Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files
"Kill that drummer!"
11 reviewsChapter 26 is your usual footnote fest, infested with exciting news, kissing other ficwad writers´ rears and the fashion secret of FrostedGlass´s mother.
3Funny
26. "Kill that drummer!"
GUIDELINE FOR FURTHER READER ENJOYMENT (chuckles): READ THE NEW CHAPTER OF THE REGULAR BASS FILES FIRST AND THEN THE P.U. (parallel universe) ONE. REPEAT THIS PROCEDURE UNTIL THIS CRAP COMES TO AN END.
________________________________
The next day I slipped the letter under Joe and Patrick´s door. When I was about to get into my car my phone rang. It was Patrick, asking me to come upstairs again. Thank god he had a heart of gold. Thank god he wasn´t such a resentful asshole like me. (Still hadn´t talked to Andy.)
When I reached the apartment Patrick met me at the door.
"I´m sorry I was being such a resentful asshole," he said, looking guilty.
I hugged him for a second, "It´s alright, dude. I should be the one apologizing because I took my disappointment out on you."
He smirked and led the way to his room. After he had closed the door he gave me a crooked smile, "The two of us sure know how to wallow in self-pity... The good thing about it though is that it makes great material for writing songs." We sat down on his bed.
Yeah, if there´s one thing the world really needs it´s more emo lyrics.*
"So, Joe tells me you haven´t talked to Andy yet?"
I didn´t wanna give up my grudge. Blaming someone else than yourself is so much nicer than admiting to your own ignorance. That´s what grown-ups are supposed to do.
Patrick fidgeted with his hat (How I had missed that!), "You guys should probably try to get along for the sake of the band. You don´t wanna fuel Joe´s fire about his stupid rule."
I sighed melodramaticly, "I know, I know.... I´ll call him one of these days."
"You better make that today ´cause I get all antsy if I can´t play with you and Andy as a complete band again. I´m already suffering from withdrawal, I think." That was too cute. And geeky.
"Yo, Hatman. You- Hello there, Sheena," Joe burst into the room. "I see you two are again behaving like the members of a band should." (In case you´re wondering, no, there weren´t any hookers bathing in plonk* and midgets dressed up like rednecks around. Well, except for Patrick.**) He smiled at us, looking rather pleased with the turn of events.
"Hello, Joe. Thank you for not knocking," Patrick replied.
"Hey. How´s the ´Bikini Madness´ coming along?" I asked.
He shrugged, "Good, good. I´m still working on getting through level 4. In the next one you can shrink the chicks´ tops with an alien laser gun."
Can you believe that guy got laid regularly? Statements like this one made it hard to believe that it had been him who had opened my eyes the day before.
Patrick grinned, "Did you happen to point that laser ray at your head lately?"
"No, but tell me when did it hit your entire body?" Joe retorted.
Patrick pouted, "My Mommy says great things come in small packages."
"Ha, obviously your Mom´s never had-" This felt like a good moment to join the conversation. Before Joe got technical.
"You seemed kinda excited when you came in?" I changed the topic.
"Oh yeah, I got great news, you guys! I have this friend who-" The door bell rang. "Do I ever get to finish my sentences again?", Joe complained. "But I guess that´s Andy. I told him to come over because he needs to hear the news too." He went to answer the door.
(Insert mental grunting here.)
"That´s good, then you guys can make up too," Patrick nudged me.
I switched from mental to audible grunting.
"That´s a good girl," he joked and petted my head.
DON´T... touch the hair.
Joe returned with Andy.
"Hi, there," he said.
"Hey, Andy," Patrick greeted back.
"Hello," I said. Obviously our drummer had started to grow a beard over the past few days that I hadn´t seen him. It looked really ridiculous.
"Ok, so now that the hatchet´s buried and the band´s back together I have to tell you the news," Joe blabbered.
Did anyone but me find it weird that we were hanging out in Patrick´s room, Joe and Andy standing around due to lack of seats, when we could have made ourselves comfy in the living room? The next time I´m taking part in fan fiction I demand I get an author that actually makes sense.**
Andy was looking uneasy, I think he was really feeling bad about what had happened.
"So this friend of mine," Joe continued, "is in a band called ´Rattlesnake UFO´ and they´re touring some colleges in one week´s time. They saw us play and asked me if we would like to tag along as support act. How awesome is that?!"***
Patrick´s face lit up as if he had just banged Evie. Andy´s expression changed from uneasiness to reflecting positive surprise.
And I had to spoil the fun.
"Ah, for how long is this tour gonna be exactly?" I asked.
"Something like three weeks or so. Oh, it´s gonna be so grand, dude!" Joe squealed. (Again, can you believe that guy got laid regularly?)
"I´ll ask Ted if he can get someone else to cover for me in the music store. I bet that´ll be no problem," Patrick chirped happily.
"Well, I hope my boss is fine with me being gone for so long. But she owes me a favor anyway and right now there´s not much work," Andy let us know.
"And I´ll just quit my crappy job. I hate it anyway!" Joe blurted out.
Yeah, about that...
"Guys," I spoke up, "I cannot just abandon my class for three weeks."
"Can´t they just get a substitute?" Joe wanted to know.
"I don´t know... a substitute teacher for three weeks on such a short notice? I mean they had me move here because they couldn´t find somebody else to teach my class."
Patrick sighed sadly, "That sucks."
"Um, Sheena," Andy looked at me, "this is not about what I did, is it?"
"Huh?" I furrowed my brow.
"Well, you´re not just looking for an excuse not to make this tour because we didn´t hook up, are you?"
Readers, he surely didn´t make it easy for me to give up my grudge. What kinda crap was that?
"What kinda crap is that?" I hissed angrily, "As a teacher I´ve got responsibility and lots of it. I love my job and I´m not gonna give it up just so I can entertain a bunch of drunk college kids and probably their hip professors."
"I was just checking," Andy explained himself meekly.
You better check the mirror, caveman. Your beard is gross.
_________________
* Sheena wouldn´t know good music if it ended up in wet clothes and did her on her couch.
** You´ll never hear the end of it.
* The verdict of FrostedGlass´s mother on Stumpian fashion sense. (And she´s allowed to pass a judgement like that, being, like, THE INVENTOR of wearing a t-shirt and sweats.) Speaking of which, I added some pics to my profile. If you´re having a bad hair day, go there and you´ll feel better instantly.
* Bugga, bugga. drools*
*** It´s ACE, silly.
GUIDELINE FOR FURTHER READER ENJOYMENT (chuckles): READ THE NEW CHAPTER OF THE REGULAR BASS FILES FIRST AND THEN THE P.U. (parallel universe) ONE. REPEAT THIS PROCEDURE UNTIL THIS CRAP COMES TO AN END.
________________________________
The next day I slipped the letter under Joe and Patrick´s door. When I was about to get into my car my phone rang. It was Patrick, asking me to come upstairs again. Thank god he had a heart of gold. Thank god he wasn´t such a resentful asshole like me. (Still hadn´t talked to Andy.)
When I reached the apartment Patrick met me at the door.
"I´m sorry I was being such a resentful asshole," he said, looking guilty.
I hugged him for a second, "It´s alright, dude. I should be the one apologizing because I took my disappointment out on you."
He smirked and led the way to his room. After he had closed the door he gave me a crooked smile, "The two of us sure know how to wallow in self-pity... The good thing about it though is that it makes great material for writing songs." We sat down on his bed.
Yeah, if there´s one thing the world really needs it´s more emo lyrics.*
"So, Joe tells me you haven´t talked to Andy yet?"
I didn´t wanna give up my grudge. Blaming someone else than yourself is so much nicer than admiting to your own ignorance. That´s what grown-ups are supposed to do.
Patrick fidgeted with his hat (How I had missed that!), "You guys should probably try to get along for the sake of the band. You don´t wanna fuel Joe´s fire about his stupid rule."
I sighed melodramaticly, "I know, I know.... I´ll call him one of these days."
"You better make that today ´cause I get all antsy if I can´t play with you and Andy as a complete band again. I´m already suffering from withdrawal, I think." That was too cute. And geeky.
"Yo, Hatman. You- Hello there, Sheena," Joe burst into the room. "I see you two are again behaving like the members of a band should." (In case you´re wondering, no, there weren´t any hookers bathing in plonk* and midgets dressed up like rednecks around. Well, except for Patrick.**) He smiled at us, looking rather pleased with the turn of events.
"Hello, Joe. Thank you for not knocking," Patrick replied.
"Hey. How´s the ´Bikini Madness´ coming along?" I asked.
He shrugged, "Good, good. I´m still working on getting through level 4. In the next one you can shrink the chicks´ tops with an alien laser gun."
Can you believe that guy got laid regularly? Statements like this one made it hard to believe that it had been him who had opened my eyes the day before.
Patrick grinned, "Did you happen to point that laser ray at your head lately?"
"No, but tell me when did it hit your entire body?" Joe retorted.
Patrick pouted, "My Mommy says great things come in small packages."
"Ha, obviously your Mom´s never had-" This felt like a good moment to join the conversation. Before Joe got technical.
"You seemed kinda excited when you came in?" I changed the topic.
"Oh yeah, I got great news, you guys! I have this friend who-" The door bell rang. "Do I ever get to finish my sentences again?", Joe complained. "But I guess that´s Andy. I told him to come over because he needs to hear the news too." He went to answer the door.
(Insert mental grunting here.)
"That´s good, then you guys can make up too," Patrick nudged me.
I switched from mental to audible grunting.
"That´s a good girl," he joked and petted my head.
DON´T... touch the hair.
Joe returned with Andy.
"Hi, there," he said.
"Hey, Andy," Patrick greeted back.
"Hello," I said. Obviously our drummer had started to grow a beard over the past few days that I hadn´t seen him. It looked really ridiculous.
"Ok, so now that the hatchet´s buried and the band´s back together I have to tell you the news," Joe blabbered.
Did anyone but me find it weird that we were hanging out in Patrick´s room, Joe and Andy standing around due to lack of seats, when we could have made ourselves comfy in the living room? The next time I´m taking part in fan fiction I demand I get an author that actually makes sense.**
Andy was looking uneasy, I think he was really feeling bad about what had happened.
"So this friend of mine," Joe continued, "is in a band called ´Rattlesnake UFO´ and they´re touring some colleges in one week´s time. They saw us play and asked me if we would like to tag along as support act. How awesome is that?!"***
Patrick´s face lit up as if he had just banged Evie. Andy´s expression changed from uneasiness to reflecting positive surprise.
And I had to spoil the fun.
"Ah, for how long is this tour gonna be exactly?" I asked.
"Something like three weeks or so. Oh, it´s gonna be so grand, dude!" Joe squealed. (Again, can you believe that guy got laid regularly?)
"I´ll ask Ted if he can get someone else to cover for me in the music store. I bet that´ll be no problem," Patrick chirped happily.
"Well, I hope my boss is fine with me being gone for so long. But she owes me a favor anyway and right now there´s not much work," Andy let us know.
"And I´ll just quit my crappy job. I hate it anyway!" Joe blurted out.
Yeah, about that...
"Guys," I spoke up, "I cannot just abandon my class for three weeks."
"Can´t they just get a substitute?" Joe wanted to know.
"I don´t know... a substitute teacher for three weeks on such a short notice? I mean they had me move here because they couldn´t find somebody else to teach my class."
Patrick sighed sadly, "That sucks."
"Um, Sheena," Andy looked at me, "this is not about what I did, is it?"
"Huh?" I furrowed my brow.
"Well, you´re not just looking for an excuse not to make this tour because we didn´t hook up, are you?"
Readers, he surely didn´t make it easy for me to give up my grudge. What kinda crap was that?
"What kinda crap is that?" I hissed angrily, "As a teacher I´ve got responsibility and lots of it. I love my job and I´m not gonna give it up just so I can entertain a bunch of drunk college kids and probably their hip professors."
"I was just checking," Andy explained himself meekly.
You better check the mirror, caveman. Your beard is gross.
_________________
* Sheena wouldn´t know good music if it ended up in wet clothes and did her on her couch.
** You´ll never hear the end of it.
* The verdict of FrostedGlass´s mother on Stumpian fashion sense. (And she´s allowed to pass a judgement like that, being, like, THE INVENTOR of wearing a t-shirt and sweats.) Speaking of which, I added some pics to my profile. If you´re having a bad hair day, go there and you´ll feel better instantly.
* Bugga, bugga. drools*
*** It´s ACE, silly.
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