FicWad

/Hey! just a little authors note to this... There is probably a small bit of OOC factors, It isn't too much, but because of the content subject matter, Please don't just think I'm being cliche. It's a serious thing. Hope you enjoy this story. When I started writing this, it was supposed to be a dark fic... but my mind and fingers all seem to have a mind of their own, lol so ..../Chapter Two

Inuyasha was getting frantic as the stench of suffering, of ending, became stronger. The source was obvious; Kagome's bedroom. Attempting to find another window, Inuyasha found himself staring into her mother's room. To his own dismay, that window was also locked. Finally giving into his fears, Inuyasha shattered the window keeping him from entering her home.

"Kagome..." He whispered softly, in a worried broken stance. Carefully scanning the narrow hallway as he ran from her mother's room to Kagome's door, he searched for any signs of distress. Finding none, he jiggled the handle of the wooden frame blocking him from the strongest stench of blood. It was locked.

"KAGOME...!" Pounding on the door, he realized that her consciousness was probably gone, so he did the only thing he could think of; He broke the door down. As the broken frame toppled lopsidedly on an angle, Inuyasha stumbled quickly to her limp body. The life fell from her fast; the hanyou cradled her desperately in his arms, wrapping her wrists with the fire-rat he had now stripped from his body. "Kami-Sama, what the hell did you do, Kagome..." He wished she would open her eyes... yell at him or even sit him. She had no anger radiating from her, only a sadness that made his stomach clench. Please... please, just don't leave me ... he thought as he pulled the fire-rat from her bloodstained wrist. The blood flow was too much, there was only one thing he could think of to stop the bleeding... but if it didn't work, then that meant that Kagome will die /his thoughts finished for him, making a snap decision; Inuyasha brought her wrist to his lips. Carefully gliding his tongue across the red and broken skin, he closed his eyes to take in the irony taste of her life force as it continued to pour from her severed vein. After a moment, she had begun to feel cold in his arms. Her heart beat slowed, as her breathing became less; causing fear to run through Inuyasha's whole body. /I cannot lose her now, not again.... Clawing at his wrist, Inuyasha watched his blood seep from the score and pressed it to her still open wound. Feeling the current of her slowed pulse flow against his own, his heart almost stopped. /Please let this work, /was his desperate plea unto himself... or perhaps the Kami's if they dared to listen to his heart. As some of his blood mingled with hers, he felt her pulse becoming stronger... the warmth had begun to creep back into her body. Slowly, she was healing.

Lifting Kagome into his arms, Inuyasha placed her sleeping frame upon the bed and covered her with the pink ruffled blanket. Kneeling beside her, he quietly watched her as she slept; an onset of worry and troublesome ideas invading his already jumbled mind. Hours passed, still there was nothing. The woman that lie on the bed had not stirred; the only thing that calmed the hanyou's fearful thoughts was the receding aura of death that loomed around in the air around her only hours earlier.

He let his hand slide onto the mattress; gripping hers. Silently, he cried for her... the tears running without shame down his reddened face as he squeezed at her hand and prayed. This woman, meant everything to him, Kagome was his world even though he hadn't ever admitted it; Inuyasha knew that without her his life would be worthless. She made him feel an air of significance, when he was but a lowly... pathetic half-breed.

"I'm sorry, Kagome... please just open your eyes. I need you so much..." His words fell into nothing as she frowned and started to slowly move in the bed. As her eyes came into focus, she noted the man in red crouched beside the bed.

"Ugnh..." She moaned as she turned to face the wall; lying on her side. "Go away, Inuyasha. Why are you here?" He stumbled to find his words. Her voice sounded so hollow, so dense and cold it caused him to shiver.

"I...I...Kag...I'm so sorry..." He reached his hand to touch her back, but she flinched and sat up; moving away from his outstretched fingers. Kagome glared at him.

"Just leave. Please. I'm no longer of any use to you... I already told you that, so you don't have to worry about me anymore." She turned her face to look away from Inuyasha and clenched her jaw. Her head was killing her. It was quiet for a moment as Inuyasha simply gawked at the woman before him; a confused expression adorning his face. Finally she heard him take in a deep breath.

"I don't huh? Well then tell me Kagome, what exactly were you doing when I came in here and found you near death on your floor?" He tried to keep his steady firm stance before her, his eyes still glistening with the unshed tears that had not fallen yet. His voice softened and he sat beside her petite, tense body; hands placed placidly in his lap and tried to avoid looking away from them. "Why?" Kagome's head sharply turned to see him limply sitting next to her. He looked so pathetic and sad.

"Why ... Kami, Inuyasha there are so many answers to that question. I just... I just couldn't deal with any of this. Kikyo, the jewel, leaving, staying... my life was just a mess... it is just a mess." She sighed and brought her knees to her chest and closed her eyes; biting back tears at her thoughts.

"That's why I almost lost you...because you were... stressed?" She opened her eyes and her breathing caught in her lungs. "Or was... was it something more." She swallowed hard and inhaled deeply.

"You." Simply she said and let some of her tears trail down her stained cheeks. When she glanced to Inuyasha, he only looked confused. "In... Inuyasha... I, I got scared. Everything just happened too fast... and then I found out about..." Kagome hugged her knees closer and squeezed her eyes shut as her hiccupped cries filled his ears. However, when Inuyasha's instincts sensed her pain and he automatically reached his arms to hold her, she only tried pushing him away. Tighter he pulled her as she continued to fight through a blaze of uncontrolled tears. Finally, she fisted his chest and reluctantly let him hold her. He smoothed her hair until he felt her aura recede back a bit; her heart began to calm and the tears stopped.

"I'm sorry. I really am, Kagome. You were more than just a member of the tachi ... more than just a 'shard detector'. I'm sorry I didn't cherish you the way I should have... I'm sorry for so much I just don't know where to start." She hesitantly pushed away from him lightly; facing him.

"I just... I can't have your child. I couldn't handle knowing that; it made me sick with myself." He looked at her in shock. He never thought that she would say that about his and her offspring. Anyone else, yes... but not Kagome. He tried to remain calm; his voice steady as he spoke... still soft.

"A tainted child. Because of whom I am... what I am... I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have never done that to you, I marred you in a way that couldn't be taken back and... Damnit. I can't believe I was so stupid. How could anyone love a dirty half-breed or his despicable child?" Kagome gasped sharp and shook her head.

"No... that's not it. When I told you I love you for you, no matter what you are/... I meant that. I'm sorry ... I just couldn't deal with the knowledge that I ... I was ... am ... going to be a mother, I couldn't deal with..." She pushed away from his arms and turned away from him completely. "... Doing that on my own, and seeing you everyday knowing that my child... isn't even...loved or... wanted by ... its father." She was so quiet, Inuyasha felt his heart clench tight at her intention. "That, I am not either. I had nothing there anymore, and when I came back here... I realized the same. I have nothing, and I could never do that to a child. I didn't want to live with knowing I killed my baby, because it's /not despicable, but loved. Inuyasha I love my child...because I love you. Knowing that, and that I could never live with myself... that I have nothing, I did the only thing I could do to end the pain." She was quiet for a while before she looked at him once more. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, Inuyasha. You were supposed to go on with the rest of the life you were meant to live. Properly mourn for the loss of your love, Kikyo and be happy. You weren't supposed to come back for me. I wasn't supposed to survive that." Wonder crossed her mind how did I survive that?

"Kagome, you stupid wench." Her anger flared.

"Eep... Excuse /me/? How dare you. Why are you still here? Didn't I tell you to leave?" Suddenly she felt him pull her tightly to him.

"First, please just listen. Second, I love you... I can't be without you, and this child? I will protect it and its mother with everything I can give until my last dying breath. You are the only thing that makes me happy and I'm sorry for not seeing it or saying it sooner than this, I'm sorry for making you think that I loved Kikyo in the same respect as I once may have... most of all I'm sorry that you think you have no one. You will always have me, and I hate that those thoughts even dared to enter your thinking. I'm ashamed that I caused them... I just wish I hadn't caused you so much pain." He felt her sob hard against his chest as she wrapped her stiff arms around his torso; firmly hanging on. "Gods woman, you really don't know how much I love you do you?" He felt terrible about everything, and he knew he made a mistake... over and over again. The fact that Miroku would think such things right at first mention, proved his mistakes to be greater than he thought.

"Don't let go, Inuyasha. I... I ... I need you so much. I'm so scared." She sniffled and looked up at him through blurred eyes. He just held her.

For the next few hours after she finally surrendered to slumber, he held her as close as he could as she slept. When she stirred awake, she felt only the throbbing in her head... and the strong... long dreamt of arms, protectively surrounding her and holding her close.

"Oi wench, you finally awake?" His voice was soft, and concerned. For a moment, she sat silent, as if to collect her thoughts and memories together.

"How...?" She asked in a tiny, almost inaudible voice.

"What are you talking about, Kagome?" Closing her eyes and taking in a breath, Kagome then lifted her gaze to his and asked again.

"How... did you know? And... how did you fix the damage I had done?" He sighed and clenched her closer.