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Sausages, It was a Tuesday


By Lord Raa


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Chapter 10


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Disclaim-me-do: Ah ha! Dangly parts!


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"Rei's your sister?" Misato asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"How is that possible? I mean your mother died ten years ago. Do you mean that Rei is your half-sister?" Misato demanded.

"I'm not sure, but it's what Ritsuko-san told me."

Misato frowned. She didn't want to believe that her old friend was trying to hurt Shinji, but the evidence was mounting against the blonde.

"Are you alright, Misato-san?" Shinji asked, seeing the look on his friend's face.

Misato didn't answer as she continued to analyse the situation.

"Misato-san?" Shinji repeated his question.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine, Shinji," Misato convincingly lied.

The door opened suddenly and Ritsuko entered, looking anxious.

"What's up, Ritsuko-san?" Shinji asked.

"There's been a development at Mt. Asama," Ritsuko explained. "We've confirmed a blue pattern. We'll need all the pilots to scramble."

"But Shinji's not ready to pilot!" Misato protested. "He collapsed earlier."

"I know that, Misato," Ritsuko sighed. "But we need a back up for Asuka."

"Why is Asuka going?" Shinji asked, feeling a little worthless.

"But Unit-02 is set up for the equipment we will be using," Ritsuko explained. "The blue pattern was discovered inside a volcano."

"How is that possible?" Misato demanded. "Surely nothing can survive that."

"We won't know until we examine it, will we, Misato. Now get ready, we've got some work to do."


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45 minutes later, the pilots were attending Misato and Dr. Akagi's briefing.

"The plan is for Asuka to retrieve the embryonic Angel using the electromagnetic cage," Misato explained. "Your Eva will be wearing the insulation suit."

"Why me?" Asuka demanded. "Why do I have to look like an idiot in that suit?"

"Because the equipment was designed for use with Unit-02," Ritsuko informed the whining redhead. "Besides, I'm not comfortable with the idea of sending Shinji into a combat situation just yet."

"Am I to act as backup for Pilot Sohryu?" Rei enquired.

"Yes," Misato nodded. "Shinji will remain here in Tokyo-3."

"We don't expect two Angels attacking at the same time, but it's better to be safe than sorry," Ritsuko added with a comforting smile that was directed at Shinji.

"A wise precaution," Rei nodded slightly. "It will also give Shinji-kun a chance to rest."

Asuka frowned at being treated in such a trivial manner, but shrugged it off knowing that this was a chance to impress Kaji with her superior piloting abilities.


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At Mt. Asama, Misato told those in the control room that what they'd observed since the discovery of the Angel was classified.

The purple hair captain activated the radio. "Asuka, are you ready?"

"¬Yes. Let's get this over with.¬"


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Back in Tokyo-3, Ritsuko was sitting with Shinji at NERV headquarters.

"How are you feeling, Shinji?"

"I'm still thinking about how Rei is my sister," the quiet pilot answered. "Misato asked about it, and I told her what you told me. I hope that's ok."

Ritsuko sighed, ever so slightly. "I didn't want Misato to know just yet. There's too much at stake for her to blindly stumble through this mess."

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, looking the blonde in the eyes.

"Shinji, I take you're familiar with the term 'need to know'?"

"Yes," Shinji nodded. "Does that mean my father's got some really big secrets?"

"That's one way of putting it, Shinji," Ritsuko said dryly. "Knowledge can be very dangerous in the wrong hands."


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At Mt. Asama, Misato was overseeing the aftermath of the failed retrieval attempt.

"The mission was to bring it back alive, but I guess it couldn't be helped, right Asuka?" the purple haired beauty asked her charge.

"How was I to know that the damned thing was going to wake up?" the tired redhead replied.

"I am relieved that the operation is over, I wish to see Shinji-kun," Rei added.

"Why? Is he your boyfriend?" Asuka teased.

"Stop it Asuka," Misato ordered. "We're all tired. Since we're here until morning, let's hit the onsen."


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A little later, the NERV ladies were soaking in the hot mineral water.

"This is the life," Misato sighed. "Hot springs and cold beer. Life is good."

After draining her can, Misato noticed that she was the centre of attention. "What're you looking at?"

"Your scar, Captain Katsuragi," Rei bluntly answered.

"Oh that. I got that during the Second Impact. My little souvenir as the only witness," Misato smiled, but it lacked humour.

"I didn't know that you were there," Asuka said sympathetically.


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Back in Tokyo-3, Shinji was preparing dinner for him and Ritsuko, when Ritsuko entered the kitchen dressed in a manner that was considered more in character for Tactical Operations Officer, rather than the Chief Scientist of Project E.

"Oh, sorry, Shinji, but I won't be back until late," the blonde apologised.

"Are you going anywhere nice?" Shinji asked, trying not to stare at the woman's generous cleavage that her top nearly revealed or shapely, mini-skirt clad thighs.

'Yeah, I've still got it,' Ritsuko smiled at Shinji's response. "I can't say for sure, Shinji, but I do know that I won't return this evening. Don't wait up for me, ok?"

"Ok, Ritsuko-san," Shinji nodded, but he had a feeling that something wasn't right with the situation.

The phone rang and Ritsuko answered it.

"Hello?"

"¬Dr. Akagi, I have to report to SEELE about this afternoon's operation. We will meet tomorrow. Do not wear underwear, or I will be displeased.¬"

"I understand. I will see you tomorrow then," Ritsuko replied to the dial tone.

Frowning for a moment before turning to Shinji, she informed him of the change of plans.

"Ok," Shinji nodded, his feeling of unease subsiding for the moment.

"Well, there's no point in me being dressed like this, no offence, Shinji," Ritsuko smiled before walking to her room.


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Shinji and Ritsuko ate their evening meal in silence, both of them too tired to make small talk.

After cleaning the table, Ritsuko sat down in front of the TV.

"Shinji, would you come here for a minute?"

"Yes, Ritsuko-san?" the obviously fatigued boy asked.

"I was wondering, would you like to talk about you and Rei?"

Shinji's non-verbal response was clear enough to tell Ritsuko that this was the case.

"Good, now sit down and start with what you'd like to know," the scientist smiled.

"Is Rei my younger or older sister?" Shinji asked.

"You know how to make it easy for people, don't you, Shinji?" Ritsuko smirked.

"I'm sorry," Shinji bowed his head.

"Don't worry about it, Shinji," Ritsuko waved off the apology. "Now you've asked a very good question. You know that she's not the first Rei, but I'm not sure when the 'first' Rei came out the tank. I can't exactly find out..."

"Ritsuko-san?" Shinji asked as the blonde trailed off.

"I've got it, Shinji!" Ritsuko snapped her fingers.

"Ritsuko-san?"

"I don't want to expose you to anymore danger than I have to, so I'm going to have to ask you to stay in your room for the next 20 minutes or so."

Shinji looked unsure of this, but nodded.

As soon as the Third Child entered his room, Ritsuko accessed her new link to the MAGI. With the typing speed and accuracy that made it possible to code chunks of the MAGI's OS quickly, the blonde managed to find out when Rei first left the tank as a child.

"So that's who the older sibling is," Ritsuko softly said to herself. She continued her search for more relevant details, like Rei's "birthday". Thinking that this amount of information would do for now, Ritsuko terminated the link and walked to Shinji's room as she lit up a cigarette.

"Shinji-kun, you can come out now," the smoking woman said gently.

Opening the door, Shinji looked at the woman with a hopeful look on his face. "What have you found out?"

"That you're Rei's older brother, Shinji. Her birthday is September the 12th," Ritsuko said happily. "I don't know when they used your mother's DNA and started work on Rei..."

"She's not a project that you start work on!" Shinji insisted. "She's my sister, and I won't let anyone hurt her."

Ritsuko was taken aback by Shinji's change in attitude. "I'm sorry, Shinji. But that's what the records say."

"And who wrote these records?" Shinji asked, calming down to his normal state.

"Your father."


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To be continued...

This chapter was pre-read by Chi Vayne.

Are there any questions?

In response to questions from James Hanson and Vic, I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that the concept of sexual deviancy is comedy gold.

It's not my fault that the characters from Eva are set up for such mocking.




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Omake 1


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A little later, the NERV ladies were soaking in the hot mineral water.

"This is the life," Misato sighed. "Hot springs and cold beer. Life is good."

After draining her can, Misato noticed that she was the centre of attention. "What're you looking at?"

"Your breasts, Captain Katsuragi," Rei bluntly answered. "They are very nice."

"T-thank you Rei," Misato blushed.

"May I touch them?"

Misato was beginning to get a little freaked out by Rei's behaviour. "Why?"

"I wish to know what such glorious breasts taste like," was Rei's honest reply.

"What are you, some kind of freak?" Asuka screamed.

"Do not worry, Pilot Sohryu, I shall be sampling your goods later," Rei grinned lecherously.


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Omake 2


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The representative of Class 2-A was speaking to Rei Ayanami with regards to the pilot's conduct.

"Rei, there have been some complaints about perverts in school," the pigtailed girl subtly started.

"I was not aware that I had competition, Representative Horaki. Who is 'muscling in on my turf', if you will pardon the colloquialism."

"T-there isn't another one, it's just that people have complained about your naughty behaviour," Hikari blushed. "It's just not proper."

"That is not what your sister said last night," Rei replied, unfazed by the dressing down that Hikari was trying to give her.

"WHAT?"

"Your older sister. She enjoys my company," Rei answered with a smile. "I take it that you were unaware that she has no preference for either gender?"

"That's not true!" Hikari insisted.

"If you require proof, then you may use my telephone," Rei said as she handed the device to the distraught girl.

Dialling her sister, Hikari hoped that this was nothing more than a misunderstanding.

"Kodama?"

"¬Yes? Is that you Rei?¬"

"No, it me, Hikari."

"¬Oh. Is Rei there? She said that she was going to call me when she'd found out if Shinji was joining us this evening.¬"

"Tell Kodama that I will be brining Shinji-kun with me," Rei said to Hikari.

"¬That's great! What did you want, Hikari-chan?¬"

"I was going to ask if what Rei said was true - that you and her were, you know," Hikari blushed.

"¬Don't knock it until you've tried it, Hikari-chan. Rei's good at what she does.¬"

"And what's that?" the class rep asked.

"¬Making people feel good. I'm getting excited just thinking about what we'll be doing tonight. Hey wanna join us?¬"

Hikari was stunned into silence.

"I take it that you were just invited, Horaki-san? I will be happy to oblige and fulfil any familial requests that you and your sister have. I will be arriving at your house with Shinji at 7.30."

"¬Fantastic!¬"

"K-kodama?"


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Omake 3


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Shinji sat in the NERV cafeteria eating his lunch when Maya walked up to him with a light blush.

"Shinji-kun," the quiet woman started.

"Yes Maya-san?"

"I was wondering about your relationship with Dr. Akagi," Maya said as she sat down.

"Ritsuko-san?" Shinji asked. "I guess that we're close friends. Why?"

Leaning in, Maya said, "I know about what you do with Sempai and the others."

"What do you mean?"

"Lord Shinji and Lady Rei," Maya said in a tone that told Shinji to stop playing around.

"What about my harem?"

"I want to be closer to Sempai," Maya said, her blush returning with a vengeance.

"And what do you want me to do about it? Do you want to join me and the others tonight? I think I can fit you in," Shinji smiled warmly.

"No, I want to," Maya started to stammer, "to..."

"You want to be dominated by Ritsuko-chan?"

"N-n-no," Maya shook her head.

"You want to dominate Ritsuko? I think that I can make that happen. Do you want to double team her? I think that she'd like to be spit-roasted, you don't mind wearing a strap-on, do you?"

"Not at all," Maya smiled, but she still had a serious blush on her face.

"You're blushing, Maya," Shinji noted. "Evidently, you still have much to learn, my young padawan."


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Omake 4


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Shinji lay face up on the bed, covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Another unfamiliar ceiling," the introspective young mused.

"Stop with the depressing commentary and make with the cuddling," a female voice ordered. "I paid Rei good money for full service."

"Yes, Tendo-san," Shinji sighed as he embraced the brunette.

"I told you, call me Kasumi, Shinji-kun."

"Yes, Kasumi-san."

'He is cute, but he just doesn't have the technique or stamina of Ranma-kun,' thought Kasumi. "I'll think I'll recommend you to Nabiki, she always complains that Ranma never wants to cuddle."

"Do you know Ranma-sempai?" Shinji asked, enjoying the sensation of bodily contact with Kasumi.

"You could say that, Shinji-kun. But I think you should avoid my youngest sister, Akane, she likes to hit perverts. And being a man-whore is something she considers perverted."

"Great, another Asuka," Shinji said sadly.


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Until laterer comes.