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[[UPADTE]] Chyea, I know it's been a while. I apologize. My friend apologized and we're all good now; it was so adorable how she wrote it too lOl. Ok but anyways; also the P!ATD concert was nothing short of amazing. Oh gosh, If there are still tickets in your area, buy them and go, it's truly magnificent. OH AND JUST A HEADS UP TO ALL OF YOU;; TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!

Oh yes, read it, love it, review it;; [[we all know that Lauren loves her reviews]]




After I was released from the hospital later that week, me and Adam moved in together. It was strange seeing as we had only kissed for the first time a few days before; but I suppose he just wanted to make sure nothing so terrible could ever happen to me again; so I moved all of my things into his apartment and put mine up for rent.

It was a few days later. Things had finally started feeling like normal again; Adam walked up to me slowly. As he sat down beside me, he put his arm around my shoulder, "Haylee...h...how could you do something like that...with...with Ryan of all people", he asked softly.

I exhaled loudly, making it obvious that I didn't really want to answer his question. "Adam, I...it's really confusing", I said quickly, trying to avoid the subject. "Can we please not talk about it?" I snuggled quickly into Adam's arms.

He quickly moved away and stood up, "Haylee, I know that you probably want to just forget about this whole thing; pretend that none of it ever happened, but I need to know", he said as he took a deep breathe, "I need to know if I can fall in love with you."

"Adam!" I said surprised. "h...how can you say that? I mean, we've only known each other for a..."

"For a month and a half, I know." He stopped as he looked down at his feet and then back up, "I feel like I've known you forever; like...you're maybe the one." I was so overwhelmed with joy, and confusion and worry that I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. "Haylee, I can't have feelings for you if you still love him..."

"Adam...how could you even think that!" I was shocked that he actually thought that I had feelings for him, after he hurt me like that; how could I? "He fucking raped me for God's sake, and you're accusing me of having feeling for that prick?" I took a deep breath and tried to settle myself down, "I understand how you could be worried, but please...he's nothing to me..."

pff I only wish

_________

I woke up two mornings later around three in the afternoon. Adam was working, seeing as he had one of those executive photographer jobs in the cities. I walked into the living room and glanced down at my phone sitting on the table.

3 new messages

I picked up the phone and pressed it against my ear listening to the message.

[[Message one]]

Haylee; you better not have told anyone about that nigh. I could hurt you so much more then I already did; more then you can imagine...you'd better watch you're tongue.

He immediately hung up. I looked down at my phone and saw that the other two were from him also, so I set my phone down, fighting the temptation the listen. In tears I took my phone and dialed Adam's cell number carefully.

It only rang once before he answered.

"Hello?" he said. I have no idea why, but for some reason I just couldn't answer. He didn't deserve such a problem; a hassle. He had everything going for him; a wonderful job, amazing looks and personality. He wouldn't have any trouble finding some other girl to fall in love with. "Hello?" he said again confused. I closed my phone suddenly and walked into the kitchen.

I need to get out of this place;; out of this city

I took a bag, threw everything I felt I needed inside and began walking out when I saw a horrifyingly familiar face down the hall, looking as if he was ready to break down the door to the old apartment.

I was so shocked, so incredibly frightened, that I just stood there for several moments until he finally noticed I was there and began walking towards me. I quickly ran into the apartment and shut the door, barricading myself inside.

My eyes overfilled with water as tears trickled down the sides of my face. I leaned against the door with all my body weight, hoping that maybe I would be enough force to stop him from kicking the door in.

"Open this fucking door Haylee", he said sternly as I felt a pair of powerful fists bang against the door. "I need to talk to you!"

I didn't answer, I wasn't intending on doing so either. I suppose Ryan wasn't going to just take the silence because suddenly, I felt the door collapsed on top of me. I let out a scream in pain as Ryan quickly covered my mouth with his hand and let me into the living room where the two of us somehow tripped onto the floor.

"Why the hell did u switch apartments?"

I pushed his hand away from my mouth and attempted to stand up, but was grabbed by Ryan and pulled back down. "I moved in with my boyfriend", I said as-a-matter-of-factly.

He smiled like the jackass he was. "I knew you'd find someone sooner or later", he snickered. I wanted to just punch his square in the jaw, but knew it would only make my whole situation wore. "So tell me babe, does he compare to me in bed?"

I looked up at his face in disgust. "Shut the fuck up", I said bitchily. "He's more of a fucking man then you'll ever be."

Why can't you just be everything I want...

He smiled sinisterly as he placed his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it slightly. His hands were as cold as ice, and sent a contiguous shiver down the center of my back. "So is that a no." I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could was cut off by Ryan talking again. "Why can't you just live with the fact that you've fallen head over heals in love with me?"

I opened my mouth, but the words just refused to come out. I just stood up and rushed into the bathroom quickly. As I closed the door I got into the shower, sliding down to the floor where I leaned against the wall of the shower. Suddenly the door flew open as Ryan walked in and sat down beside me.

He wrapped his arms around me, and surprisingly I didn't move away. It was nice just being with Ryan again; and I hated it. I hated how I couldn't get over someone who had hurt me so badly, who had lied, and cheated; someone who treated me like I was nothing.

"Haylee", he began softly as he wiped a rolling wet tear away from my eyes, "I know what I did was wrong. I would do anything to take it back. Please...let's just go back to how things we're with me and you; we had a lot of fun."

"Ryan you don't understand", I said as I pulled my knees up to my chest. "Y...you were right, I've fallen in love with you; and I can't just be what you want me to be."

Please, make him say it; make him say it like he really, really means it...

He leaned in close, putting his lips just barley against my earlobe, "Haylee...I love you too." I stared deeply into his eyes, thinking that maybe they could tell me weather he was being honest or not.

But you have no idea how badly I wished I could just sit there; kiss him and then end up renting some suit in a Hilton downtown, having the best night of my life. But I couldn't; I was with Adam now and I sure as hell was going to stay faithful one way or the other. I stood up suddenly and wiped the trickles of wetness from around my eyes, "Ryan; I may be in love with you, but I can't be", I took a pause thinking about what to say next. "...I'm sorry, but I have to go."

And not begin afraid nor having any regrets I walked out of the room and left....