Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > How a Rock Star Ruined My Marriage
The next month was a difficult one for me. I had a couple of meetings with my lawyer and one with Jason, his lawyer, and mine. We were trying to agree on the terms of the divorce. He agreed to let me buy him out of the house. I also got the cats because he traveled too much to take care of them. We decided how to split up the furniture and our other belongings. He took everything in the guestroom since he was setting up an apartment.
I took a second job as a professor at the university. I have my Masters Degree in English Lit, so I was more than qualified to teach English 101. I taught two classes. The extra paycheck was more than helpful, it was a life saver. Because of the second job, I was able to get a loan from the bank to pay off Jason. I was planning on refinancing the house in the New Year. I was going to try to get a lower mortgage payment.
Jason and I met by ourselves over dinner one night. We really had a lot to talk about. Not just the details of the divorce, but also to clear the air. We both had so many questions, and both of us needed to say some things. We didn’t fight, well not really. But we did have some harsh things to say. Feelings were hurt and accusations were flung, but in the end we both realized that we didn’t work anymore. It wasn’t what either of us wanted. It’s just how it was.
Throughout all of this Pete called almost every day. He wanted to know everything that was going on with me. I told him most of it. Some of it he just didn’t need to know. He was doing his best to woo me. He sent flowers to me at least once a week. My desk at work looked like a florist shop. And he told me he loved me every day. It hurt each time too. I cared for him, but I had convinced myself I didn’t love him. After the talk with Jason I felt I didn’t deserve to love anyone, or to let anyone love me. Look at what happened the last time.
The weeks went by quickly and before I knew it, it was time to see him again. Pete had told me to come to the venue early. He wanted to spend as much time together as he could. I got there around noon. I called Pete when I was pulling in and he came bounding off the bus to greet me.
“Lizzy!” He yelled before I was even out of the car. He ran up to me and threw his arms around me, picking me up and spinning me around. “I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you something awful.” He said before he kissed me.
“I’ve missed you too.” I told him truthfully before I kissed him back. I had missed him. I didn’t realize how much until I saw him again.
He grinned that grin at me and then said. “Come on, I want you to meet my friends.” He slipped his arm around my waist and we headed for the bus.
“Guys, this is Lizzy. Lizzy, these are the guys. That’s Patrick, Andy and that one over there is Joe.” He pointed out each of his friends to me as he said their names. I already knew who they were, but a proper introduction was needed.
“Hi.” I said shyly. I was just a bit nervous and didn’t really feel like I fit in.
I got a collective “Hey” back. Then they went back to ignoring me.
Pete showed me the bus, it was nice but I could see getting very tired of it quickly. We had a minute to ourselves in the back and Pete took the opportunity to pull me close and kiss me deeply. Oh, his lips could make everything better.
“I’ve missed kissing you so much.” Pete whispered in my ear.
“I’ve missed kissing you too.” I whispered back. I smiled at him and then said. “I’m really looking forward to you coming home with me tonight.”
“Me too.” He said with a look of lust and desire in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can wait until tonight. What do you think about finding a closet or something somewhere? I can be quick.”
I giggled and then said. “Not before a show. You’ll have no energy left. You don’t want to be on stage and not have the energy to perform do you?”
“Ok, you’re right. I’ll wait, but I plan on keeping you in bed all day tomorrow.” He said as he kissed my neck.
“That’s fine by me.” I answered.
We went back to the front of the bus and Joe started up a conversation with me. He seemed like a nice young man. I liked him, but Patrick and Andy only glared at me from across the bus.
After a little while it was time for them to head into the venue. They had a sound check to do and then a meet and greet. I watched from the wings of the stage as they did the sound check, and I hung out in the greenroom as they did the meet and greet. They were only gone for about an hour.
I left the greenroom because I forgot my camera in the car and wanted to get it. When I made my way back, I stopped before I turned a corner. I heard Patrick and Andy talking. At first I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt them, and then I heard what they were talking about. It was me.
“I don’t know Andy, I just don’t like her. I mean she’s too old, and I don’t trust her.” Patrick said.
“I think she’s just a cougar. You know, an older woman who just wants to recapture her youth with a younger man.” Andy said.
“I think she’s just with Pete for the fame. And probably the sex. Everyone knows the boy likes to fuck.” Patrick sounded bitter. This young man seemed to really hate me, and he didn’t even know me.
“At least with Ashlee we knew where Pete stood with her. She may have had fake boobs and a fake nose. Hell, she even had a fake singing voice, but her feelings weren’t fake. I just don’t want to see Pete get hurt again. Remember what happened the last time he loved a girl who didn’t love him back?” Andy said.
Shit! Even his friends could see I didn’t love him enough. I didn’t love him as much as he loved me. I was still telling myself I didn’t love him. Although when I saw him today I thought my heart was about ready to explode. And for one brief moment I was going to tell him I did love him.
“She’s just not right for him. She’s just going to hurt him, Andy. Mark my words, she is going to rip out his heart and stomp on it. And we’re the ones who are going to have to pick up the pieces. Hopefully this time he doesn’t do something stupid and end up in the hospital again.” Patrick said.
Then I heard another voice, it was Pete. “Hey have you guys seen Lizzy? She’s not in the greenroom and I don’t know where she is.”
“No man, haven’t seen her.” Andy said.
I didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping so I turned and hightailed it down the hall. I rounded a corner and stopped. I wanted to cry. They were right. I was too old for him. I wasn’t right for him. I didn’t love him the way he wanted me to. I was only going to hurt him. He could do so much better than me. I wasn’t a cougar though! I wasn’t with him because it made me feel younger. I took a couple of big deep breaths and calmed myself down. Really I just wanted to run out of the venue and go cry in my car.
I wiped my eyes and regained my composure before walking back down the hall toward the greenroom. Pete spotted me and ran up to me.
“Hey, where did you go? I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you.” He seemed worried.
“I forgot my camera.” I pulled it out of my pocket and showed it to him. “I went out to get it.” I told him.
“Oh, ok.” He said. Then he looked me in the eye and asked. “Is something wrong?” A frown appeared on his forehead.
“I’ll tell you later. It’s nothing you need to worry about right now. Right now you just need to focus on putting on a fabulous show.” I put a fake smile on my face and kissed him.
I followed him back to the green room and waited until it was time for them to go on stage. I went out and watched from the floor. I had never seen them play live before. They really put on a great show. Pete spun and danced until the very end. The crowd loved them. I tried to keep a smile on my face so he wouldn’t see how much pain I was really in. Patrick was right, I was going to break his heart. I was just going to do it tonight instead of later. I realized I was in over my head and I needed to get the fuck out. I was going to break up with him.
When they were done I made my way backstage again. Pete was in the shower when I got there. Patrick and Andy were sitting in the greenroom. Neither of them said a word to me.
“I know you guys don’t like me much.” I said to them. They both looked surprised at what I said. “I heard you talking about me. You’re wrong about most of it. I’m not a cougar. I’m not with him for the fame or the money. Although, come to think of it, the sex is pretty good. You’re right Patrick, the boy does like to fuck.” I quoted back. Making sure to let them know just how much I’d heard. “I’m with him because I like him. But you are right about two things. As much as I like him, I’m not right for him, and I am going to break his heart.”
“Lizzy, I’m really sorry.” Patrick started to apologize.
“No you’re not, so just save it.” I snapped at him. Patrick’s eyes got real big behind his glasses and he closed his mouth, not saying another word to me.
“What do you mean you’re going to break his heart?” Andy asked me cautiously.
“I’m not taking him home with me tonight. I’m going to end it now.” I said.
Pete came out with Hemmy on a leash and a bag over his shoulder. He smiled at me and crossed the room. “So, what did you think of the show?” He asked me.
I smiled and told him the truth. “You guys put on one hell of a show. You’re fantastic on stage. All of you are.”
The smile on his face spread even more. “Thanks. So, are you ready to get out of here?”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight.”
“What are you talking about?” A confused and slightly worried look crossed his face.
“Pete, I don’t think we should see each other any more.” I said. I didn’t know how else to say it so I just said it.
“What? Why? I mean what did I do? You didn’t feel that way when you got here. What happened? What did I do?” Pete started to plead with me. He dropped his bag and grabbed my hands. “I’m sorry for whatever I did.”
“It’s not you. Really it’s not. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just not ready for this. I’m not the right girl for you. I’m too old, I can’t give you what you deserve.” I pulled one hand out of his and placed it on his face. “I like you. I like you a lot, but I’m not ready to love you. I don’t belong here. I shouldn’t be a part of your life. I’m sorry, I really am.”
“No Lizzy. Please don’t do this. I love you, I want you in my life. You should be here.” I could see the hurt I was causing him and it broke my heart. I kept telling myself I was doing the best thing for both of us. I thought I was going to lose it completely when I saw a tear slide down his cheek.
“I can’t. This is better for both of us. You should be with some young pretty thing, not me. Go back to Ashlee. She loved you. I’m sure she still does.”
“But I don’t love her. I love you. I want you Lizzy.” I could hear the slight hitch in his voice caused by holding back tears.
I looked at him and told the most hurtful lie I have ever told in my life. “I don’t love you Pete.”
I took one last look at him, pulled my hands away from his and turned to walk out of the room. I was stopped by his voice.
“Lizzy?” he called.
I turned back to him. “Yeah?”
“Are you going back to Jason?”
“No. I need to figure out who I am before I give my heart away again. I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to do that. Good bye Pete.” I told him.
I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. I walked out of the room. Just after I left I heard a loud crash come from the greenroom. I think one of the big mirrors had just been broken. I started to run down the hall. The faster I got away from there the better.
The tears were running down my face by the time I got to my car. I had to get myself under control before I could drive. I finally made it home and did the only thing I could. I turned off the phones and went to bed, crying myself to sleep.
That was it. It was over and I wasn’t going to see him again. My marriage was over and I just walked away from the only other man I had ever shared my bed with.
I knew it was going to be painful, but I didn’t know it would be this bad.
I took a second job as a professor at the university. I have my Masters Degree in English Lit, so I was more than qualified to teach English 101. I taught two classes. The extra paycheck was more than helpful, it was a life saver. Because of the second job, I was able to get a loan from the bank to pay off Jason. I was planning on refinancing the house in the New Year. I was going to try to get a lower mortgage payment.
Jason and I met by ourselves over dinner one night. We really had a lot to talk about. Not just the details of the divorce, but also to clear the air. We both had so many questions, and both of us needed to say some things. We didn’t fight, well not really. But we did have some harsh things to say. Feelings were hurt and accusations were flung, but in the end we both realized that we didn’t work anymore. It wasn’t what either of us wanted. It’s just how it was.
Throughout all of this Pete called almost every day. He wanted to know everything that was going on with me. I told him most of it. Some of it he just didn’t need to know. He was doing his best to woo me. He sent flowers to me at least once a week. My desk at work looked like a florist shop. And he told me he loved me every day. It hurt each time too. I cared for him, but I had convinced myself I didn’t love him. After the talk with Jason I felt I didn’t deserve to love anyone, or to let anyone love me. Look at what happened the last time.
The weeks went by quickly and before I knew it, it was time to see him again. Pete had told me to come to the venue early. He wanted to spend as much time together as he could. I got there around noon. I called Pete when I was pulling in and he came bounding off the bus to greet me.
“Lizzy!” He yelled before I was even out of the car. He ran up to me and threw his arms around me, picking me up and spinning me around. “I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you something awful.” He said before he kissed me.
“I’ve missed you too.” I told him truthfully before I kissed him back. I had missed him. I didn’t realize how much until I saw him again.
He grinned that grin at me and then said. “Come on, I want you to meet my friends.” He slipped his arm around my waist and we headed for the bus.
“Guys, this is Lizzy. Lizzy, these are the guys. That’s Patrick, Andy and that one over there is Joe.” He pointed out each of his friends to me as he said their names. I already knew who they were, but a proper introduction was needed.
“Hi.” I said shyly. I was just a bit nervous and didn’t really feel like I fit in.
I got a collective “Hey” back. Then they went back to ignoring me.
Pete showed me the bus, it was nice but I could see getting very tired of it quickly. We had a minute to ourselves in the back and Pete took the opportunity to pull me close and kiss me deeply. Oh, his lips could make everything better.
“I’ve missed kissing you so much.” Pete whispered in my ear.
“I’ve missed kissing you too.” I whispered back. I smiled at him and then said. “I’m really looking forward to you coming home with me tonight.”
“Me too.” He said with a look of lust and desire in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can wait until tonight. What do you think about finding a closet or something somewhere? I can be quick.”
I giggled and then said. “Not before a show. You’ll have no energy left. You don’t want to be on stage and not have the energy to perform do you?”
“Ok, you’re right. I’ll wait, but I plan on keeping you in bed all day tomorrow.” He said as he kissed my neck.
“That’s fine by me.” I answered.
We went back to the front of the bus and Joe started up a conversation with me. He seemed like a nice young man. I liked him, but Patrick and Andy only glared at me from across the bus.
After a little while it was time for them to head into the venue. They had a sound check to do and then a meet and greet. I watched from the wings of the stage as they did the sound check, and I hung out in the greenroom as they did the meet and greet. They were only gone for about an hour.
I left the greenroom because I forgot my camera in the car and wanted to get it. When I made my way back, I stopped before I turned a corner. I heard Patrick and Andy talking. At first I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt them, and then I heard what they were talking about. It was me.
“I don’t know Andy, I just don’t like her. I mean she’s too old, and I don’t trust her.” Patrick said.
“I think she’s just a cougar. You know, an older woman who just wants to recapture her youth with a younger man.” Andy said.
“I think she’s just with Pete for the fame. And probably the sex. Everyone knows the boy likes to fuck.” Patrick sounded bitter. This young man seemed to really hate me, and he didn’t even know me.
“At least with Ashlee we knew where Pete stood with her. She may have had fake boobs and a fake nose. Hell, she even had a fake singing voice, but her feelings weren’t fake. I just don’t want to see Pete get hurt again. Remember what happened the last time he loved a girl who didn’t love him back?” Andy said.
Shit! Even his friends could see I didn’t love him enough. I didn’t love him as much as he loved me. I was still telling myself I didn’t love him. Although when I saw him today I thought my heart was about ready to explode. And for one brief moment I was going to tell him I did love him.
“She’s just not right for him. She’s just going to hurt him, Andy. Mark my words, she is going to rip out his heart and stomp on it. And we’re the ones who are going to have to pick up the pieces. Hopefully this time he doesn’t do something stupid and end up in the hospital again.” Patrick said.
Then I heard another voice, it was Pete. “Hey have you guys seen Lizzy? She’s not in the greenroom and I don’t know where she is.”
“No man, haven’t seen her.” Andy said.
I didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping so I turned and hightailed it down the hall. I rounded a corner and stopped. I wanted to cry. They were right. I was too old for him. I wasn’t right for him. I didn’t love him the way he wanted me to. I was only going to hurt him. He could do so much better than me. I wasn’t a cougar though! I wasn’t with him because it made me feel younger. I took a couple of big deep breaths and calmed myself down. Really I just wanted to run out of the venue and go cry in my car.
I wiped my eyes and regained my composure before walking back down the hall toward the greenroom. Pete spotted me and ran up to me.
“Hey, where did you go? I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you.” He seemed worried.
“I forgot my camera.” I pulled it out of my pocket and showed it to him. “I went out to get it.” I told him.
“Oh, ok.” He said. Then he looked me in the eye and asked. “Is something wrong?” A frown appeared on his forehead.
“I’ll tell you later. It’s nothing you need to worry about right now. Right now you just need to focus on putting on a fabulous show.” I put a fake smile on my face and kissed him.
I followed him back to the green room and waited until it was time for them to go on stage. I went out and watched from the floor. I had never seen them play live before. They really put on a great show. Pete spun and danced until the very end. The crowd loved them. I tried to keep a smile on my face so he wouldn’t see how much pain I was really in. Patrick was right, I was going to break his heart. I was just going to do it tonight instead of later. I realized I was in over my head and I needed to get the fuck out. I was going to break up with him.
When they were done I made my way backstage again. Pete was in the shower when I got there. Patrick and Andy were sitting in the greenroom. Neither of them said a word to me.
“I know you guys don’t like me much.” I said to them. They both looked surprised at what I said. “I heard you talking about me. You’re wrong about most of it. I’m not a cougar. I’m not with him for the fame or the money. Although, come to think of it, the sex is pretty good. You’re right Patrick, the boy does like to fuck.” I quoted back. Making sure to let them know just how much I’d heard. “I’m with him because I like him. But you are right about two things. As much as I like him, I’m not right for him, and I am going to break his heart.”
“Lizzy, I’m really sorry.” Patrick started to apologize.
“No you’re not, so just save it.” I snapped at him. Patrick’s eyes got real big behind his glasses and he closed his mouth, not saying another word to me.
“What do you mean you’re going to break his heart?” Andy asked me cautiously.
“I’m not taking him home with me tonight. I’m going to end it now.” I said.
Pete came out with Hemmy on a leash and a bag over his shoulder. He smiled at me and crossed the room. “So, what did you think of the show?” He asked me.
I smiled and told him the truth. “You guys put on one hell of a show. You’re fantastic on stage. All of you are.”
The smile on his face spread even more. “Thanks. So, are you ready to get out of here?”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight.”
“What are you talking about?” A confused and slightly worried look crossed his face.
“Pete, I don’t think we should see each other any more.” I said. I didn’t know how else to say it so I just said it.
“What? Why? I mean what did I do? You didn’t feel that way when you got here. What happened? What did I do?” Pete started to plead with me. He dropped his bag and grabbed my hands. “I’m sorry for whatever I did.”
“It’s not you. Really it’s not. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just not ready for this. I’m not the right girl for you. I’m too old, I can’t give you what you deserve.” I pulled one hand out of his and placed it on his face. “I like you. I like you a lot, but I’m not ready to love you. I don’t belong here. I shouldn’t be a part of your life. I’m sorry, I really am.”
“No Lizzy. Please don’t do this. I love you, I want you in my life. You should be here.” I could see the hurt I was causing him and it broke my heart. I kept telling myself I was doing the best thing for both of us. I thought I was going to lose it completely when I saw a tear slide down his cheek.
“I can’t. This is better for both of us. You should be with some young pretty thing, not me. Go back to Ashlee. She loved you. I’m sure she still does.”
“But I don’t love her. I love you. I want you Lizzy.” I could hear the slight hitch in his voice caused by holding back tears.
I looked at him and told the most hurtful lie I have ever told in my life. “I don’t love you Pete.”
I took one last look at him, pulled my hands away from his and turned to walk out of the room. I was stopped by his voice.
“Lizzy?” he called.
I turned back to him. “Yeah?”
“Are you going back to Jason?”
“No. I need to figure out who I am before I give my heart away again. I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to do that. Good bye Pete.” I told him.
I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. I walked out of the room. Just after I left I heard a loud crash come from the greenroom. I think one of the big mirrors had just been broken. I started to run down the hall. The faster I got away from there the better.
The tears were running down my face by the time I got to my car. I had to get myself under control before I could drive. I finally made it home and did the only thing I could. I turned off the phones and went to bed, crying myself to sleep.
That was it. It was over and I wasn’t going to see him again. My marriage was over and I just walked away from the only other man I had ever shared my bed with.
I knew it was going to be painful, but I didn’t know it would be this bad.
Sign up to rate and review this story