FicWad

Dedicated to all those who inspire Drama and readers who deman a bit of drama.....

Dear Shay

I'm too coward to talk to you on the phone, this is all I got until I know I have a portion of your forgiveness.

I don't know what to say.

This is harder than I thought it would be.

Thank you for my son.

He brings joy like no other. Only thing is, he's so much like you, I don't know if I can bear it.

His mannerisms, his disposition, he watches people just like you. When he laughs, he throws his head back and roars, just like you. His affection for cuddles and kisses......is from you.

It's hard work Shay, I find it hard to comfort him. I'm not his mother, he knows it. I think he resents me.

Hardest of all, he continually asks me "Where's Dad?" and I don't know what to tell him.

I don't know at all.

Sophie.



~~~


Sophie

Thank you for letting me know how Rory is.

I'm sorry he reminds you of me.

I'm sorry he asks for his Dad, you should tell him that his Daddy' s in Chicago and that he misses him in ways he would never imagine.

I'm sorry you find it hard to comfort him, he loves to be sung to, especially Fall Out Boy songs. He prefers warm tea in the evenings and on Weekends, he expects a cuddle with you in your bed.

I'm sorry you feel I can't be involved in his life at all. I am nothing without him. Nothing at all.


Lastly, I'm sorry I'll never be able to forgive you for what you've done to me and my family.

You found happiness at my expense, but my happiness was found at yours.

I'm trying to work it all out in my head, here's what I found:

I miss my son.



~~~



Shay was stuffing another piece of bread down on to her banana sandwich and Patrick admired his blossoming fiancé from the other side of the worktop. She moaned as she took a bite from the sandwich and nodded as she chewed it.

"So Good..." she moaned. He ate his toast and continued to watch her as she ate the sandwich.

She opened the fridge and raided it, looking for more food to satisfy her appetite.

"Hey - where'd the cheesecake go??" She whined, she turned to Patrick and he opened his eyes wide.

"Pete and I .....ate...." He stopped as she glared at him.

"OK...something's telling me we shouldn't have eaten that particular cheesecake...." He said cautiously as she walked towards him. He got off the stool quickly and walked around the island , laughing as he did.

"Obviously we're both very very sorry!" He said and she moved around, stalking him with a miffed expression.

"Ugh! Patrick Stump!!" She shouted angrily.

"I'm sorry!" He whined playfully.

"She wants cheesecake - what am I supposed to tell her??" She asked , gesturing to her evident bump.

Patrick stared at her, his eyes opened wide.

"You said 'she'!" He pointed to her. She realized suddenly.

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did - you said 'She wants cheesecake - what am I supposed to tell her/?'....you definitely said '/she'!!" He said smiling,

"I did not - I meant it in a general term!" She argued quickly.

Patrick stared at her, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"You're lying...." He said, catching that glint in her eyes.

She went to speak but stopped.

"I knew it!!" He said, pointing both fingers at her as he walked towards her.

She smiled shyly and shook her head.

"When did you find out??" He smiled.

"Last scan, I asked her when you went out the room!" She smiled coyly. His hands were wrapping around her face and throat affectionately.

"A girl?" He asked with a huge smile, she nodded quickly and he kissed her hard.

"This is amazing!" He smiled and he picked her up slightly, her bump squeezed against him. He leaned down and kissed it firmly.

"Hey baby girl!" He cooed, she laughed and ruffled his ( for once ) hatless head.



~~~



"Shay?" He called as he kicked the front door shut. He threw his travel bag down and unloaded his other stuff.

"Shay??" He called again as he walked through to the living room. He frowned, she knew he was coming home, he'd called when he landed.

"Sh-" He started as he turned on his heels and his jaw dropped as he saw her leaning against the doorway in a baby doll. She wandered over to him and his heart was racing like mad, how the hell could she still do that to him like it was the first time?

She slowly wrapped her arms around him and they kissed softly.

"Hey baby..." She whispered, he smiled adoringly. She slipped off his jacket and threw it over the arm chair and pushed him backwards where he sat down obediently.

"How was the journey?" She asked, gently untying his shoelaces and slipping his shoes off.

"In comparison to economy seats, it was nothing short of a dream...." He said, she laughed gently.

"You deserve first class.....you've earned it!" she smiled, she stood up and walked out, coming back in a few seconds later with a bowl of hot water. This was the ritual now when he got home from long trips.

The first few hours were spent her seeing to his every need and she enjoyed every second of it. She gently washed his feet and he explained to her about the new songs they'd been recording.

"Enough about me.....how are you and baby today?" He asked, tilting his head to the side as she rubbed his feet softly.

"I'm fine, I finished the last ever assignment today - University work is officially over....Baby's been....well, a pain in my bladder today but I'll forgive her...." She smiled, Patrick laughed.

"The guys send their love.........but Pete might be coming here after he finishes at the party......" Patrick said shyly.

"Patrick?!" She whined.

"I'm sorry! He's only a couple of blocks down and I kinda offered before I thought...."

"Thought?? Patrick - you're the only guy I know that would sacrifice the first night of sex in 2 weeks for Pete!" She said , shaking her head.

"Don't be mad!" He said with puppy eyes and she moved the bowl of water out of her way on the floor.

She climbed on top of him on the sofa and kissed his lips gently.

"I'm not mad - just horny as hell!" She whispered into his lips softly and his hands gripped her ass firmly.

She tugged his T-Shirt up over his head and undid his jeans. He tried his best to get into it but that spark wasn't there and she soon noticed when he refused to be aroused.

"What's wrong?" She said, her lips swollen from their kissing. He couldn't speak, he couldn't get the words out.

"I think I'm tired!" he said with a little frown. Her hands hung on his neck heavily as she stared into his eyes.

"You're never too tired..." She whispered. She kissed him again and tried to stimulate him but he was sloppy in his returns. She pulled away again.

"Is it me? Am I doing something?" She asked with a frown. He shook his head.

"No...No it's not you."

"You don't find me attractive do you?" She asked, backing off him slightly, she pulled up the strap of her night gown and moved off him.

"Shay - I do! I just, I'm sorry!" He said as she refused to look at him.

"It's ok Patrick, I understand!" She said, standing up and sorting herself. She carried the bowl into the kitchen.

He got up and fastened his jeans hastily, following her.

"Shay, I can explain, it's not you - you're beautiful!" He said, she poured out the water and nodded quickly.

"Shay!" He called her name firmly. She stopped what she was doing but remained turned away from him, looking into the sink.

"Shay...." He said weakly, she noticed the tone of that last request and she turned with a slight frown. He stared at her. This was going to be bad.

"I've been unfaithful...." He said weakly.

"What?" She asked, her frown deepening and her heart pumping stupidly in her chest.

He couldn't look at the hurt in those eyes anymore and he hammered his eyes firmly into the slate of the kitchen floor.

"I slept with someone else." He said, swallowing hard.

Now would have been a good time for Pete to arrive.....


"Who?" She said in low tone.

"Shay-"

"-Tell me who!!!" She shouted angrily.

He shook his head.

"You tell me now Patrick!!" She commanded angrily.

There was a long silence. He debated quickly in his mind how relevant it was, trying to convince himself it wasn't relevant at all, but she was adamant she wanted to know. The woman's name was on the tip of his tongue, the coward-like behavior stopping it coming out.

"Greta."

She stood before him , her chest heaving up and down, her eyes seething in anger.

There was a prolonged silence again and she swallowed hard, the lump was huge and dam behind her eyes being held only by her uncontrollable anger at this moment.

"Did I ever not give you anything Patrick?" She asked with a very apparent questioning tone.

"It wasn't like-"

"-What did she give you that I couldn't give you?"

"Nothing!" He growled angrily, angry at himself.

"Absolutely nothing!" He repeated.

Her hand shot up and slapped him hard across the cheek. She glared at him and he remained looking in the direction the strike had sent his face.

"Why would you dishonor me like that Patrick?" She asked coolly. She stormed out.

The reality check to him was harsh. A moment of heated, alcohol induced passion had potentially ruined the very heart of the woman he'd promised to love and cherish.

The truth was, Greta wasn't worth it. No matter what a wonderful person she was.

She'd never be half the woman Shay was.