‘Not as bad as I thought; I do not care for children. Never did, even when I was one, but they seemed like an okay group.’
“I’m sure the horde will grow by at least one or two more well before we think about adding to it.”
Daria looked troubled, but said, ‘I do not know how I feel about giving birth to one, let alone raising them.’
“I understand. I have to admit, I know some people who seem to adore little kids, but I really don’t have a lot of interest in babies or toddlers.”
‘So, not something we have to consider for some time to come.’
“Good point.” The pair linked arms, and continued on.
Daria certainly enjoyed the rest of her winter break. Some of her time was spent with Troy, some with Troy and Jane, and most of the rest with just Jane. No one really noticed that as midnight struck on New Year’s Eve, Daria gave first Troy and then Jane very deep and public kisses at the Zon. On the whole, therefore, Troy was happy with both his break and the prospects for the future when he left to return to Georgetown in early January.
Jane and Daria were also fairly content when they returned to Lawndale High the next day. As they passed the principal’s office on the way to their homeroom, they spied Upchuck trying to peek through the old-fashioned keyhole.
“Careful, you might go blind,” Jane teased.
Looking up, Charles grinned, “I have better taste than that.” Daria gave that a shrug and signed, ‘Not so far as we have ever seen.’ Despite Jane’s chortle at that, Charles went on, ignoring their by-play, “It looks like things might get ‘strike-o-licious.’ The two sides are far apart, and the faculty reps are getting frustrated.”
Seeing Daria roll her eyes, Jane commented to him, “Yeah, that might bother the few academic-types like her and Jodie, but not the rest of us.”
Daria frowned and signed, ‘At this point, I do not really care either.’ Seeing Jane’s surprise, she explained, ‘All our applications are out; nothing we really do at this point really matters in that regard. We just have to graduate.’
Seeing Charles was actually curious, Jane told him what Daria had said. After a moment’s thought, he nodded. “I suppose it might affect some merit-based scholarships, but on the whole that’s about right. A long strike would affect the juniors more than it would us.”
Sure enough, a few periods later, Ms Li made the announcement, “Due to an unprecedented show of spite – err spine – no, I mean the teachers have decided to strike. Please treat tomorrow as an in-service day. Classes will resume on Wednesday.” She clicked off the microphone so that no one heard her comment, “Even if I need other teachers.” She looked at the pile of possible strike-breakers she had already gone through twice, and sighed. There weren’t a lot of choices. She clicked the microphone on again. “Also, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane, please come to the office.”
Jane and Daria looked at each other and shrugged.
“Sit down, please.”
Cautiously, Daria and Jane did so.
Ms Li smiled, and the girls nearly quaked from nervousness. “Ms Morgendorffer, I think after two years I know you well enough to know that you prefer that I not to beat around the bush. So, I know Mister Loomis took various CLEP exams. Are you planning on doing the same?”
Daria nodded and pointed to Jane, who piped up as Li looked at her. “We both are. I’m planning on doing at least the Social Science and Spanish ones, Daria those and a whole bunch more.”
“How would you both like to take them tomorrow, paid for by Laaawndale High? In addition, assuming you earn grades on the exams you like, they would become your grades for the final trimester, and half the grade for this one. You would still have to attend school, even if you pass all your current academic classes, but could spend it writing or,” she said, looking at Jane, “in the art area.” She had few worries about Daria; Li had in fact recommended after Daria’s sophomore year that she be skipped to her senior year, and after her junior year that she should be graduated a year early. Mrs. Morgendorffer had refused both offers, citing Daria’s need for additional socialization.
Seeing the look of doubt on Daria’s face, Li added, “I will speak to your mother, to ensure this is acceptable. As you both no doubt know, the CLEP replaces college general education classes. They act as transfer credits. You can transfer up to half the credits required for a degree at most universities, no matter if they are from CLEP or from attending another college.” She smiled, not a reassuring sight. “For example, may I assume you are both planning on applying to the Chesapeake Regional College of the Arts*?” This was a joint institution run by the states of Maryland, Virginia, and Delaware as well as Washington DC, located southeast of the Capitol in Lexington Park, Maryland, and was funded as a state institution by all four.
They both nodded.
“Then they would accept up to sixty transfer credits. Most other colleges have similar policies, even if the details differ.”
Daria signed, which Jane interpreted as “Two questions. First of all, why?”
“To be frank, I may have difficulty getting acceptable warm bodies into the classrooms during the strike. An acquaintance of mine is willing to come in and monitor a class, but she does not feel up to standing in front of a class all day for possibly days on end. The deal is, you, with Ms Lane interpreting, will act as an instructor under her supervision. To anticipate what might be a question, you can come here tomorrow morning and start the exams at eight-thirty. Each exam is timed, but if you really want to take all day, you could take up to six.”
“Daria wants a moment to think about it,” Jane told Ms Li.
Daira thought hard – there was a moral principle involved – she liked unions, and did not want to be a scab. On the other hand, there were obviously going to be substitutes, and there were huge possible gains for her and Jane – not to mention for her and Jane as a couple. Plus, if her mother heard of the offer, she’d likely be stuck in front of a classroom in any event, CLEP exams or not. As much as she disliked the circumstances, there was only one real choice for her.
Daria therefore nodded and turned to Jane, signing, who signed back briefly. Jane turned to Ms Li and told her, “If Mrs. Morgendorffer signs off for us,” (Ms Li knew Helen had Amanda’s authorization to act for Jane) “we’ll be here.”
Ms Li handed Daria a brochure. “Decide which exams you wish to try and give it to my secretary before you leave today.” She glanced at the wall clock. “Your lunch starts in less than fifteen minutes, so go to lunch rather than disturbing your class.”
Thanking Ms Li, and pair left. Jane then sat Daria down in the empty cafeteria and simply asked, “Why?”
‘Why not?’
Deciding to be discreet, Jane signed, ‘You do not mind being a strike-breaker?’
‘I do, but if Mom learns of this – and I am sure Ms Li would have told her no matter what we said in there – she would have us doing this even if we no longer need things for applications. So, if we both earn at least thirty transfer credits, we can live off campus from the start. And yes, I will be a scab and, if it is possible and you think we need to, I will work with you to cheat like hell to ensure you earn enough credits so that we are together.’ She stopped and made Jane fully face her. ‘I love you, and I will do nearly anything for us.’
Jane flushed with pleasure at that, but then slyly asked, ‘How far is it between Chesapeake and Georgetown?’
‘Highway distance? I think about eighty-four miles.’
Jane thought. ‘Do you really think we could cheat without getting caught?’
Daria smirked. She signed Jane up for three exams, and six for herself. They returned the request to the office and went back for lunch. After school, Daria took Jane on a trip to an electronics store before going home to see what Helen had to say.
What Helen had to say boiled down to ‘Convince me.’ She had only a few qualms about the teaching; as Daria had anticipated she wanted assurances about the CLEP.
Daria laid out the economic benefits of skipping at least a year of undergraduate classes and reasons why skipping gen ed credits would not damage either her or Jane’s actual education. Daria did not know her mother had refused to allow her to graduate early, but upon consideration, Helen decided that her arguments about that earlier idea would not be valid in this case, and that there was really no good reason to object. Granted, this likely meant Daria and Jane would get a (one-bedroom?) apartment rather than living on campus, but they would have been rooming together in any event if they attended the same college.
The next morning, the two teens were at the school’s office at 8:20, pencils at the ready.
Ms Li showed them into the conference room attached to her office. “Sit on opposite sides of the table, please. Ms Morgendorffer, you have a calculator?” This would be needed for some math problems and a few physics ones. Daria nodded. “And I see you have pencils and have nothing else. I will be in my office, conducting interviews for replacement teachers. If you finish an exam early, knock on my door. You will of course not be taking the same exam at the same time. Any questions?”
Both teens shook their heads, and Ms Li handed each a test booklet and left the room. Daria then slipped a small electronic bug detector out of her jacket’s inner pocket. She found that while there were no cameras, there were two microphones. Daria smiled.
Daria had no problems with any of the exams. She was taking the social sciences, science, math, and three language exams (Spanish, French, and German). She easily would complete the social sciences and Spanish exams in about a third of the time limit, even with double checking (as opposed to her usual quadruple checking). The math and science exams, she would complete in about two-thirds of the time, the other two language exams in about three-quarters.
This gave her plenty of time to help Jane, checking her answers on the social sciences and Spanish exams. She had also signed Jane up for the American Lit/basic English exam. Daria would not take that, as her SAT and SAT proficiency exam scores exempted her from most colleges’ basic writing courses, and she wanted to take the Lit classes.
Ms Li was slightly surprised when the teens finished each exam early. They went to lunch at 11:20, and during the afternoon, Li allowed Jane to sit in the conference room sketching while Daria finished. She then asked Daria (and Jane) to stay until 3:15.
“I am sure you did well,” she told them, if mostly addressing Daria. “At the moment, to my surprise, I am only possibly short two instructors, and those in areas I did not anticipate problems. In any event, would you prefer taking over for Mister Demartino or Mister O’Neill? I ask about them, rather than the other language arts or social science instructors since you are more familiar with their supplementary course materials.” The actual textbooks were of course standardized.
“All things being equal, it might be better to substitute for Mister O’Neill,” Jane interpreted. “Why?” she asked Daria before Li could. As Daria responded, Jane nodded. “Oh, okay. She reminded me that there will be a fair amount of in-class reading by the class for the freshmen and juniors. That would make things easier.”
“Very well. Be here tomorrow at eight. Please dress a bit more professionally.” Li smiled a bit. “Feel free to keep the boots.”
Daria and Jane returned the tiny smile. As they turned to leave, Li spoke up, “Come see me during your free period Friday. Your scores may be back by then.”
Mr. O’Neill had six classes that day (while his after-school self-esteem class was being taken over by Ms. Manson, who did not count as teaching staff and who was partially substituting in the sciences). He had one section each for each grade, and a second one for sophomores and seniors. The other day of the alternating schedule had the opposite ratio. Unlike many other teachers, he did not have to monitor a study hall. The first period was a sophomore class, while Quinn’s section was the second period. The opening of each period class would be mostly like the other five.
First of all, however, Daria and Jane met the retired teacher who would be monitoring them. To Daria’s surprise, Jane’s face lit up and she actually went and hugged a pleasantly plump, short (about four foot eleven) women in the late sixties. “Missus Taylor!”*
“Hello, Jane dear,” she answered. “So good to see you. Please introduce me to your friend.”
“Daria,” the smiling Jane said, “this is my fifth-grade teacher and greatest elementary teacher of all time, Missus Taylor. Missus Taylor, this is my best friend, Daria Morgendorffer.”
“Pleased to meet you, dear. Now show me the classroom; we’ll get things set up, then make sure you use the ladies’ room before homeroom – bathroom breaks, or rather the lack of them, is not as bad as it is in elementary school, and with three of us it will be even less of a problem, but it’s still real.”
‘She’s not related to Brittany, is she?’ Daria asked later as the two headed back to class after using the restroom.
“Her great aunt,” Jane replied.
Second Period
Jane: “Good morning class. As you can see, things are a bit different in this class as opposed to the other substitutes. Some of you, maybe most of you, already know one or more of us. For those of you who did not attend Main Elementary, this is Missus Taylor. She is supervising. Those of you who did attend Main, know you do NOT act up in class!” About a third of the class smiled but also nodded. She had been a favorite if moderately strict teacher even for those students who were not in her classes. “This of course is Daria Morgendorffer, who is leading the class. As most of you know, while she cannot speak, she has excellent hearing. I am Jane Lane, and I am her Sign Language interpreter. In class, in school in fact, please address us as Ms Morgendorffer and Ms Lane. Yes, she is Quinn Morgendorffer’s sister, but even she will address us that way in school. If you have a question, address it to Ms Morgendorffer, then I will interpret her response. Any questions? No? Seeing none….” Jane gestured to Daria.
‘I know Mister O’Neill assigns a Shakespeare play in the mid-trimester of junior year. What is it this year?’ Quinn nudged Stacy, who raised her hand. ‘Ms Rowe?’
“Romeo and Juliet.”
‘And what did you do Monday? I remind you all I will be able to go through his lesson plans tonight, so be accurate.’
Quinn sighed and raised her hand. “He told us last week we would start reading it in class this week. I don’t know if we were done with the background info Monday; I think we were. We didn’t actually do much on Monday, other than get copies of the play.”
Daria nodded and went to the back of the classroom to search the bookshelves, quickly locating two copies. ‘May we assume you did not bring your copies?’ No one volunteered. ‘Fine. Anyone want to volunteer to start?’ Again, no one raised a hand. Daria nodded and quickly marked one copy in pencil. She handed it to a girl in a front row corner desk. ‘Read until the first pencil mark, then pass it back and repeat the process twice. By then, I should have this copy marked ahead for reading. Please bring your copies to the next class so you can all follow along.’
And so the week went. Mrs. Taylor was complimentary to both Daria and Jane, and enough of the students knew her from her teaching days that Daria was given no trouble (other than her and Jane getting a few dirty looks at Pizza Prince after school).
That Friday, the duo came to their appointment during their free period. Ms Li saw them after about a ten-minute wait. “Good news, your scores did arrive this morning.” Daria and Jane exchanged brief looks; this was a very fast turnaround. Ms Li obviously had connections.
She handed them their envelopes and asked them to open them so she could record the scores if they wanted them to count as their Lawndale grades. Jane signaled for Daria to go ahead. She did, glanced at them, smiled slightly and then frowned. She handed them to Jane to look at and then passed on to Ms Li. Jane did so. Daria had scored As on all five parts of the social sciences exam (American History 1 & 2, Government, World History 1 & 2), all four parts of Spanish, biology, chemistry, general math, algebra & trigonometry, and the first three parts of German and French. She had scored an A- on the fourth part of French, and B+s on the fourth part of German, Calculus, and Physics. While she would likely be given credit for 69 gen ed credits, most schools would likely just count 60 towards graduation, while she would have to make up the other nine credits.
While Ms Li glanced at Daria’s scores with satisfaction, Jane opened hers and then then showed them to Daria. Jane had scored As in American History 1 & 2, Government, and Spanish 1 & 2; A-s in Spanish 3 and English; and Bs in World History 1 & 2, Spanish 4, and American Lit 1 & 2, for 36 credits.
“Kudos to you both,” Ms Li told them. She didn’t doubt that the pair had somehow cheated to help Jane, but there was really no proof. Granted, Jane had tested a bit higher than her grades suggested, but not outrageously so. She decided not to push it. As for Daria and Jane, they were thrilled to be out of most of their gen ed and Lawndale classes, especially Daria, who had been largely bored in class since kindergarten. She still had art, economics, language arts (now without Jane’s company), and worst of all, gym, but she could live with that. Jane had art, economics, gym, and worst of all, trigonometry (she wasn’t taking a science that year). “Missus Taylor also has been very complimentary. Again, kudos, and thank you.” With that, she dismissed them. She had to try and find someone to replace Mrs. Stoller, who was shakier than anticipated, and then meet again with the strike committee. She didn’t know it, but a report of possible predatory sexual harassment would be called in while she was dealing with the strike committee after school hours.
As the strike continued into the second week of school, Daria and Jane started going to Lawndale State in the evenings as her one-act play started rehearsals. This was not every night, but was once or twice a week from 6:00-7:30 (any day or two, Monday through Thursday). While Daria wasn’t thrilled by two actors with minor parts, overall she was happy where the production was going with her ideas.
*Not a real university.
*Nope, not Mrs. Stoller – Demartino’s students still have to deal with her. As for ‘Ken,’ he is teaching the other sections of Language Arts – for a short time. It just isn’t the Morgendorffers who turn him in.
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