FicWad

As one can expect. It was just another Friday in Walla Walla Washington. In the home of the Jelly family. Cornell and KY were home from school. Barry was home from work. Debbie had just made dinner. Eating their dinner in front of the television. The Jellies were watching the movie Django Unchained.

"Damn, Leonardo DiCaprio is a motherfucker in this movie!" Barry observes. "Well, you know what they say. If you hate a character on a movie. It means they're a great actor!" Debbie says. "I prefer Titanic DiCaprio over this asshole!" Barry speaks out. "Let's hope next week the Friday Afternoon movie isn't a period piece." KY says.

"Tell me about it! This movie is offensive!" Cornell said. A TV voiceover says before going into commercial. "We'll Be Back With Django Unchained On The Walla Walla Friday Afternoon At The movies." "Isn't this great. It's like going back to old times when families watch movies on regular stations instead of streaming services!" Barry tells his family.

"Mayor Jenkins approved of this." said Debbie. The TV played a local Crime Stoppers commercial. "Hey look! It's like local Crime Stoppers! Remember when these scared Cornell when he was little." laughs KY.

"Oh shut up! I'm over that now!" Cornell protested.

A cellphone ringtone is heard. Cornell goes to get it. "Hello." answers Cornell. On the other end it was RG. "Hey Cornell!" "Oh RG! What's going on?" asked Cornell. "Say listen, remember when we used to play Police Detective when we were kids?" asked RG over the cellphone. "Oh yes. Those were fun times. What about it?" asks Cornell.

"If you're not doing anything right now would you like to join me and Reggie to play for old times sake?" asked RG. "Damn! I am there! Is there a particular place you'd like to meet?" Cornell asks once more. "How about behind the auto shop! I still have the walkie talkies we used to use from way back when!" RG suggests. "Awesome! I'll see you when I see you! Bye!" Hanging up the cellphone, Cornell announces to his family.

"RG invited me to play with him and Reggie for a game of Police Detective!" Cornell said with excitement. "You mean that game you all played when you were 8?" asked KY.

"Yeah, can I go?" Cornell asked his parents permission. "Yes you can." Barry told his adopted son. "Just as long as you're back by curfew." Debbie reminded Cornell.

So Cornell was off to play with RG and Reggie. "Shit! He didn't tell us where he was going!" Debbie panics. "I heard him say they're going to the auto shop for something." KY spoke out. "No worries. That place has gone out of business." Barry recalls.

Soon, Cornell joined his friends RG and Reggie for a game of Police Detective. "Okay, we all ready for this?" asked RG. "I was born ready!" laughs Cornell. "Quoting Pee Wee's Big Adventure to show your enthusiasm! I like that!" complemented Reggie.

"Did you bring those walkie talkies?" asked Cornell. "Way ahead of you, dawg!" said RG handing Reggie and Cornell the walkie talkies. Reggie demanded. "They still work too. Come on, and follow me!"

With Reggie leading the way. RG and Cornell arrived behind the old auto shop with a spring in his step, still riding the buzz of childhood nostalgia. RG and Reggie were already there, crouched near a rusted dumpster, each wearing old plastic police badges like they were on a real mission.

"Man, I forgot how fun this used to be," Cornell said, grinning as he clipped a toy walkie-talkie to his belt.

"Detective RG is back in action," RG declared, scanning the empty lot with mock seriousness. "Looks like we got ourselves a possible crime scene. We sweep the area, question suspects, and bring justice to Walla Walla."

Reggie nodded, already scribbling fake notes in a miniature notepad. "I'm logging suspicious activity. Could be something big… maybe a ring of car thieves. Or a guy selling bad tacos. Either way, we crack this case."

The boys laughed, weaving between old tires and broken-down cars like they were in an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. They took their play seriously, like they always had as kids. Except this time, they weren't alone.

Inside the darkened garage, the mood was a lot less playful.

A group of carjackers were in the middle of a deal with two local cocaine dealers. The place had long been abandoned officially, but unofficially, it was very much in business. An old Cadillac with no plates sat in the corner, hood popped, engine steaming. One of the dealers handed over a small duffel bag while the other flipped through a wad of cash.

"This covers the last drop," said a man named Marco, glancing around nervously. "Three more cars by next Thursday, same time."

"You get us the rides, we get you the powder," Tito, one of the dealers, replied coldly. "No mistakes."

They were mid-negotiation when Lopez, one of the carjackers, held up a hand. "Wait. You hear that?" he whispered.

Everyone froze.

Outside, the boys had just approached the garage doors. They were still playing, unaware of the very real danger inside.

"I think I heard something near the front," Reggie whispered, staying in character.

"Sector five. Possible movement," Cornell said into his toy walkie-talkie. "We go in fast and loud."

RG grinned. "Let's kick it down and yell 'Reach For The Sky'! Like in the movies."

Cornell chuckled. "Alright… on three."

They counted silently with their fingers, then—BAM!—Cornell kicked open the side door.

"HALT! POLICE DETECTIVES!" all three of them shouted, loud and proud.

Inside the garage, time seemed to stop.

The carjackers and dealers turned in shock. For half a second, it looked like Marco might actually raise his hands—until he realized the "cops" were a trio of teenagers in hoodies and sneakers.

Tito's face darkened. "They're just kids," he muttered, reaching for something under his jacket. "But too loud."

"We should grab them," Rico, the youngest of the crew, said. "Make sure they didn't record anything."

Cornell's excitement quickly curdled into dread. The cocaine. The money. The guns. It was all real.

"Guys…" he whispered. "This isn't a game."

"No kidding," Reggie replied, eyes wide. "That guy just unzipped a duffel full of actual coke."

"Run," RG said.

And they did.

The boys turned and bolted, their sneakers skidding over the oily concrete floor. Shouts rang out behind them as the criminals gave chase. Cornell ducked behind a stack of tires while RG scrambled over a workbench. Reggie slid under a parked car, heart hammering in his chest.

They weren't playing detective anymore.

This was real.

And they were in deep.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Just when it seemed like Cornell, RG, and Reggie might get caught for good, the distant wail of sirens sliced through the tension like a knife. Red and blue lights flickered across the cracked walls of the auto shop as four Walla Walla squad cars screeched onto the scene.

"WALLA WALLA POLICE! HANDS UP!" shouted the lead officer, Detective Luna, striding into the garage like she owned the place. Within seconds, the carjackers and cocaine dealers were outnumbered, cornered, and cuffed. Marco tried to flee but slipped on an oil stain; Tito surrendered after one of the officers threatened to sic the K9 unit on him.

"We got lucky you kids made noise," Officer Ramirez told the boys once everything was secure. "This place was on our radar, but we never had a strong lead until now."

"We didn't mean to bust a real crime ring," RG said, still catching his breath.

"No," Luna replied with a smile, handing each of the boys a shiny plastic badge. "But you did. And that earns you honorary police status for the day. You all can shadow us!"

"Honorary?" Cornell lit up like a firecracker. "Does this mean we get to interview criminals now?"

Luna chuckled. "Absolutely not. Leave the interrogations to the grown-ups."

Reggie pouted. "Damn. We wanted to know why that guy had such weird hair."

RG nodded. "And what makes someone choose to sell coke in a broken garage?"

Cornell muttered, "You guys are asking better questions than Dateline."

KY jogged up to the scene, hands on her hips. "There you are, Detective Dipshit," she teased Cornell. "Mom said if you're not home by curfew, she's pulling your TV privileges."

Cornell nodded solemnly. "Duty calls. But also dinner."

By Saturday morning, the boys were legends. And then—Cornell's phone buzzed. It was the Walla Walla PD.

"Hey Cornell. This is Officer Ramirez again," said the voice on speaker. "You and your crew up for a little help? Nothing dangerous—just some youth outreach. And maybe you can help us crack a few petty cases from the neighborhood." Cornell went to call RG and Reggie to tell them the good news.

RG, still half-asleep in boxer shorts, shouted, "We're back in business!"

Reggie zipped up his hoodie with dramatic flair. "Time to log more suspicious activity."

Cornell grinned. "Sector Five is awake and ready."

And just like that, their weekend plans turned into stakeouts, bagel breakfasts at the precinct, and sketching criminal profiles based on weird local rumors.

The honorary detectives weren't just playing anymore. They were becoming part of the legend.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Officers Ramirez and Luca were driving Cornell, RG, and Reggie. The officers also handed them guns. "If only our classmates can see us now, dawg!" Reggie said. "While everyone else is at the mall, we're helping cop solve crimes!" Cornell declares with happiness.

"Maybe we'll end up on the news for all our families to see!" Reggie joins in the conversation. "Wow, what will our first assignement be?" wondered Cornell. "That's what we're about to find out!" Officer Ramirez implies. "All we need to do is turn on the police radio." said Officer Luca.

"Hey I know. Since we're in a cop car. Let's talk about hunches and how something doesn't add up!" RG suggested. "Cool, I have a hunch that Mrs Doubtfire wasn't really the loving father he claimed to be." Reggie jokes along. "Yeah, something does add up about that!" laughed Cornell.

Turning on the police radio a police chief's voice speaks out, "All units. Report to a robbery in progress at the Two To Tango convinece store in Walla Walla Ave. Shots fired. Suspects possibly white." "Walla Walla Ave! That's not too far away from here!" Cornell said.

"And we shall!" Officer Ramirez said with confidence and vigor. The police car drove down to Walla Walla Ave and rode into the parking lot of Two 2 Tango Convience Store. The police car stopped and Officers Ramirez and Luca run inside with Cornell, RG, and Reggie in tow.

"On the floor, punks!" Cornell demanded. "Stay where you are! This is the police! Surrender!" Officer Luca yells at the robbers. Cornell, RG, and Reggie had guns on them but they were blanks.

"We're getting them! We're getting the robbers!" Cornell shouted. "These guns must be defected!" RG noticed. "There's no bullets coming out of them!" Reggie implies.

The shots from the blanks actually scared away the robbers. The robbers were being chased by Officers Ramirez and Luca until they were apprehended. Then cuffed and put into the police car. Cornell, RG, and Reggie all high fived each other and joined officers Ramirez and Luca in the car.

"Good job, boys! You gotta a lot of guts!" complemented Officer Luca. "No problem really. But why weren't we given real guns?" asks RG. "We never give teenagers who shadow us are honorary police man real guns. So blanks are just enough to scare away any criminals!" Officer Ramirez replies.

"That makes sense. To be truthful I'd be scared shitless if I had to use a real gun!" laughs Cornell. On the local six o'clock news, the Robbery that was stopped made official headlines. Debbie, Barry, and KY were watching.

"Good evening I'm Mervin Collins. Tonight's top story the local police along with 3 teenagers who were honorary cops have foiled a robbery." The scene changes into a live video that shows Officers Ramirez and Luca. And Cornell, RG, and Reggie as well.

"Thank heavens our baby didn't get hurt." Debbie sighs with relief. "Okay everyone we'll tell Cornell how proud we are of him them he comes home!" said Barry. KY hears footsteps approach. "Here he is now!" Cornell walks though the door.

"Damn Cornell! Or should we say, officer Cornell!" said Barry. "Did you guys see me back there? I was like..." Cornell explains his story while imitating gunshots, "And the robbers were all like..." then Cornell imitates the robbers.

"Hey there, little brother. If I'm ever in a domestic violence dispute with an abusive boyfriend, I know who to call!" KY told her younger adoptive brother.

"Who knows, maybe this can be something to look into as a future career." Barry said. "Oh no it's just a temporary thing." Cornell tells his family.

"Actually I would not want Cornell to go into law enforcement. He could get shot in the chest and possible never recover!" Debbie stood her ground as if she was feeling like she had to speak out against it.

"So how long are you in this honorary police man thing." said Barry. "Oh maybe just this weekend." Cornell said.

Back at the Walla Walla police station. Officers Ramirez and Luca were talking about how impressed they were with the way Cornell, RG, and Reggie worked very well for them.

"You know, those boys sure had a great ability and I have impressed by their skillfullness." Officer Luca was talking to Officer Ramirez.

"I noticed that too. Maybe we can make them permanent members of the Walla Walla Police Force!" Officer Ramirez added on.

"We can make an example out of them. Maybe inspire their generation to be police officers too." Officer Luca proposed.

"Seems that these days teens of their generation don't want to join the police force. Let alone the military." Officer Ramirez expressed in delightment.

"I got it. Let's pull those boys out of school for the next week and they'll help us take down all sorts of mother fuckers!" Officer Luca says. "I see those boys have a bright future in law enforcement!" Officer Ramirez pointed out.

"Exactly. Maybe once their peers see them get pulled out of class to help us cops solve murders and such. Theie fellow classmates probably might want to follow suit." Officer Luca proclaims.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A week went by. This week was different like no other for Cornell, RG, and Reggie. It was because the 3 friends were getting pulled away in the middle of the school day to help catch criminals and solve crimes. Cornell, RG, and Reggie thought it was just going to be a one time thing.

Instead, it became a seemingly everyday thing. The Cornell, RG, and Reggie were getting fed up and wanted their normal lives back. "Dawg, it was fun helping Ramirez and Luca for a while. Now it like we have to help them all the time." Cornell complains.

"Yeah, I'm sick of coming home from school and have my parents yell at me I have to explain why I've been so late coming home!" RG agrees. "Damn, We're all up to our eyeballs in homework! Don't these cops think we have any lives?" Reggie joins in.

"My Mom and Dad keep squawking at me saying, "YOU'RE STILL DOING THAT?!" Cornell said imitating his parents.

"My Dad told me if I keep coming home late and solving cases, he threatened to sent me to military school!" RG said. Cornell gets an idea, "I know. When Luca and Ramirez show up, maybe we can say we have a doctor's appointment." "That sounds like a good idea, but I hope it works!" Reggie trembles.

"Cornell Jelly! RG! Reggie! Whatever your last names are!" Officer Luca has shouted at them. Cornell yelled. "Shit! Here we go again!" "Afternoon Officers! You see, my friends and I have an appointment." RG tried to tell Ramirez and Luca.

"No you don't. Nice try, boys. Now listen here. We really need your help with this! Mayor Leonard Jenkins has been kidnapped!" Officer Ramirez tells them.

"Who do they think did it?" asked RG in a fed up manner. "Drag queens. He was making a speech this afternoon then we saw a bunch of drag queens carry him away." Officer Luca explains. "Did you see where the drag queens have gone?" asked Cornell.

"Yes, we tracked down their whereabouts. They're at the Glitter Gutter. It's open 24 hours a day." Officer Luca told Cornell.

"We haven't got any more time to lose, let's go!" Officer Ramirez says literally dragging Cornell, RG, and Reggie into the squad car. Officer Luca gives them the blank guns again. All the students from Walla Walla High school had their heads out the windows cheering on Cornell, RG, and Reggie.

"Kick some ass! Go get them!"

In the back of the squad car, Cornell looks back and sighs in dispair. "Hey, buck up kid! Your classmates think you guys are heroes!" Officer Luca assures.

An hour later, Officer Ramirez and Officer Luca drove up to the drag bar. "You guys know what to do." "Now follow our lead!" Officers Ramirez and Luca ordered Cornell, RG, and Reggie.

Entering the Glitter Gutter. There were people inside having drinks, A DJ spinning a record, stripper poles, playing games, and the drag queens worked as waiters. "Will there be anything else for you today, sir?" said one of the drag queens. Officers Ramirez and Luca walked in causally.

RG and Reggie shuddered with fear. Cornell is desperate to get out of this. "If my Mom knew I was in here. I'd be in big ass trouble!" Reggie looks at the strippers, "Really not so bad. The strippers are cool at least!" "What's next? Are they going to force us into a road trip with them like in To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar?" RG snarked.

The song was finishing up, and the DJ says, "Make some noise if you're having a good time tonight!" A bouncer comes in and sees Cornell, RG, and Reggie. Then the bouncer walks by as he is distracted as he looked at his watch.

Officers Ramierz and Luca walk up to Cornell, RG, and Reggie. "It's time boys." One of the drag queen waiters walked up to Officer Ramierz, "Anything I can get for you today?"

"Fuck off!" Officer Ramierz shoved the draw queen away. Officer Luca points a gun at the drag queen and demands, "Where did you put Mayor Jenkins!"

A pounding on the other side of the building. Officers Luca and Ramierz ran as did Cornell, RG, and Reggie.

"come on! A clue!" "We'll deal with you later." Luca said to the drag queen.

In the basement of Glitter Gutter. The Drag Queens were having a meeting, "OKay, any idea of how we can make the Mayor Jenkins disappear? I was thinking we can pull a Jimmy Hoffa on him..."

Running down to the basement of Two 2 Tango. Officers Luca and Ramirez break down the door. The lead drag queen screamed. "It's the Five-0!" Then the drag queen sees Cornell, RG, and Reggie. "And some other guys!"

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Aiming their guns at the drag queens, Officer Ramirez yells, "What you have done to the Mayor!" "We know nothing about no mayor!" one of the drag queens tells the cops.

"Yes you do! We saw you kidnap him while he was making a speech!" Officer Luca shouted. "Shot them!" the lead drag queen orders his henchmen.

A shootout broke out. Cornell, RG, and Reggie joined in too with their blank guns. Detectives from the Walla Walla soon came in cars surrounding the Glitter Gutter Drag Queen bar.

As the chaotic shootout raged in the basement of the Glitter Gutter drag bar, Cornell, RG, and Reggie took cover behind a stack of dusty crates. Officers Luca and Ramierz were chasing the Drag Queens into the main room. The noise was deafening — gunfire from the officers' real weapons, shouting from the drag queen henchmen, and occasional sparks from ricocheting bullets bouncing off metal pipes.

"We gotta get outta here before we get hit!" Reggie shouted over the gunfire.

"No kidding!" Cornell ducked low and motioned for the others to follow him through a side hallway leading out of the basement. "There's gotta be an exit somewhere."

As the three of them crept away from the chaos, they stumbled upon a rusty door with a big padlock... barely hanging on. Reggie leads on it, and suprising it was open. Reggie slips and falls and Cornell and RG rushed to help him up.

They slowly pushed the door open. Inside was a dimly lit storage room. And in the center of the room, tied to a folding chair with duct tape around his wrists and ankles — and a gag shoved in his mouth — was Mayor Leonard Jenkins. His eyes went wide with relief when he saw the three teens.

"Holy crap, it's him!" RG exclaimed, rushing over with Cornell and Reggie right behind him.

Cornell quickly tore off the gag. "Mayor Jenkins! You okay?"

"Mmrf— THANK GOD, I feel like The Mayor Of Kingstown that's for sure." the mayor gasped, breathing heavily. "You kids—you found me!"

"We gotta get you out of here," Reggie said, untying the ropes. "There's a full-blown war happening upstairs."

As they helped the mayor out of the chair and began to escort him through the hallway, backup finally arrived. Detectives from the Walla Walla Police Department burst through the side entrance, flashlights sweeping through the dark corridors.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Identify yourselves!"

"Relax! We've got the mayor!" Cornell shouted, raising his hands.

The detectives rushed in and immediately took over, surrounding Mayor Jenkins and radioing to Officers Ramirez and Luca that the hostage had been recovered.

Within minutes, the drag queens involved in the kidnapping were being rounded up, cuffed, and read their rights. The leader — a towering queen in a sequined red dress and smeared mascara — snarled as she was led away. "Please! Please! I need to serve people drinks in there and ask them will that be all for today! I had nothing to do with this! I'm just a pawn in this corrupt game! I'm innocent!"

Outside, police cars still lit the night in red and blue. News crews had started gathering, reporters shouting questions. Cornell, RG, and Reggie stood on the curb, tired and covered in basement dust, when a minivan screeched to a stop nearby.

Out came Cornell's adoptive parents — Debbie and Barry Jelly.

"CORNELL JELLY!" Debbie shouted. "What in God's name were you doing in a drag bar at night in the middle of a police shootout?! You are grounded for life!"

"And why are you always being dragged off by cops during school hours?" Barry added, flustered and panting. "We thought you were skipping class again!"

Cornell raised his hands, still grimy. "I get it. You're mad. But we literally just saved the mayor."

"Yeah," RG added, gesturing toward the recovering Mayor Jenkins, who was now being checked by paramedics. "We snuck away and found him tied up in some creepy room. If we hadn't done that, this whole thing would still be a mystery."

Mayor Jenkins, catching wind of the conversation, stepped away from the ambulance and approached them, waving off the paramedics. "Excuse me, these are the kids that found me?"

Debbie straightened up. "Yes, sir. I'm Cornell's adoptive mother."

"Well, ma'am," the mayor said, brushing the dust off his suit, "I owe your son and his friends my life. If it wasn't for their courage, who knows what might've happened to me. There's no need to be mad at them. In fact, I'd say Walla Walla owes them a debt of gratitude."

Debbie and Barry exchanged stunned looks.

Cornell held his breath.

Barry scratched his head. "Well... if the mayor says you did a good thing…"

Debbie sighed, folding her arms. "We still don't like you skipping school and sneaking into dangerous situations, but..."

"But we're proud of you," Barry finished, putting a hand on Cornell's shoulder. "Just... next time, try to save the mayor after your homework is done."

Cornell smiled. "Deal. Thanks to the internet. Homework is a cinch these days!"

Officer Rameriz and Luca walk up to Cornell, RG, and Reggie and sees Barry and Debbie are there, "No more police work for these guys for a while, in fact we're terribly sorry for putting them in such danger. We were hoping to inspire future generations to join the force since this generation of kids don't seem to want to."

Officer Rameriz says extending his apology. "We are regretful indeed about this, we thought if we brought them along it'll inspire other students to want to join in. Sadly it didn't come to that. Have a nice day Jellyfish!" Officer Luca walks off with his partner into the sunset.

Barry, Debbie, Cornell, RG, and Reggie all exchanged relieved glances as the cops led the last of the drag queen criminals away. It had been another wild day in Walla Walla — and though they were tired, grounded (sort of), and still had piles of homework waiting for them at home, one thing was certain:

They were heroes. Whether they liked it or not.