FicWad

The next morning we left quickly and continued driving away from my home. Around noon we pulled into a run down diner and got something to eat. For some reason I felt sick to my stomach. When we were in the car I turned away from Patrick driving and looked out the window. He glanced over at me a few times until he built up the urge to say something.
"Do you feel okay?" His voice sounded concerned, yet caring.
"I want to go home." I said flatly not looking at him.
"Awww, but we just started the adventure!" Pete wined somewhere behind me.
"Are you homesick or something?" Patrick asked as I looked in the mirror.
"Does this look homesick to you?!" I spat pointing at my face that was a pale green color.
"Wow, you look anemic." Pete laughed looking at me through the mirror.
"Ha, yeah...look." I murmured under my breath.
"Do you want us to stop at a hospital?" Patrick asked gripping the steering wheel nervously.
Something struck me inside and the daring part of me kicked in. We were coming up an exit and he was going to turn into it. I grabbed the wheel and turned it sharply so we were still on the interstate. Cars swerved to get out of the way and honked their horns once they got control. I laughed and let go of the wheel. After everything went back to normal we all stayed quiet.
"Good god what was that for?" Pete asked after a while.
"Nothing, Patrick I'm fine keep driving."
Pete rolled his eyes and continued looking at the music magazine he had been looking at. I smiled and tuned up the radio while Patrick still glanced over at me ever once in a while. I really didn't want them to worry. There wasn't anything wrong with me, at least not physically. The rest of the car ride went smoothly; I didn't want to go home, just being with these guys, well any guy, made me nervous. I trusted them, but being in that motel made me think.
How could I truly trust two guys I met only days ago? Was it the way they treated me? Was it the way I felt around them? I never really understood why I trusted anybody.
My stomach growled and rumbled. I ignored it and looked forward. We had been driving for hours but it looked like it was still very early. The sky grew dimmer and dimmer until I was almost too dark to see. We pulled off the highway and checked into a hotel; a non-sex hotel.
Again Patrick and I shared a bed and Pete got his own. But he got up and said he had a craving for burger and that he was going to find a good burger joint. That left me and Patrick, in a room, alone. I glanced nervously at him; I could tell he was just a nervous as me. I bit my lip and looked at the room. Not bad, but not good either. He cleared his throat and pulled off his denim jacket.
"Have you ever been with a girl before?" I blurted out loudly.
He jumped and looked down and blushed; apparently not.
"Um, not actually, no." He bit his lip and looked back into my eyes. "What about you?"
I smiled and looked away. "Well, yes, one."
"Oh, who?"
"His name was Michael." I got up and went to the tiny fridge. "But he wanted more than I could give him."
"Did he ever do anything you didn't want him to do?"
Don't tell him, Alex. Don't tell him.
"Yes, he...he um...,"I didn't finish it; it brought back too many terrible memories.
"He raped you?" Patrick got up and put his hand gently on my shoulders.
I nodded feeling the tears rush to my eye. Before I knew it he was holding me, rocking back and forth, kissing the tears off of my cheeks. I buried my head into his chest while we stood in the middle of the hotel room. I heard the door open and knew it was Pete. He must have known he shouldn't be there and closed the door quietly behind him.
"Why would someone do something to someone as perfect as you?" Patrick cooed stroking my head.
My shoulders were shaking from crying so hard. After a while my sobs subsided and we still stood there in the dim light. It felt like the right moment, but then again it didn't. I looked up and kissed him lightly. He kissed back and then looked away.
"I'm glad you make me feel this way." I smiled looking into his eyes.
"I'm glad I know you." His voice was hushed; almost so quiet I could barely hear him.
He kissed me again and let me go. I felt oddly warm and pulled off my hoodie and t-shirt; leaving a tank-top. He followed me lead and took off his shirt; leaving a wife beater. I lay down on the bed and pull the blankets over me; it was stifling hot but I want to feel the warm cotton brushing against my skin. He lay down beside me and sighed; trying to find a comfortable spot. I yawned, the heat always made me tired. He hummed a little and stroked the side of my face. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting between sleep and reality. Soon, I was completely asleep.
Someone shook me awake and spoke to me in a soothing voice.
"Wake up." It was Patrick's voice, I could tell.
I groaned and pulled the blanket tighter around me. He pulled at the blanket and ripped it off of me. I shivered and opened my eyes. He gave me his signature dorky smile and kissed my cheek. Then he gave me concerned eyes and felt my cheek.
"Are you sure you feel ok?"
I shook my head and fell backward onto the bed again, then rolled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth.
"I want to go home."
He nodded and got the suitcases ready to go. I glanced around at Pete; his completion was slightly green too. I bit my lip and just pulled the blankets tighter around me even more. He left the room for a few minute but returned and hoisted me up in his arms. He carried me to the van and settled me into the passenger side.
"I'll be right back a promise." He nodded and kissed my cheek once again. I sighed and clutched my stomach. I hated being sick, and being on a car trip never helped.
He did come back this time with Pete and the suitcases. Pete crawled in the back and rolled over on his side while Patrick got in and started the van. He glanced at me and Pete and gripped the steering wheel. He had a big derision to make. Try to make it home with both of us or take us to the hospital. We turned onto the interstate and sped up; maybe we could make it home. I felt a jolt of pain shoot though me but I didn't let that show as I looked over at him and smiled. He calmed down a little then glanced back at Pete who was now asleep in the back. Sleep would feel good right about now. I rested my head back in the seat and closed my eyes. I feel asleep after being awake for only a few minutes.
I woke up hours later and looked around. He had slowed down and was in familiar territory. He smiled when he noticed I was awake.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better." I lied.
"Are you sure." His brow furrowed and pulled to a stop in front of the apartment.
"It's good to be home." I sighed changing the subject.
I jumped out and grabbed my suitcase from the back. Then ran to my apartment and dropped my things on the floor. I gazed in shock at my apartment. The paint was peeling and the furniture was ripped apart or knocked over. I fell to the floor and stared around dumb-struck. How could three people do this in three days? Andy came in behind me and stepped back. I turned to him and grabbed his shirt collar.
"What happened?" I spat.
"I-I do-don't knooooow." He said as I shook him roughly. "S-sstop ssh-akk-ing m-meee."
"Not until you tell me how this happened." I tightened my grip.
"I-we had a party." He wheezed form me squeezing his throat.
"You...had...party?" I let him go and let my hands drop to my sides. I was proverbially fucked. One thing my landlord told me was no wild parties ever.
"We thought it would be a good idea at the time." Joe said somewhere behind me.
"I'm so screwed." I sighed crumpling to the floor holding my head.
"The landlord came by." Andy said quietly.
I looked up at him and prepared for the worst.
"He said to get your things and leave."
No, this can't be happening to me. Where was I gonna go? Home? No, I didn't have a home anymore. Mom? No, never.
I didn't have to think. I just stood up and went back to my room; thank god I locked that part of my room. I looked around and I sighed. I reached for my other suitcase and starting to fill it with my clothes. Once I did that I got one of the boxes I kept since I moved in. I started filling it with books and papers. I could hear someone watching me but didn't bother looking at who it was.
Tears formed in my eyes as I grabbed random objects and shoved them in a box. Soon, I was completely bawling in the floor. Patrick came and hugged me.
"Shh, let me help you." He cooed.
I pushed him away and wiped my eyes.
"Don't you think you've done enough?"
He looked down and sighed. I was right, if I had never net them no of this would be happening. He helped anyway packing away things and carrying them to the living room. Once my room was completely empty I took care of the bathroom. I went to the mural of pictures and ripped it down carefully. I went into the living room and salvaged a table and some more posters and concert items.
It only took an hour to take everything away but it felt like so much longer. I loaded everything into my car and locked it. I returned my key to the landlord and walked back to the parking lot. They all stood awkwardly beside the van and looked at their feet. I hid my anger and forced a smile. I hugged Patrick and gave the others reassuring nods.
"I'll never forget you." I whispered in his ear as we hugged.
"Here's my number." He whispered back slipping a piece of paper into my back pocket.
"Good luck." I smiled for real holding onto his hand as we stood in silence. He studied my face almost like he was memorizing it.
"You too." He pulled a ring out of his pocket. "I was gonna give you this but time got cut short."
It was just a little metal ring, engraved with hearts and stars. It was perfect.
"Thanks." I kissed his cheek and looked back at the others standing there all looking ashamed.
"Bye guys, I'll miss you terribly." I waved to them as they got in the van.
"Bye, Alex." Pete called back.
"Thanks for everything." Andy called out.
"Come to Chicago sometime." Joe yelled out the passenger window.
As they drove away I sighed. I didn't feel sad anymore and I just lost my only home. I knew I was never going to see them again. They were going to get famous someday and forget all about me.
"Goodbye, forever." I got in my car and drove to the only place I knew I could call home. I knew one person that had been there fro me through everything, Sabrina.