Categories > Anime/Manga > Dragon Ball Z > Aces Wild

Piccolo, you skank!

by Kenny 0 reviews

Piccolo's parents are having trouble, but what can our favorite stripper do to help?

Category: Dragon Ball Z - Rating: R - Genres: Erotica, Humor - Characters: Piccolo, Vegeta - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2006-10-05 - Updated: 2006-10-05 - 2117 words

0Unrated
Piccolo sat in his car, thinking about how to approach the situation. What did he even say when he came in? Last time this had happened, he had thankfully been out of town, and hadn't had to deal with the whole situation. He wasn't sure his presence was a good thing now, either.

He slowly exhaled between clenched teeth and opened the door, stepping out into the tense air. Even though he was outside, he could practically feel the waves of hatred from inside his parents' house. He made the familiar way up the driveway, thinking about how many times he and Vegeta had played on it when they were younger... drawing with chalk, racing little cars, and later setting the girl-next-door's Barbie on fire. Good times.

The green man took a breath and opened the door, immediately being hit with the sound of complete and total-

Silence.

'Great, it's worse than I thought,' Piccolo thought to himself as he made his way from room to room, checking the various places his parents usually resided when they were bickering. He came to the kitchen eventually, and groaned when he caught the vision of his parents in their natural environment.

Utter hatred-filled glares were thrown across the table as the two adults sat, each drinking their own beverage. Piccolo's mother blew quietly on her tea while mouthing 'I hate you' to Piccolo Sn., who absent-mindedly stirred his coffee whilst baring his teeth.

"Uh... hi," Piccolo said awkwardly, shattering the silence like a sheet of glass. Strangely enough, though, it repaired itself almost instantly, and now hung like a wet blanket over the three people. The ticking of the kitchen clock sounded like a gong being hit in equal intervals. Piccolo looked around the kitchen, which had changed throughout the years. After being a strong red, it was calmed by a light blue, and was now a deep green color was the dominate hue of the décor. The missing family pictures were easily spotted, as was anything remotely sentimental to his parents. The young man knew that this wasn't just another spat, and expected the worst. After a few seconds, Piccolo's mother stopped cooling her tea and put her cup down with a soft 'plink'.

"Piccolo, would you like something to eat honey? I made a cake a couple of days ago, but someone didn't want to try it, so it's untouched..." She took a dainty sip out of her cup and tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear. Her eyes flicked to the other side of the table briefly before they focused on her son again.

Piccolo glanced nervously at his father and nodded slowly. "Sure Mom... Um, what flavour is it?"

"It's chocolate cake," whispered Piccolo's father, abruptly ceasing his stirring. "Which means I basically DIE if I eat it. But by all means, go right ahead! It doesn't matter if I have an allergic reaction the size of Jupiter, does it? Nooo, of course not."

Piccolo received his piece of cake silently and sat down in the middle of the table, a move which probably wasn't completely safe. Seconds once again ticked by as Piccolo glanced from his father to his mother, both of which seemed content to merely sit and glare daggers at each other.

"Piccolo, son, you haven't even tried it yet," Piccolo's mother said softly, eyes never leaving Piccolo Sn.

"Uh-"

"Son, you don't have to eat the cake the moment you sit down. You can just sit and talk for a little while."

Seconds tick by as Piccolo's mother muttered something about 'knowing how to communicate'.

"At least I don't forget when a certain food can be medically dangerous for my spouse, May! No, I take it back. You probably MEANT to make it chocolate." Piccolo Sn. growled softly, making May smirk.

"If I wanted to kill you I'd use my hands, dear."

"It's good cake, mom." Piccolo said quietly, getting a smile from his mother, and a sharp glare from his father.

"Thank you, honey. It's very nice to be complimented, and to just talk for a bit with someone you love, isn't it?" She asked sweetly, making Piccolo's eyes dart quickly to his father before nodding his head slowly.

"Yeah, sure Mom..."

"It's just as nice not to have to worry about keeling over at afternoon coffee," Piccolo Sn. said in the same tone of voice, making Piccolo nervous.

"Quick question... Is this whole thing with you two... Well, is it about cake?"

"It has nothing to do with the fucking cake!" Piccolo's father said in aggravation, covering his eyes with one hand. "For Christ's sake, son, open your eyes!"

"I was just proving a point, Piccolo! It doesn't feel great to have important things forgotten, does it?" May seethed, pushing her cup of tea away quickly. "Let me refresh your memory. One week ago marked the 50th anniversary of my parents' wedding. We had been planning the party for weeks, and what do you do? You FORGET the date of the dinner, and go home, wondering where on Earth I am. And why? Because you had a stupid meeting!"

"Those 'stupid meetings' are what have paid for all the comforts you enjoy today. This last one was particularly large, and involved me making the closing-"

"SO WHAT!" May yelled in frustration, pulling down on a lock of hair. "It's called family dedication, Piccolo! You don't have it!"

"The cake is really good, Mom."

"..."

"..."

Piccolo looked from parent to parent and sighed. "Who's moving out this time?"

-

"It's like they're two years old or something. They have been constantly splitting since I was twelve, and they just end up coming back together after a little cool-down time. This time, though, my mom insists that it's really over, and that she's going to move in with her sister until the divorce comes through, when she'll probably get the house. She says she can't stand to even look at my father, he makes her so pissed."

"It's not your fault, Piccolo. There is absolutely nothing you can do to alter the situation, and you shouldn't ponder over your parent's testy relationship. It'll just make you sad, which makes me sad." Julia rubbed Piccolo's shoulders as the young man laid there on the couch, stomach-down. The older woman was sitting on the small of his back, working her fingers over the tense parts of the stripper's upper torso.

"Yeah, I know, it's just that sometimes I feel like I should have been able to say something... DO something, you know? No, you couldn't, probably." Piccolo said quietly, closing his eyes and letting the thin but strong fingers of Julia relax his stressed-out muscles. However, the rubbing motion stopped shortly after the comment, and Piccolo found himself turned around to be facing the woman.

She looked serious, and her mouth was set in a determined line. "Piccolo... You don't know half of the things I have seen. Please don't make assumptions about a person who you think you know. It never is a wise decision." She laid her form on top of Piccolo's and let her face rest in the folds of Piccolo's shirt.

Piccolo blinked and rubbed the woman's back gently. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it," Julia said from Piccolo's shirt, and the two remained in that position for several minutes- Piccolo silently rubbing the older woman's back, while she mindlessly fiddled with the collar of his shirt. Quite some time passed, and Piccolo watched as the shadows on the walls grew longer as the sun sank slowly into the horizon. They seemed to take odd forms, and one even resembled a woman. With a pang of guilt he thought of Sofia, and wondered if there was even anything he should he guilty about.

He chewed on the thought before breaking the silence with an odd question.

"Will you ever love me?"

Julia looked up, very surprised, and stared at Piccolo's thoughtful gaze. She could tell he wasn't trying to be funny, and turned the piece of information over in his head. After a while she began to speak, very quietly. Piccolo attentively watched her eyes as she spoke.

"Piccolo, you're too young to know what love is. I thought I knew when I was your age, and it was harsh when I realized how little I was actually aware of. Sex is all well and good, but it's no stone's throw away from being in love. True love is something special that takes years to develop and won't ever disappoint you... I know this only now, after I dealt in years of being-as silly as this may sound- UN-in love." Julia lay her head on Piccolo's shoulder and sighed. "Can you understand what I mean?"

"You won't really love me. Is that it?" Piccolo asked, not unkindly. Julia kissed him gently on the cheeks and shushed him gently.

"You have your whole life ahead of you to find your perfect match."

-

Although no definite word was said, Piccolo knew that he wouldn't visit Julia in the same way again. He felt a little empty, like being used for some other, cheap purpose. He supposed it was his own fault, and tried to shrug off the feeling of gloom hanging around him.

"Hello, earth to Greenbean!" Vegeta snapped, waving a hand in front of Piccolo's face.

Piccolo blinked and moved his friend's hand away. "What?"

"I said quit spacing and pass me the remote. If you hadn't noticed, Friends came on, and I would personally rather gouge my eyes out then watch it. So, the power stick, please."

Piccolo sighed and tossed the remote lightly to Vegeta. "Sorry."

Vegeta looked like he was about to say something, but stopped, mouth wide open. "What did you say?"

Piccolo glanced over at him and shrugged. Vegeta blinked and cleaned his ear with his little pinky and looked at the TV again. "Whatever, man. Look, why have you been acting all mopey anyway? Bad sex?" He chuckled at his own joke, and looked at his watch. "Speaking of which, we have approximately two hours before we gotta be at AW. Wanna eat something before we head out?"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry. You...you go on ahead." Vegeta blinked in confusion and opened his mouth to object, when Piccolo got up and stretched, looking long-faced.

"You know what? I think I'm gonna walk there. I just need a little air, ok, and I want to be awake for tonight... I'll see you there, ok? Lock up when you're done here."

Piccolo sauntered to the elevator of his building, and glumly pushed the button. He wasn't sure why he was even sad, but for some reason he just couldn't shake he feeling of loss.

'It's not like you're at a shortage of women... tonight, you'll get on stage, and everything will be just like before.'

-

"Hello ladies, my name is Piccolo, and I'd love for one of you to erect-ahem, I mean elect ME for YOUR personal president."

Piccolo grinned as Vegeta snorted behind him, who was also beginning to take off his tie, slowly, teasingly. Piccolo, not to be outdone, whipped it off and wrapped both hands on either end of the tie, rubbing it between his legs, making several women scream.

"You're such a slut." Vegeta whispered harshly, though Piccolo detected a smile in his voice.

"Yeah, bet your mom knows it, too." He said, just kidding at first, then thought over his choice of words. Vegeta frowned at the comment, or rather the confusing reaction from Piccolo afterwards.

"Just concentrate on the show, skank."

"Will do, whore." Piccolo had already taken off his blazer and was working the hard-to-open buttons when Vegeta's pants came flying to his feet. Piccolo looked over in surprise, wondering how Vegeta was done so quickly. He saw that the shirt was still on, though the undergarments obviously weren't.

'Huh, new approach,' he thought as he ripped off the confinding cloth that was his shirt and twirled it around his head before tossing it to the side, allowing the sweaty muscles to receive air. He let out a renewed sigh of contentment and grinned over at Vegeta, who was doing something strange with a briefcase. Piccolo blinked suddenly as he felt something hit his chest and fall to the floor. He grinned when he realized it was a pair of silk panties, and searched the audience for the guilty woman. He knew the moment he saw the woman with long, dark hair and sunglasses that he had found the alledged randy fiend.

His lips curved into a large smirk as his mouth formed the word 'Sofia' .
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