FicWad

On the way to the hospital, Jolinar decided on what she would do once they left earth. Go to Rosha's world. They know me. She thought of the many visits Rosha and her took to the world. How sad Rosha was to see her friends and family die from old age. They might be able to provide me with a host, if not, I still need to tell them what became of Rosha. Rosha. A sensation of lost came over.

She shook her head slightly, still needing to plan. They have some lakes. I can live in one of them if they cannot give me a new host. Martouf and Lantash might think to look for me there. She wondered what their reaction would be, to find one lost love, and not the other. I might actually see them again. She smiled.

At the hospital, Jolinar first checked on a few Nasyans in it, wondering if the Ashrak was hiding among any of them. With the third door she reached, she saw Janet Fraiser was inside. She knocked on the door of the room, and opened it.

"Hey," Janet Fraiser greeted.

Jolinar walked over to the doctor and patient, curious about who was under all those bandages. "This one of the Nasyans we saved?"

"Yeah, he should be dead." Janet replied as she wrote something on her clipboard. "Cassandra's in my office. Now, we still have rounds to make, but you know where it is, right?"

Jolinar nodded as the memories of where to go were already coming from Sam Carter.

Janet left, and Jolinar stepped closer to the Nasyan, very suspicious as to why a man who should be dead was not. She frowned. Is he the Ashrak? If only she knew. If he was, then she'd kill him now, saving not only her life, but perhaps the life of her newest host. His host would be saved from having to live the rest of his life, suffering as someone else controlled his body. There was no way she could remove the symbiote without killing the host, but she could have least save him from suffering from a life not worth living.

However, if she was wrong, another innocent would die because of a mistake she made. /I've already caused too much pain./


She left the room, hoping she was wrong about him being the Ashrak, and even more encouraged to get off this planet as soon as possible.

Jolinar headed down the hall, as old memories that were not hers guided her to Janet's office. Her thoughts trailed to Lantash and Martouf again. Would they accept her back after what she had done? Would the Tok'ra? They weren't pleased after her stunt of trying to overthrow the system lords. This just might be one too many mistakes for them to accept her back. The thought stung, but not as much as the idea of being rejected by her loves.

Sam Carter was fighting again, to keep her away from Cassandra. Jolinar put the thoughts aside to keep in control.

I'm sorry, but if I am discovered now, it will only prolong this whole experience. I promise, when we go off-world, I will find a new host, and if I cannot, then I will still give you back your body.

Jolinar reached Janet's office, and knocked before coming in. So, this is Cassandra. "Hey, there."

Cassandra looked up from her painting. "Sam!" The little girl started heading over, then backtracked to wipe yellow paint from her fingers.

What do I say? Jolinar asked herself, having never handled children before. Her hosts always did that for her. She looked at the painting. "Wow. Nice painting." She hoped the compliment would please the child.

"You really like it?" Cassandra said, as she continued wiping paint from her hands. "My teacher at school says I have talent."

"I love it." Jolinar smiled; glad she was handling this well.

Cassandra started running at her again, "I missed you."

Jolinar hugged her, and felt little arms wrap around. "I know, I'm sorry, I've been so busy."

"-very busy," Cassandra said with her.

Jolinar was glad Cassandra was understanding, thinking she might actually enjoy spending time with her, but suddenly she felt the girl stiffen in her arms. She opened her eyes, and glanced to her. She can't possibly know.

Cassandra pulled again, looking at her with fear.

No, she can't know. How could she possibly know? She started getting up, "Cassandra, what is it?"

Cassandra continued to watch with fear, her head shaking slightly, before she run away, and hid behind the couch.

Damn it! She knows! How does she know! Jolinar's eyes glows. Well she sure as hell knows now! I need better control on the eye-glow. No, she can't tell anyone. This ruins everything! She headed over to Cassandra. Calm down. If I can keep her quiet, then I can leave this planet before anyone knows I was here. Perhaps I can tell her I will leave her friend if she keeps quiet. No, look at her. She's terrified. She won't believe that.

Jolinar stopped in front of the girl. Can I scare her into keeping quiet? Then once I am gone, Sam Carter come back, and Cassandra will see there is no more symbiote, and everything will be good for all three of us. I just have to...terrify an innocent girl. "Cassandra."

Cassandra tried to stay hidden behind the couch.

"Cassandra, you will not tell anyone what you know." She watched sadly as Cassandra tried to shove herself behind the couch. Show no weakness. Act Goa'uld. What would a Goa'uld say? "If you tell anyone what you know about me, I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand me?"

Cassandra made a weak nod; her eyes were still round in fear.

Jolinar stayed for a few seconds longer to make her point. Acting Goa'uld in itself did not bother her. She did it many times as a spy; however, she hated having to scare Cassandra. /It's for the best/, she repeated to herself. "Good, then we understand each other."

She allowed more seconds to pass, trying to judge whether or not Cassandra would say anything, then turned and left. She decided to head to the base as soon as possible.

---

Almost time to leave, where is everyone!

Jolinar walked down the hall and found Teal'c and Daniel Jackson. "Where's the Colonel? We're due to get out of here in five minutes." They don't know. If Cassandra told anyone, Teal'c and Daniel Jackson would be told, right?

"He left us a message, said he'd meet us in the Gate Room," Daniel said.

"Well, step on it then!" Need to get out of here. She headed out towards the Gate Room.

Once at the Gate Room she paced in front of the Chaapa'ai. No one knows. Just a small delay. No one knows. She didn't tell anyone. No one knows. She saw Daniel Jackson and Teal'c head into the room. See, no one knows.

A buzz sound filled the room. That's not me. Just something else from the base. She was determined not to allow her emotions to take control, which would lead to eye-glowing.

"Where's Colonel O'Neill," she asked the two men.

Just then Jack O'Neill entered the room. "Stand down, Campers. We're on hold."

"Why?" Jolinar asked, disliking the slight panic in her voice. Keep control. It could be anything. Jack O'Neill was here the entire time. Cassandra didn't tell him anything.

"I don't know," he said as he continued heading to his team, "some Computer glitch."

Jolinar jerked her arm away, as soon as she realized he was injecting her with something. "What the hell was that?" Tired. Did he make me tired?

Her heart was racing, and it felt like the air was thinning. The need to sleep was steadily coming stronger. Shit! He knows! They all know. I got to get out of here! She grabbed a gun that she had on her, and pointed it at O'Neill. "Open the Stargate!" She didn't bother hiding her voice. Need to get out of here. Just let me out of here.

"Jack, what the hell is going on," said a shocked Daniel, all the events not fully being realized in his mind.

"Open the gate now!" Jolinar demanded. "I command you." Her eyes glowed in anger. I have to get out of here! Find a new host. See Martouf and Lantash again.

A near solider brought up his gun, and shot at her. She glanced down, wondering what it was, and then pointed her gun at him in instinct. O'Neill tried to take her gun while she was distracted. No! She hit him, pushing him down.

"Open the gate now..." she demanded again, and saw Teal'c pointing his staff weapon at her. Next plan was already in action as she pulled a pin from a grenade, "...or we will all die!" They must let me out if I threaten them. They must!

Two more soldiers pulled guns on her.

"Hold your fire!" O'Neill commanded. He turned to the Jaffa, who still had his staff weapon on her. "Teal'c."

"I have a shot, sir," one of the soldiers replied.

"And if she drops that grenade, what?" O'Neill pointed out.

So tired. Jolinar watched the soldiers, and then looked to O'Neill who was heading to her. What did he do to me?

He stopped in front of her. "Nobody's gonna open that Stargate. We're all going live, or we're all gonna die right here."

So tired. Don't want to die. I might survive the blast. No one else would though and... Fight this sleep. "Let me go! I must go!"

"Not gonna happen."

Why won't you let me go? She felt her knees collapse, and a sensation of falling back. Martouf...Lantash...sorry.

To be continued...