Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Between your smiles & Regrets

It's mind over you (don't, don't) matter.

by burnbaby_xburn 2 reviews

Do you love me?

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!] [!!] [X] - Published: 2006-10-08 - Updated: 2006-10-08 - 1425 words


The morning seemed to progess slowly. It was, as I had expected to be, completely awkward. Neither Pete nor I knew exactly what to say to each other so for the most part I had spent the morning in the bedroom curled up in heavy blankets and swimming in a sea of pillows. It was heaven - so unbelieveably comfortable that it even gave a cloud a run for it's money. I had eventually gotten up for a shower but then was met in the hallway by Pete. He looked me up and down and I saw that patented twinkle in his eye. It was faint, but there. I shook my head and walked passed him back into the bedroom where I continued to mope around in my bed watching the old re-runs of Doctor Phil on television.

The door to the bedroom creaked open and Pete walked inside. I blinked when I saw him walk inside but at the same time I tried to keep focused on the television. I didn't want him to think that even for one second I was caving at all. Pete walked into the big open closet and started rummaging through things. He was throwing the majority of his clothes that we left there into a big suitcase. I couldn't lie, it hurt me to think that he was leaving but I wasn't going to stop him. He was as stubborn as they come, if not worse. No amount of begging or sobbing would stop him from leaving, at least right now. I know that maybe if I had begged him to stay he'd come back a week later and apoligize and it would be okay for a couple of days but other than that, it was like a broken record stuck on play.

Pete started to rumage through my side of the closet and I started to furrow my eyebrows. He was going through my stuff like it was crap when indeed it was very expensive clothing that quite frankly I didn't feel like having ruined at all. I sighed and coughed getting his attention. I had a look on my face that would probably kill him if it was at all possible. He walked out of the closet with his hand outstretched towards me. I sighed, at this point I knew exactly what he was after. I was wearing one of his favourite sweaters and he wanted it back. I unzipped it and threw it at him and he caught it throwing it into his suitcase. Doctor Phil's words started to echo through the room because there was no words being said between either of us. 'Love is all about one another, it's give and take, its complete and total devotion..'. I looked at Pete who in turned looked at me the very second those words were uttered. I started to get tears brimming my eyes but I forced myself to swallow them. He was not about to win this battle. Pete gave me one last look and walked out of the bedroom door. I knew he was leaving and that I probably wouldn't see him again for a very long time but I figured that if he couldn't even apologize for what he had done it showed that he didn't care all that much anyways.

It was killing me inside and my heart was hurting, in ways that Pete could only make me hurt. I heard the door to the appartment close shut and sighed, it was times like this I wish I had kept some of my good girlfriends who I used to know around. I sighed and my cat came into the bedroom and jumped on the bed lazily. I looked at the cat who was purring around my around and decided that it was time to feed him anyways. I threw off all the blankets ontop of me and walked towards the bedroom down. The hallway was lined with pictures from times that Pete and I had together. I sighed and kept walking towards the kitchen. My mouth dropped when I saw a huge bouquet of roses in a crystal clear glass vase on the kitchen table. There was a letter strategically placed beside it. This is his final plea, I asked myself. A bouquet of roses and a note. I grabbed the envelope and opened it up, inside there was the words that would be so much better coming from his mouth than a piece of a paper.

'Im sorry, loose lips sink ships.

I grabbed the letter and crumpled it up in my hand, throwing it in the garbage as well as the bouquet of roses. I didn't want this anymore. I didn't want to have to sit on the edge waiting for my heart to get broken by him one more time. Even after the promises and the materialistic things it didn't matter, I didn't want it. Part of me felt liberated but at the same time the other part of me felt like it was dying. I didn't know what felt better, but I remember a good friend of mine once telling me that I had to burn to the ground in order to rise from my own ashes.

I poured my cat some food, filling up his dish I set it back down on the floor. He was grateful and I pet him on his back before I went and flopped down on the leather couches in the living room. I flipped on the big screen television and put it on Much. I smiled when I saw the familiar faces of Pat and Andy on Much Music. I missed Pat so much but it was a hazy future if I would ever be able to see him again without causing needless drama in everyones lives.

The day had gone by rather uneventful and I was rather quite content sitting around in the living room just watching television and being alone. There was a knock on the appartment door around 2 in the afternoon and I sighed. I didn't want to get up to get it but the knocking persisted. I was getting rather quite frustrated with the person who was causing all the knocking. I grumbled to myself as I got up and went to the door, unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door, my heart got caught in my throat. Zacky was standing in my doorway with a grin plastered on his face. I must have looked like an idiot because my mouth was agape and I couldn't even say anything. I finally got myself together and stepped back into the hallway and Zacky stepped in. I smiled finally when he slid off his jacket and came closer to me to give me a hug. I started to get goosebumps when I wrapped my arms around his waste and he wrapped his arms around my around my shoulders. His hugs were so comforting. I inhaled as my face was pressed up against his chest, his smell was a mix of cigarettes and cologne which made him all that more appealing. He kissed the top of my head and pulled back just a little bit and looked me in the eyes. I smiled up to him when his hand grazed the side of my cheek. His facial expression changed from a happy one to a more serious tone. My smile must have dropped also but the next thing I knew was that his lips were connecting with mine in a battle that neither of us were winning. I started to get lost in the kiss and reached my arms around Zack's neck. I felt his cold hands place themselves on my hips and start to slide them up my stomach. The coldness made me gasp in for air and I pulled away from the kiss and looked him in his eyes breathlessly. Neither of us knew exactly what to say but just knowing that the feeling of the kiss was so right made the situation a lot less sticky than it could have been. I moved away from Zacky a little bit and ran a hand through my long hair and went and crossed my arm over my chest. My heart was pounding and I knew I wanted the kiss to progess to something more but at the moment I couldn't help but think of Pete and what he was doing at this very second.

i know i haven't updated since like forever, but forgive me & review!
xo katie
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