Categories > TV > Stargate: SG-1 > Jolinar

In the Mind

by Meushell 0 reviews

Jolinar has a nightmare. She and Sam talk.

Category: Stargate: SG-1 - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Sci-fi - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-11-30 - Updated: 2006-11-30 - 863 words

Jolinar felt out of control. She walked up the ramp of the SGC, but she wasn't the one walking. People walked behind her, friends, though she didn't know or even think about who they were. Jolinar stepped through the gate, and came out into a hot world with sand spreading for miles. She heard the gate shut down, and turned around to face Jack O'Neill, Teal'c, and Daniel Jackson who had stepped behind the gate behind her.

She pulled out a gun and first pointed it towards Jack O'Neill, and pulled the trigger. She turned the gun to Teal'c next, killing him. Finally, she pointed it at Daniel, who looked at her with a look of confusion and betrayal. She fired the gun. Jolinar looked at the bodies, feeling both guilt and out of control.

"What have you done?"

Jolinar turned back outward, and saw Martouf/Lantash and Rosha standing at the bottom of the steps, staring at her. Martouf/Lantash stood behind Rosha with an arm around her waist. Jolinar realized it was Martouf who had spoken. She felt her eyes flare, suddenly in control. "I had no choice."

Martouf's own eyes glowed as Lantash took control. "You have put us to shame, Jolinar."

"I'm sorry."

Rosha took a step closer, causing Martouf's hand to move from her waist to holding her hand. "You are no different than the Goa'uld. I wish I was never a host to you."

The three of them turned and walked away.

"No! Come back! I had no choice." Jolinar fell to her knees. "Please. Come back. I need help." She watched as they continued to walk away, not even looking back. "Come back!" she roared, her symbiote voice making the plea sound much stronger, but still, they walked on.

She lost control again, and picked up a zat'nikatel. "I demand your return." Without hesitation, she fired at each of them twice, and watched their bodies fall.

Jolinar woke up with tears in her eyes. She wiped them away as she realized that the dream was created from the fears of both her and Samantha. It took a moment to realize that Sam was still sleeping. She could faintly see how the rest of the dream was going. It had restarted, but they stepped out on to a planet with grass and tree instead of the last known Tok'ra base.

She knew Sam was still asleep because the drug had a stronger affect on her. Jolinar could help her wake up sooner, but wondered if it would be better for her to sleep as the nightmare continually restarted, or wake up to a life she couldn't control.

Could ask her.

Jolinar closed her eyes, and went deeper into Sam's mind, taking Rosha's form in her dream.


Samantha was about to pull the trigger on her commanding officer. She stopped, suddenly in control, and turned to Rosha's form. "Jolinar?"

"I can help you wake up."

"But you won't give me control."

"You might get us killed." Jolinar glanced down the steps of the Stargate, noticing that Martouf/Lantash and Rosha had reappeared there. They, like O'Neill, Teal'c, and Daniel, seemed to staring towards Sam and Jolinar, not as they had done before, but instead, staring through them, not really watching. They were just there. It was disturbing. Jolinar closed her eyes, and turned back to her host. "I know more about what is going on than you do. It is best that I stay in control."

"You can tell me what is going on."

"You wouldn't believe me," Jolinar pointed out. They both knew this was true. Sam had no reason to believe her. Allowing her last host to have control while an Ashrak was after her, got him and much of his village killed. A mistake she did not want to repeat.

For a moment, both said nothing. Jolinar saw Sam look at Martouf/Lantash and Rosha with curiosity. Jolinar watched as the world went from grass and tress, back into the desert world. She turned back to Sam. "Do you wish to be woken up?"

Sam looked back to her, and then nodded.

Jolinar was back in the real world, which, even though she was in a brig, was less disturbing. She knew Sam wanted to be awake so that she could see what was going on, and what Jolinar was doing. /Not much for her to see/, Jolinar thought, as she worked on waking up her host.

In a few minutes Sam returned to the waking world, a bit surprised that Jolinar had actually done as she wished.

Jolinar stood up and looked out of the brig. She clasped her hands behind her, and stood with fleet apart.

Standard Martouf pose.

It took a second for Jolinar to realize that it was Sam's thoughts, and not her own. You've learned to look into my mind as well. I understand now why you haven't been fighting lately.

/Yes/, Sam admitted.

Perhaps if you continue to search, you will see I am telling the truth.

Sam didn't respond.

Jolinar kept her pose, while she and Sam waited for what was to come next.

To be continued...
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