FicWad

Emily woke up early the next morning, quickly remembering what had happened the night before and remembering that if Brad was still alive, she would be walking down the aisle to get married to him that day. She sighed heavily and carefully pulled away from Ryan so that she wouldn't wake him up. She grabbed her journal and went downstairs. She was surprised to see Spencer sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a book.
"Did you get any sleep Spence?" Emily asked with concern, sitting down beside her friend. Spencer just shook his head no. "I am really sorry... but I am okay." She reassured, holding his hand.
"How can you say that? You're not okay!" Spencer exclaimed, practically yelling. Emily was a little surprised by his reaction. "You almost killed yourself last night. You can't sit there and tell me that you're okay." He whispered, seeing that he had upset his friend. Emily pushed away from the table and looked at Spencer one last time before running out the front door. It was 6:30am, so the neighborhood was still asleep. She didn't know where she was going, but Emily just walked around. Eventually, she decided to sit in the park. Crying, she pulled a necklace out of her pocket. From it hung her engagement ring.

FLASHBACK

Brad pulled Emily close to his body and kissed her softly. She giggled, like she usually did, and pulled away. She ran into the bedroom. When Brad caught up with her, he kissed her deeply and gently laid her on the bed. This time, it was his turn to pull away. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and dropped to one knee.
"Emily, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are so smart and talented, you are dedicated and I love you so much. I can't imagine living with anybody else for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"
"Of course Brad!" She exclaimed, jumping into his arms. She kissed him softly as he slid the beautiful diamond engagement ring onto her finger. "I love you so much Brad. Don't ever leave me."

"Emily! There you are..." Emily snapped back to reality, to see Spencer standing in front of her. She wiped the tears from her face. "I am really sorry... I know that I crossed the line and shouldn't have said that but I have already lost you once, and the thought of losing you again terrifies me. I want to help you get through whatever this is."
"Just leave me alone Spencer. You have already helped me enough." Emily said coldly, turning her back on her friend. Instead of walking away, Spencer sat down on the bench beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "Spencer..."
"Please Emily, just talk to me." Spencer pleaded, not letting go as she tried to pull away. She didn't feel like talking. She just felt like running away. After all, that seemed to be the one thing that she was good at. Emily turned to face Spencer and just cried. He pulled her into his chest and kissed her on the forehead. "Come on Em, let's go home?" He suggested.
"I just need some time to think... but I will be back in a little while." Emily said sadly. Spencer didn't bother arguing and just walked away. "Spence, wait." Emily called weakly just before Spencer turned the corner. Emily ran to catch up with him. They linked arms and walked in silence back to the house. When they got up, everyone was up and sitting in the kitchen. Brendon ran to her and hugged her carefully because he didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already was.
"Where did you go? We were all really worried." Brendon said sincerely, wiping a piece of hair out of her eye. Emily couldn't help but notice how Ryan cringed seeing Brendon touch her.
"I just needed some air and time to think." Emily said calmly. "I think I owe you guys an explanation... I have talked to Ry and Bren about what is going on... but Spence and Jon, you deserve to know. I am really sorry for all of this." She started.
"You don't have to do this...." Brendon said cautiously.
"I do..." Emily held onto his hand tightly. He gently rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. "When I left Vegas after graduation, I was running from a fucked up past. Toronto is exactly what I needed, but things got really fucked up again. Ryan, you were not easy to get over. I loved you and missed you every day with everything in my body. Eventually, I moved on but it was a very slow process. I met this guy named Brad. We just... clicked. He made me feel alive again. After a year, we moved in together and things were going better than I could have ever imagined. He proposed to be. We were going to get married." Emily pulled the ring out of the pocket again, and passed it to Ryan. "We started planning the wedding and everything was going wonderfully. I came home late one night after working at the studio on a project and there was a note on the door from him, telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was for what he had done. Of course, I freaked out and started looking for him. I found him in our bathroom... in the tub actually. He had cut his wrists and bled to death. The wedding was supposed to be today, in an hour actually." She whispered, leaning into Brendon's chest. She was too exhausted to cry again, so she and the rest of the guys sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Spencer was the first to speak.
"I am so sorry Emily... that is terrible." He said, his voice shaking. It really upset him to see her so broken and sad. He approached her and hugged her tightly. When they pulled away, she noticed that Ryan had disappeared.
"He just needed some space to take this all in." Brendon told her quickly once he noticed the look of panic that had spread across her face. "You still look exhausted. Let's go rest." He suggested. Emily agreed, but when she tried to stand up, she just collapsed back onto her chair. Brendon carefully picked her up and carried her up the stairs.