Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files: Parallel Universe

What if Joe and Patrick had shown up just a few seconds later?

by FrostedGlass 13 reviews

OH YEAH!... *doop doop*.... MMMMHHHH!.... *doop doop*.... *chicka chicka* (In case you´re wondering: Yes, I am insane... but that´s just quoting Duffman´s famous line from The Simpsons.)

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Published: 2006-10-26 - Updated: 2006-10-26 - 1153 words

23. What if Joe and Patrick had shown up just a few seconds later? *

NOTE: Chapters 1 to 22 plus the first half of 23 from the original "The Bass Files" are the pre-story of this parallel-universe plot line. One exception: Mr. Meatball´s neutered in this one. (So maybe I should shorten his name to "Mr. Meat"?)


The following day I drove myself to Joyce and Andy´s place to meet the guys for band practice. I was the first one to arrive so Andy and I started going over a couple of songs on our own while waiting for the guitarists.

"Have you ever played the drums?" the guy asked me all of a sudden.

"Yeah, when I was in high school I played some. All we did was cover songs though."

"Care to play again?" he got up and offered me his seat.

I smiled self-consciously (at least that´s how I felt), "I really don´t know... I haven´t played in ages... And my technique is horrible, I´m sure."

Andy walked over to me and softly pushed me into the direction of the drum kit. When I felt his hands on my hips I felt my face getting hot.

"I´ll be the judge of that," he said.

Finally I sat down behind his drums, Andy got right next to me. "How about you try the beat of the song we just did?"

Patrick and the rest of us had worked out a couple of new songs but most of them were still untitled. Some didn´t even have lyrics yet. (Blame us for turning down suggestions made by Joe such as having a song about Yoda´s cape or his Nintendo DS.)

"Okay... If I must," I glanced at him.

He smiled warmly at me, "You must."

I started playing but after a few seconds I found myself out of time. I stopped, "I told you I suck."

He got right behind me and bent over so that his chest was touching my upper back and shoulders. "You don´t suck, Sheena. All you need to do is work on your technique. The way you´re holding the sticks hinders you from playing any faster."

He grabbed my right hand with the drum stick in it with both hands and shifted it in my hand a bit.

If he hadn´t held the stick in my hand I know I would have dropped it. My heart was beating against my rib cage at the speed of light. (Obviously it was a much better drummer than I.) I had lost complete control over my body.

I turned my head slightly to look at Andy. Why was he still holding my hand?

Who cared? He was!

Now I finally understood the real meaning of "Drum machine joy".

When his eyes caught mine I heard both drum sticks hitting the floor.

Yeah, this was the moment. The goddamn cue for kissing was there: eye contact.

Andy leaned in.


I closed my eyes.


I almost felt Andy´s lips on mine. Closer....



Andy spun the swivel chair I was sitting on around so we were facing each other while we were placing small soft kisses on each other´s lips. He was kinda crouching so we could be face-to-face. It didn´t look very comfortable to me so I got up to make things easier for him. He followed suit - still kissing, you voyeurs - and I let my hands slide from his chest up to his shoulders where I rested them. He placed one hand on the small of my back and the other one onto my cheek, supporting my head. Our kisses become more intense, I felt his tongue on my lips.

"Hello, rhythm se- HOLY PACMAN!"

Andy pulled away quickly, looked at Joe who had just entered and interrupted what I will from now on refer to as one of the best moments of my life. It´s right up there with sneaking unnoticed from my high school´s cafeteria to my car with a huge chocolate stain on the butt of my white pants to get my sweater to cover up the mess and finding out that my breasts finally started to develop at the age of 19. (You see, there was actually a point to Nate´s comment about using Kleenex to enhance my bust.)

"Joe?" Andy raised an eyebrow at him. Joe was staring at us in puzzlement. Patrick, right behind him and looking over his shoulder, adjusted his hat and coughed lightly.


"Remove yourself. And take Patrick with you." Then Andy turned back to me and kissed me again.

I heard Joe protesting, "But it´s band practice time. I-"

"Let´s go, Joe," Patrick cut him off. "We´ll check on them later."

Then the door closed and Andy and I were alone again. We made out for a while until I pulled away and caught my breath.

"Um, we can continue this until hell freezes over - which probably just happened - but I need to know where this is going, Andy."

"Wow... well... As I haven´t really planned this I can´t tell ya. Where would you like this to go?" he took the easy way out.

Man, now I had to be the one making relationship suggestions.

I rolled my eyes, "You know that I like you so be a courageous vegan and tell me what you want." This is me, high on Andy´s kisses and eager for a future with more of them, being bold. And somewhat turned-on by previous actions.

"How about we go out for dinner later for starters?"

I smiled widely, "That would be awesome."

He smiled back at me, "That´s settled then. Mind if I call the guys in so we can practice?"

"Not at all. In fact, I still need to digest what just happened," I felt myself blushing slightly. If I hadn´t known it any better I could have sworn this was not real. A dream. A movie. A parallel universe. Heaven? Nah. Get real, Sheena, you had a fuck buddy in college.

Andy giggled at my silliness and got Patrick and Joe.

"Dude, what just HAPPENED in here?" Joe demanded to know.

Patrick winked at me, "Yeah, what just happened in here, Sheena?"

"Sheena and I are going out tonight. Even though that´s actually none of your business," Andy mock-lectured them.

Joe sighed dramatically, "Alright, people. This is a perfect example of why we had the no-chicks-in-the-band ru-"

"Oh, shut up!" Patrick, Andy and I yelled in unison and laughed at the pissed expression on his face.
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