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Sausages, It was a Tuesday


By Lord Raa


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Chapter 8


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Disclaim-me-do: 1 pint = 568 millilitres.


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Shinji woke to the buzzing if his alarm clock. He had not had a good night's sleep, thanks to the revelations from the night before. Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way to the bathroom.

Upon his return journey, he saw Ritsuko making breakfast.

"Morning, Shinji," the blonde greeted. "How are you feeling today?"

"Confused," was Shinji's reply.

"I thought as much. Well, sit down breakfast is ready," Ritsuko smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you. Ritsuko-san," Shinji nodded in appreciation.


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Gendo frowned at the report that told him that Rei had visited Dr. Akagi last night. "I was not expecting this. What purpose could she have with the 'good Doctor'?"

Deciding that it couldn't wait, he called his favourite pilot on her mobile phone.

"Rei?"

"¬Yes, Commander?¬"

"Did you visit the Third Child last night?" Gendo asked.

"¬I did. But it was at the request of Dr. Akagi.¬"

"Why did she want to see you?"

"¬Dr. Akagi wanted to show me something that related to Ikari-kun.¬"

"Why did she ask you to come over last night?"

"¬She did not state her reasons.¬"

"I see. You should get going or you'll be late for school," Gendo said, keeping his voice even. When he ended the call, he leant back in his chair, pondering this latest development.

"It looks like you're not doing as you're told, Dr. Akagi. I shall have to teach you a lesson."

He picked up his phone and dialled one of his operatives.

"¬Yes?¬"

"I have a job for you. I will contact again you shortly."

"¬Understood.¬"


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Shinji walked through the gates of his school, still thinking about his co-pilot and what relation she was to him. He was so wrapped up in these thoughts that he failed to see his friends stride up to him.

"Hey, Ikari!" Touji greeted with a slap on the shoulder. "How's it going?"

"Ok," Shinji lied.

"That's great," Touji smiled, not picking up the untruth. "So I hear that you won't be coming with us to Okinawa?"

"That's right," Shinji nodded sadly. While it was true that he and the other pilots weren't going, the blue eyed boy had not been told officially that they couldn't go with the rest of the class.

"Hey Shinji!" Asuka called out to her former roommate.

"Hello, Asuka."

"What's this I hear about us not going on the school trip?" the redhead demanded as she walked up to the boys.

"Because we don't know when an Angel is going to attack, we need to be here in Tokyo-3," Shinji explained.

"But that's ridiculous!"

"I disagree, Pilot Sohryu," a newly arrived Rei interjected. "It is a wise precaution."

"But we need a break just as much as the other students," Asuka insisted.

"But you are less deserving of a break from piloting than Shinji-kun," Rei countered evenly.

"What?"

"Shinji-kun has participated in every defeat of the five Angels so far," Rei told the indignant pilot. "You have only been involved in two operations. It would be unfair for you to go on the trip without him."

"What about you?" Asuka asked, having a suspicion that the First Child might think her better than the others.

"I do not wish to go on this trip."

"You mean without Shinji," Asuka snidely added.

"No."

"Are you telling me that you don't think of Shinji like that?"

"I do not understand."

"I mean you and Shinji getting all close," Asuka pointed at other pilots.

"What? Ayanami likes Shinji?" Kensuke asked, his tone half teasing and half curious.

"I bet she does," Touji said to his friend. "You know how the quiet types get drawn to each other. Maybe Shinji finally asked Ayanami out."

"That behaviour would be inappropriate," Rei said with a tone of finality.

The bell rang, forcing the students to continue this discussion later.


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Gendo Ikari was discussing an important task with one of his key operatives.

"Kaji, do you know what Dr. Akagi is up to?"

"I take it you mean the Third Child moving in with her?" the unshaven man asked before sipping his coffee.

"Yes. She also invited Rei over last night," Gendo said with a poker face. "I want you to discover Ritsuko's plans. I don't want them to interfere with mine."

"I understand," Kaji nodded.


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Back in Shinji's classroom, Touji and Kensuke were engaged in a furious instant message conversation.

"¬What's with Rei? She called Ikari by his first name,¬" read Kensuke's first communication.

"¬I dunno,¬" started Touji's. "¬I think they're going out or something.¬"

"¬But she said that it's wrong for her to do that sort of thing.¬"

"¬We could always ask her,¬" Touji suggested before firing off a message to the blue haired pilot.

"¬I am not at liberty to discuss pilot matters,¬" was Rei's reply. "¬Please refrain from further questions on this topic.¬"

"¬What? Why?¬" Touji quickly replied.

"¬I do not wish to discus my relationship with Shinji-kun at this time. Please do not ask any further questions.¬"

Shrugging, Touji started typing a note to Kensuke. "¬Rei was a bust. I don't reckon that the Devil'll be much help, neither.¬"

"¬I know what you mean,¬" was Kensuke's response. "¬Shinji isn't talking either.¬"

Asuka sat thinking about what had happened earlier. 'Shinji and Wondergirl seem to be getting closer, but she doesn't think that they should start dating? What the Hell is wrong with those two?'

The redhead cast a glance over her fellow pilots and saw that they were thinking about something. 'I bet he's thinking something perverted, just like his friends."


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At NERV headquarters, Ritsuko was performing a comparative DNA test on the First and Third Children.

As she waited for the results, she waved hello to Misato.

The purple haired woman walked up to scientist. "What are you up to, Ritsuko?"

Ritsuko's smile was false, but bright. "I'm just comparing something from the pilots. It should help us see why Shinji's ratio has improved the most."

"Ok," Misato nodded before leaving to get her morning coffee.

The computer bleeped 45 seconds after Misato left the room. When Ritsuko looked at the results she saw what was considered a middle ground scenario. Good would have made the two pilots distant cousins. Bad would have made Rei someone genetically close to Yui. The results showed that Rei was Shinji's sister.

Now all she had to decide was what to do with this information.

The immediate answer was to do nothing, as her phone rang.

"Akagi here," the blonde answered.

"¬It is time for another meeting. I will meet you this evening at the phone booth across the road from the Pegasus Knight Club¬"

"What time?" Ritsuko asked, not really wanting to meet the heartless man.

"¬8.30. Dress provocatively.¬"


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At lunchtime, Kaji had managed to sneak into Ritsuko's office. He wasn't quite sure what the Commander was hoping for him to discover, but still, this sort of thing was his forte.

"Perhaps...," he mused as his eyes flicked to the computer screen. Darting to the pc, he saw that the screensaver hadn't yet been activated.

He started to browse the open document, but found nothing that the Commander probably didn't know already. Before he could browse further for more clues, the door opened and Maya walked in.

"Mr. Kaji, what are you doing at Sempai's computer?"

"I'm just waiting for you," Kaji flashed the young woman a killer smile.

Maya blushed lightly at the flirtation.

"You know that she doesn't work at that desk, Mr. Kaji," a slightly older woman's voice said from the doorway.

"Ritsuko," Kaji smiled, but he knew that the blonde's secret information that Gendo wanted would remain so until later.

"Well, now that we determined that Maya-kun sits elsewhere, I think that your business here is done," Ritsuko said sternly. "Maya will see you out."

After the Doctor's assistant led the suspicious man out, Ritsuko sat in her chair and saw what he was looking at. The faux-blonde shook her head. "Do month old Sync Test results interest you that much, Kaji?"

But Ritsuko was well aware of the dishevelled man's duplicitous nature, having seen him arrive after the sixth Angel attack and go straight to Gendo's office before the others returned. She remembered hearing a drunken Misato rant at length about how cowardly he was.

It was time to put some of her plans into action. First on her agenda, putting her insurance in place should anything happen to her. The blocks and locks on the three components of the MAGI were quickly installed, but set to activate should they receive any reference that she was dead or had been attacked.

Now that Gendo would have much difficulty in bringing about Instrumentality, she turned to the next part of her plan. She dialled Shinji's mobile.

"Shinji? It's me, Ritsuko."

"¬Is something wrong, Ritsuko-san?¬"

"Not that I know of, Shinji-kun. I've got the results of that test. Do you want to know now?" Ritsuko asked, turning around in her chair, missing Misato enter the room.

"¬I-I don't know, Ritsuko-san,¬" Shinji admitted.

Ritsuko ran her left hand through her hair. "Is Rei nearby?"

"¬Yes. I'll get her.¬" There was a moment's silence. "¬Dr. Akagi?¬"

"Rei, I've got the results of the DNA test. Do you want to know what they are now?"

"¬Yes. What relation am I to Shinji-kun?¬"

Ritsuko took a deep breath. "You're his sister."

"WHAT?"

Ritsuko turned to the source of the shout. She frowned before telling Rei that they'd speak later.

"What do you want, Misato?"

"Nothing much," Misato said with a growl, "only an explanation as to what you meant by sister."

"Did you know that Kaji was just here?" Ritsuko tried to change the subject as she lit up a cigarette.

"Who is whose sister?" Misato demanded, slamming her hands on the desk.


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To be continued...

This was yet another short chapter that was pre-read by Chi Vayne.

Some more omake, since people seem to like it.


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Omake 1 (for Innortal and everybody else that likes "Pervert Rei")


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"Shinji-kun," Rei greeted her fellow pilot with a smile.

"Hi Rei," Shinji smiled back.

"I was wondering if you would like to play an indoor game with me as it is raining," Rei enquired. "My research tells me that it is one that is great for family members."

"What's it called," Shinji asked, noticing that Rei had closed the distance between the two of them.

Rei's smile grew as she dragged the quiet boy towards his room.

"Rei?" Shinji started to become a little unnerved.

"What is it Shinji-kun?"

Shinji was now sweating bullets. "What's this game called?"

"Incest."


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Omake 2 (I never liked that fourth wall anyway)


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"I'm just waiting for you," Kaji flashed the young woman a killer smile.

Maya blushed lightly at the flirtation.

"You know that she doesn't work at that desk, Mr. Kaji," an older woman's voice said from the doorway.

"Ritsuko," Kaji smiled, but he knew that the secrets Gendo wanted would remain so until later.

"Well, now that we determined that Maya-kun sits elsewhere, I think that your business here is done," Ritsuko said sternly. "Maya will see you out."

Kaji grumbled, but failed to move from his spot on the blonde's chair.

"OUT!" Ritsuko shouted at the scruffy man.

"Oh, I just sat down," Kaji whined. "Why do you want me out of here?"

"I don't want you to watch me and Sempai make sweaty love on the desk," Maya said as she chambered the first round in her pistol. "You should leave, Mr. Kaji."

"That's not fair!" the long haired man protested. "I want to see the hot lesbian sex!"

"I know," Ritsuko said sympathetically. "But only Shinji and Rei get to see that. You should know that by now, Kaji."

"Sorry, Mr. Kaji, but people don't want to read stories that have you having fantastic sex. Don't blame us, blame the readers," Maya explained as she ushered the long haired man out of the room.


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Omake 3 (Because Asuka's not been in one yet)


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Shinji picked up the ringing phone. "Hello?"

"¬Shinji! It's me, Misato. I need a big, big favour from you.¬"

"What is it?" asked Shinji. "I'm in the middle of cooking dinner."

"¬Me and Asuka have made a bit of a mess in my apartment,¬" Misato reluctantly admitted. "¬Would you be an absolute darling and come over to help us?" she asked in her cutest voice.

"Yes," Shinji sighed in resignation. "I've still got a key, so I'll be there in 20 minutes."


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20 minutes later in Misato's building, Shinji let himself into the purple haired woman's hovel.

"Misato?" the domesticated pilot called out.

"We're in the kitchen, Shinji!" Misato called out.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Shinji mumbled to himself as he made his way to where his hosts were.

Upon entering the cooking area, Shinji was greeted by the sight of Misato and Asuka sitting on the table.

Blinking first, then rubbing his eyes, Shinji checked what he as actually seeing. "Misato-san, are you feeling alright?"

"Not as good as I will be when you start doing as I tell you, Shinji," Misato flashed her former roommate with a seductive smile.

"Baka!" Asuka shouted at the young man. "Can't you see we had a mishap with the chocolate sauce?"

Shinji looked closer. Asuka was right, there had been an accident with the chocolate sauce. Somehow the two ladies had managed to get naked and covered in the sweet coating.

"How did this happen?" Shinji asked, gulping nervously.

"Don't ask, just get us cleaned up," Misato ordered.

As Shinji looked for a wet cloth, a vein bulged in Asuka's forehead. "With your tongue, you idiot!"


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Elsewhere in Tokyo-3, the head of a blue haired pilot shot up from her book.

"Someone is trying to seduce Shinji-kun without me," she complained to the other occupant in the apartment.

"Injustice! To the Passion Wagon!" shouted Ritsuko, dressed in a red PVC cat suit.


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Omake 4 (Because I can)


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"Rei?" Misato asked.

"Yes, Captain Katsuragi?"

"What is that in your hand?" asked the slightly unnerved woman.

"It is the tool with which I shall administer your punishment," Rei said with a disturbing smile.

"What? I haven't done anything!" Misato protested, backing away.

"Oh? Then who was it that tricked Lord Shinji into cleaning up this refuse site?" Rei demanded, waving the flexible black shape back and forth in her right hand.

"L-lord S-shinji?" Misato stammered.

Rei nodded.

"B-b-but..." Misato trailed off as she recognised what it was that Rei held in her hand. She saw a figure in her hallway. "S-shinji?"

"Yes," Shinji smiled lecherously. "You will refer to us as Lord Shinji and Lady Rei before the evening is out."

"W-what are you going to do to me?"

"I will spank your bare behind with this 45 centimetre black rubber phallus," Rei smirked as she advanced on the petrified woman. "I cannot say what Lord Shinji has in mind for you."

"You may scream when it suits you, Misato," Shinji laughed evilly.


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Until laterer comes.