Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Bass Files: Parallel Universe

Literary Therapy

by FrostedGlass 4 reviews

Growing up´s the hardest part...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor, Parody, Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-11-05 - Updated: 2006-11-05 - 813 words

29. Literary Therapy *

On my birthday my class surprised me by singing "Happy Birthday" when I walked into the room. (Somewhat out of tune but nonetheless very sweet.)

However, the idyll did not last very long. While the children were busily painting pictures as a sort of recreation I corrected their homework assignments at the teacher´s desk. Suddenly two boys started yelling at each other.

"You´re a filthy thief!" Xander screamed at Evan.

"Am not!" the accused retorted.

"I had the idea first!"

I got up from my chair and walked over to them, "What´s the problem here, boys?"

Xander pointed at Evan, "He stole my idea!"

I placed my hand soothingly on his shoulder, "Hey, tune it down a bit, ok? I´m listening. No need to yell."

He nodded and bit his lip.

"I didn´t steal HIS idea. It´s not like he´s the inventor of purple cows!"

I turned towards the other child, "Alright, calm down, Evan. We´ll work this out. So what exactly is the problem?"

Xander sighed, "I´ve been painting purple cows onto my pictures for weeks now and all of a sudden Evan does it too. And then Janet and a bunch of other kids see it on Evan´s piece of paper and they´re all like ´This is so cool.´... But I had the idea first!"

I nodded.

Evan pouted, "It´s not like he owns the concept of purple cows or anything." You could tell the boy had a teenage sister.

I asked Xander to come to the teacher´s desk with me so we could have a private talk.

"Look, Xander. This is really nothing to get yourself all worked up about. You have to see this from a different perspective. The f-"

"But, Ms. Scully! It´s MY idea."

"It´s not polite to interrupt people. Hear me out."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked slightly angry but nodded anyways.

"Do you know what it means that Evan copied your purple cows?"

"Yes, he´s a mean copycat."

I shook my head, "No. And by the way, what do you want of him now? Do you want a footnote on his painting where he gives reference to you as the inventor of purple cows?"*

"What´s a footnote?"

Due to my marveling at these kids´ silliness I had forgotten who I was talking to. Footnotes, along with parallel universes, are for people who should be able to keep their cool and be civil.

"A footnote is-... That´s actually besides the point now, Xander. The thing is that obviously Evan thinks that your idea is so good that he wants to use it himself. It´s a compliment really."

Xander cocked his head to the side and his face lit up, "Really? You think so?"

"Yes, I´m sure of that. He thinks the purple cows are really something and that´s why he paints them himself."

Xander was beaming by now.

"Ok, let´s have you go back to your desk and finish that wonderful picture of yours," I smiled back at him.

"Thank you, Ms. Scully."**

Sometimes you just wana shake your head at the ridiculous issues children this age saw themselves faced with.

_ _ _ _ _

That evening the guys plus Joyce surprised me with the best gift I´ve ever been given: The same kind of bass that Pete had. Obviously Patrick had worked his ass off to have it delivered to the music store he worked at and they all had chipped in to buy it for me.

After we had had some cake and talked about where and when to meet for hitting the road to start the tour tomorrow, Andy and I said our goodbyes to the others to go out for dinner.

"If it hadn´t been for Patrick I really wouldn´t have known what to get you... or that it´s your birthday today," he admitted, an expression of guilt on his face.

I got into the passenger´s seat next to him and placed my hand on his resting on the steering wheel, "That´s ok, Andy. It all worked out in the end, right?"

"Yes, it did," he smiled at me brightly. "Are you psyched about the tour?"

"You have no idea how much," I replied. "That´s probably the most dignified way to deflower my new bass."

Patrick was so awesome for getting it for me... And all the others too. Um, especially Andy, of course.

My boyfriend giggled and raised an eyebrow, "Deflower your bass, eh?"

"Yeah. Hi, I´m Sheena and I´m a dork."

We laughed and drove off into the night.*


* Which Xander is definitely not. Here´s a treat for ya, Evie:

** Yes, thank you, Sheena.

* A very appropriate cliché, I believe.
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