Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I Am Patrick Stump's Twin
Chapter One
3 reviewsYou find out Joe is smart enough to take high school physics. Yep, this is a fantasy fic.
3Funny
Even though Patrick and Malerie came from the sperm of the same folk singer turned corporate drone father, their music preferences were... let's just say they didn't agree with each other. Malerie, deciding in 10th grade to rebel against her classmates by acting more like her parents, loaded her media player playlist with 1960s artists like Bob Dylan, the Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel and six hours of Beatles songs. Patrick, rebelling from his parents, conformed with his classmates and drew his inspiration from Prince, Christina Aguilera, Bowie, Earth, Wind and Fire, and Elvis Costello.
For Physics class, they were asked to put together "life soundtracks." As they looked over their choices for songs their faces wrinkled in disgust.
"Christina Aguilera?" Malerie asked.
"Bob Dylan?" Patrick snapped back. "Bob is so overrated."
"At least Bob was part of a music movement. What did Christina do? Have a skank contest with Britney Spears?"
"Christina has very nice..." Patrick put his hands up by his chest, "...tone."
Joe looked up from his list of hard core death metal, "I know I've asked this before, but are you sure you two are related?"
They both looked at him. "Unfortunately."
"Oh," Joe replied then he grinned, "What are you doing tonight, Malerie?" he asked with the innocence of a sweet, Jewish boy.
"I'm hanging out with Billie tonight, Joe," Malerie replied like an annoyed sister addressing her twin brother's best friend.
"Patrick! Dude!" Joe exclaimed. "You know what this means?"
"You can quit hitting on my sister?"
"We get the basement to ourselves!" Joe explained, holding his hand up for a high five. When Patrick didn't respond he continued. "This'll be sweet. We won't have some stupid girl hanging around asking us what the point of Halo is."
"What IS the point of Halo?" Malerie asked, raising an eyebrow.
Joe pointed at her. "See!"
She couldn't help but giggle. "Well, I'm sorry that my friends and I like to hang out in a place called Reality."
Joe moved his mouth stupidly, not sure of what to say.
Patrick gave his sister a bored look and shook his head. "You know you can't be sarcastic around Joe, Mal."
"I know Patrick," Malerie said, putting her hands on his shoulders dramatically, "and I'm sorry, but I have to go," she admitted and quickly turned to leave.
Patrick frowned, "Where are you going?"
Malerie smirked playfully as she turned back to him. "Out to lunch with Billie and his friends."
Patrick gave her an 'are-you-very-dumb-or-what?' look. "It's not lunchtime!"
Malerie gave him an 'are-you-really-my-brother?' look. "Yeah, duh." She gave him one last smile before heading out one of the school's back doors.
"Well, I'm not covering for you again!" Patrick weakly called after her. He shut his eyes and sighed. It wasn't that he didn't trust Billie with Malerie, after all they've known each other since 6th grade, it was the fact that Billie had recently gotten into drugs, dropped out of school and invited his sister along for the ride that pissed him off. Joe tapped him on the arm. "What?" he snapped.
Joe knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Where's Reality?" he asked seriously.
Patrick opened his mouth to explain, then decided against it. "Let's just get to class."
For Physics class, they were asked to put together "life soundtracks." As they looked over their choices for songs their faces wrinkled in disgust.
"Christina Aguilera?" Malerie asked.
"Bob Dylan?" Patrick snapped back. "Bob is so overrated."
"At least Bob was part of a music movement. What did Christina do? Have a skank contest with Britney Spears?"
"Christina has very nice..." Patrick put his hands up by his chest, "...tone."
Joe looked up from his list of hard core death metal, "I know I've asked this before, but are you sure you two are related?"
They both looked at him. "Unfortunately."
"Oh," Joe replied then he grinned, "What are you doing tonight, Malerie?" he asked with the innocence of a sweet, Jewish boy.
"I'm hanging out with Billie tonight, Joe," Malerie replied like an annoyed sister addressing her twin brother's best friend.
"Patrick! Dude!" Joe exclaimed. "You know what this means?"
"You can quit hitting on my sister?"
"We get the basement to ourselves!" Joe explained, holding his hand up for a high five. When Patrick didn't respond he continued. "This'll be sweet. We won't have some stupid girl hanging around asking us what the point of Halo is."
"What IS the point of Halo?" Malerie asked, raising an eyebrow.
Joe pointed at her. "See!"
She couldn't help but giggle. "Well, I'm sorry that my friends and I like to hang out in a place called Reality."
Joe moved his mouth stupidly, not sure of what to say.
Patrick gave his sister a bored look and shook his head. "You know you can't be sarcastic around Joe, Mal."
"I know Patrick," Malerie said, putting her hands on his shoulders dramatically, "and I'm sorry, but I have to go," she admitted and quickly turned to leave.
Patrick frowned, "Where are you going?"
Malerie smirked playfully as she turned back to him. "Out to lunch with Billie and his friends."
Patrick gave her an 'are-you-very-dumb-or-what?' look. "It's not lunchtime!"
Malerie gave him an 'are-you-really-my-brother?' look. "Yeah, duh." She gave him one last smile before heading out one of the school's back doors.
"Well, I'm not covering for you again!" Patrick weakly called after her. He shut his eyes and sighed. It wasn't that he didn't trust Billie with Malerie, after all they've known each other since 6th grade, it was the fact that Billie had recently gotten into drugs, dropped out of school and invited his sister along for the ride that pissed him off. Joe tapped him on the arm. "What?" he snapped.
Joe knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Where's Reality?" he asked seriously.
Patrick opened his mouth to explain, then decided against it. "Let's just get to class."
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