Categories > Cartoons > Darkwing Duck
Barry Jelly wins the lottery then spends it on a vacation to Rome. All goes downhill for the Jellies.
0Unrated
Authors Note: This will be my final fanfic about the Jellies. Not to mention my first fanfic of 2026! Don't despair. I got some more cool fanfics on the way for this year.
A normal day for everyone else in the Walla Walla Washington neighbors. Not for the Jelly family though. For they are in for the surprise of their lives.
During a quiet dinner. Barry was halfway through microwaving leftover spaghetti when the lottery app on his phone buzzed. "Hey, Barry! Put down your device! It's Device Free dinner! Don't you rememeber reading that on Common Sense Media?" Debbie tells her husband "Yeah, Dad, even me and Cornell don't use cellphones when we eat." KY said.
It was one of those lazy, unimpressed buzzes that usually meant “you won a free ticket, calm down.” He almost ignored it. Barry always almost ignored things. "Dad, you ought to check out your cellphone." Cornell advised.
Debbie didn’t. She leaned over his shoulder with the intensity of someone who had already mentally spent the money on new curtains, a new car, and possibly a new life. “You heard Cornell, Check it,” Debbie said, tapping the screen like the phone owed her rent.
KY wandered in wearing headphones, mouthing lyrics to a song only she knew. Cornell followed behind her, carrying the family’s ancient laptop like it was a sacred relic. “The Wi-Fi died again,” Cornell announced, just as Barry finally swiped open the notification.
The kitchen went quiet.
Barry blinked. Then blinked again. “Damn, Deb… I think… I think we won.”
Debbie froze mid‑curtain‑fantasy. KY pulled off one headphone. Cornell set the laptop down very slowly, like the universe might explode if he dropped it.
“Won what?” KY asked.
Barry turned the screen around. “The Lottery.”
"You never told us you entered the Lottery!" Debbie said with spite. "Well, I wanted to surprise you all if I won!" said Barry. "Dad, how much did we win?" asked Cornell. "We won, $500,000!" Announced Barry. "Wow! So awesome, Dad! Maybe you can buy me that car I've always wanted!" said KY.
"Easy there, girl. It's your Dad's money. Let him do what he wants with it." Debbie tells KY. "That's right Baby Girl! This is "Big Poppa's House!! And I'm not talking about that Martin Lawrence movie!" Barry said.
Thinking it over, Barry asks his family, "Speaking of movies, you know how in those flicks about a family winning some money and they all decide to go on a trip?" "Mm Hmm, where you are going with this?" said Debbie.
"How about we, the Jellies do something like that! Use this money to go on a family trip!" suggested Barry. "Oh no! I'm in a serious relationship with my new boyfriend Shawn. What if we're gone for too long and he moves on without me?" asked KY with concern.
"Okay, I got it. We'll only be gone for a month. How's that." Barry asked. "Uhhh, okay. I got a text from him. Shawn is starting his semester at a junior college and he'll be gone for a month. Thankfully it's an all male junior college." KY sighs with relief.
"Is your boyfriend going to Rushmore!" laughs Cornell.
"Ha! Really hilarious Cornell! Anyway, Dad. You haven't told us yet where we are going for a trip, Dad!" KY speaks out.
"We've never been to Europe. How about we go to Rome?" asks Barry. "The Eternal City? That place where the best wine is made! I'm in!" Debbie cheered!
KY says, "We need to make all the arrangements like get tickets and things." Cornell taps on his iPHONE. "Shit! I'll have to charge this up!" Connecting his iPHONE to a charger. Cornell by mistake pressed the "RECORD" button. The iPHONE was aimed at Debbie's and Barry's bedroom as his parents were taking a shower because the trip they planned ignited a whole new chapter in their marriage.
"WOW! DO I FEEL GOOD TODAY!" boasted Barry in the shower. Debbie laughs, "It Really Brings You Back To Life!" "That always turns you on when I quote my favorite Coast commercial!" Barry laughs.
It took a week to prepare for the impending trip to Rome. A long week of packing and waiting for the plane tickets to come in the mail. When the day came. KY and Cornell had their suitcases packed. Waiting for Barry and Debbie to get to the car.
"Damn, how long does it take for Mom and Dad to get ready?" Cornell said rolling his eyes. KY sees Barry and Debbie running out the house with their luggage.
"Sorry we kept you waiting kids!" Barry said. "We had to use the bathroom!" Debbie said. "Get in the car kids, this is a family trip of a lifetime!" Barry shouted with happiness. Cornell and KY got into the back seat of the car as did Barry and Debbie were got in the front seats.
"First stop, Walla Walla Airport!" Debbie says as the Jelly family drives out of their neighborhood and into their adventure. "Will we have any stopovers, Dad?" asks KY. "It's round trip. The plane will take us right there!" answers Barry.
Cornell tells KY, "I'm going to take selfies of myself in Rome and send them to RG and Reggie! And some cute girls in my class too!"
"Oh that reminds me, I'm going to email Shawn!" KY said. "Hey! We are not going to talk about our friends or lovers on this trip! Got it?" Debbie demands. "Yes I agree. Let's have it be only a Family Affair! Without Sebastian Cabot of course!" Barry added on.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
When the Jellies arrived at the Walla Walla Airport. First getting through customs. Taking off their shoes. Cornell and KY were nervous that the customs agents will look into their cellphones. And were relieved when the cellphones were given back. "Piece of shit customs agents! They don't care whose rights they volate!" Barry scoffed.
"Fucking Homeland Security!" Debbie mumbled under her breath.
Once the Jellies made it past customs, all of them put their suitcases on the escalator and made it to their terminal, their flight going to Rome. Their flight leaves in 30 mintes. "We made it just in time, kids!" Barry said. KY was deep into his cellphone, letting out a moan. "What's wrong baby?" Debbie asks.
"Shawn isn't writing back to me." KY whispers. "Yeah, KY has a point. I'm trying to write to RG and Reggie, and I'm coming up short!" Cornell complained. "Did you guys forget about the No Talking About Friends Rule Already?" Debbie looked at them with a deadpan gleam in her eyes.
"Whoops! Sorry." KY said as she and Cornell put away with cellphones. The person at the desk said, "All passengers get ready to board Flight 1112 With Nonstop Service to Rome!"
All the passengers were giving their airplane tickets to the person at the desk and boarded the plane. As soon as all the passengers were seated. The pilot comes into the cockpit about to fly the plane. That was until the co-pilot came to sit next to him.
"Uhhh, sir? Where is this plane going?" asked the co-pilot. "To Rome of course." the pilot responds. "Actually sir, this plane is going to Paris, did you know that?" the co-pilot spoke. "No I did not. This was a huge mistake. Let's not tell anyone." said the pilot. "They'll figure it out themeselves!" said the co-pilot. Then the copilot and the pilot begin to laugh at each other.
Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking! We are on a non stop flight to Rome Italy. The flight will be 10 hours. The weather in Rome is...."
"10 hours! Damn! What the fuck are we going to do for 10 hours!" panicked Cornell. "Son, you ought to have my job. I deal with flights more than 10 hours." Barry said.
"Now I know how Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan felt at the end of Rush Hour." Cornell said. "We're traveling overseas. What did you expect?" KY implies.
It look 15 minutes for the plane to glide down the runaway and into the sky. 5 hours into the sky. Barry told Debbie, "you know you look really beautiful right now!" Debbie kisses Barry. "You know honey guys at work told me there's a very special club we can join. Meet in the bathroom!" Barry flirted with Debbie. A stewardess comes to Barry and Debbie. "Would you like something to drink sir?"
"Nothing for me." Debbie told the stewardess. "I'll have a Coke!" Barry speaks out. "Do you want that in a can?" asked the stewardess. "No I'll have it right here!" Barry said. The stewardess stared at Barry with a blank expression as she leaves. Barry and Debbie decide to go the bathroom. Barry stopped by where KY and Cornell were sitting.
"Your mother has something stuck in her eye. I'm going to get it out." Barry said. Debbie was already in the bathroom waiting for Barry.
KY and Cornell say to each other, "While Mom and Dad are away in the bathroom.." "We can talk to our friends on our phones!"
"Please! Let me hear from Shawn!" KY begged. "RG and Reggie, dont keep me waiting!" Cornell said.
Standing by the bathroom area, Barry didn't know which bathroom Debbie was in. Debbie then opened the door and dragged Barry in. "Damn woman! I thought we were playing Mile High Club! Not Hide and Seek!" Barry told Debbie.
"I just wanted to have a little fun!" Debbie said. They noticed how small and cramped airplane bathrooms are. "This sure as shit isn't first class!" Debbie looked all around. Barry replies, "So what? That's make the best of it!" Barry and Debbie were going to make love in the airplane bathroom. That is until Barry put his foot into the toilet.
"SHIT! MY FOOT! MY FOOT! MY FOOT!" Barry screams in distress. "OOOOH! This airplane will go down if you get flushed!" Debbie managed to get his foot out of the toilet.
Nightfall came and all the windows in the airplanes were closed. All the passengers including the Jellies were asleep. The pilot and copilot snickered, "They're in for a huge surprise when they wake up!"
Five hours later the plane landed. The passengers woke up. It was the crack of dawn. The Jellies were excited. "Come on, kids! Let's see what Rome has to offer!" Barry tells Cornell and KY.
Momentarily getting out of the airplane and getting their luggage. Barry, Debbie, Cornell, and KY heard French over the loudspeakers in the airport.
"Does that sound Italian?" asked Barry. "Well, expect to hear different languages here." assures Debbie. "That sounds like French to me." KY observed. "Yes, you're right. It is!" Cornell said. Once they stepped outside the airport, thinking they were in Rome. The Jellies notice they were actually in Paris!
"Uhhh, Dad. There's no Effell Tower in Rome is there?" Cornell had to ask. "This looks like some Da Vinci Code bullshit!" Barry speaks. "Oh shit! Did we take the wrong flight! Our flight was going to Rome, right?" Debbie said with confusion.
"Guys, we're in Paris. But how did it happen!" KY pondered. The two pilots flying the plane walked by and laughed. "You jellyfish assholes just got Punk'D!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Now that they all knew they were in Paris instead of Rome. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell decide to make the best of it for now.
"All right, here's the game plan. We'll stay here in Paris for a day. Check into a hotel and stay the night. Until then maybe we can embrace our little mistake here." Barry advises everyone.
"Hell yeah! If I can get some of that wine!" Debbie agrees. "Hey, wait a minute. You guys are sea creatures, aren't you all worried these French dudes are going to eat you all?" Cornell conceded with concern.
"That's frogs dumbass!" KY snided. Cornell rolls his eyes, "Thanks for correcting me there, Mrs Know-It-All!" Debbie points to a hotel, "Hey look. We can check in there."
Walking over to the hotel, The Jellies go inside and check in with the conierge. Who looked at the Jelly family like they've never seen anthromophic jellyfish before. Even the bellhops looked at them strangely.
"Hey, we'd like a place to stay for the night." Barry tells the conierge. "I'm Barry Jelly and my family and I are from the United States of America. Just throwing that in there."
The conierge and the bellhops agree to check them in. "Do you guys take Visa or American Express?" asked Barry. The conierge, and the bellhops all look at them and laugh. "Damn! Won't you look at that! They like us already!" Debbie observes.
"Typical American Assholes." the coneirge and the bellhops said in French. Once the Jellies got settled into their hotel. KY uses the bathroom to secretly check to see if Shawn wrote to her.
KY, saddened still hasn't heard from Shawn since she and her family left for the trip. Emotionally devestated thinking Shawn had forgotten all about her. Not wanting her family to know she snuck behind their backs and go against their "no friends family only rule." KY pretended like nothing was wrong.
As soon as KY was done with the bathroom. Barry, Debbie, and Cornell were getting settled. "Okay everyone cool?" he asks. "Yes." "Me too." "Don't forget me." "Maybe we all ought to go sight seeing. Then get dinner." Barry suggested. OKay.
Getting out of their hotel, and Jelly family went to the Effel Tower. There was a souvineer stand that sold barets. Debbie takes a selfie of herself, Barry, Cornell, and KY standing next to the Effel Tower in their barrets. Then soon all decide to climb it.
Sneaking off from his family. Cornell sees a girl looking at the view from the Effiel Tpower. "Mademoiselle!" Cornell greets her. "Oh hey!" the girl sees Cornell.
"I'm on a trip here with my family! What's your name?" asked Cornell. "Sarah. I'm here visiting Paris with my older sister who's in college."
"So Sarah, where are you from since you speak English?" Cornell chuckled. "Indianpolis!" Sarah answered. "Cool I'm from Walla Walla!" Cornell tells Sarah.
"Isn't that in Washington State?" Sarah said. "That's the one! Damn! I never thought in a million years that I would meet a girl from Indianpolis right here in Paris!" Cornell told Sarah.
KY pulls Cornell away. "You get to make out with girls and I can't get ahold of Shawn!" Being dragged away, Cornell screams, "SSSSAAAARRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!" "Calm down there Marlon Brando! Mom and Dad want to do some more touring!" KY orders Cornell.
After their time in the Effiel Tower was done. Then in a musical montage that sounded like a cross between French Opera and Hip Hop. the Jelly family were seen going to museums like the Louvre, and Centre Pompidou, shopping, wine testing, then finally stopping at a restaurant.
"Damn, maybe we didn't need to go to Rome at all! Our trip has been amazing, dawgs!" Cornell exclaimed. "Yes as a matter of fact, you're right." Barry answers. Debbie got a hold of the menu. "Let's call a waiter. Oh Garson!" Barry calls out. A French waiter comes to their table.
Barry shows him the menu and says, "I'll have the Boeuf Bourguignon, please." The waiter looked at them with contempt and said in French, "Obviously you don't speak French you don't understand a damn word!"
Continuing ordering the food, Barry says, "Also I would like a hamburger and fries." French waiter replies, "Remarkable accent. You from Portland or Seattle?" "Walla Walla." Debbie tells the waiter. Barry orders some drinks, "Yes and a coke." The French waiter responded in French, "Two American champagnes." "What else can we get here, hmmm, let's see and some breaded shrimp too."
Oblivious to the fact that the waiter was being mean to them, he says in French, "I can bring you dishwater and you don't know the difference." Debbie laughs as does KY and Cornell.
Barry orders some more, "and some souffle and crissants too." The French waiter complements on Debbie's breast, "You wife has a nice set of tits."
"We all done ordering?" Debbie wanted to know. "Guess that's all." Barry tells the French waiter who departs to get their food and tells them "Go Fuck Yourself" in French.
"That waiter was a nice guy." KY speaks. "I know right. We never find anyone of his kind back in Walla Walla." Debbie agreed.
"Hope his name is Jean Luke!" Cornell mumbled.
In the kitchen of the restaurant The French cooks are taking out a bunch of TV dinners and cooked them and served them to the Jelly family. "The French really know how to live!" Cornell said. The French waiters were watching them and laugh and say, "They think it's real French food." "What a bunch of shit for brains."
KY was packing away the crissants. "KY, baby girl. Why are you pigging out?" KY cries out, "Who do I have to stay thin for!" "Is this about Shawn? You worried he's going out with someone else while you're on this vacation?" Barry inquired. "Yes! But don't worry, I didn't try to contact him or nothing." KY noted.
"Girl, don't get an eating disorder over it." Debbie said. "Yeah or you'll become another statistic and end up at Girls Inc." Barry remarked. "KY at Girls Inc? Hard to image." Cornell joked.
When their dinner was over. Barry now wanted to find a way to get to Rome. "Anyone go on their cellphones and see if we can find a train station." "Right, Dawg!" Cornell says. "As such as we had fun here in Paris, our goal was to go to Rome!" Barry shouts. was Looking through his cellphone he sees a video he unknowningly recorded Barry and Debbie in the shower. "The hell!"
Trying to erase it, a French man on a bike comes up and says, "What seems to be the problem young man?" "I had no idea I mistakenly filmed my parents in the shower." Cornell tells the man.
"Here give me your phone, I can help you." The French man said. Taking Cornell's phone and Cornell was looking at his family. The French man on the bike took Cornell's phone and kept it for himself and replaced it with a cellphone lookalike.
"There you go! All erased!" the French man told Cornell. "Have a great day!" the French man rides off on his bike. KY found a train station on her cellphone. "Look at this, guys. A train set for Rome is coming tommorow morning!"
"All right. Thanks for that, KY. Let's go back to the hotel!" Barry tells his family.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Debbie announced, “All right, I’m taking a bath. If anyone needs me, pretend you don’t.” She grabbed a towel and marched into the bathroom like a queen returning to her throne.
Barry, meanwhile, wandered the hallway with the hotel keycard, squinting at the room numbers. “Why do they gotta use fancy curly fonts? Just put a normal number!” he muttered.
He stopped at a door he thought was theirs, swiped the card, and stepped inside.
A woman in a glittery dress looked up from applying lipstick. “Oh! You must be my midnight client,” she said in a thick Parisian accent.
Barry froze. “Uh… I think I’m in the wrong”
Before he could finish, she shoved a brochure into his hands. “Special discount tonight! Tell your friends!”
Barry backed out of the room so fast he nearly tripped over his own tentacles. “Wrong room! Wrong room! Wrong room!” he whispered‑yelled down the hallway.
He finally found the correct door, slipped inside, and acted naturally.
The next morning, Debbie emerged from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel, already annoyed. “Barry, why is there a brochure for ‘Exotic Companionship Services’ on the nightstand?”
Barry choked on his complimentary croissant. “Debbie, I swear on all eight of my tentacles, that was a misunderstanding!”
“Oh really?” Debbie crossed her arms. “You just accidentally wandered into a room with a woman in sequins?”
“Yes! I mean no! I mean YES but not like that!”
Cornell, half-asleep, added, “Dad got a hooker? Nice.”
“NOT NICE!” Debbie snapped.
KY, already stressed from Shawn‑related heartbreak, snapped at Cornell, “Can you NOT encourage him? You’re such an dumbass sometimes!”
Cornell shot back, “Oh, I’m the idiot? You’re the one crying into pastries!”
“AT LEAST I HAVE FEELINGS!” KY yelled.
Barry threw up his arms. “Can we all stop yelling before the French kick us out of the country?”
Debbie glared at him. “You’re lucky I didn’t drown you in the bathtub last
The Jelly family sat in tense silence as the train rolled out of Paris.
Finally, Barry cleared his throat. “Okay… new rule. I vote we don’t talk about Paris to each other.”
Debbie nodded. “Agreed. And I vote we don't talk we don't follow orders from you anymore!"
Barry roared, "FINE! I vote we don't talk about wine anymore!"
KY adds on, "I vote we don't talk about the "No Friends Just Family Rule" anymore!
Cornell added, “Here's one, I vote we don't talk about how France is different from the US anymore! On an unrelated note, Especially the part where Dad almost accepted a...”
“NOT ANOTHER WORD,” Barry barked.
KY sighed. “Fine. No Paris talk.”
They all stared out the window, silently pretending the last 24 hours didn't occur at all.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
On their way to the Eternal City. Feeling their anger resurface. The Jelly family begin to annoy each other. Barry pulled a newspaper. Debbie downed some wine. Cornell plays on his cellphone and pretended to talk to RG and Reggie very loudly. KY was blowing bubble gum.
A waiter on the train spotted them. And shouted, "STOP IT! STOP IT! You're disrupting all the passangers."
Barry, Debbie, Cornell, and KY all got the message. "At time like this I wish we could've stayed in Walla Walla!" Protested Debbie. "Oh come on. This trip isn't so bad." Barry imples.
"I haven't complained." Cornell said. "The only thing to make this trip better would be if Shawn came with us!" KY answers.
"You ruined everything with going to that prostitutes room!" Debbie snarked. "In the words of Adam Sandler in Bulletproof! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!!" "Bullshit! You fucked her you know you did!" Debbie whispered out loud.
An hour later. The train finally made it's way to Rome.
"Look! We're in Rome now!" Barry pointed out. The train stopped. All the passangers get off and the Jelly family were the last to get off.
Viewing their surroundings. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell forgot about their family hang ups. "That was a long trip from Paris! If only we had a movie to watch during the train trip!" Cornell says. "Never mind that, baby! Look where we are!" Debbie tells Cornell. "Just like how it looks on Television!" exclaimed Barry. "Beautiful city. If Shawn came with us he can propose to me here! KY sighed.
First thing the Jelly family did was find a hotel to stay in. Once they got settled they decide to tour the city.
"You know what? How about we try on those clothes we bought back in Paris!" suggests Barry. "Damn! That way we can make an awesome statement!" Debbie agreed.
Going into separate bathrooms. Barry, Debbie, Cornell and KY all put on their clothes each of them got in Paris. As soon as they come out with the clothes. All the residents of Rome begin to laugh at them and curse at the Jelly Family in Italian.
"Shit! They're treating us like we're mass murderers or something!" Cornell speaks out. "What's wrong with our clothes?" chided KY. Debbie spoke, "This brings all new meaning to the phrase 'fashion victims'." "Maybe we didn't see the tags." Barry says.
Looking at the tags, The Jelly family see that their clothes are from Abercromby and Finch and Kendall + Kylie!
"Mother fucker! No wonder they were giving us dirty looks!" Barry shouted. "Abercromby and Finch!" "Kendall + Kylie!"
"Another disaster! Why did we even take this trip for?" Debbie yelled out. "Because for some quality family time? And don't forget to reignite the spark in our marriage!" Barry reminded her.
"We should've put that lottery money in the fucking bank and then invest in something more wisely!" Debbie screamed at Barry.
"I'm with Mom here! This trip has been bad luck for me. Ever since I texted Shawn that I was going on this stupid ass trip, he's totally ghosted me! He's probably lying that he went to an all boys junior college! Because of you and this trip my boyfriend is either gay or has moved on with someone else!" KY screams.
Cornell joins in on the berating, "I didn't want to tell you this but it's been torture not being allowed to talk to RG and Reggie! Ever since that stupid rule you enforced! In fact KY and I secretly broke your fucking rule!"
KY spat out, "That's right Dad. We broke your stupid rule! What're you gonna do about it?"
Barry tries to defend himself and be the bigger Jellyfish. "Know what. I'm not going to play your little games. I refuse to be your punching bag here! What you did was disrespectful breaking that rule. But I'll let that slide! Now come on! Let's forgot our troubles and go do some sight seeing!" "All right! You talked us into it!" KY rolled her eyes.
"In the meantime you start to take responsibility!" Debbie points out. "What do you think this is, Mouthwashing!" Barry shrugged.
Joining a tour group. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell were on their way to the Trevi Fountain. "Anyone want to get a drink from this here fountain?" Barry announced. "I don't want to see this fountain! I want Shawn!" KY whined.
Debbie got an idea, "Let's all take a family selfie!" "Okay as long as I can take one of myself and send it to RG and Reggie!" Cornell bargined. "Deal!" Barry said. Taking their selfies at the fountain. First Barry takes one of himself, Debbie, KY, and Cornell.
Then KY and Cornell take selfies of themselves at the Trevi Fountain. KY sent hers to Shawn and Cornell sent his to RG and Reggie.
The tour group was now going to the Colosseum. With the Jelly family soon following.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Walking around the Colosseum. Barry, KY, Debbie, and Cornell were taking in the sights. "And to think there were bloody gladitor style battles here!" Barry precieves!
"Concerts are held here." Cornell said. KY thinks to herself, 'One more mess up and I'm calling Shawn.' "Rome was also the place for orgies back in the day!" Debbie says.
When the tour of Rome was over. Walking out of the Colosseum wearing Coloseum style merchandise. The Jelly family began to walk the streets of Rome. Only to have people in Vespas speed by them. "How can those motorcycles run on these cobblestone roads?" Cornell asks.
Some more tourists and residents walked passed the Jelly family looking at them in disgust. Felt like Deja Vu for Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell.
"Shit! They're laughing at us again!" Debbie shrieked. "Must be these souvineers we are wearing. KY looked around. Cornell suggested, "Let's see why they're laughing and treating us like fuck!"
Running up to one of the tourists who dissed the Jelly family. Cornell says, "Excuse me? Why are you laughing at my family?" "Go take a look at that billboard over there." "You'll find out." "If they're your family, how come you're not a jellyfish?" "I was adopted by them." was Cornell's best explaination.
Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell all saw the billboard before them. It looked like an advertisement for a porno movie starring jellyfish. The video on Cornell's cellphone that he took by mistake before the trip that he believed the bicycle tourist back in Paris had deleted it for him, had come back to haunt him.
The Billboard reads, MEDUSE ARRAPATE SOTTO LA DOCCIA. Which translated to Horny Jellyfish In The Shower.
"OH MY GAWD!!!!" Debbie reacts with anger. "WHO IN THE FUCK DID THIS TO US!!!!!" Barry joins in. "You guys did a porn that went viral!" KY asked who was shocked and apalled.
Cornell gulps. "I started to remember. This was the shower we took before the trip!" Debbie explains. "Yeah, you're right! I even did my Coast Soap commercial impersonation! Remember the I Sure Do Feel Good Today!" Barry chided.
"I have a confession to make. Mom and Dad." Cornell begins to sweat. "What could you have done to do with this?" KY asked.
"Before we left my cellphone needed charging. I might have pressed the wrong button by accident when I was juicing it up. Then in Paris this man came to me and offered to erase it for me and....." before Cornell can say anything else, he looked into his pocket for his cellphone only to see it was the same one he had but it wasn't his.
"DAMN! I THINK THAT FUCKER PICKPOCKET ME!" Cornell screams. "You son of a bitch! You did that on purpose didn't you Cornell!" Debbie charges in on her adopted son.
"Now, try to listen to reason here. Cornell is saying it was an accident." Barry reasons. Debbie makes a scene like no other, "I can't believe this! It's the most humiliating thing you've ever done to me This is the last straw! All of you!
"Besides he said got his cellphone stolen. Be mad at the person who stole his phone, not at him!" KY sides with Cornell.
Still on a tirade Debbie continues her rant, "This is the lowest! The worst! I am done with you all! I am done with you for good! Hope you're proud of yourself for what you did, Cornell!" Debbie walks off, away from her family.
"Where are you going! We're supposed to go to the Vatacan next!" Barry called out after his wife. "I'm going back to the hotel!" Debbie cried.
"Mom might be gone for good. All because she didn't want to believe me. I'd never film you guys having sex on purpose! Now what'll we do?" Cornell said in a voice of shame. Debbie sat in a cafe in the hotel they were staying at. Humiliarated. Embarrassed. Thinking the whole world now believes that she and Barry are husband and wife porn stars.
Then a man in tan suit and a white fedora came to sit with Debbie. Looking at him, Debbie asks, "You one of those Sopranos types?" The man laughs as he answers in an Italian accent, "No I'm a businessman here in Rome."
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Debbie narrowed her eyes at the man in the tan suit. Something about him felt… off. Too smooth. Too polite. Too interested.
“So,” she said, crossing her arms, “you just sit down with random women in cafés wearing a fedora like you’re auditioning for a reboot of Casablanca?”
The man chuckled. “My name is Seppe. Seppe Dominico! I run… many businesses. Imports. Exports. Tourism. Media.”
"You look so distraught my dear. Seppe notices.
"My son and husband are giving me troubles. My husband got propositioned and my son filmed us in the shower." Debbie explains. "That's terrible, madam!" Seppe replies. He leaned in. “And I must say, you look familiar.”
Debbie froze. “Familiar how?”
Seppe tapped his phone. A thumbnail of the billboard video flickered on the screen.
Debbie’s soul left her body.
“Oh HELL no—”
Before she could stand, Seppe smoothly rose, slipped an arm around her shoulders, and whispered, “Come with me. We talk business. Very private business.”
Debbie tried to pull away, but Seppe guided her toward the exit with unsettling calm. “Please. Do not make scene. Rome is… sensitive to drama.”
Debbie hissed, “Buddy, I invented drama.”
But Seppe was already ushering her into a sleek black car waiting outside.
The door shut.
The car sped off.
Back at the street near the Colosseum, KY’s phone buzzed. Debbie’s voice came through, shaky and furious:
“KY some Italian businessman just kidnapped me! He’s got a—something! Something metal! I don’t know! Just get your father!”
The call cut.
KY’s stomach dropped.
“Oh no. Oh no no no no Shawn is gonna kill me if I let his future mother‑in‑law get abducted.”
KY immediately dialed Shawn. The call was one sided.
“Shawn! It's me! KY! Now listen here! You did nothing but ignore me since I announced I went on this trip. You owe me big time! If you cared about me at all. As much as you say you do! I need plane tickets. Right! Plane Tickets back to Walla Walla! Now! For all of us! Rome is cursed. I repeat fucking cursed.”
Shawn didn’t even question it. “On it.”
KY hung up and sprinted toward Barry and Cornell. "He loves me! He really loves me!" KY's phone rings again, and Shawn answers, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to reach you. Exams have been stressful. Tell your family that the plane tickets I ordered are at the Roman Counselette."
Sighs in reliefs, "Thank you so much! I love you!"
Barry runs to where KY was on the street corner. Blinked at her. “Debbie’s WHAT?”
“Kidnapped!” KY shouted. “Some guy in a tan suit took her!”
Cornell gasped. “Was it because of the billboard? Oh God, Mom’s gonna think I caused this too”
Barry grabbed Cornell by the shoulders. “Son, this is NOT the time for guilt spirals! We need a car!”
KY pointed at a tiny red Fiat parked nearby. “That one!” Barry squinted. “That’s not ours.”
“Do you SEE me caring right now?” Barry shouted with desperation! Cornell shrugged. “When in Rome, dawg!"
They piled in. Barry hot‑wired the car with surprising competence. “Dad,” KY said slowly, “how do you know how to do that?” Barry spoke out, “Your mother and I had a wild phase in the 90s.”
The Fiat shot into traffic.
Seppe’s black car was already weaving through Roman streets, tourists diving out of the way, Vespas honking like angry geese.
Barry floored it.
Cornell clung to the dashboard. “We’re gonna die in a clown car!”
KY leaned out the window. “MOM!! WE’RE COMING!”
Inside Seppe’s car, Debbie was pounding on the window. “You picked the WRONG jellyfish today, pal!”
Seppe kept one hand on the wheel, the other holding something shiny—not pointed at her, but enough to keep her still.
“You and your family,” he said calmly, “have become very famous. I intend to profit.”
Debbie snarled. “Over my dead—HEY WATCH THAT FOUNTAIN!”
Seppe turned too sharply. The car skidded. The world spun.
And with a spectacular splash, the businessman’s car launched straight into a decorative fountain, water spraying everywhere like a Roman fireworks show.
Barry’s Fiat screeched to a stop. KY, Cornell, and Barry jumped out. Debbie crawled out of the fountain-soaked wreck, soaked but furious.
“That’s IT. I’m done with Italy.” Debbie cries out. "And this trip too!" Barry said. Debbie then apologizes to Cornell for doubting him. "It's cool Mom!" Cornell tells Debbie.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Two days after the vacation had ended. The Paris events, the rude waiters, the prostitute, the train ride to Rome, the billboard disaster, the kidnapping, the fountain crash, and Debbie’s dramatic vow to “never set foot in Europe again unless it’s for a refund,” the Jelly family stood inside the Roman Counselette lobby.
Shawn had come through. A clerk handed KY a packet of documents. “Your boyfriend sent these over this morning,” she said.
KY flipped through the envelope. “Plane tickets. All of them. First class. Shawn is officially the only sane person in my life.”
Debbie snatched her ticket. “Good. I’m ready to go home. I want American plumbing. American coffee. American everything.”
Barry nodded. “And no more fountains.”
Cornell raised a hand. “And no more billboards.”
Debbie glared. “Don’t push it.”
The Jellies settled into their seats as the plane lifted off from Rome.
Barry stretched out. “Ahhh… nothing like the feeling of going back to Walla Walla!.”
Debbie sighed with relief. “No kidnappings. No porn billboards. No Vespas trying to run me over. Bliss.”
KY leaned back. “I swear, when we land, I’m hugging Shawn so hard he’s gonna need a chiropractor.”
Cornell smiled weakly. “And maybe Mom won’t disown me once we’re back on American soil.”
Debbie patted his hand. “We’ll see.” Barry points to the Statue of Liberty! "Look kids! It's the Statue of Liberty!" "Never in a million years would I ever be glad to see the Statue of LIberty!" Cornell says.
Hours later, the plane descended toward New York City. The skyline glittered. The harbor shimmered. The Statue of Liberty stood tall and proud....
Until the plane’s turbulence caused the camera angle to tilt, making Lady Liberty’s torch appear sideways.
A booming voiceover declared:
“YES, THE JELLIES ARE BACK IN THE USA!”
Barry blinked. “Did anyone else hear that?”
KY shrugged. “Honestly? At this point, nothing surprises me.”
Debbie crossed her arms. “Good. Let the whole country know we’re home. Maybe they’ll treat us better than Europe did.”
Cornell whispered, “I hope so…” "Good news! I called the bank while we were boarding the plane. We still have plenty of money left over from when you won the Lottery Barry!" Debbie announces.
"Yes! Thank the Lord!" Barry cheers.
The ending shows the Jellies in pictures misadventures in Paris and Rome. While the Lindsay Buckingham song Dancing Across The USA plays.
A normal day for everyone else in the Walla Walla Washington neighbors. Not for the Jelly family though. For they are in for the surprise of their lives.
During a quiet dinner. Barry was halfway through microwaving leftover spaghetti when the lottery app on his phone buzzed. "Hey, Barry! Put down your device! It's Device Free dinner! Don't you rememeber reading that on Common Sense Media?" Debbie tells her husband "Yeah, Dad, even me and Cornell don't use cellphones when we eat." KY said.
It was one of those lazy, unimpressed buzzes that usually meant “you won a free ticket, calm down.” He almost ignored it. Barry always almost ignored things. "Dad, you ought to check out your cellphone." Cornell advised.
Debbie didn’t. She leaned over his shoulder with the intensity of someone who had already mentally spent the money on new curtains, a new car, and possibly a new life. “You heard Cornell, Check it,” Debbie said, tapping the screen like the phone owed her rent.
KY wandered in wearing headphones, mouthing lyrics to a song only she knew. Cornell followed behind her, carrying the family’s ancient laptop like it was a sacred relic. “The Wi-Fi died again,” Cornell announced, just as Barry finally swiped open the notification.
The kitchen went quiet.
Barry blinked. Then blinked again. “Damn, Deb… I think… I think we won.”
Debbie froze mid‑curtain‑fantasy. KY pulled off one headphone. Cornell set the laptop down very slowly, like the universe might explode if he dropped it.
“Won what?” KY asked.
Barry turned the screen around. “The Lottery.”
"You never told us you entered the Lottery!" Debbie said with spite. "Well, I wanted to surprise you all if I won!" said Barry. "Dad, how much did we win?" asked Cornell. "We won, $500,000!" Announced Barry. "Wow! So awesome, Dad! Maybe you can buy me that car I've always wanted!" said KY.
"Easy there, girl. It's your Dad's money. Let him do what he wants with it." Debbie tells KY. "That's right Baby Girl! This is "Big Poppa's House!! And I'm not talking about that Martin Lawrence movie!" Barry said.
Thinking it over, Barry asks his family, "Speaking of movies, you know how in those flicks about a family winning some money and they all decide to go on a trip?" "Mm Hmm, where you are going with this?" said Debbie.
"How about we, the Jellies do something like that! Use this money to go on a family trip!" suggested Barry. "Oh no! I'm in a serious relationship with my new boyfriend Shawn. What if we're gone for too long and he moves on without me?" asked KY with concern.
"Okay, I got it. We'll only be gone for a month. How's that." Barry asked. "Uhhh, okay. I got a text from him. Shawn is starting his semester at a junior college and he'll be gone for a month. Thankfully it's an all male junior college." KY sighs with relief.
"Is your boyfriend going to Rushmore!" laughs Cornell.
"Ha! Really hilarious Cornell! Anyway, Dad. You haven't told us yet where we are going for a trip, Dad!" KY speaks out.
"We've never been to Europe. How about we go to Rome?" asks Barry. "The Eternal City? That place where the best wine is made! I'm in!" Debbie cheered!
KY says, "We need to make all the arrangements like get tickets and things." Cornell taps on his iPHONE. "Shit! I'll have to charge this up!" Connecting his iPHONE to a charger. Cornell by mistake pressed the "RECORD" button. The iPHONE was aimed at Debbie's and Barry's bedroom as his parents were taking a shower because the trip they planned ignited a whole new chapter in their marriage.
"WOW! DO I FEEL GOOD TODAY!" boasted Barry in the shower. Debbie laughs, "It Really Brings You Back To Life!" "That always turns you on when I quote my favorite Coast commercial!" Barry laughs.
It took a week to prepare for the impending trip to Rome. A long week of packing and waiting for the plane tickets to come in the mail. When the day came. KY and Cornell had their suitcases packed. Waiting for Barry and Debbie to get to the car.
"Damn, how long does it take for Mom and Dad to get ready?" Cornell said rolling his eyes. KY sees Barry and Debbie running out the house with their luggage.
"Sorry we kept you waiting kids!" Barry said. "We had to use the bathroom!" Debbie said. "Get in the car kids, this is a family trip of a lifetime!" Barry shouted with happiness. Cornell and KY got into the back seat of the car as did Barry and Debbie were got in the front seats.
"First stop, Walla Walla Airport!" Debbie says as the Jelly family drives out of their neighborhood and into their adventure. "Will we have any stopovers, Dad?" asks KY. "It's round trip. The plane will take us right there!" answers Barry.
Cornell tells KY, "I'm going to take selfies of myself in Rome and send them to RG and Reggie! And some cute girls in my class too!"
"Oh that reminds me, I'm going to email Shawn!" KY said. "Hey! We are not going to talk about our friends or lovers on this trip! Got it?" Debbie demands. "Yes I agree. Let's have it be only a Family Affair! Without Sebastian Cabot of course!" Barry added on.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
When the Jellies arrived at the Walla Walla Airport. First getting through customs. Taking off their shoes. Cornell and KY were nervous that the customs agents will look into their cellphones. And were relieved when the cellphones were given back. "Piece of shit customs agents! They don't care whose rights they volate!" Barry scoffed.
"Fucking Homeland Security!" Debbie mumbled under her breath.
Once the Jellies made it past customs, all of them put their suitcases on the escalator and made it to their terminal, their flight going to Rome. Their flight leaves in 30 mintes. "We made it just in time, kids!" Barry said. KY was deep into his cellphone, letting out a moan. "What's wrong baby?" Debbie asks.
"Shawn isn't writing back to me." KY whispers. "Yeah, KY has a point. I'm trying to write to RG and Reggie, and I'm coming up short!" Cornell complained. "Did you guys forget about the No Talking About Friends Rule Already?" Debbie looked at them with a deadpan gleam in her eyes.
"Whoops! Sorry." KY said as she and Cornell put away with cellphones. The person at the desk said, "All passengers get ready to board Flight 1112 With Nonstop Service to Rome!"
All the passengers were giving their airplane tickets to the person at the desk and boarded the plane. As soon as all the passengers were seated. The pilot comes into the cockpit about to fly the plane. That was until the co-pilot came to sit next to him.
"Uhhh, sir? Where is this plane going?" asked the co-pilot. "To Rome of course." the pilot responds. "Actually sir, this plane is going to Paris, did you know that?" the co-pilot spoke. "No I did not. This was a huge mistake. Let's not tell anyone." said the pilot. "They'll figure it out themeselves!" said the co-pilot. Then the copilot and the pilot begin to laugh at each other.
Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking! We are on a non stop flight to Rome Italy. The flight will be 10 hours. The weather in Rome is...."
"10 hours! Damn! What the fuck are we going to do for 10 hours!" panicked Cornell. "Son, you ought to have my job. I deal with flights more than 10 hours." Barry said.
"Now I know how Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan felt at the end of Rush Hour." Cornell said. "We're traveling overseas. What did you expect?" KY implies.
It look 15 minutes for the plane to glide down the runaway and into the sky. 5 hours into the sky. Barry told Debbie, "you know you look really beautiful right now!" Debbie kisses Barry. "You know honey guys at work told me there's a very special club we can join. Meet in the bathroom!" Barry flirted with Debbie. A stewardess comes to Barry and Debbie. "Would you like something to drink sir?"
"Nothing for me." Debbie told the stewardess. "I'll have a Coke!" Barry speaks out. "Do you want that in a can?" asked the stewardess. "No I'll have it right here!" Barry said. The stewardess stared at Barry with a blank expression as she leaves. Barry and Debbie decide to go the bathroom. Barry stopped by where KY and Cornell were sitting.
"Your mother has something stuck in her eye. I'm going to get it out." Barry said. Debbie was already in the bathroom waiting for Barry.
KY and Cornell say to each other, "While Mom and Dad are away in the bathroom.." "We can talk to our friends on our phones!"
"Please! Let me hear from Shawn!" KY begged. "RG and Reggie, dont keep me waiting!" Cornell said.
Standing by the bathroom area, Barry didn't know which bathroom Debbie was in. Debbie then opened the door and dragged Barry in. "Damn woman! I thought we were playing Mile High Club! Not Hide and Seek!" Barry told Debbie.
"I just wanted to have a little fun!" Debbie said. They noticed how small and cramped airplane bathrooms are. "This sure as shit isn't first class!" Debbie looked all around. Barry replies, "So what? That's make the best of it!" Barry and Debbie were going to make love in the airplane bathroom. That is until Barry put his foot into the toilet.
"SHIT! MY FOOT! MY FOOT! MY FOOT!" Barry screams in distress. "OOOOH! This airplane will go down if you get flushed!" Debbie managed to get his foot out of the toilet.
Nightfall came and all the windows in the airplanes were closed. All the passengers including the Jellies were asleep. The pilot and copilot snickered, "They're in for a huge surprise when they wake up!"
Five hours later the plane landed. The passengers woke up. It was the crack of dawn. The Jellies were excited. "Come on, kids! Let's see what Rome has to offer!" Barry tells Cornell and KY.
Momentarily getting out of the airplane and getting their luggage. Barry, Debbie, Cornell, and KY heard French over the loudspeakers in the airport.
"Does that sound Italian?" asked Barry. "Well, expect to hear different languages here." assures Debbie. "That sounds like French to me." KY observed. "Yes, you're right. It is!" Cornell said. Once they stepped outside the airport, thinking they were in Rome. The Jellies notice they were actually in Paris!
"Uhhh, Dad. There's no Effell Tower in Rome is there?" Cornell had to ask. "This looks like some Da Vinci Code bullshit!" Barry speaks. "Oh shit! Did we take the wrong flight! Our flight was going to Rome, right?" Debbie said with confusion.
"Guys, we're in Paris. But how did it happen!" KY pondered. The two pilots flying the plane walked by and laughed. "You jellyfish assholes just got Punk'D!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Now that they all knew they were in Paris instead of Rome. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell decide to make the best of it for now.
"All right, here's the game plan. We'll stay here in Paris for a day. Check into a hotel and stay the night. Until then maybe we can embrace our little mistake here." Barry advises everyone.
"Hell yeah! If I can get some of that wine!" Debbie agrees. "Hey, wait a minute. You guys are sea creatures, aren't you all worried these French dudes are going to eat you all?" Cornell conceded with concern.
"That's frogs dumbass!" KY snided. Cornell rolls his eyes, "Thanks for correcting me there, Mrs Know-It-All!" Debbie points to a hotel, "Hey look. We can check in there."
Walking over to the hotel, The Jellies go inside and check in with the conierge. Who looked at the Jelly family like they've never seen anthromophic jellyfish before. Even the bellhops looked at them strangely.
"Hey, we'd like a place to stay for the night." Barry tells the conierge. "I'm Barry Jelly and my family and I are from the United States of America. Just throwing that in there."
The conierge and the bellhops agree to check them in. "Do you guys take Visa or American Express?" asked Barry. The conierge, and the bellhops all look at them and laugh. "Damn! Won't you look at that! They like us already!" Debbie observes.
"Typical American Assholes." the coneirge and the bellhops said in French. Once the Jellies got settled into their hotel. KY uses the bathroom to secretly check to see if Shawn wrote to her.
KY, saddened still hasn't heard from Shawn since she and her family left for the trip. Emotionally devestated thinking Shawn had forgotten all about her. Not wanting her family to know she snuck behind their backs and go against their "no friends family only rule." KY pretended like nothing was wrong.
As soon as KY was done with the bathroom. Barry, Debbie, and Cornell were getting settled. "Okay everyone cool?" he asks. "Yes." "Me too." "Don't forget me." "Maybe we all ought to go sight seeing. Then get dinner." Barry suggested. OKay.
Getting out of their hotel, and Jelly family went to the Effel Tower. There was a souvineer stand that sold barets. Debbie takes a selfie of herself, Barry, Cornell, and KY standing next to the Effel Tower in their barrets. Then soon all decide to climb it.
Sneaking off from his family. Cornell sees a girl looking at the view from the Effiel Tpower. "Mademoiselle!" Cornell greets her. "Oh hey!" the girl sees Cornell.
"I'm on a trip here with my family! What's your name?" asked Cornell. "Sarah. I'm here visiting Paris with my older sister who's in college."
"So Sarah, where are you from since you speak English?" Cornell chuckled. "Indianpolis!" Sarah answered. "Cool I'm from Walla Walla!" Cornell tells Sarah.
"Isn't that in Washington State?" Sarah said. "That's the one! Damn! I never thought in a million years that I would meet a girl from Indianpolis right here in Paris!" Cornell told Sarah.
KY pulls Cornell away. "You get to make out with girls and I can't get ahold of Shawn!" Being dragged away, Cornell screams, "SSSSAAAARRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!" "Calm down there Marlon Brando! Mom and Dad want to do some more touring!" KY orders Cornell.
After their time in the Effiel Tower was done. Then in a musical montage that sounded like a cross between French Opera and Hip Hop. the Jelly family were seen going to museums like the Louvre, and Centre Pompidou, shopping, wine testing, then finally stopping at a restaurant.
"Damn, maybe we didn't need to go to Rome at all! Our trip has been amazing, dawgs!" Cornell exclaimed. "Yes as a matter of fact, you're right." Barry answers. Debbie got a hold of the menu. "Let's call a waiter. Oh Garson!" Barry calls out. A French waiter comes to their table.
Barry shows him the menu and says, "I'll have the Boeuf Bourguignon, please." The waiter looked at them with contempt and said in French, "Obviously you don't speak French you don't understand a damn word!"
Continuing ordering the food, Barry says, "Also I would like a hamburger and fries." French waiter replies, "Remarkable accent. You from Portland or Seattle?" "Walla Walla." Debbie tells the waiter. Barry orders some drinks, "Yes and a coke." The French waiter responded in French, "Two American champagnes." "What else can we get here, hmmm, let's see and some breaded shrimp too."
Oblivious to the fact that the waiter was being mean to them, he says in French, "I can bring you dishwater and you don't know the difference." Debbie laughs as does KY and Cornell.
Barry orders some more, "and some souffle and crissants too." The French waiter complements on Debbie's breast, "You wife has a nice set of tits."
"We all done ordering?" Debbie wanted to know. "Guess that's all." Barry tells the French waiter who departs to get their food and tells them "Go Fuck Yourself" in French.
"That waiter was a nice guy." KY speaks. "I know right. We never find anyone of his kind back in Walla Walla." Debbie agreed.
"Hope his name is Jean Luke!" Cornell mumbled.
In the kitchen of the restaurant The French cooks are taking out a bunch of TV dinners and cooked them and served them to the Jelly family. "The French really know how to live!" Cornell said. The French waiters were watching them and laugh and say, "They think it's real French food." "What a bunch of shit for brains."
KY was packing away the crissants. "KY, baby girl. Why are you pigging out?" KY cries out, "Who do I have to stay thin for!" "Is this about Shawn? You worried he's going out with someone else while you're on this vacation?" Barry inquired. "Yes! But don't worry, I didn't try to contact him or nothing." KY noted.
"Girl, don't get an eating disorder over it." Debbie said. "Yeah or you'll become another statistic and end up at Girls Inc." Barry remarked. "KY at Girls Inc? Hard to image." Cornell joked.
When their dinner was over. Barry now wanted to find a way to get to Rome. "Anyone go on their cellphones and see if we can find a train station." "Right, Dawg!" Cornell says. "As such as we had fun here in Paris, our goal was to go to Rome!" Barry shouts. was Looking through his cellphone he sees a video he unknowningly recorded Barry and Debbie in the shower. "The hell!"
Trying to erase it, a French man on a bike comes up and says, "What seems to be the problem young man?" "I had no idea I mistakenly filmed my parents in the shower." Cornell tells the man.
"Here give me your phone, I can help you." The French man said. Taking Cornell's phone and Cornell was looking at his family. The French man on the bike took Cornell's phone and kept it for himself and replaced it with a cellphone lookalike.
"There you go! All erased!" the French man told Cornell. "Have a great day!" the French man rides off on his bike. KY found a train station on her cellphone. "Look at this, guys. A train set for Rome is coming tommorow morning!"
"All right. Thanks for that, KY. Let's go back to the hotel!" Barry tells his family.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Debbie announced, “All right, I’m taking a bath. If anyone needs me, pretend you don’t.” She grabbed a towel and marched into the bathroom like a queen returning to her throne.
Barry, meanwhile, wandered the hallway with the hotel keycard, squinting at the room numbers. “Why do they gotta use fancy curly fonts? Just put a normal number!” he muttered.
He stopped at a door he thought was theirs, swiped the card, and stepped inside.
A woman in a glittery dress looked up from applying lipstick. “Oh! You must be my midnight client,” she said in a thick Parisian accent.
Barry froze. “Uh… I think I’m in the wrong”
Before he could finish, she shoved a brochure into his hands. “Special discount tonight! Tell your friends!”
Barry backed out of the room so fast he nearly tripped over his own tentacles. “Wrong room! Wrong room! Wrong room!” he whispered‑yelled down the hallway.
He finally found the correct door, slipped inside, and acted naturally.
The next morning, Debbie emerged from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel, already annoyed. “Barry, why is there a brochure for ‘Exotic Companionship Services’ on the nightstand?”
Barry choked on his complimentary croissant. “Debbie, I swear on all eight of my tentacles, that was a misunderstanding!”
“Oh really?” Debbie crossed her arms. “You just accidentally wandered into a room with a woman in sequins?”
“Yes! I mean no! I mean YES but not like that!”
Cornell, half-asleep, added, “Dad got a hooker? Nice.”
“NOT NICE!” Debbie snapped.
KY, already stressed from Shawn‑related heartbreak, snapped at Cornell, “Can you NOT encourage him? You’re such an dumbass sometimes!”
Cornell shot back, “Oh, I’m the idiot? You’re the one crying into pastries!”
“AT LEAST I HAVE FEELINGS!” KY yelled.
Barry threw up his arms. “Can we all stop yelling before the French kick us out of the country?”
Debbie glared at him. “You’re lucky I didn’t drown you in the bathtub last
The Jelly family sat in tense silence as the train rolled out of Paris.
Finally, Barry cleared his throat. “Okay… new rule. I vote we don’t talk about Paris to each other.”
Debbie nodded. “Agreed. And I vote we don't talk we don't follow orders from you anymore!"
Barry roared, "FINE! I vote we don't talk about wine anymore!"
KY adds on, "I vote we don't talk about the "No Friends Just Family Rule" anymore!
Cornell added, “Here's one, I vote we don't talk about how France is different from the US anymore! On an unrelated note, Especially the part where Dad almost accepted a...”
“NOT ANOTHER WORD,” Barry barked.
KY sighed. “Fine. No Paris talk.”
They all stared out the window, silently pretending the last 24 hours didn't occur at all.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
On their way to the Eternal City. Feeling their anger resurface. The Jelly family begin to annoy each other. Barry pulled a newspaper. Debbie downed some wine. Cornell plays on his cellphone and pretended to talk to RG and Reggie very loudly. KY was blowing bubble gum.
A waiter on the train spotted them. And shouted, "STOP IT! STOP IT! You're disrupting all the passangers."
Barry, Debbie, Cornell, and KY all got the message. "At time like this I wish we could've stayed in Walla Walla!" Protested Debbie. "Oh come on. This trip isn't so bad." Barry imples.
"I haven't complained." Cornell said. "The only thing to make this trip better would be if Shawn came with us!" KY answers.
"You ruined everything with going to that prostitutes room!" Debbie snarked. "In the words of Adam Sandler in Bulletproof! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!!" "Bullshit! You fucked her you know you did!" Debbie whispered out loud.
An hour later. The train finally made it's way to Rome.
"Look! We're in Rome now!" Barry pointed out. The train stopped. All the passangers get off and the Jelly family were the last to get off.
Viewing their surroundings. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell forgot about their family hang ups. "That was a long trip from Paris! If only we had a movie to watch during the train trip!" Cornell says. "Never mind that, baby! Look where we are!" Debbie tells Cornell. "Just like how it looks on Television!" exclaimed Barry. "Beautiful city. If Shawn came with us he can propose to me here! KY sighed.
First thing the Jelly family did was find a hotel to stay in. Once they got settled they decide to tour the city.
"You know what? How about we try on those clothes we bought back in Paris!" suggests Barry. "Damn! That way we can make an awesome statement!" Debbie agreed.
Going into separate bathrooms. Barry, Debbie, Cornell and KY all put on their clothes each of them got in Paris. As soon as they come out with the clothes. All the residents of Rome begin to laugh at them and curse at the Jelly Family in Italian.
"Shit! They're treating us like we're mass murderers or something!" Cornell speaks out. "What's wrong with our clothes?" chided KY. Debbie spoke, "This brings all new meaning to the phrase 'fashion victims'." "Maybe we didn't see the tags." Barry says.
Looking at the tags, The Jelly family see that their clothes are from Abercromby and Finch and Kendall + Kylie!
"Mother fucker! No wonder they were giving us dirty looks!" Barry shouted. "Abercromby and Finch!" "Kendall + Kylie!"
"Another disaster! Why did we even take this trip for?" Debbie yelled out. "Because for some quality family time? And don't forget to reignite the spark in our marriage!" Barry reminded her.
"We should've put that lottery money in the fucking bank and then invest in something more wisely!" Debbie screamed at Barry.
"I'm with Mom here! This trip has been bad luck for me. Ever since I texted Shawn that I was going on this stupid ass trip, he's totally ghosted me! He's probably lying that he went to an all boys junior college! Because of you and this trip my boyfriend is either gay or has moved on with someone else!" KY screams.
Cornell joins in on the berating, "I didn't want to tell you this but it's been torture not being allowed to talk to RG and Reggie! Ever since that stupid rule you enforced! In fact KY and I secretly broke your fucking rule!"
KY spat out, "That's right Dad. We broke your stupid rule! What're you gonna do about it?"
Barry tries to defend himself and be the bigger Jellyfish. "Know what. I'm not going to play your little games. I refuse to be your punching bag here! What you did was disrespectful breaking that rule. But I'll let that slide! Now come on! Let's forgot our troubles and go do some sight seeing!" "All right! You talked us into it!" KY rolled her eyes.
"In the meantime you start to take responsibility!" Debbie points out. "What do you think this is, Mouthwashing!" Barry shrugged.
Joining a tour group. Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell were on their way to the Trevi Fountain. "Anyone want to get a drink from this here fountain?" Barry announced. "I don't want to see this fountain! I want Shawn!" KY whined.
Debbie got an idea, "Let's all take a family selfie!" "Okay as long as I can take one of myself and send it to RG and Reggie!" Cornell bargined. "Deal!" Barry said. Taking their selfies at the fountain. First Barry takes one of himself, Debbie, KY, and Cornell.
Then KY and Cornell take selfies of themselves at the Trevi Fountain. KY sent hers to Shawn and Cornell sent his to RG and Reggie.
The tour group was now going to the Colosseum. With the Jelly family soon following.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Walking around the Colosseum. Barry, KY, Debbie, and Cornell were taking in the sights. "And to think there were bloody gladitor style battles here!" Barry precieves!
"Concerts are held here." Cornell said. KY thinks to herself, 'One more mess up and I'm calling Shawn.' "Rome was also the place for orgies back in the day!" Debbie says.
When the tour of Rome was over. Walking out of the Colosseum wearing Coloseum style merchandise. The Jelly family began to walk the streets of Rome. Only to have people in Vespas speed by them. "How can those motorcycles run on these cobblestone roads?" Cornell asks.
Some more tourists and residents walked passed the Jelly family looking at them in disgust. Felt like Deja Vu for Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell.
"Shit! They're laughing at us again!" Debbie shrieked. "Must be these souvineers we are wearing. KY looked around. Cornell suggested, "Let's see why they're laughing and treating us like fuck!"
Running up to one of the tourists who dissed the Jelly family. Cornell says, "Excuse me? Why are you laughing at my family?" "Go take a look at that billboard over there." "You'll find out." "If they're your family, how come you're not a jellyfish?" "I was adopted by them." was Cornell's best explaination.
Barry, Debbie, KY, and Cornell all saw the billboard before them. It looked like an advertisement for a porno movie starring jellyfish. The video on Cornell's cellphone that he took by mistake before the trip that he believed the bicycle tourist back in Paris had deleted it for him, had come back to haunt him.
The Billboard reads, MEDUSE ARRAPATE SOTTO LA DOCCIA. Which translated to Horny Jellyfish In The Shower.
"OH MY GAWD!!!!" Debbie reacts with anger. "WHO IN THE FUCK DID THIS TO US!!!!!" Barry joins in. "You guys did a porn that went viral!" KY asked who was shocked and apalled.
Cornell gulps. "I started to remember. This was the shower we took before the trip!" Debbie explains. "Yeah, you're right! I even did my Coast Soap commercial impersonation! Remember the I Sure Do Feel Good Today!" Barry chided.
"I have a confession to make. Mom and Dad." Cornell begins to sweat. "What could you have done to do with this?" KY asked.
"Before we left my cellphone needed charging. I might have pressed the wrong button by accident when I was juicing it up. Then in Paris this man came to me and offered to erase it for me and....." before Cornell can say anything else, he looked into his pocket for his cellphone only to see it was the same one he had but it wasn't his.
"DAMN! I THINK THAT FUCKER PICKPOCKET ME!" Cornell screams. "You son of a bitch! You did that on purpose didn't you Cornell!" Debbie charges in on her adopted son.
"Now, try to listen to reason here. Cornell is saying it was an accident." Barry reasons. Debbie makes a scene like no other, "I can't believe this! It's the most humiliating thing you've ever done to me This is the last straw! All of you!
"Besides he said got his cellphone stolen. Be mad at the person who stole his phone, not at him!" KY sides with Cornell.
Still on a tirade Debbie continues her rant, "This is the lowest! The worst! I am done with you all! I am done with you for good! Hope you're proud of yourself for what you did, Cornell!" Debbie walks off, away from her family.
"Where are you going! We're supposed to go to the Vatacan next!" Barry called out after his wife. "I'm going back to the hotel!" Debbie cried.
"Mom might be gone for good. All because she didn't want to believe me. I'd never film you guys having sex on purpose! Now what'll we do?" Cornell said in a voice of shame. Debbie sat in a cafe in the hotel they were staying at. Humiliarated. Embarrassed. Thinking the whole world now believes that she and Barry are husband and wife porn stars.
Then a man in tan suit and a white fedora came to sit with Debbie. Looking at him, Debbie asks, "You one of those Sopranos types?" The man laughs as he answers in an Italian accent, "No I'm a businessman here in Rome."
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Debbie narrowed her eyes at the man in the tan suit. Something about him felt… off. Too smooth. Too polite. Too interested.
“So,” she said, crossing her arms, “you just sit down with random women in cafés wearing a fedora like you’re auditioning for a reboot of Casablanca?”
The man chuckled. “My name is Seppe. Seppe Dominico! I run… many businesses. Imports. Exports. Tourism. Media.”
"You look so distraught my dear. Seppe notices.
"My son and husband are giving me troubles. My husband got propositioned and my son filmed us in the shower." Debbie explains. "That's terrible, madam!" Seppe replies. He leaned in. “And I must say, you look familiar.”
Debbie froze. “Familiar how?”
Seppe tapped his phone. A thumbnail of the billboard video flickered on the screen.
Debbie’s soul left her body.
“Oh HELL no—”
Before she could stand, Seppe smoothly rose, slipped an arm around her shoulders, and whispered, “Come with me. We talk business. Very private business.”
Debbie tried to pull away, but Seppe guided her toward the exit with unsettling calm. “Please. Do not make scene. Rome is… sensitive to drama.”
Debbie hissed, “Buddy, I invented drama.”
But Seppe was already ushering her into a sleek black car waiting outside.
The door shut.
The car sped off.
Back at the street near the Colosseum, KY’s phone buzzed. Debbie’s voice came through, shaky and furious:
“KY some Italian businessman just kidnapped me! He’s got a—something! Something metal! I don’t know! Just get your father!”
The call cut.
KY’s stomach dropped.
“Oh no. Oh no no no no Shawn is gonna kill me if I let his future mother‑in‑law get abducted.”
KY immediately dialed Shawn. The call was one sided.
“Shawn! It's me! KY! Now listen here! You did nothing but ignore me since I announced I went on this trip. You owe me big time! If you cared about me at all. As much as you say you do! I need plane tickets. Right! Plane Tickets back to Walla Walla! Now! For all of us! Rome is cursed. I repeat fucking cursed.”
Shawn didn’t even question it. “On it.”
KY hung up and sprinted toward Barry and Cornell. "He loves me! He really loves me!" KY's phone rings again, and Shawn answers, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to reach you. Exams have been stressful. Tell your family that the plane tickets I ordered are at the Roman Counselette."
Sighs in reliefs, "Thank you so much! I love you!"
Barry runs to where KY was on the street corner. Blinked at her. “Debbie’s WHAT?”
“Kidnapped!” KY shouted. “Some guy in a tan suit took her!”
Cornell gasped. “Was it because of the billboard? Oh God, Mom’s gonna think I caused this too”
Barry grabbed Cornell by the shoulders. “Son, this is NOT the time for guilt spirals! We need a car!”
KY pointed at a tiny red Fiat parked nearby. “That one!” Barry squinted. “That’s not ours.”
“Do you SEE me caring right now?” Barry shouted with desperation! Cornell shrugged. “When in Rome, dawg!"
They piled in. Barry hot‑wired the car with surprising competence. “Dad,” KY said slowly, “how do you know how to do that?” Barry spoke out, “Your mother and I had a wild phase in the 90s.”
The Fiat shot into traffic.
Seppe’s black car was already weaving through Roman streets, tourists diving out of the way, Vespas honking like angry geese.
Barry floored it.
Cornell clung to the dashboard. “We’re gonna die in a clown car!”
KY leaned out the window. “MOM!! WE’RE COMING!”
Inside Seppe’s car, Debbie was pounding on the window. “You picked the WRONG jellyfish today, pal!”
Seppe kept one hand on the wheel, the other holding something shiny—not pointed at her, but enough to keep her still.
“You and your family,” he said calmly, “have become very famous. I intend to profit.”
Debbie snarled. “Over my dead—HEY WATCH THAT FOUNTAIN!”
Seppe turned too sharply. The car skidded. The world spun.
And with a spectacular splash, the businessman’s car launched straight into a decorative fountain, water spraying everywhere like a Roman fireworks show.
Barry’s Fiat screeched to a stop. KY, Cornell, and Barry jumped out. Debbie crawled out of the fountain-soaked wreck, soaked but furious.
“That’s IT. I’m done with Italy.” Debbie cries out. "And this trip too!" Barry said. Debbie then apologizes to Cornell for doubting him. "It's cool Mom!" Cornell tells Debbie.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Two days after the vacation had ended. The Paris events, the rude waiters, the prostitute, the train ride to Rome, the billboard disaster, the kidnapping, the fountain crash, and Debbie’s dramatic vow to “never set foot in Europe again unless it’s for a refund,” the Jelly family stood inside the Roman Counselette lobby.
Shawn had come through. A clerk handed KY a packet of documents. “Your boyfriend sent these over this morning,” she said.
KY flipped through the envelope. “Plane tickets. All of them. First class. Shawn is officially the only sane person in my life.”
Debbie snatched her ticket. “Good. I’m ready to go home. I want American plumbing. American coffee. American everything.”
Barry nodded. “And no more fountains.”
Cornell raised a hand. “And no more billboards.”
Debbie glared. “Don’t push it.”
The Jellies settled into their seats as the plane lifted off from Rome.
Barry stretched out. “Ahhh… nothing like the feeling of going back to Walla Walla!.”
Debbie sighed with relief. “No kidnappings. No porn billboards. No Vespas trying to run me over. Bliss.”
KY leaned back. “I swear, when we land, I’m hugging Shawn so hard he’s gonna need a chiropractor.”
Cornell smiled weakly. “And maybe Mom won’t disown me once we’re back on American soil.”
Debbie patted his hand. “We’ll see.” Barry points to the Statue of Liberty! "Look kids! It's the Statue of Liberty!" "Never in a million years would I ever be glad to see the Statue of LIberty!" Cornell says.
Hours later, the plane descended toward New York City. The skyline glittered. The harbor shimmered. The Statue of Liberty stood tall and proud....
Until the plane’s turbulence caused the camera angle to tilt, making Lady Liberty’s torch appear sideways.
A booming voiceover declared:
“YES, THE JELLIES ARE BACK IN THE USA!”
Barry blinked. “Did anyone else hear that?”
KY shrugged. “Honestly? At this point, nothing surprises me.”
Debbie crossed her arms. “Good. Let the whole country know we’re home. Maybe they’ll treat us better than Europe did.”
Cornell whispered, “I hope so…” "Good news! I called the bank while we were boarding the plane. We still have plenty of money left over from when you won the Lottery Barry!" Debbie announces.
"Yes! Thank the Lord!" Barry cheers.
The ending shows the Jellies in pictures misadventures in Paris and Rome. While the Lindsay Buckingham song Dancing Across The USA plays.
Sign up to rate and review this story