FicWad

"Izzy, please open the door," Pete said banging on the outside of my door.

He had a pleading in his voice that made me want to open the door, but I didn't want him to see the bruise he had left across my right cheek. There was no way makeup was going to cover that up. Pete had already sent four bouquets of flowers along with a couple of stuffed animals, and it had only been two days. All were sitting in my entryway.

Patrick knew something was up from the moment he had heard my voice over the phone. I had told him everything was fine, and that I was just not feeling well, but I knew he didn't buy it.

"Izzy, please. I'm so sorry. I talked to my psychiatrist and I got my med dose raised. I'm really trying Izzy, it's just hard. Please open the door," he pleaded.

I stood on the other side of the door trying to hold my tears back. I just wasn't ready to see him. It had gotten to the point where sorry was just a word with no meaning.

"Ok, well, we have a gig on Friday and I hope you come. I love you," he said quietly.

I looked out the window to see him walking slowly down the street. I burst into tears at the sight of him. He broke my heart again when he promised he wouldn't. I thought I was strong enough to stick with him through this, but my doubts were starting to overcome my thoughts.

------

I jumped at the sound of my doorbell on Friday afternoon. I held my breath in hopes that who ever was at my door would just leave, but they rang the bell again. I slowly got out of my bed and walked down to the door. I looked through the peep hole to see Patrick standing there looking straight at the door with determination on his face.

"IZ! I'm not leaving until you open the door, so open it," he said loudly.

I smiled slightly to myself. I knew he wasn't kidding. Patrick was overly stubborn at times. I opened the door a crack and only allowed the left side of my body to show.

"Patrick, stay away. I'm contagious and I don't want to get you sick," I said quietly.

"Well, that's a load of bull. I know you and Pete are fighting because he is crushed and being overly dramatic. So you may as well let me in because I'm not leaving without you. I'm taking you to the show tonight whether you like it or not," he said smiling smugly once he lodged his foot in between the door and the door frame.

I looked down at his foot and smiled.

"Patrick, just go without me. I'm fine," I said simply. He would freak if he saw my face.

"No," he said simply now lodging his fingers in the crack of the slightly open door.

"Go ahead, crush my fingers. Because that's what you are going to have to do to get me to leave," he said stubbornly.

I couldn't help but let tears fall down my face.

"I can't let you in," I said crying.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't want you to see me," I said putting my head down.

"Let me in, now," he said almost sounding angry.

"Please, Patrick, just leave," I said crying more.

"NO! Let me in!" he yelled.

My head snapped up and I saw the look of concern in his eyes, and he was right, I could never say no to that face.

"Ok, ok," I said backing away slowly.

Patrick burst through the door and immediately saw my face.

"Oh my God, Izzy," he said running up to me and cupping my face with his hands in order to get a closer look at the bruise that was still evident on my cheek.

"Patrick, calm down. It's nothing. I'm fine," I said in a monotone voice.

"No Iz, this is not alright!" he said upset. "You have got to stop this," he said in a pleading voice.

"He doesn't mean it, Patrick. He's sick and he's getting help," I started.

"Enough of the excuses!" Patrick yelled startling me.

I just put my head down. I was so tired. I was tired of defending Pete, of hearing I'm sorry, of making up excuses, and especially of seeing that look of disappointment in Patrick's face. I was tired of it all.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"No, Iz, you should not be apologizing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, but he can't get away with this anymore. It's bullshit," he said upset.

"What are you going to do?" I asked looking up at Patrick shocked. I had never seen him so angry before in my life.

"Something I should have done a long time ago," he said going towards the door.

"Patrick, no! I'm fine. Don't do anything that you are going to regret," I said reaching for his arm.

"I'm sorry, Iz. This has gone on long enough," he said upset and walked out the door.

I panicked. He couldn't confront Pete; it would just make things worse. I had to stop it. I ran upstairs to quickly put some clothes on other than my pajamas and ran down the stairs frantically putting my flip flops on. I started running towards Andy's being that they had a show that night and they would be getting ready for it at his house.

Once I got to the garage I could hear yelling.

"Does it make you feel more like a man, Pete? You pushing Izzy around like that?" I heard Patrick yell.

"You don't know anything, so stay out of it!" Pete yelled back.

I ran up to the door and stopped as soon as I heard the words come out of Patrick's mouth.

"I know everything, Pete. She told me everything," he said almost as though those words were going to hurt Pete the way he hurt my face.

The next thing I knew Pete had charged towards Patrick and knocked him down like a linebacker.

"Pete, no!" I yelled as his fists came in contact with Patrick's face.

I didn't know what to do. I wasn't strong enough to get Pete off of Patrick.

"Andy! Joe! Somebody! Please help!" I yelled running out of the garage and towards the house.

Andy came rushing out of the house looking confused with Joe on his heels.

"What the hell is going on out here?" he asked confused.

"Pete, Patrick," I pointed to the garage unable to speak in full sentences.

Both boys ran into the garage in time to pull Pete off of Patrick before he caused too much damage.

"Enough!" Andy yelled holding Pete back as Joe had a hold of Patrick who was ready to attack.

"What the fuck is going on?" Joe asked as the boys just glared at each other breathing heavily. No one said a word.

"Would someone please explain what is going on?" Andy asked getting upset now.

"Nothing, just creative differences," Pete said with clenched teeth.

"Is this true, Patrick?" Andy asked.

Patrick didn't say anything; he just nodded, but kept his stone cold stare on Pete.

"Jesus, you guys. Figure it out because I am sure it isn't something to ruin your friendship over," Andy said letting go of Pete slightly making sure that he wasn't going to lunge at Patrick again.

I stayed back as to not interfere or make things worse. My hand was in front of my mouth in shock as I saw Patrick's lip and nose bleeding. Pete had a nice gash by his eye as well. This was my entire fault. I created all this drama.

"Yeah, guys. At least figure out a way to be around each other for a couple of hours tonight so we can get through this gig and then we can figure out this whole creative difference thing later," Joe said now letting go of Patrick.

Neither of the boys said anything to one another; they just kept their grimaced stares.

"Ok?" Andy asked wanting to get a response from someone.

"Ok," Patrick said quietly and Pete nodded.

"Alright," Andy said walking with Joe back into the house to finish what ever they were working on.

I stood there in shock, not entirely sure what to do or say. The boys continued to stare at each other.

"Fuck this shit," Pete said and started to leave, but stopped when he saw me standing in the doorway. I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I trusted you with all that I had, and you broke that trust," he said quietly to me.

I couldn't speak. I was in shock.

"I want nothing to do with either of you. Nothing," he said and walked past me towards the house.

I broke down into sobs and looked up into Patrick's eyes. He looked extremely guilty.

"Why couldn't you just let it be?" I asked and turned to leave.

"Izzy," Patrick yelled trying to stop me.

"No, Patrick," I said turning to look at him. "Don't come to my rescue. You need to fix things with Pete, first and foremost. I've told you once, and I will tell you again. I am fine," I said and with that I was out the door walking back to my house.

----

As soon as I got to my house I walked straight up to my room knowing perfectly well what had to be done. I took out my college information and started to fill out the first year registration form for St. Anna's. This is what needed to be done. Patrick and Pete's relationship was faltering, and I would never forgive myself if the band broke up because of drama that I had caused.

Tears ran down my face as I filled out the form from the idea of what I was giving up. I was giving up a love that I never wanted to end, and a friendship that I had to say goodbye to. It was one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with.

I started bawling as I walked down my driveway to the mailbox with the manila envelope in my hands. This was all too real and it hurt all too much.

----

"I think I'm in shock," Patrick said quietly as we sat in the airport waiting for my flight to be called.

I had said goodbye to my mom the day before and now here I was at the airport with Patrick. We were sitting side by side just holding hands. I couldn't bear to look at him because I knew I would break down.

Pete and Patrick managed to get through the rough patch that came after the big blowout. Pete knowing that Patrick knew everything actually made them closer. Go figure. Pete and I had talked once since the fight. I told him that I was leaving and he basically nodded and said bye. That was it. It was over between us. I still loved him with all my heart, but we just weren't meant to be.

Patrick told me that he and Pete made a pact to not mention my name. It broke my heart. Patrick said it was because it caused Pete to feel too much pain at the sound of my name. I didn't know how to take that news. I'm sure Pete knew that Patrick and I still talked, but I was never mentioned in conversation. It was probably better that way. At least Pete could get the help that he needed and make the progress that was imperative.

"I'm doing this for you both," I whispered scared that my voice would break if I spoke any louder.

"I still think you are running," he said back.

I half-smiled at this. Maybe I was running, but if I stayed things would only get worse. I truly believed that in my heart.

Suddenly my flight number was called and I felt as though I was going to hyperventilate.

"Oh god," I said quietly trying not to break down.

"This is it, Iz. It's time for you to fly," he said quietly standing up.

I had to look at him now. Was I strong enough to do this? I looked up into his face and let the tears fall down.

"Trix," I cried hugging him tightly.

"Hey, calm down. We will see each other again," he said holding me close.

"I know. I'm just going to miss you," I said pulling away slightly so I could look at his face again.

"I'm going to miss you too, but you have to go get all smart," he said smiling down on me.

"And you have to go get famous," I said back.

He just pulled me into a hug. I knew he was holding back tears for my sake.

"I love you," he whispered so quietly I was almost sure that I imagined it.

"I love you too," I said back.

The voice over the intercom announced the final boarding for my flight and I was forced to step out of Patrick's arms. I grabbed my bag and walked to my gate with my ticket in hand. As I started to walk into the terminal I turned around to see Patrick standing there just staring at me. I blew him one last kiss before finally turning to leave for Minnesota.


AN: Hang in there folks. This isn't the last chapter....yet. OH Yeah! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You are all amazing!