FicWad

~Benji's POV~
I sat in my bunk staring at the papers in my hand. I was making the right choice, I knew I was. I just wished it didn't have to hurt so badly. But it had to be done; I couldn't live with myself if I knew I had been that selfish. It didn't complete me anymore and it was holding me back from what I truly wanted in my heart. I couldn't do that anymore, not when it put my true happiness on the line.
"Dude!" Joel ripped the curtains to my bunk open and I quickly stuffed the papers under my pillow. He didn't know and I felt like a jerk for betraying my own brother as it was. He would know soon enough. "We gotta get to the hospital, right now. Sophie's there."
"What?" I asked sharply, my head snapping up to look at him. He nodded roughly and swallowed. I leaped out of the bed on impulse and stuffed my feet into my shoes. "Let's go." I mumbled grabbing a hoodie.
I wasn't thinking straight. The whole cab ride to the hospital I had left only a little over 24 hours earlier, I was panicking. I had no idea what would happen, but all I knew was that I couldn't breathe and I'd never been more scared in my life. Joel said Tony said something about an accident, and all I could do was wait impatiently to arrive at the hospital. I hoped to God she was ok, I honestly didn't know what I would do with myself if something happened to her or the baby.
I hopped out of the taxi before the car had even come to a full stop; not caring that I almost broke my neck from the jump, because making sure Sophie was ok was my only care and priority at the moment. I raced into the big white building, not even giving Joel a chance to catch up with me. Getting Sophie's room number, I continued my run up to her room. I pushed the door open and went in.
"Benj!" Tony said standing up from his seat next to Sophie's bed where she lay awake. Her unusually pale face a great contrast to her dark hair that lay across the whit pillow her head rest on. She looked horrible. Her eyes held both deep physical and emotional pain and she was literally shaking. Ignoring my best friend, I rushed to my wife's side.
"Oh my God, Sophie are you ok?" I gasped taking her face into my hands. "What happened? Are you hurt? Oh my God, what about the baby? Sophie, tell me what happened!"
"I lost the baby." She said hoarsely, looking away from my eyes that were searching her fear stricken face.
"What? No!" I breathed. She nodded and wiped her puffy red eyes. Joel came in looking questioningly at Tony. "But... How? What happened?" I was lost. This couldn't be true. It was too much for me.
"Some guy shoved into me on the plane, jolted the baby."
"Who?" My eyes searched hers.
The door opened, and a big man I've never seen before came in.
"Him." She whispered.
"You!" I started, heading for the bastard that killed my unborn child. But Tony and Joel grabbed me before I could even get to him. "You bitch!" I screamed, pulling on my human restraints, but the two held me tightly. "How could you fucking do this to me, you sick bastard! That was my fucking child! And look at what you did to my wife! I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
"I'm sorry this is my fault." He said angrily. "But I fucking saved your wife's life, so fucking calm down!"
"What do you mean?" I spat.
"I mean it was a fatal pregnancy. The child had a tumor caused by the mother's stress that would have killed them both a few more months into the pregnancy!"
I yelled out in frustration, and collapsed onto the floor, shaking with hysterical sobs. I couldn't take it; it was way too much for me to handle anymore. To think that I could have lost her forever, that she could have died. But now my child was gone, and Sophie probably hated me so much. I wanted to die right then; I didn't have it in me to go on like this anymore. I was so emotionally distraught from everything that had elapsed, it was killing me inside.
"Benji, calm down." Joel said softly, helping me back up.
"I can't." I stuttered, hiccupping and wiping my face. "I can't anymore. I'm sorry man," I told the stranger. "Thank you. Sophie I'm sorry for fucking you up, I love you. See you later, guys." I shrugged Joel and Tony off of me, walking past them all and out of the room.
"Where's he going?" I heard Tony ask as the door swung shut with a soft swish. A question I myself didn't even know the answer to. I just kept walking, out of the hospital, into the streets. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing anymore. I had completely lost track of my life, I had no control of it anymore, it was in somebody else's hands and I just got to sit back and watch it all fall apart. Fun.
It sucked, and it hurt so bad. If I had just one wish, just one, it would be to be able to make everything right. I was sick of struggling to win a fight I was losing so horribly, and was going to lose no matter what. I was tired of fighting; I didn't have the strength to be a hero anymore, I just wanted to be happy. I couldn't save myself this time; I needed someone else to do it for me. Twenty six years of defending everyone and everything I loved, and when it came down to the most important fight of my life, I had lost all my powers of persuasion.
I just wanted to give up already, to admit defeat, to let everything just unfold before me and not care. But I couldn't, cuz I did care. My happiness was my selfish guilty pleasure, it was too important to me. God have mercy on my sick, perverted soul...


*reviews would be cool...